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Devotionals by Dave and Ann Wilson

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Suck It Up, Buttercup
By Lisa Lakey

I’m learning (slowly) to be a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. But to be completely honest, I’m a bit of a control freak.

I like things to go as planned (by me). Spontaneity has always been a four-letter word. Asking for help is hard, because that means relying on someone else to come through. And what if they don’t?

The struggle is real.

There are two areas where this less-than-admirable trait has been the biggest challenge: my marriage and my faith.

Both require me to trust someone else wholeheartedly and to not demand my way.

God knows all too well my struggle with trusting Him. Yet one of the most effective areas of life He has used to push and prod me toward trusting Him more fully is in my marriage.

I have to trust my husband for our marriage to work well. I’m learning to better trust him in the small things, like handing over the stack of bills to be paid when I’m sick or taking the kids to a doctor’s appointment. And I’m relying on my faith in God for the bigger things, like trusting my husband has our family’s best interest at heart when making a decision I can’t fully see the outcome of.

Trust in marriage requires faith. Faith in my husband and faith in my God.

And it requires letting go. Letting go of thinking my way is the best and only way. Letting go of control and taking his hand. And His hand.

When I act like a control freak, I’m short-changing my husband’s ability to handle things and showing him I don’t have confidence in him. I don’t want that.

Sometimes, I have to tell myself, “Suck it up, Buttercup,” and remember that in a relatively safe and healthy marriage, it’s okay to have faith in someone other than myself.

Listen to Crawford Loritts remind us that Abraham-like faith doesn’t deny the reality of your circumstances, but trusts God in spite of them.

The Good Stuff: Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Action Points: Letting go of control and learning to trust are no easy tasks. But they speak volumes of our faith. Is there an area where you are specifically having trouble trusting God? Tell Him about it. He is willing and ready to help you shoulder this burden. And He is worthy of your trust.

I Do Every Day Let’s Go Vertical! prayer guide

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Real FamilyLife® is conversational in nature and provides practical, biblical tools to address the issues affecting your family. You'll receive motivation, encouragement, and help.


About Dave and Ann Wilson

Dave and Ann Wilson are co-hosts of FamilyLife Today©, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program.

Dave and Ann have been married for more than 40 years and have spent the last 35 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® since 1993, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.

Dave and Ann helped plant Kensington Community Church in Detroit, Michigan where they served together in ministry for more than three decades, wrapping up their time at Kensington in 2020.

The Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released books Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019) and No Perfect Parents (Zondervan, 2021).

Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame Quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as Chaplain for thirty-three years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active with Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small group leader, and mentor to countless women.

The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.

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