Richard Ellis Talks

Richard Ellis: When you get connected to God, you have to start behaving and thinking the way God thinks. You have to understand at some point that God cares about people, or he wouldn't have sent his only Son down here to get killed for them. You say, "But they're my enemy. I don't want to care about them." It's not about what I want to do. It's about what he is trying to do in you and through you.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. Richard's going to take the next few minutes to share some great words of hope and insight for you. In today's broken world, that is something everyone is desperate to hear. Richard shares unapologetically the truth of the Bible in a way that's clear, relational, and uplifting.

Thank you for taking this time to listen. We know it will bless you. When you have a moment, you might want to check out our website so we can stay connected with you: richardellis.com. But right now, let's go ahead and get things off and running with today's talk. Here's Richard Ellis.

Richard Ellis: The title of today's message is Haters. Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately, feel extreme aversion for, or extreme hostility toward; detest. What is a hater? One who expresses unfounded or inappropriate hatred or dislike, particularly if motivated by envy.

Let me read you a few quotes. Coretta Scott King said, "Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated." George Bernard Shaw: "Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated." Richard Nixon: "Always remember that others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself."

Turn over to Exodus 23. One of the things that I don't think many Christians are prepared for, or followers of Christ—a lot of people call themselves Christians who really aren't followers or following—if you decide to follow, you are going to encounter haters. There are going to be people who do not like what you believe; therefore, it's like they don't like you anymore. You say, "I don't like people not to like me." It comes with the package. It does not mean that you have to do things to make it worse. But if you follow any direction, if you follow any course and stick to it, somebody is not going to like what you believe because they don't believe that, and then they're not going to like you.

There is a way for you to react appropriately. I like the word "respond" better in those situations. Let's read about this. Exodus chapter 23, verse four. This is Old Testament, so it's pretty hardcore sometimes. "If you meet your enemy's ox or his donkey going astray," your enemy, "you shall surely bring it back to him again." That is the last thing you want to do.

If you're like me, if I'm being really honest, when somebody does something to me, I've got some retaliatory tendencies where, if nothing else, I'm smiling but under my breath going, "I hope that works out really well for you." We have these moments of, "Yeah, that's what you deserve. His donkey's lost. Good for him. Too bad for him." The Bible says take it back to him.

I don't care about him, much less his donkey. Why am I going to do this? Because you are not just another person. When you get connected to God, you have to start behaving and thinking and feeling the way God thinks. You have to understand at some point that God cares about people, or he wouldn't have sent his only Son down here to get killed for them.

You say, "But they're my enemy. I don't want to care about them." It's not about what I want to do. It's about what he is trying to do in you and through you. Part of what makes God appealing to people is when we are different in a holy, wholesome kind of way.

He keeps going here. Take it back to him. "If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying under its burden," he's collapsed under the burden, "and you would refrain from helping it, you shall surely help him with it." Help. Get in there. If this is not who you are and where you are, then your Christianity is going to fall apart somewhere because this is a "second mile" kind of deal.

If you've heard the phrase "go the second mile," back in the day, a Roman soldier, if you were traveling from one city to the next and a Roman soldier is coming towards you and encounters you on the road, by law, that Roman soldier could say, "Take my pack." By law, he could force you to turn around and carry his load a mile that way.

That meant you'd go a mile that way, then have to turn around and make up your mile this way. You're going two miles out of your way because that soldier could compel you to carry his load. The Bible says if you're compelled to go one, go two, which turns into four.

If he says, "Take my pack," you say, "Gladly." You carry it a mile, then you go a second mile, then you come back the two miles out of the way. You say, "That's inconvenient. I don't want to." You're going to have to get used to being inconvenienced. You don't own you anymore. This is not your life anymore.

You say, "I can go where I want to go and do what I want to do." No, you can't. If that's what you're doing, you are out of line. You say, "If I really submitted and really let God have all of my life, he'd wreck my life." He's not out to wreck your life.

Go to Proverbs 25, verse 21. Who is he talking about? Your enemy again. We've helped his donkey now. Now he says, "If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat." I don't want to be around these people. I don't want to help their animals. I don't want to feed them. "And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and the Lord will reward you."

Let me explain this "coals of fire" thing. This picture of coals of fire is not to consume, but it's to melt him into kindness. It's a metaphor taken from smelting metallic ores. You're not trying to burn him up; you're trying to melt him into kindness.

Jump ahead to Romans chapter 12, verse 14. This same passage is quoted in Romans chapter 12, and there's a great word in here in the Greek that I want to point out. "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." It's completely backwards. It's completely the opposite.

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Verse 19: "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord."

If you're worried about someone getting away with something, let me tell you something: nobody gets away with anything. You say, "How is that possible? They did something horrible to me." We literally say this phrase: "To hell with that person." We are so full of hatred and resentment and anger and bitterness. We think, "I don't want to wait for God to judge them. To hell with you."

We want judgment on that person, and then we are the ones consumed with throwing those flames on them, and we get eaten up in the process. You've got to stand back and say, "God, whatever they did, bless them." Because if it doesn't turn around for that person, the very thing you think you want for them is way worse than anybody can ever absorb.

You say, "But what if they don't ever have to pay? What if you had to pay?" You say, "I have never done anything like what they did to me." Let me tell you something: even one drop of poison gets you into hell. One little sin will get you in. We're not comparing here who's better or worse. The same blood that's going to get me in is going to get them in.

So the payment, you say, "Who will pay?" It may be that they discover one day, if you bless them and don't curse them, that Jesus paid for that too, and then they don't get to be punished forever. You really don't want what you think you want for people.

Leave the vengeance to God. He will repay. If he chooses not to repay, it's because someone already did pay and that person acknowledged that. You're going to be in heaven with a lot of people just like you, if you make heaven, which are people who were saved by the grace of God. None of us deserve to be there.

If you think you deserve to be in heaven apart from the grace of God, there's a chance you ain't making it, because that's not how you get in. It is humbly coming before him and saying, "God, I have no right to your heaven, but I thank you for your mercy, your grace, your Son that died for me, and whoever else you chose to save and believed what I believed. Bring it, because if you can change me, you can change them."

Keep reading here, Romans 12:20. "Therefore 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

The word here for "heaping coals of fire on his head" in the Greek is the word anthrax. Do you know what the Bible says to do to them? Anthrax them. Anthrax: burning or live coal. It was a proverbial expression signifying to call up, by favors you confer on your enemy, the memory in him of the wrong he has done you, which shall pain him as if live coals were heaped on his head, that he may the more readily repent.

Then the next phrase in that verse was, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." See, you think—and I read a quote earlier—you think if someone hates you, you hate them back, that it's game on. That's what they want. When someone does something evil to you and you bless, they curse you and you bless them, they try to keep coming at you and you keep loving them anyway, it just makes them crazy. They're swinging, they want to fight, and you're standing there turning the other cheek.

You say, "I'm tired of turning the cheek. I want to swing." It's never going to work. Someone who picks a fight wants a fight. That's what it's all about. If you keep loving them back—you say, "Is there never a place where a country or an individual defends themselves?" Yes. But you know what this is about. It's an individual thing, someone coming at you. You say, "Okay, God, I'm going to bless them."

You can't do this without Jesus. When you read the Bible, it should be impossible. You read it and go, "God, that's not me. I don't have this in my heart. You're going to have to change my heart, or I can't live this life." He says, "Okay, get out of the way and let me love through you. Let me live through you. Let me show you how this is done." Then you find yourself blessing people.

It doesn't take me long to come up with names. When I start coming up with names—I've had this happen over the last few days—for whatever reason, the enemy or God's allowed this, I've been hit with names of people who have harmed people that I love. This is where it gets practical. When those names come up, when those people come to mind, you are supposed to say, "Father, I bless that person. Bless that man, bless that young man, bless that woman, bless those people, Lord, because I am not getting sucked into that fight."

Those people can be dead and you still hate on them, and it's doing nobody any good. It's only harming you in that process. Bless them. You say, "I don't think that works." You don't know until you try it. The average person never even attempts it. Give it a shot. That person comes to mind, you say, "Lord, I release them." When you release them by blessing them, what you end up doing is releasing yourself. Anthrax them.

Turn to Matthew chapter five. It's interesting; there are men and women who are trained to kill you with their bare hands. There are people who are trained to kill you. Even though they have the ability to do that, if someone comes up to that person and picks a fight, they have a certain amount of restraint. You don't kill someone just because you can.

Some people have to walk away from a situation. Maybe someone swings at them, someone picks a fight, says some words, and you say, "I'm angry. I could take this all the way. You spoke ill of my mother, and now I'm going to kill you." That's really not the answer. How do you walk away? You have to have some self-control to step back and move on.

This isn't even just about that. This is about, beyond self-control and not engaging in a fight, you come back in a different kind of fight: heaping coals of fire on their head, blessing them, being kind. You say, "They're going to think I'm weak." It takes more strength to do this than to swing at somebody. Any fool can pick a fight. But to stop and analyze in wisdom and scripturally and biblically and say, "God, what is my response supposed to be here? How do you want me to behave?" It's a whole different way of living.

Matthew chapter five, verse 10. There's a bunch of "blessed those who mourn," "blessed those who are comforted." It gets down to verse 10: "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

You've got to stop being shocked. If you go to work and you take a stand and you do the right thing and somebody makes fun of you or persecutes you or leaves you out of the crowd or you don't get promoted, you've got to get over yourself. You say, "I wasn't promoted; it cost me money." It cost Jesus his life. There are people who have died for this. It's not about promotions.

God knows who you are, where you are. The story of Joseph—look at his life. He kept trusting, kept trusting, and by thirty, he's the Prime Minister of Egypt. Not doing it the world's way, doing it God's way. He was falsely accused repeatedly, and he stuck in there, and God raised him up.

Skip down to verse 43. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."

How do you know you're one of God's kids? Because you live and love and do what he would do. "For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."

I want you to think about someone that you work with, someone you're around on a weekly basis that you know for a fact just has it in for you. Maybe another student, maybe a co-worker, maybe a neighbor. Here's my question: they keep pecking at you. When is the last time you, in your private prayer time, prayed for that person? That's what my book says. "Pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."

Now, you say, "I'm praying for them, all right. I'm praying hellfire on them." That's not the kind of praying, not in the context of "bless them, pray for them." You say, "I don't want to do that. I want harm to come to them. They're hurting me." You just can't find a verse for that.

If you really care about people the way God cares about them and you get over yourself, and you get past this, and you walk with God in such a way that you can do this, then you start anthraxing people. You start heaping coals of fire on their head, and finally they just go, "Okay, what is up with you, dude? This is crazy stuff. I am being so mean to you, and you keep coming back being kind to me. What is wrong with you? Can't you see I want to fight?"

You neutralize them so much, you soften them so much, that they can't figure out what is wrong with you. Because if you are strong—and I'm not saying you're not strong—they know you could come back. Maybe if that's who you were in the past, they're dumbfounded that you are not that person anymore. We lose so many opportunities to reach people for Christ who are our enemies because we won't just do it God's way.

When you meet somebody like that, at some point you've got to start asking questions. "Why is this person so angry?" And especially if they're haters, then you've probably really not done anything to exacerbate it to this level. You go, "There's something wrong with this person." Get past that they hate you or they're hating on you. What is wrong? They are in pain. Most people I come in contact with are in pain in some category. Something happened to them. And maybe you weren't the one; you're just somebody else that they can hate on, beat on, peck at.

I'm just suggesting: try it this way for a little while and see what happens. Go to Luke chapter six. "Woe to you when all men speak well of you." Does everybody like you? No haters? That's a problem. Because if you live for something, if you love something, if you are passionate about something, somebody's not going to like it.

You think PETA people give a rip whether you like them or not? You think militant homosexuals care whether you like them or not? I have great respect for these people. I think sometimes they get a little angry and out of bounds, but they don't care whether you like them or not. They are passionate about something. Now, we're not supposed to be militant, crazy people out there just after some deal. We're supposed to be speaking the truth in a loving way. That distinguishes us.

But we don't back off. You get in a conversation and somebody pipes in there and says whatever, and you just sit there? There's a time and place to speak up. You say, "But if I speak up, they're not going to like me." You've got to quit worrying about everybody liking you. Not everybody liked Jesus.

You know who hated Jesus? The people who were supposed to love him the most. The religious leaders that he had put on the planet to run Israel and run the synagogues and run everything. All the high priests, all the Pharisees, these guys had been put in place, and they hated him. They wanted him dead.

So if you are actually believing something and living something, someone is not going to like you. Now, if they even hate you, what are you going to do to them? You're going to pray for them. You're going to bless them. But don't be shocked when this happens.

"Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets. But I say to you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods, do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise."

In other words, the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. "But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back."

"But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For he is kind to the unthankful and evil." You know how I know that? Because that's me. I am the unthankful; I am the evil one at some point.

"Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."

Do you know why you may not be experiencing much in the mercy of God? Because you won't dispense it. And that's what he says happens here. The same measure that you use, it's measured back to you. You may be getting back from the world what you're putting out. And you might be able to minimize the haters in your life if you stop hating on other people that you don't like, or you think they're weird, or you don't like their position. Someone's not going to like you, but they've got to know that you love them, you care about them, that you found ways to heap coals of fire on their head and just irritate them to death.

Luke chapter 23. Jesus on the cross. The haters of one—and these weren't just people that were haters; these were people that hated him, that got him crucified. And he is hanging on a cross while they're gambling for his clothes below him, and what does he say? "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." That'd be a good prayer for a lot of people in your life.

When I sit down with people and start hearing their story and where the bitterness and the anger and the rage and the hatred comes from, if you'll just sit and listen to someone say, "Tell me about yourself. What happened?" then they're going to just, at some point, it comes out. And you start finding out that people have pain, they've got problems. These people had no idea what they were really doing, and Jesus, even dying on the cross for us, puts it out there and gives us an example: "Father, forgive them, they do not know what they do."

First Corinthians chapter four. This is Paul writing to this church body of believers in Corinth. He says in verse 11, "To the present hour we both hunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed, and beaten, and homeless. And we labor, working with our own hands."

Then he goes into this explanation. "Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure; being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things until now. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing." It's part of the deal. The book says marvel not that the world hates you.

Guest (Male): Richard will be back in a moment to wrap up today's talk. But first, I want to share a couple thoughts with you. Let's be honest: real life isn't about living some highlight reel for others to see. Most people have deep hurts, questions, and struggles. We get it and want to help you in any way we can.

Keep this conversation going. Give us a call at 855-6-RICHARD or connect with us at our website, richardellis.com. You can even put in your prayer request right there on the prayer wall so others can pray for you as well. Call us at 855-6-RICHARD or online at richardellis.com. And now, let's get back to Richard with a final word on today's show.

Richard Ellis: John 15:18: "If the world hates you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." And then John 17:14: "I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world."

It's part of the deal. Don't be doing things to make people hate you, but be prepared when it happens. Try something different. Start to pray for these people and see what God can do. Because the odds are whoever these people are that are hating on you have got nobody. They have alienated everybody. What if it doesn't go well? That's not your problem. Let God do his deal and let God change you in the process as you respond differently to these people who are hating on you by loving on them instead of hating on them in return.

Guest (Male): You've been listening to Richard Ellis Talks. We really appreciate that you spent this time with us, but we want to keep the conversation going with you. Give us a call anytime at 855-6-RICHARD. That's 855-6-RICHARD. Or through our website, richardellis.com, by sending an email to us so we can stay connected with you.

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