Revive Our Hearts

Danna Gresh: There is a sentence that rings through the halls of the Gresh home like a legacy, but hardly one I'm proud of. Thankfully, when my now-adult children recall it, it is with laughter. It was Sunday morning. Why on God's fine earth are those the mornings your preschooler cannot find her left shoe, the dog has an accident, and your always dependable son sleeps in? Yes, it was one of those days.

Bob was in the kitchen throwing back a smoothie while he finished shaving, and the kids were still both upstairs. We had less than ten minutes to get to church on time, and that's when I said it. Now in my defense, I had already called for everyone three times. The kids, after all, hadn't eaten. I had Pop-Tarts ready to go. I heard a lot of movement upstairs, including what I think was a ball bouncing on my son's wall. "That's it!" I bellowed. "I'm going to count to sixty!"

The whole house went quiet, and then the laughter that never stopped began. The kids, though they have aged a few decades, are still giggling about that. All that to say this: young mom, one day you just may laugh about—dare I even say treasure—the memories of the joyful chaos unfolding in your home. But for today, I just want to get you through. Today, we're sharing three mercies for young moms: sufficient grace, biblical resources, and the testimonies of moms gone before you.

I'm your host, Danna Gresh. You're listening to Revive Our Hearts Weekend. First up, sufficient grace. Oh, how we need it for those moments you're tempted to count to sixty. To remind us how sufficient grace transforms motherhood, we've got the lovely Kristen Wetherell. Kristen is a pastor's wife, a mother of three, a writer, and a speaker. She's authored several books, including Humble Moms: How the Work of Christ Sustains the Work of Motherhood and What Makes You Beautiful: 20 Daily Devotions for Girls. Have you ever had a mom day where you wanted to zone out? Well, not too long ago, Kristen and I got to sit down and talk about that. Where do we turn in our exhaustion? Here's Kristen.

Kristen Wetherell: Jesus himself invites us in Matthew 11: "Come to me, you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Not, "Come to me if you think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get a happy face on first." No, it's "Come to me in the place that you're at." I think that is a beautiful invitation for weary moms.

Danna Gresh: It’s a beautiful invitation for weary moms, weary grandmas, weary dads, weary grandpas, weary single women. It's such a good invitation for all of us if you're feeling weary and tired today. Come to Jesus.

Kristen Wetherell: He has life, and he will give it abundantly. You asked what step one was for me. It is just acknowledging the place that I'm at before him and just praying through that. But then I think it's asking of him.

So many times in the Gospel of John, Jesus tells his disciples to ask. If you ask in accordance with my will, you are going to receive. You're going to have this life that I have to give to you. I often wonder how often I don't come to Jesus with my need because I somehow don't really believe that he can fill it. I somehow don't really trust that he's good in some way, or that he is life and that he imparts life to us.

I've been really convicted about that, actually. How often I end up scrounging around searching for life in other things that are not inherently bad. Getting a nap on my couch is a good gift from God. But if I'm looking to that nap to supply some kind of deep soul satisfaction that only Jesus can, I'm not turning to the right thing in my weariness.

Danna Gresh: What are some other things we turn to in our exhaustion as mothers that might be an indicator for us to be like, "Am I receiving that as a good gift, or am I relying on that and believing in that the way I should be believing in Christ?"

Kristen Wetherell: A huge one for me is control. If naptime activities don't go the way that I would like them to go on my timetable, the fruit of that is evident that I'm probably idolizing control because it just makes me angry. Rather than saying, like Jesus did so beautifully before his Father, "I have come to do the Father's will. My food is to do the will of the one who sent me."

That would be so freeing to just say, "Okay God, you are sovereign. You know this day even better than I do, and you've planned it. So I can trust you in this moment when it's not going according to my plan." But I think that I tend to control things, and I've been very convicted of that.

Another is means of escape, like entertainment. I think entertainment is probably the biggest one. Maybe for some women, it's food or some other pleasure that we can take enjoyment in. Again, in themselves, these are not evil things. They're good gifts from God. But do I turn to social media, do I turn to email, or the work that I'm doing, or Netflix as a means of trying to forget or not be Mom in this moment, even though your job never ends? I think that's the difference.

Danna Gresh: Okay, so I've acknowledged where I am. I've asked him for help. What's next? He shows up and everything's fine?

Kristen Wetherell: Wouldn't that be wonderful? "Come, Lord Jesus." I also pray that prayer often. That would be glorious to see him come soon. I'm going back to this morning. I'm on my walk, I'm praying. Jesus connects our coming to him and our love for him with our obedience.

He says in John 14:15, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." So then I have to ask myself, by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me, what does it look like to obey my Lord Jesus right now? That's going to look different in every situation that you're in.

In that moment for me, it was to care for my children, to enjoy their presence, to be present, not flip out my phone and start looking at my text messages or trying to escape, but being present with my children in faithfulness to what Jesus is calling me to do in that moment with them. I think included in that is an acknowledgment that God sees. He's not far off, but he sees our obedience and he's pleased by it.

Danna Gresh: So true. In fact, so pleased, you know what comes after John 14:15? "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." This is one of my favorite passages in scripture. Jesus says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Then he says, "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another helper to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells in you and will be in you." What a gift! What a tradeoff for obedience, right?

Okay, so let me play the devil's advocate and imagine that there might be—I'm not saying there is, but there could be potentially—a mom listening who didn't joyfully obey the Lord in one of those mundane moments of motherhood. What then? What happens then?

Kristen Wetherell: Well, that's also me, just so every mom who's listening knows. I think it's all of us, because even our best desires and attempts for obedience are laced with sin. We are not yet in glory, and our hearts have not yet been perfected. Not one of us is walking around perfectly obeying Jesus. We need to acknowledge that as well.

But this is me also all the time, because I don't always joyfully obey the Lord. I instead get upset with the situation that my kids are not doing what I wanted them to do, and I yell at them and sin against them and against God. So for that moment, for the angry blow-up, what is the hope that we have? How does Jesus draw near to us and serve us in that moment?

We see that this is precisely why he came. He didn't come, as he said, to heal the healthy but to heal the sick. He came for sinners. What he means by that is he came for those who acknowledge their need of him. In that moment, I think that I can cling to the cross and to the victorious resurrection of Christ, in which he not only forgives all of my sin but covers me with his perfect obedience. In that moment when I did not obey or my obedience was laced with selfishness, Christ's record is still mine. He gives me that beautiful gift. So I am free to continue pursuing joyful obedience. It's just a beautiful gift that he gives to us.

Danna Gresh: Praise God for this good news. Even on the hardest days of motherhood, the ones where you really fall short, Kristen Wetherell says God's grace is sufficient for you.

Okay, on to today's second mercy for young moms, and this is biblical resources: the books and creative tools that help us shepherd our little ones toward Jesus. My dear friend Aaron Davis sat down with Laura Whiffler and Hunter Beless to talk about catechizing their kids. These young moms shared some awesome resource suggestions along the way.

Now, for those of you who don't know these friends, Laura Whiffler is an award-winning author, podcaster, and poet. She's written several children's books, including Your Worth Never Wavers and Any Time, Any Place, Any Prayer. Hunter Beless is also a podcaster and author, and she's the founder of Journeywomen Ministries. She's written several children's books as well, including Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It and Amy Carmichael: The Brown-Eyed Girl Who Learned to Pray. Let's join them as they share with Aaron.

Aaron Davis: Something I've noticed about young moms and moms with young kids—now, I have a toddler, but I'm the old mom at the park. I'm not a young mom. But anyway, there is this renewed interest in catechizing our kids, which is not a new idea. In fact, it's a very old idea. I wanted to talk about it in this episode. Either of you can take this ball. What does it mean to catechize our children or ourselves or our women's discipleship group? I'd love to hear the ways that you guys have done this. Laura, you want to pick it up first?

Laura Whiffler: Sure. Catechizing is simply teaching your children the truths of God. It's usually a call and response or a question and an answer where we ask a question like, "Who made you?" or "Why did God make you?"—different simple questions that really just teach your children truths.

Just a quick story: my youngest daughter is almost five. She has disabilities and, in our family, we had been working through many different catechisms. I was mainly working with my older two children because my youngest is not as verbal and is delayed overall. One day, I said to my kids, kind of like in review because this was basic, I just said, "Who made you?" My youngest daughter, who doesn't hardly speak very much, just goes, "God!" and just yelled it out.

I just lost it because I thought, "This is a truth that I don't know when it was planted in her heart because this was the first time she had articulated it for us." But I just thought, "Oh, baby, I'm so glad you know this. I want you to know this." I pray that even for my other children who are regularly developing, that as they grow up and someone says, "You're not very smart," or "You're not beautiful," or "You're not good," whatever it may be—probably much harsher than that—that they remember, "No, God made me."

Some of those catechizing type things are what really implant truths from the Bible and they give us language to be able to rebut lies, to be able to fight Satan, to just speak truth to our hearts and to other people. I have really enjoyed catechizing my children. I haven't done it maybe as much as I've wanted to or felt like I should, but I think when we take time to do those things, they come out of us in moments when we need them the most.

Aaron Davis: That is so good. I have four sons. I think they probably all have a different approach to learning. They probably learn each one in a different unique way and certainly at a different pace. So there's not a one-and-done approach to implanting these things in my children's hearts.

One of them is an auditory learner. He needs to hear it. He likes to listen to the Bible. One of my sons is a kinesthetic learner. He's going to need to write it or sculpt it. One of them cannot sit still for any given amount of time. So we're going to have to find some way to do it while that dude is on the move. We love Songs for Saplings, which is some music you can find on YouTube. It's straight scripture, and we're playing it a lot. Hunter, anything you want to add to this idea of catechizing our children?

Hunter Beless: Yeah, I think Laura put it so beautifully. It really is summarizations of what scripture teaches on a particular topic. This ties in really well with scripture memory. I think you're just giving them doctrinal statements. They don't know that word, but you're teaching them: "What does the whole Bible say about who made me?"

These are wonderful things, like Laura said, in that moment of need, I think the Holy Spirit is able to bring those truths to mind to help them employ them in times they need them most. It's a lot like scripture memory, but you're just taking all the verses about one particular topic and giving them a little blip about what the Bible says about this.

There are so many wonderful helps out there, particularly in relation to singing. We love Ask Me Who, that's one of the CDs that we listen to whenever they're really young. New City Catechism is another great resource. Certainly, I want to be doing this more as well because this isn't something that I grew up with. I am really helped by it and refreshed by it as a mother myself. It's such a great practice for mothers who may not have time to be studying a systematic theology text to just bust out the New City Catechism app, set it on the kids' section, and to be also refreshing our own hearts and minds with the truths about God's word and who he is as we spend time together with our children.

Aaron Davis: I've so found that to be true. Listen, ain't no mama got time for a systematic theology text. So we've got to find some other way. I'm refreshed, you're right. I enjoy that time with my kids. I enjoy that learning together.

I think that's a big idea of everything you're saying. Just make it fun! Enjoy it. It's supposed to be enjoyable, this opportunity we get to disciple our children. I've been soaking this whole year in Psalm 92, which is all about delight. Praising God is good for us, singing is good for us. What I'm finding is that when I delight in my kids, they delight in me. When I delight in God's word, it's something that I want to reach for. It's not a drudgery. The big idea of everything you're saying is just make it fun.

Danna Gresh: What a fun conversation that was. Just head to today's transcript at reviveourhearts.com/weekend to find links to Laura and Hunter's children's books. You're going to love those, and I think your kids will too. Let's get those little ones catechized! Let's praise the Lord for the Gospel-rich resources that help us do just that.

All right, our third and final mercy for the young mom is the testimonies of moms gone before us. These testimonies remind us that we're not alone on this mom journey of ours. Other moms have navigated the same challenges, cried out to the same God, and discovered the same mercy that is available to you.

I had the privilege of meeting a young mom named Tracy Lane not too long ago. She's a writer for FamilyLife Today and a mother with a riveting story of surrender. I think her testimony is going to encourage you deeply to press on in the good, hard work of motherhood. Tracy, if you don't mind, I'm going to dive right in with a really sensitive question. When I read your riveting story the other day, I actually thought of Pharaoh's order to have the Jewish baby boys killed in Egypt because he thought those babies had no value.

When I read your story, there were doctors who felt the baby you carried in your womb about eight years ago had no value. What did those doctors see and what did they recommend when you were carrying Annie?

Tracy Lane: Yes, the doctors didn't think she mattered. At our twenty-week ultrasound, they told us that our second baby was going to be a girl, which I was so thrilled about. I wanted to have another little girl. The only problem was that baby had only half of her heart.

They told us that once she was outside of my womb, she would be incompatible with life and that we should, as the doctor said, "go ahead and take care of that today." So he did tell us it wouldn't be worth carrying her. He said, "I wouldn't want to experience what you were going to have to experience," and that is what he recommended—to terminate the pregnancy.

Danna Gresh: Not many women have to hear words like that. I'm hearing the juxtaposition of the joy that you're having the girl that you dreamed of and the horror with a doctor suggesting that you abort that precious girl. You chose life. I want to know, what has life with Annie been like?

Tracy Lane: Yes, we did choose life and it was absolutely the right decision. It's been challenging. There have been a lot of very scary moments. She's had three open-heart surgeries. We actually had to move our family across the country to be closer to the care that she needed.

We could say Annie's health has dictated so many things in our lives, but we can see that it's really what God has used to guide us to where he has us and to give us the story of his grace and his strength. So Annie is such a joy.

Danna Gresh: Fast forward to 2020. What a year! We're at the height of the pandemic, and you're pregnant again. Was there apprehension about that baby's heart, and how did it turn out?

Tracy Lane: Yes, it was a huge act of surrender to God that we could trust the size of our family and the health of our family to him. So we got pregnant with our third, and they scheduled an ultrasound at twenty weeks looking at his heart because of Annie's heart. I've been in those rooms enough times to know when something isn't going right. So I wasn't sure what it was, but I understood that it wasn't going to be good. He said, "I don't even know how to tell this to a mother like you, but your son has Spina Bifida."

Danna Gresh: So again, were you faced with a decision? I mean, knowing your heart, you didn't have a decision, but did the doctors also make a recommendation that time?

Tracy Lane: He did. He told us that Davis likely would never walk, that he would likely be significantly cognitively impaired. Of course, his first recommendation for what he calls treatment was to terminate.

It's interesting because with Annie in that room, when the doctor suggested it, I was the first one with an immediate "no." I was carrying her, I could feel her kicking. This time with Davis, it was like I felt like I didn't have the fight anymore. But thankfully, Matt still did, and he was the immediate "no, that's not an option for us." Of course, I agreed with him. I would want nothing else. But I didn't have the strength to say it at that time, and God gave it to him. So it was actually a really sweet journey for our marriage too, to just be able to see what God would give each of us during each different day parenting these two children plus Audrey, who's our healthy child. He really has just given us what we needed every moment of every day.

Danna Gresh: I love how you see the treasures in the surrender. How's that sweet baby doing? What's his health journey been like?

Tracy Lane: I cannot imagine life without him. He really does complete our family. The day he was born, he was born at the children's hospital. He spent a week there. But when he was born, I didn't get to meet him. He went straight into the hands of a neurosurgeon to remove the big bubble on his back, and that was a very difficult day for us. I didn't even see him before the surgeon did. I met him later that night.

But God has just healed him so much. His prognosis at this point is very, very positive, which is just fun! Yes, it's so fun. Surrender is hard. I think it's fair to say that, and that's a big part of encouragement I would give. Sometimes in the faith community, we want it to seem really easy, like if we just trusted more or if we just prayed harder.

Really surrendering what we want and our dreams for our life is very difficult. But I think it's important to remember who you're surrendering to. At times, I felt like I was having to surrender to different diagnoses for my kids, but that's really not what I was surrendering to. When we surrender, we're surrendering to a good God. He cares about us and he knows what we need.

If I keep that in the forefront—again, surrender is never easy—but if I keep that in the forefront, it makes the surrender worth it. I'm not alone in the surrender. I have that good God asking me to surrender, walking with me through the surrender. We can trust him.

Danna Gresh: What a testimony from Tracy Lane. Talk about learning to surrender on the hot pavement of life. Maybe God's asking you to do the same thing today. If that's true, I hope Tracy's testimony fills you with courage. Surrender is hard, but never impossible because the one we surrender to is so, so good. When we are afraid, we can put our trust in him.

If you'd like to see Tracy tell her story, you can do that. This interview was originally shared via videocast. We'll link to that in today's transcript at reviveourhearts.com. You heard from quite a few women in ministry today, those who pour themselves out through writing and speaking and sharing their stories so that women can know Christ more deeply.

This is good and joy-filled work, but it can also lead to weariness. They need encouragement too. Do you have a heart for them? Would you be interested in partnering with us to serve women's ministry leaders in your area? If so, the Revive Our Hearts Ambassador program is for you. Ambassadors help local leaders press on in the vital work of women's ministry. They're cheerleaders who pray, encourage, and equip. To learn more about how to get involved, visit reviveourhearts.com/ambassadors. We'd love to hear from you.

This podcast, the Ambassador program, all of the out-reaches here at Revive Our Hearts are possible because listeners give. If this ministry has been a blessing to you and you'd like to make a donation, you can do that at reviveourhearts.com. When you do, we'd love to send you our brand new book, Finding Beauty in Every Season. 30 days of stunning nature imagery paired with encouragement drawn from Nancy's teaching. It's a gentle daily reminder that in every chapter of your story, God is writing something beautiful. Again, you can donate at reviveourhearts.com. Be sure to request your photo book when you do.

Well, today may have been for the young moms, but we see you older mamas. Don't worry, we've got a weekend program coming for you. We'll talk about raising teens with two words: courage and compassion. Next weekend, I hope you'll come back for that. Thanks for listening today. I'm Danna Gresh. We'll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.