Richard Ellis Talks

Richard Ellis: It is very important that you get over it, whatever it is, so that you can be used of God. Because your clock is ticking. There is no way to put a plug in your hourglass. You can't reach in there and go, "I'll just stick a plug in there and stop time and then I'll deal with it my way." It keeps falling and you don't know how much time you got left. Let God use your life. Get over it.

Announcer: Welcome to Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. So many of you have shared how important this program is to you and how Richard's messages have impacted your life. We also know that there are many others who have positively influenced your life and how to be a better Christ follower.

We are devoting this entire month to celebrate and give honor to those in our life who have made a great impact and how we want to do the same in the lives of others. So we're introducing a new feature on our website to help you share that story. More on that later, but for now with today's talk, here's Richard Ellis.

Richard Ellis: The title of today's message is "Get Over It." Now, I'm going to tell you where we're going and where we're going to end up because it's not going to be fun for everybody. Now why wouldn't I be a little more gentle and then punch in the nose? Because I just think it's more honest to be upfront.

When I said "get over it", I want you to think about what came to your mind. And what is it? What is your "it"? What is it that you hold on to and you refuse to get over? What is it that happened to you? You say, "Dude, you don't want to go there because you're lucky to have me listening to you. You don't want to go there. I didn't come here to stir all that up." So why would we go there to "it"?

Because "it" may steal the only life you have. There's stuff that can happen to you that can jack your whole life up. And it doesn't have to happen when you're a little kid, it can happen midstream. And whatever "it" is, it can shut you down and you say, "You know what, if there's a God and there's a God that allowed this to happen to me, then you can have Him."

And yet you are still listening. You are still listening. Because you got nowhere else to take your "it". Because everything you're dealing with, everything you're doing to process "it", is killing you. So easy someone stands up and says, "Dude, get over it." And you go, "Wow, easy for you to say. You don't know what my 'it' is." But what is your "it" doing to the only life you've got? Find Job. While you're finding Job 1, let me read you some quotes.

Woody Allen said this—he's a brilliant theologian too—but listen to what he said. "Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering and it's all over much too soon." Maya Angelou: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." And Jonathan Lockwood Huie says, "Get over it. Life isn't supposed to be fair. Get over yourself and be of service to others."

Now see here's what happens. Before we get to Job here. Whatever it is that has happened to you, whatever this heinous, whatever this thing that you have done—see if I start going into stuff you've done, you say, "No one did this to me. I perpetrated something on someone else. I made a choice and I will never... it's not God's problem, it's my problem. I will never forgive myself for cheating on my wife. I will never forget myself for cheating on my husband. I will never forgive myself for sexually abusing my children." And then the list goes on. You say, "There's no way, even if God would forgive me, I will not forgive myself because it's too heinous. I don't deserve mercy."

And I say, "Dude, you gotta get over it." You say, "No, I am not going to get over it." The problem is if you don't get over it, it's not just your life that you lock up. Because see the way this messy planet works is God put two people down here, they screwed it all up for all of us and yet Jesus shows up, dies on a cross, buried, raised from the dead, corrects it for everyone before Him that believes and everyone when He's there that believes and everyone after Him—us—that believes.

And so it is a mess. You're not getting away from mess. And you are surrounded with human beings—myself included—who continually do things, we make mistakes, we make premeditated mistakes, and generate more mess. And somehow God reaches down in that mess and pulls you out and says, "I pick you, I choose you. I know what you've done, I even know what you're gonna do. I pick you anyway. I need you. Because you're going to be my hands, my feet, my eyes, my ears, my lips. You're going to speak and live my life in and through you in such a way that when I need you to touch someone's life who has been touched by sin and thinks there is no hope, because you are so screwed up, your story of hope will give them hope and then they'll get to Me. Are you in? Are you willing?"

And I know if you lock up, it's not just your life that's going to be messed up. It's that God needs you out there trying to reach a world who is in the same kind of pain but they don't know what to do with it. And they'll stick a gun in their mouth and pull a trigger because they can't take it anymore. They can't get over it, whatever it is. And death, suicide is better than trying to keep going.

You say, "Well, I don't want to think about all this, man. I just want to have joy and be happy." Well, I'm cool with that. But sooner or later even with your joy and happiness, you have to put your foot on the clutch, put it in a gear, and realize that you are in the game. And I know certain people who can stand up in front of a crowd and share their stuff.

I know other people who only if the Holy Spirit Himself touches them and says, "Now", in the privacy of a moment, one woman with another woman, one man with another man, and they'll say, "Okay Lord, I'll tell my story. I don't want to think about this, I don't want to go there anymore. But I know you are telling me to tell Your story, my story, our story so this person realizes that they're not as far gone as they think."

So it is very important that you get over it, whatever it is, so that you can be used of God. Because your clock is ticking, the sand is falling. There is no way to put a plug in your hourglass. You can't reach in there and go, "I'll just stick a plug in there and stop time and then I'll deal with it my way." It keeps falling, it keeps coming, and you don't know how much time you got left. Let God use your life. Get over it.

Now am I saying that we can say a little prayer over you here and it all go away? Until the day some of you die, you will be dealing with it. Because it'll come up in your marriage, it will come up in your family with your kids, on the job, with friends, complete strangers. You drive by places. There are people here who can't even drive by hotels without having memories of it. Can't drive through certain neighborhoods without having those flashbacks. And it's like the enemy just keeps trying to beat your brains in with it. And yet there's hope. You can drive another way. You can take another path.

Now this guy Job, I go back to him a lot because he's the most extreme "it" almost that I can find in the Bible. This guy Job is picked because he's a godly man. And on a given day—let's just jump through this down to verse 20—Job 1:20. On a given day, he finds out his kids are all dead. He's lost everything. And he says: "Job arose, tore his robe, shaved his head, fell to the ground and he worshipped."

Now, that appears to be getting over it immediately. You say, "How could anybody get over finding out they've lost everything?" What he had not lost yet, I don't believe at this point, is his health. Then God gave the enemy the freedom to come after him and he's covered from head to toe with boils. But at this point, look what he said. "And he said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.' In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong."

Now you say, "Well, I've done that. I have shaken my fist and cussed God out, given Him the bird, double-barrel birds. I've done everything I can to let God know how I feel and how angry I am that He let this happen." And did that fix it? And is being angry and stirred up and bitter and hard-hearted and stiff-necked and all that just rocking your world? And then just living that way—it's going to drive you in the ground. You've got to get over it.

And you say, "Well, I can't get over it." Then get some friends around you, get some help. If you had medical issues, you'd find some expert somewhere and say, "Help me with these medical issues." If you've got emotional issues, get experts. You got some mental challenges, you got issues, what do you think this whole discipleship thing is about? Jesus told these 12 guys, "Follow Me." That wasn't just to teach them little principles. He was teaching them how to live life.

And then He had to deal with all their junk. And we only have a fraction of what happened with Jesus and those 12 men. Lots of conversation, lots of time, working through their stuff. And even after three years night and day almost with Him, they still were idiots. But get some help. Sit down and talk to somebody.

Now without getting too personal here, I have spent years in conversation with a girl in our church working through its. And now what's happened is that woman has gotten healthier than she's ever been and as it turns out, she swings by my house on a Sunday morning and picks up my daughter and pours into her life. How you gonna pay for that? Somebody helping my kid avoid some pain, some challenge.

You say, "I'm still hurting." Then get some help. So you can be helping somebody else's kid. Because we all want the best for our kids. But sometimes you can't be the one to talk to your kid. Sometimes God sends a man to disciple your son, a woman to disciple your daughter. Someone comes along and says, "I'll help. They don't need to go where I've gone, they don't need to go through what I've gone through. I'll help steer, I'll help love on them, I'll stand in the gap."

You say, "But I've lost too much, I don't want to do that. I don't want to help anybody. I don't even want help myself. I just want to be angry. I just want to hate. Will you leave me alone for Christ's sake? Not even for His sake, for my sake, leave me alone. Go away. Stop trying to help people. Let us be angry, let us be bitter, let us be alcoholics, let us be drug addicts, let us be greedy, let us be whatever we want to be. Don't make us or even try to make us help us change. We don't want to change." Yes you do or you wouldn't be listening still.

Go to Psalm 73. The Bible's full of examples. For some reason this is kind of a middle of the road one that maybe more people can relate to. I recommend reading the Psalms. A lot of really down-to-earth, heart stuff that gets written down just where somebody is. And the Psalmist here—73:1—he said: "Truly God is good to Israel—to such as are pure in heart." Still good. "But as for me"—and then he goes into his issue—"my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the boastful when I saw the prosperity of the wicked."

Now this is what hits a few people. You're driving around your old car because somebody told you should be out of debt, so you can't go buy the new Camaro like you want to. So you drive around your old clunker and somebody comes whizzing by you in their bad-you-know-what car and you're not happy for them. You're like, "Well, who do they think... oh, they can't... that must be an evil person. Evil person." And you're wagging your old God finger at them like they did something wrong.

You say, "Well, I bet they are. Let's talk to them." And then you find out they're an evil person. And you say, "See, I told you. Why are you jealous of evil people in the first place?" All that reflects is a desire on your part to be evil or you wouldn't be judging them. "Well, I wish I had what they had. It's not fair. I don't want to be righteous. I want to be evil like them and have what they have. Because if I have to be righteous and God's teaching me something and I'm poor and just trying to, you know, be content. Who wants to be content anyway? What is up with that? I don't want to be content. I want to have a bunch of stuff, right? With food and clothing be content." That's not enough. I want more.

So I see someone with more and I go, "See, there's that guy." And look what he says. "I was envious of the boastful when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no pangs in their death—they just seem to die peacefully—but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride serves as their necklace—the things we're supposed to despise seem to be what they wear—violence covers them like a garment. Their eyes bulge with abundance.

I love these pictures. They have more than heart could wish. They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression. They speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens and their tongue walks through the earth. You see these people on TV sometimes. They're just like slinging it. And "Oh, God's going to get them." And all you're saying is "I wish I had that Rolls Royce" is what you're saying.

Therefore his people return here and waters of a full cup are drained by them. And they say, "How does God know? And is there knowledge in the Most High?" Behold, these are the ungodly who are always at ease. They increase in riches. Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain. I've wasted my time trying to be a righteous person because look how they live and nothing bad happens to them. You give your life to Jesus and all hell breaks loose, right? What's up with that? How about giving me a break for the first 20 years, just ease into it.

I've cleansed my heart in vain and washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been plagued and chastened every morning. If I had said, "I will speak thus", behold I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me. Until what? Until I went into the sanctuary of God.

Now in the Old Testament the sanctuary was a place. As a Christian the sanctuary is also a place. It's right inside here. God lives in me. So now when some crazy person on TV says, "You need to get in touch with the God within you." If there is no God but you in you, you do not need to get in touch with that person. That person is creating a lot of problems for you. You have to let God get in you first before you can get in touch with God within you. And He ain't going to kick the door down. That is something you unlock and let in and He comes in and then you've got a relationship.

So this picture of worship: "I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end." It's so revealing. When you're out there going, "You know what? I got these issues with all these people" and you're wagging your finger judgmentally, which just reveals that you want their life. When you finally go talk to God about it, it's not that you find out He's going to squash them like a bug and it's all going to be great.

You find out what's really going on and that they have pain too and it's not going to be okay. And then the mercy kicks in and you start going, "Okay God, these people look like everything's okay, but it's not okay. And they're in pain." They act like they're just riding smooth, everything goes great, but deep down inside, if you are empty, it doesn't matter how much you surround yourself, you will never fill that emptiness.

Then I understood their end. Surely You set them in slippery places. You cast them down to destruction. Oh, how they are brought to desolation as in a moment. They are utterly consumed with terrors. As a dream when one awakes, so Lord, when You awake, You shall despise their image. Thus my heart was grieved and I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant. I was like a beast before You. Nevertheless I am continually with You. You hold me by my right hand.

When's the last time you grabbed somebody's hand? My girls—every once in a while it's the coolest thing in the world still. I'll be walking down somewhere and they'll put their arm through my arm and I'll grab their little hand like that. They're grown girls. Or they'll grab my hand in public somewhere. You know what? You grab my hand, I'm going to take care of you. I got you.

And I grew up with a six-foot-nine daddy. You know everybody said, "My daddy's bigger than your dad." No he isn't. Never was anybody bigger than my dad. So I grab my daddy's hand. I had some fears about my dad, I knew he could hurt me, but I knew if he was on my side, nobody's messing with me.

So now listen to what the Psalmist, when he finally comes back from his foolishness and ignorant rantings: I'm continually with You. These people got nothing. You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.

Now that's somebody who's gotten over it. You say, "But okay, I hear what you're saying. It makes a little sense. I'm still not yielding." And how is that working out for you? And what is it going to accomplish? What has it done for you so far? What is it doing today and how will that work the rest of your life? You've got to release this somewhere.

And you say, "Well, I'm a Christian and I'm not going to release." You'll still end up in heaven, you're just going to lose the only life you're ever going to get. You say, "Well, I think I might come back. Maybe I believe in reincarnation, I'm going to come back." If you ever got back, if there was such a thing, you'd be a toad or something because you're all bitter. You're probably not coming back in anything better. So even that wouldn't work out for you.

Where's the joy? Where's the peace? You say, "Well, someone came and took that from me." Then get it back. You say, "I don't know where to get that." Old songs that I grew up with: "On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame. But I love that old cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross."

You say, "You're getting all stirred up again." Yeah, because I got nowhere else to go and I burned up enough of my life already being bitter and angry. In the last few days I had an encounter with a man who has impacted my family in some terrible ways and I've tried to avoid that man. And I found myself face-to-face with this man and had to shake his hand and make a decision that I was either going to avoid this man and be angry the rest of my life or get over it. Now am I completely over it? No. But I'm doing better because it's not going to do me any good to hate him the rest of my life.

Romans chapter 8—and there's some good verses, all of them are pretty good—but let's start with verse 27. And he says this: "Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God"—talking about the Holy Spirit. And then these phrases—and some of you grown up with this your whole life and some of you've never heard this in your life—but read this: "And we know"—now who is the "we"? It's believers. If you're not a Christian, this isn't going to make any sense.

But as a Christian what you're supposed to know and if you don't know, I'm going to tell you the family secret, as someone called it one time. This is a family secret: we know what? "That all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Now, I don't care if you can quote it and tell me where it is, is it working for you?

Now does that Bible say that we know that all things are good? That's not what it says. What does it say? "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." So you look at a situation and go, "God, this isn't good." He goes, "Yeah, you're right. But watch this. I'm going to take this mess, even that you got yourself into, because of our family secret, I will turn this for good. Are you in? Can you get over it? Are you willing to trust Me?"

And see one of the ways I try to explain this to people is if you were to come to God and you said, "Lord God, look, You don't understand. All I've got is this pile of that. Manure. This is all I got. This is what I have to show for my life. I got a pile of manure. You want that?" He goes, "Give Me something." "Okay, here's all my you-know-what." And He goes, "Watch this." As it turns out, the most fertile soil on the planet is your pile of you-know-what.

And He takes His little seed and shoves His Son down in this old planet and our pile of you-know-what and says, "Watch this." And something happens in that pile of crap and that seed changes and you because you had enough faith to believe that God could take your junk, your waste, and do something with it, then something beautiful blossoms out of that mess. And now I get to be in the process of helping somebody else get there.

Ephesians chapter 4, verse 30. Now, let me tell you what's going on in here and years from now, if anybody's listening to this, wherever you are, something about the scriptures that is timeless. If you're still listening and you're still paying attention, then the Holy Spirit of God is trying to do something. And He is trying to move through your head and your heart and shake some things up and get you to let go of some stuff, okay? What you don't want to do is grieve Him or quench Him. You don't want to put that fire out.

He is down there striking rocks against rocks, sparking, trying to get a fire going in you or kindle this thing again and you throw water on it with your cold heart and it goes out. You don't want to do that. Ephesians chapter 4, verse 30: "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness"—you got bitterness? All bitterness. "Wrath"—you got wrath? You say, "I don't know if I got wrath." The next one's anger, that ought to cover anything you got.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. Put it all away and do what? "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." That's all. Just forgive as God in Christ forgave you. You say, "That's impossible." You know what? I actually agree with you. That's impossible.

You're not going to do that without Him. And when I meet a man or a woman and I hear their story and I sit with them when this happens and I say, "Okay, you gonna let this go? You're willing to get over this?" And they go, "Yeah, I can't carry this anymore." And watch young people, grown men and women, old men and women finally let go and say, "Okay God, I forgive. I get how You've forgiven me. I will forgive, I'll be merciful. I need mercy, I'll give mercy." And I'm telling you something, it is seeing somebody set free.

And I'll just read you this out of Philippians chapter 3 where Paul says in verse 13: "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended. I haven't arrived yet. But one thing I do—one thing I do—forgetting those things which are behind, reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Let it go. Get over it. It's not worth it. They're not worth it, no matter what it is.

Announcer: Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to listen to Richard Ellis Talks. We know these programs encourage and inspire you because we hear from so many of people about them. Richard has such a unique way of speaking right to the heart because it always comes straight from his own heart.

And maybe there are others who have greatly impacted your life as well. So who is it in your life that was a great example as a Christ follower? Possibly a parent, a grandparent, a friend, pastor, neighbor, coworker? Well, we have just the place where you can share this story. There's a brand new feature on our website called a Legacy Wall where you can tell us who made a huge difference in your life in your growth as a Christ follower.

And this same inspiration is what you want to make sure gets passed on from you in leaving a legacy too. If it's important to you, it's worth sharing. So let me encourage you to go to our website, RichardEllis.com and share that story. We'd love to hear it and it would inspire others as well. That's RichardEllis.com and share that story.

Finally, these are challenging days for us and we really could use your help in a generous way. Please go to our website, RichardEllis.com and click on the contribute tab at the top to send us your very valued gift that will be used to continue reaching the hurting and lost. Again that's RichardEllis.com. You can also send us your gift by calling 855-6-RICHARD. 855-6-RICHARD.

I can't tell you just how much that will mean to so many people, including Richard. We need to hear from you today, RichardEllis.com. So until next time, thank you for listening, thank you for your generous gift, thank you for your faithfulness to this ministry and we'll see you again right here on Richard Ellis Talks.