Richard Ellis Talks

Richard Ellis: Don't do something unless you think it's right. Forget peer pressure. If God tells you to not do something and the whole church or the whole world goes and jumps off a cliff, stand your ground and say, "You know what? I just can't do that." It's better for me to have peace with God and my relationship be right with Him than to make you happy, so I'll pass.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. Thanks for allowing us to share this time with you. You may be stuck in traffic or stuck in life. Either way, today's message is going to help you get on the right track as you learn how much God loves you right where you are.

Richard's unique style checks all the boxes with a lot of hope, insight, truth, and of course, humor. Today's talk with Richard will get our conversation started, but we want to keep it going with you, so let's stay in touch through our website, richardellis.com. But right now, let's go ahead and get right into today's talk. Here's Richard Ellis.

Richard Ellis: The title of today's message is Rights and Wrongs. Basically, the gist is this: people have a tendency, and I think maybe in America more than anywhere, to say, "You know what? I have my rights. I can do whatever I want to do. I can say whatever I want to say. I can go wherever I want to go. It's none of your business what I do or how I live my life." That may work for America, but it doesn't work in the Book.

Sometimes your rights can wrong someone else. I want to talk to you today about looking, and I've been going through this myself. I've had some conversations the last few months and some people have been thinking about this thing. This isn't any one particular situation; this is across the board. Things that you may be involved with in your life that you say, "Well, you know what? It's none of God's business, maybe His, but it's nobody else's business. I can do what I want to do and live how I want to live and it doesn't affect anybody else but me, so just leave me alone."

When you say it that way, you might not like the way that sounds. But you're either living your life for you and it's all about me, me, me, me, me, or you're living it for God and you're more concerned about what He thinks and about how your life impacts other people than just what you think and what you're going through. Let's look at some verses. Romans chapter 14.

If you've read through some of these passages that I'm going to go through and thought, "What is this about?" there are certain things in the Scripture that apply to the people. This book of Romans was written by Paul to some people in the city of Rome, these Christians in Rome. They had certain things. We're going to look at some verses in Romans and some in Corinthians.

They lived in a pagan culture. Even San Francisco, as bad a rap as it gets, and Dallas is eking up there in terms of evil and just all-out debauchery. San Francisco, notwithstanding, is not anywhere close to where Rome and Corinth, these cities, were. These cities were so pagan. It wasn't about whether you went to church or you didn't go to church. It wasn't about whether you were a Christian or you weren't a Christian, and it wasn't about there even being two or three world religions.

These people worshipped anything. They might worship birds, they might worship trees. Some guy would carve a statue of some god or goddess, and they'd create a whole temple around this. These Greek gods, these Roman gods. So these people were born into a culture where you just picked a god. You say, "Well, I'm glad that's over." You can go to India today. There are countries on the planet today where they literally, in their culture, have thousands of idols.

People are raised thinking there's not just one God; there are all these gods, any number of gods, and you pick a god or you pray. If you've gone to some of these countries, there are shrines out under trees, or under a tree it is the tree. You don't kill a cow because it's sacred. There are all these things, and people who are raised in this, you say, "Well, this stuff doesn't apply to me." Let me tell you something: there are places on the planet where you open this Book and it is as alive and real culturally today as it was 2,000 or 3,000 years ago. They have the same issues, even though we don't have the same issues here a lot of times. They have them there. We have them here more than you think, at least idol worship.

Back then, there were sacrificial systems where they'd go to these temples and they would sacrifice, much like Judaism. The pagan religions would go and they would sacrifice animals to their gods, or in some cases, human sacrifice. But in this context in Rome and Corinth, they would do animal sacrifice. The way this deal worked was somebody would go to the temple, this priest would take this animal, and there'd be a sacrifice. A portion of the animal would be sacrificed, but a portion of it would be sold in the market at that temple's storefront.

You've got these people worshipping this idol, sacrificing meat, then they'd go to the market or they could go to this temple's little storefront and say, "Well, I'd like to buy some flank steak or something." They're buying this meat, which was what? Offered to this idol. People who grew up in that system, grew up in that culture and did that, when they became a Christian, they were so freaked out about their past and about what they had been involved with that they literally could not buy any meat that was offered to an idol because it just confused them.

There are people we're going to talk about today, principle-wise, who come out of a pretty heavy-duty background and lifestyle, and there are things that they did in their past that, frankly, when they become a Christian, there are places they can't even go. There are things they can't do. It's not that some of these things are evil, because as we'll see in a minute, the idols were nothing. A tree carved into a statue is nothing; it's just a statue. But to a person who put credence in that statue and thought that that was a god, it's very hard for them to eat meat that was sacrificed to that idol. That's the context.

Here's what most people would say and even here they say: "Well, that's stupid. We know it's just an idol and that's silly. Why would somebody be concerned about it? It's just meat and idols, that's stupid. Just eat the meat. What's the matter with you?" That's your perspective. But the whole point of what we're going to talk about is I may have the right to do that and to say that, but that may cause somebody else to be thrown completely for a loop. Let me read you some pretty long passages today, so just follow along. If you get bogged down, don't worry about it, just keep going to get the gist of this thing.

Let's start with Romans chapter 14 verse 1. "Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to dispute over doubtful things. For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables." There were some of these people that were vegetarians because of this whole meat thing; they didn't know where the meat they were eating had been. "Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God receives him. Who are you to judge another servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand."

"One person esteems one day above another." I grew up where you didn't swim on Sunday. Some people today go, "What?" You couldn't play cards or all this weird stuff. You can play dominoes, but you can't play cards. You can gamble with dominoes as fast as you can with cards. This stuff. Some people you may have grown up with that. You couldn't swim on Sunday, you have to sleep on Sunday, you can't work on Sunday, all these things. He says here, "One person esteems one day above another." Sunday you've got to do certain things, the rest of the week you can't do anything.

Somebody says that's stupid. Somebody else says that's how I was raised, that's very important to me. You don't look at that person and go, "Well, I think you're an idiot." What kind of attitude is that? He says, "Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." Let me just throw this in here: don't do something unless you think it's right. Forget peer pressure. If God tells you to not do something and the whole church or the whole world goes and jumps off a cliff, stand your ground and say, "You know what? I just can't do that. It's better for me to have peace with God and my relationship be right with Him than to make you happy, so I'll pass."

If the whole crew is going out to Billy Bob's Dancing or whatever and you got in trouble in your past there and that's not a safe place for you, and they say, "Oh, come on. No, I don't feel comfortable. Oh, come on, we'll have a great time." If you have to, just say, "Look, I screwed up 40 years of my life doing joints like that, smoking joints, doing joints, whatever your deal was. I'm not going. Leave me alone." And you pass on it. They say, "Well, I think that's stupid." They shouldn't be saying that, number one. But secondly, you ought to be able to stand up and we ought to encourage one another to stand up and say, "Look, I've got to do what's best for me. Even if you think I'm weak, I've got to be safe."

Verse 6: "He who observes the day observes it to the Lord, and he who does not observe the day to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks, and he who does not eat to the Lord he does not eat and gives God thanks. For none of us lives to himself and no one dies to himself." It's not just about you. And I've said this before: this ain't going to the movies. You go to the movies, you can go by yourself, you can sit by yourself, you can watch a movie by yourself, and get up and leave by yourself. You can't do church like the movies. You're going to have to interact and care what God thinks, what you think, and what somebody else thinks and be sensitive to that.

Verse 8: "For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written, 'As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.' So then each of us shall give an account of himself to God."

You will give an account of yourself to God. "Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this." This is the point. Resolve this, don't go around judging somebody else. We think of judging as you shouldn't be doing that. This kind of judging is why you can't come do this with us. It's a reverse judging. "Rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way."

The point here is to live your life and say, "I will do whatever I have to do. I'll give up whatever I have to give up, not because I don't have rights or I can't do certain things, but because I care more about how this is going to impact somebody else's life." People, I'll just jump in here. I've discussed this a little bit, but I'll give you an example. If I had a glass of wine today, it ain't going to kill me. But you know what? I've made a decision in my life that I don't drink alcohol. You say, "Well, does that mean I can't drink alcohol?" I don't know.

But what I do and as many kind of people as I'm around, all I need is to be seen one place by one person who says, "Oh my gosh, I thought he was a preacher and he's drinking beer, he's drinking wine." You say, "Well, who cares?" You know what? I care. And I think God cares. I ought to care about that person, and if there's something like that, I go, "That's fine, Lord. Whatever You say." Somebody said, "Well, do you serve wine with the Lord's Supper?" Now, would that be evil? I mean, they served wine in the New Testament Lord's Supper. You know why we don't serve wine at the Lord's Supper? Because it's too expensive, for one thing. But other than that, because everybody'd bring a bottle and a straw.

But here's the main reason: if somebody came to the Lord's Supper, this family gathering, and they went to pick up a glass and this person's an alcoholic, that should not be something causing that person to stumble, right? So you pass on it. You say, "Well, I want to go do this." You say, "Well, fine, that's what you want to do. What does God want you to do?" And not just how does it affect you, how is it affecting everybody around you, and does that matter to you? By this will all men know that you are My followers, you're My disciples: that you have love one for another. Sooner or later, we start caring more about what somebody else is going through and how what we're doing or how we're living is going to affect them than just us, right?

Look at verse 14. Listen to what Paul says here: "I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself." Basically, the things he's discussing here, there's nothing wrong with eating this meat, nothing wrong with drinking this wine, whatever it is. He says, "I know it's not that it's unclean in itself, but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean."

There are people in this room where one person may be able to do something, the next person can't, because to you it's offensive, it's just not something you can do. Don't try to push either way. Don't try to say to somebody who can't do it, "Well, that's stupid, just do it." And don't you who can't do it say to somebody else, "Well, you shouldn't be doing that." Because it says here we're going to all have to answer to God. Most people, frankly, live their life trying to make everybody else happy anyway and can care less about what God thinks in the long run.

You can live a pure life without a pure heart. Does everybody understand that? There are people that walk this planet today who live a pure life. They're not screwing around, they're not getting drunk, they're not doing drugs, they're not doing anything wrong, but they're mean as a devil. They're angry, bitter people, and they're doing all the right things. I'm more concerned about you having a pure heart and because of that having a pure life than being religious and having a pure life without a pure heart.

Verse 14: "I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love." If you're deliberately doing something you know is causing someone else a problem, you're not walking in love. "Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died." Well, I can eat what I want to eat, or I can drink what I want to drink, or I can do what I want to do, I don't care. That's the problem: you don't care.

"Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil." You say, "But I'm not doing anything wrong." Yeah, but if what you're doing is causing someone else a problem and you say you care about them, then the good you're doing now becomes evil because of what it's doing in someone else's life. I'm going to tell you something, guys, I'll lose some of you. You know why? You say, "I'm not interested in living that way. I'm going to do what I want to do." And I can tell you right now your Christianity will not work. You're going to be a stick-in-the-mud from this day forward if you shut down here and say, "I'm going to live for me."

Six-month-old kids say that. Two-year-olds say that. They scream and everybody has to come running. You know why? Because the whole world revolves around little infants and little kids. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. Childish things have something to do with how you behave and say, "You know what? The world doesn't revolve around me, and it didn't all just be about me." That verse, by the way, is in the middle of 1 Corinthians 13, talking about love. Just out of nowhere, all this love stuff and then boom, that thing about child and childlike faith and the way you live.

Sooner or later, one of the signs of being a mature believer is you find yourself caring more about somebody else and how your life affects their life than just doing whatever you want to do and getting away with it and who cares? You can just figure it out, I don't care.

Verse 16: "Therefore do not let your good be evil spoken of; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense."

Listen again, here he goes again: "It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak." Guys, that means anything. He said eat meat, drink wine, but then he says anything. Now, here's what I want you to be thinking about: has there ever been anything in your life that you thought, "You know, man, I could do this God thing, but I met this Christian and they do this and because of that I couldn't get over them to Jesus because it just it threw me for a loop? They caused me to stumble."

Now the other question is this: can you think of anything that you as a believer are doing or involved with or part of your life that if you really stopped to think and said, "You know, I'm cool with this, but I bet this is throwing somebody for a loop"? Now what do you do about that and how do you live that life? You say, "God, I have this relationship with You and I care more about what You think about me, but God, I also have relationship with other people, and I'm asking You to give me sensitivity, discernment, and not let anything I'm doing get in the way of somebody else getting You."

Guys, that's love. You are not going to do that without God, because basically we're going to do whatever the heck we want to do, how we want to do it, when we want to do it, and I don't care what you think, right? That's the American way. At least it is now. There was a day when that was not the American way, where it was more about helping other people and being sensitive and caring about other people.

Keep looking down here. We're going to keep going through these verses. Verse 21 again: "It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever—" now this is one of the biggest statements ever made in the Bible, so underline this in 23— "for whatever is not from faith is sin."

What in the world does that mean? Here's your answer, the way I understand it: if I walk into a restaurant and I sit down at a meal and I'm sitting there with somebody else and they order wine and I don't, and this person harasses me and harasses me: "Richard, what the— what, are you better than us? You some preacher kind of guy? What's it going to kill you to have one sip, one glass of wine?" And they just beat me down, beat me down, and I go, "Okay," and I drink a glass of wine, but I don't do it believing that it's the right thing to do. I'm not doing it out of faith, then it's sin.

You say, "Well, it sounds like there's all kind of gray area." You better bet there's all kind of gray area. Because what one person can do, the other person can't do. Whatever is not of faith is sin. So somebody in here can have a beer, nothing about it. Somebody else, somebody offers you a beer, you've got to pass because you don't in your heart believe it's the right thing to do, and if you drank it, it'd be sin, but the other person drinking it is not.

I'm going to throw this in here just for whoever it hits: if you're out there drinking, I can't show you anywhere it says you cannot drink, but if you're getting drunk, you're out of line. If you want to figure out really fast what will screw up your witness and destroy a church and destroy what's going on, if you're out there getting wasted, you are destroying because that counteracts what God said. Do not be drunk with wine in which is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. I don't have any problem— I care enough about you and anybody else— that if you're out there getting sloshed, I'll sit you down on that one and you ought to sit each other down on that one because it's destroying your life. It's not biblical and people watching that say, "You know what? I'm already a drunk. I don't need to hang God on this thing."

You say, "Well, there's all this gray stuff. How do you know what to do?" You're going to have to talk to God. Everybody comes to me and says, "Richard, what do you think I should do?" I say, "No, you need to go ask God what you ought to do." There's enough stuff written in here to keep you busy for 40 years. Everybody wants to be handed some little list of things to do and just check off their list. That is not a relationship; that is rules and religion. God wants to talk to you every day, all day, in every situation, and you say, "Well, that sounds very subjective."

You're going to screw up, but I'd rather have kids going through the motions, learning in process, than just people who check off a list, have evil hearts and pure lives. I want you to screw up because you're going to anyway, but learn in the process. You get in a situation you say, "God, I don't have anybody here to tell me, what am I supposed to do?" And listen to the inner witness of the Spirit of God if you're a believer and say, "God, show me." And He says, "Don't do that." "Yeah, but God, they're going to say this." Who cares what they say? If I'm telling you not to do it, do the right thing.

Or you get in a situation like we're talking about now where you say, "God, I want to do this." And He says, "Nope, you can't do that anymore." "Well, why not? I've done this for 30 years." You can't do it anymore because if you do it, that guy's going to stumble. I care about you, but I care about him, and we're not doing this anymore because it's having too much domino effect. You see what I'm saying? So you find yourself cutting back in areas and going, "Ooh, got to pass on that." And it's not fun, maybe.

But guys, this isn't about being fun. Being a parent is a pain sometimes. I can remember Beck and I were dating, we'd go to the movies whenever we want to go, we'd go to dinner whenever we want to go. But these little babies start showing up, these kids start showing up. You don't every once in a while you hear about parents who go to the movies and get down about three blocks down the street and remember they left the baby at the house. You get so used to living for yourself that you forget you got other people. There are sacrifices associated with growing up physically and spiritually. You're either going to have to get in or just sit right where you are. There's just no way around this stuff.

Verse 15:1: "We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak and not to please ourselves." That's what we're getting at. "Let each of us please his neighbor for his good leading to edification" or building up of that person. "For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, 'The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.' For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, and we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of peace and comfort—" he prays a prayer here— "may the God of peace and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

I'm also going to leave you this: 1 Corinthians chapter 8, same thing, meat offered to idols, verses 1 to 13, it's that whole chapter. Let me read you 1 Corinthians 10:23: "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being."

So many people want to be Lone Ranger Christians and they'll even show up at church and do this, but they don't want to interact with other people. They don't want anybody else encroaching on their privacy and on their life. Guys, this is a family, and in families there are things that happen and that go on that you have to put up with that are just part of being family. You don't always get your way, and it shouldn't be about getting my way. It ought to be about God getting His way, and His way is for everybody's needs to be met, and if that means me sacrificing, fine, or giving something up, fine, for the sake of everybody.

Guest (Male): We'll get back to Richard in a moment to close out today's talk. But first, I want to share something with you about the program. Our mission is actually very simple: to take the planet. So it's our prayer that these daily talks from Richard aren't something you only hear and enjoy, but that they inspire you to share with others. Together, we can do this.

The message of the Gospel is something everyone needs to hear, and that's why it's a huge priority to us. And you can join us in this important mission. Call us at 855-6-RICHARD to say you're in, or you can get on board with us through our website, richardellis.com. Well, here's Richard with some closing thoughts for you.

Richard Ellis: One last passage: Philippians 2. Philippians 2 verse 1: "Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

The whole Gospel, guys, of Jesus— His life, death, burial, and resurrection— is about the God of the universe coming because He loved us so much. He laid His life down and was willing to sacrifice His rights. You've got a 33-year-old guy who never did anything wrong, never married, never had any kids, says, "I'm going to give my whole life up, not experience a lot of the things that some people experience, and I'm going to die. I can stop it, I don't have to go through with it, but I'm going to prove to these people that I love them. I'll lay my life down. I'll die so they can live, then I'll live so they don't have to die and they can really live between here and heaven."

You're not going to be a Christian, you're not going to get this Christianity thing, until you get these principles, this lifestyle of laying it down and saying it's not just about me, it's about somebody else. Obviously, there are people from different backgrounds, different walks of life, in any church, any place, and you say, "But Richard, this is stupid. This stuff that they're getting caught up in is stupid." It's not stupid if it's your deal.

See, all these things that we think are so stupid are stupid until it's our personal deal that we're getting tripped up on. There are a lot of people up there tripping and getting tripped up on stuff that really could be avoided. You say, "Well, I'm going to have to live paranoid." No, you're just going to have to walk with God. You're going to have to listen. You're going to get in a situation and what you could have done two weeks ago, He's going to say, "Nope. That's what I'm talking about. Nope. It's not just about me. It's not about my rights when my rights wrong someone else."

Guest (Male): This has been Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. The message of the Gospel is one we take very seriously in our mission to reach the planet, and you have a vital part of doing that along with us. If you've been encouraged by these talks with Richard, be sure to tell someone about the change they've made in your life. You can even share today's talk with them through the website, richardellis.com.

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