Devotionals by Dave and Ann Wilson
Why I Prefer Not to Wear a Cape
By Justin Talbert
When my dad’s birthday rolls around, he says the same thing.
“Don’t get me anything. I’ve got all I need. I know where Best Buy is!”
But then we have his grandkids make him a craft. And, like magic, those crafts take up prime real estate in his office by day’s end.
We know him too well to fall for the annual ruse. And he savors it.
Every human has the longing to be known. Paid attention to. To experience someone picking up on details we don’t even know about ourselves.
But we’re all distracted. These days, humans are giving and receiving less attention. We’re less likely to look beneath “I’ll go to Best Buy.”
Social media isn’t helping. But we can’t blame our phones.
It’s us.
How do you hit mute on everything else demanding your attention? How do you offer your spouse an unhurried heart, allowing them the full weight of your attention, where they come alive?
Two words: human finitude.
See, I attend to my wife best when I understand my limits most: “Yeah, I’m no superhero” is a healthy mindset. And it’s not just that a flapping cape would get caught in the car door.
God made you finite on purpose. You will never complete the to-do list. There’s never enough time in the day. Nor do you possess an infinite supply of attention. No, you’re working with a limited resource.
Painstakingly study your spouse. Acknowledge them. Have you missed a key detail? What is your spouse saying but not meaning (like my dad)?
How can you, today, let them know that you’ve (a) noticed them and that (b) you like what you see?
Read how one wife found to truly appreciate her husband, she had to practice empathy.
The Good Stuff: My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice. My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.” Song of Solomon 2:9-11
Action Points: Take a moment right now to ponder your spouse. What’s something ultra-specific you can compliment them on when you next see them? (It could be a character trait.)
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About Dave and Ann Wilson
Dave and Ann have been married for more than 40 years and have spent the last 35 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® since 1993, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.
Dave and Ann helped plant Kensington Community Church in Detroit, Michigan where they served together in ministry for more than three decades, wrapping up their time at Kensington in 2020.
The Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released books Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019) and No Perfect Parents (Zondervan, 2021).
Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame Quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as Chaplain for thirty-three years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active with Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small group leader, and mentor to countless women.
The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.
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