Practical Living

Dale O'Shields: Thank you for joining us for today's Practical Living broadcast. I pray that through this message that you will learn how to apply God's word and truths to any situation in your life. Stay with us as we discover God's truths that will transform us.

This afternoon, we're going to continue our series together entitled Life Quakes. If you have your Bibles, you can go ahead and turn to Luke chapter 10, as we talk about tackling stress and tension before it tackles you in this series called Life Quakes. This is the 16th message in the series. If you've missed any of these, I would really encourage you to go back and they're all online for you, available for you free of charge. Just go to our website or go to our MySU R app on your phone or your mobile device as we catch up with this and continue on in the series together.

Life Quakes is the title of the series. We're talking about things that shake up your life, events that happen to you that seem to kind of knock you off of equilibrium. They just sort of suddenly come into your life and they shake you up in some manner. Many times they happen suddenly, just things that just you didn't anticipate this was going to happen and there it is. You're dealing with a problem, a difficulty, a circumstance that's hard to handle.

Sometimes these things sort of sneak up on you in a very subtle way. It's not a massive storm just that comes in one big blow, but it sort of sneaks into your world and before you know it, your life's being shaken by it. Jesus talked about people experiencing the storms of life. In Matthew chapter 7, Jesus describes two men building houses. One man built his house on sand, the foundation of sand. Another man built his house on the foundation of rock.

The storms of life came to both men. Both of these individuals experienced the storms, the rain, the wind, and only one man's house survived, the man whose house was built on the rock. Jesus made it very clear that we as his followers need to build our lives on a solid foundation, the rock of his word, obedience to his word, and relationship with him.

One of those things that happened, an event that transpires in life that can really shake your foundation, is kind of a subtle thing that happens and it happens more than likely over a period of time, not all at once, is what we are calling or describing as stress and tension. When you go through stressful moments, you can be fractured by stress and tension can really work on you over a period of time and can really uproot your life in some manner.

I'm going to continue today talking about this concept of stress and tension, but our focus today primarily will be upon the word tension. I'll continue next weekend, Lord willing, and we're going to focus on stress. If you want to de-stress your life, make sure you're back next weekend. I'm going to help you with that. But today I want to help you with learning how to handle tension in your life. What does this word mean and how do we handle it?

There's a great story in the Bible in Luke chapter 10 verses 38 through 42 that describes a family that was filled with some tension. Let's read the story. Let me read it for you. Reading from the New International Version. As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me." Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, "You're worried and upset about many things. But few things are needed, or indeed, only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her."

Obviously, as you read this story, you're aware of the fact that there's a tension in this household. Jesus is in the house, he's there with them, but there's a tension between two sisters, Martha and Mary. We want to look at this tension that existed and a lesson that I want us all to learn today. One single lesson that I hope you will carry home with you today. If you're taking notes, I would encourage you to write it down. It's there on the back of your bulletin. You may want to write it there, find the other extensive notes available for us online. But the main lesson for today is to understand that tensions are realities in life and they must be managed well. They must be managed well.

Notice the word there, the keyword is managed, not resolved. You don't resolve tensions, you manage tensions. Let's start with a definition of tension. What is it? Let me give you a very technical definition of it. Then we'll break the technical definition down to something that's extremely practical for you. Here's the technical definition of tension. Read with me. Let's all read aloud and loudly.

Dale O'Shields: Tension is the strain...

Guest (Male): ...pull or...

Dale O'Shields: Is that all of you? Let's try that again, okay? Here we go. You ready? Tension is the strain...

Guest (Male): ...pull or pressure created when opposing forces, competing priorities, demands, responsibilities or realities, or conflicting desires exist at the same time.

Dale O'Shields: Let's go back and read it once again. Notice again, tension is, what is it? The strain...

Guest (Male): ...pull or pressure created when opposing forces, competing priorities, competing demands, responsibilities or realities, or conflicting desires exist when?

Dale O'Shields: At the same time. Now that's a real technical definition. Some of you are saying, "What? What does that even mean?" Let me tell you what it means. It means this. The practical definition of tension is anytime you experience two or more things that are demanding your attention or your focus at the same time, pulling at you.

Tension always lives in the realm of decision. Do I do this or do I do that? Do I handle this first or do I handle that first? So the tension is the pull of decision making in your life as you're trying to determine what's the right thing to do at the right time in the right way. So tension is seen right here with Martha and Mary in this story. One sister, Mary, has chosen to sit in the presence of Jesus. The other sister, Martha, has chosen to try to serve the guest well there in the presence of Jesus. So there's tension. Do I sit or do I serve? Both are very good things and both have their own value, but the question is, what do I do now? What's the right thing to do at the right moment and in the right way? Mary managed this tension the right way. Martha managed it the wrong way.

Let me set the scene for you here. Jesus is in the home of Martha and Mary. They had a brother by the name of Lazarus. He's famous out of John chapter 10, where he's raised from the dead. Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, a family. Jesus comes to their house in the village called Bethany. Bethany is just outside of Jerusalem, very close to Jerusalem. More than likely, Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem. It's a very special moment. I mean, anytime Jesus comes to your house, would you agree that's a special moment? So Jesus is sitting in the house, there in the house with Martha, Mary, and more than likely Lazarus would have been there as well. There were probably will never be another moment like this moment, with Jesus sitting right there in the house with them. Mary, evidently, she recognized the importance of this moment. She realized, "Wow, Jesus is in our house. The most important thing that I can do right now is to sit down and listen to him, just to simply be with him."

However, Martha focused on something else. She focused on things that really didn't matter in the moment. She was paying attention to the details of serving and hospitality. When Jesus recognized the tension there, I want you to notice again what Jesus said to Martha, found in verses 41 and 42. Let me bring you back to those just for a moment here. Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things. But few things are needed, or indeed, only one." Mary has, what's the next word there?

Guest (Male): Chosen.

Dale O'Shields: What is it?

Guest (Male): Chosen.

Dale O'Shields: Chosen. Remember how I told you the definition of tension? It's a choice that you make. You got two opposing things going on, you make a choice. Here Jesus says, "Mary, in facing this tension, do I sit or do I serve? Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." The New Living Translation gives it to us this way, "But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details. There's only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it. Mary found it. She chose it and it will not be taken away from her.'"

Here's Martha. She's irritated, she's anxious, she's distracted by all the things happening. She's frustrated. More than likely, it seems like she's angry at her sister because her sister was not helping her. She's making the wrong choice and Jesus wanted Martha to understand that the food preparation was insignificant in this moment. What Martha was doing is she was making something secondary primary. She was putting something that should have been in second place, she was putting it in first place. She had not managed the tension the right way, while Mary understood the opportunity.

Now, often times when you read this passage, I've had these thoughts myself, I've had other people ask me this question before. "Well, if Jesus rebuked Martha for serving, why didn't he rebuke Mary for not helping her?" I mean, it would seem like that Jesus would have been on Martha's side because, after all, Martha's doing all the work. So why would he not ask Mary to help? And of course, we see the story and the understanding of the story is that Jesus was there to teach, to spend intimate, wonderful time with this family that he loved dearly, to impart to them. And so Mary understood that while Martha didn't. And so Jesus was not undermining the principle or the power of the importance of serving. Serving is still important. It just wasn't important at that moment. It was important, but it was not the right thing to do at that time and she was even doing it the wrong way.

In fact, Jesus in his own teaching, in his own life, demonstrated that serving is important as well. In fact, in John chapter 13, as Jesus is facing the night before his crucifixion, he's in the upper room with the disciples. They're about to experience the last supper, the Passover meal there before he's going to be arrested and then the next day crucified. Jesus there with his disciples showed them what service was all about. He doesn't deny or undermine service. Look at this story. John 13 verse 1. "Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave the world and return to his Father. He had loved his disciples during his ministry on Earth, and now he loved them to the very end. It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So notice what he did. He got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to..."

Guest (Male): Wash.

Dale O'Shields: Wash the disciples' feet. He's serving. He's serving, drying them with the towel he had around them. And then in verse 12 through 15, we see how he brings this principle home to the disciples and to us as well. "After washing their feet, he put his robe again on his robe again and sat down and asked, 'Do you understand what I was doing?'" I just washed your feet. "You get it? Do you understand what I was doing? You call me teacher and Lord, and you're right because that's what I am. And since I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, I've served you. You ought to wash each other's feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you."

I want to draw a parallel or I should say juxtaposition here, two stories. Both of them happened in a house. Both of them happened around a meal. In one situation, Jesus rebuked Martha for serving when she should have been sitting. And now in the second story, Jesus with the disciples in the upper room, he rebukes the disciples for sitting while they should have been serving.

So in one situation, we've got Martha serving when she should have been sitting and Jesus rebukes her. The other category, the other tension is now Jesus rebukes the disciples for sitting when they should have been serving. So the story is not about whether it's right to sit or serve. The story is about how you manage the...

Guest (Male): Tension.

Dale O'Shields: Tension. Do I do the right thing at the right time in the right way? So please remember in life that many things in life are not a problem that you solve, they're tensions that you manage. So you manage tension in life. It's going to be a part of your life always. Our tendency is to ignore tension, to run from tension, to try to remove all the tension from our lives, and it's impossible to remove tension from your life, and it's actually detrimental to you to remove tension from your life because tension plays a very important role in your life. We need to value tension in our lives.

I want to lay out for you some of the real tensions that you face in your life right now. We all do. I'm going to give you 10 of these really, really quickly. I believe you can identify with each of these. We face, first of all, the tension between work and rest. Do I work or do I rest? How much do I work? How much do I need to rest? These are tension points. Is work good? Yes. Is rest good? Yes. So you balance the tension. Some people are workaholics, other people are playaholics. I describe it sometimes like this. Every person to be healthy, just like a car, you need an engine, but you also need some brakes. Some people, all they have is an engine. They're go, go, go, go, go all the time. Other people, all they are is a big set of brakes. They never do much of anything. And so to operate well in life, you need both. Your engine is going to run far more than your brakes will, but you need an engine in your life.

Jesus, or I should say Yahweh, Jehovah God, manifest, obviously, Jesus is our Jehovah. In Exodus chapter 20, in the 10 Commandments, we find this description given to us, an instruction in the 10 Commandments. You have six days each week for your ordinary, what's the next word there?

Guest (Male): Work.

Dale O'Shields: Work. For your regular work. Please remember, work is important to you and it's important to God. Work is not a bad word. It is a four-letter word, but it's not a bad four-letter word, okay? You have six days to do your ordinary work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath day of what?

Guest (Male): Rest.

Dale O'Shields: Do you see work and...

Guest (Male): Rest.

Dale O'Shields: Rest and work, tension that we face in life, dedicated to the Lord our God. The second tension, tension that we all face is the tension of giving our best while accepting our limitations. How do I give my best, but there's also limitations in my life? How do I manage the tension between making sure I'm giving my best while knowing that I'm limited in certain ways? Exodus 9 verse 10. Whatever you do, do well. Give your best to it. And then God says about us in Psalm 103 verse 14, "For he, God knows our mortal frame. He remembers that we are merely dust. He recognizes the limitations of our life." But there's always tension between, am I giving my best or am I facing some limitations?

Thirdly, having goals, this is a limitation and accepting realities. I need some goals in my life, but sometimes my goals overshoot my realities. There are things that I'm shooting for that I know that I'll never be able to make. So how do I establish good goals and realistic goals that I can achieve in my life, while at the same time realizing that there are going to be things that are not real for me to achieve. When I was a kid growing up, as a teenager, I loved basketball. I really loved watching basketball, loved playing basketball. And I just, I would dream at night about being a basketball star one day, okay? I know it's hard for you to imagine that for me. My only problem is, as I grew up, I only made it to about 5'8" standing on my tiptoes, okay? And so I had no height to be a good basketball player. So if I'd set a goal to make sure that I made it to the NBA, I was going to be in real trouble because there are very few if any 5'8" people in the NBA, right?

So the point being, you can have all the goals in the world, but they need to be realistic in your life. There's always a tension between, what are my goals and are they really realistic? And how would I know when they're realistic in my life? Proverbs 19:21 says, "We may make a lot of plans, have a lot of dreams, a lot of ideas, a lot of goals, but the Lord will do what he has decided."

The fourth one is going to get all of us. There's a tension in our life between spending and saving. Oh, that one at least, that one got you, didn't it, okay? Spending and saving. Do I spend this money I have or do I save it? Interestingly enough, there are some folks that are more oriented toward spending. There are other people that have a personality that wants to save, and they usually marry each other. That's how it works, okay? The spender and the saver, okay? And there's this tension that exists, do I spend or do I save? I'm going to digress just for a moment, give you a good financial seminar in like three minutes. You ready for this, okay?

How do you manage your resources, your financial resources? Here's a simple plan, it'll work for you. Work toward this goal, and then beyond this goal there are other things you can work on, but this will get you started. And I call it the 10/10/80 plan. The 10/10/80 plan, when it comes to your finances, the first 10%, where does it go? The first 10% goes to God. Why? Because that's the tithe, okay? And it belongs to him. God said, "The tithe is mine." Belongs to the Lord. That's the first 10% of whatever you earn, it belongs to God. In fact, when we hold on to that first 10%, Malachi chapter 3 tells us we're robbing God. I don't want to be a stealer from God. How about you? A thief from God. So that first 10% belongs to God. Why? Because God gave you the strength, the power, and the blessing to have the job that you have, to gain the resources you have. And so that's just a statement back of, "God, I trust you with my life." God's not going to care about your money, he cares about your trust in him and your gratitude toward him. So the first 10% goes to God.

The second 10%, try to do something productive for your future. Either get out of debt with it, if you have debt in your life, use that 10% to get your credit cards down, get to the place where you have zero debt outside of your house mortgage, okay? You want to get to a place where you're zero debt in your life other than perhaps your home that you own. And so you get to that place. Why? Because the borrower is subject to the lender. And so you're going to be in bondage your whole life if you never get out of debt. So work to get out of debt, or work to save some money somewhere. Why? Because there's going to be a time you're going to need some new tires for that car you got, right? You're going to have to have some money to pay for things that are just unexpected things in life. So you save, you put some margin in your life. And then the 80% that's left over, that's your living portion. So take that 80% and live according to your means in that regard. And you can spend it on whatever you want to spend it on, and spend it on things that are needs for your life. But don't, don't push beyond your capability or your earning power, your potential situation you're in at that moment. And just live within your means. So the 10/10/80 rule. But we have this tension, do I spend or do I save? How do I handle the finances of my life?

Proverbs 21:20 says, "Wise people's houses are full of the best foods and olive oil." If you're going to have the best foods in your house and olive oils in your house, going back to the agricultural culture that this was in, you've got to spend some money. But then it adds, "But fools waste everything they have." So the tension that exists there. Number five. Tension between taking steps of faith and then using practical wisdom. There's that tension, do I take the step of faith or is that unwise to do that? And so this pull back and forth. Some things are an overextension of your faith. Just making a leap of faith. I never believe in making leaps of faith. I believe that you should only take steps of faith. And God will lead you in steps of faith. And at times, you're going to have to step out into the unknown, not being able to figure everything out in your own mind. There are other times that you have to exercise wisdom. There's the tension between those two.

I like what Jesus said in Luke 14, beginning in verse 28. He says, "Don't begin," he's talking about building a building, "Don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost, to see if there's enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might be, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you." So building requires faith, but it also requires wisdom.

Number six. The tension between confidence and pride. Having confidence and developing pride. It's important to be confident, but it's also very important that we don't become arrogant. Paul writes these words in Philippians 4:13, "For I can do everything." Let's stop there for a moment. Does that sound like a confident person?

Guest (Male): Yes.

Dale O'Shields: Does it? If someone walked up to you and said, "I can do everything," you'd say, "Well, that's a pretty confident person, right?" Paul says, "I can do everything," but he doesn't stop there, "through Christ who gives me strength." So you see a confidence, but it's based in humility. It's not based in arrogance or pride.

Number seven, the tension between showing strength and demonstrating tenderness. Do I, do I come across strong or should I be tender? How should I respond to this person? Should I, should I be strong and forceful with them, or should I be tender and gentle toward them? Well, the answer is both. It's a tension in your life. Matthew 5:5, Jesus said, "Blessed are the meek." The word meek is the word Praus in the Greek language. It's a word that describes an animal that's been domesticated, a strong, powerful animal that's under control, strength under control. Think about a wild stallion that's brought in and broken and now it's ridable, and you place a little child on the back of this massive animal, and you see the tenderness there, but you also see the strength that is there. Jesus came as the lion of the tribe of Judah, but he also came as the lamb of God. He was a lion, but he was also a lamb. And so there's a tension that exists between those two.

Then number eight. The balance between serving other people and setting boundaries in your life. How much, I need to serve people, I need to serve, but how much do I do this? I love Matthew 5:41, where Jesus is talking about the Roman Empire. The Roman soldiers could actually conscript people during their day and command that they carry their pack, their backpack for a mile. And Jesus says to his followers, "If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them what?"

Guest (Male): Two.

Dale O'Shields: Be a servant, go with them the second mile. Don't stop at the first mile. Everybody does that, but go the second mile. This is what Jesus said. One mile, no, you go two. But what he didn't say is that if anyone forces you to go one mile, you go 20 miles with them. He didn't say that. He said, "Go two miles," okay? So there's a boundary that's there, okay? So boundaries are good. Jesus also said in the same context here, the sermon on the mount. He said, "If someone slaps you on one cheek, what are you supposed to do?"

Guest (Male): Turn the other cheek.

Dale O'Shields: Turn the other cheek, right? He didn't tell you to keep on turning and let somebody slap you to death, okay? Just keep turning. He said, "If somebody slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek." If they slap you again...

Guest (Male): Punch 'em.

Dale O'Shields: Jesus did not say that. Just make that clear, okay? That's my faulty interpretation, okay? I just stepped into heresy right then when I said that, okay? And please don't anyone go and quote me on that, "My pastor said that next time you punch somebody out, 'Well, pastor said I could do it.'" No, I didn't say that, okay? But the point being he didn't say just keep on taking abuse. He didn't say that at all, okay? And so you have to put this in context to realize that sometimes you need, you need to serve, you need to be giving, but you need some boundaries in your life. That's healthy for you.

And then number nine, pursuing excellence and expecting perfection. This is a tension. How do I go after excellence, but I'm, but I can't be perfect? And so some people just get caught up in this perfectionism mindset, that I've got to be perfect. And there are a lot of perfectionists in our world. Maybe that describes you, and so you're in that tension. And you will never be perfect, but you should seek to be excellent. And the word excellent means to do the best you can with what you have. That's all the word means. Whatever resource you have, I'm going to do the best I can with what I have. I'm going to pursue the best with everything that I have available to me. It doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect. Philippians 3:12. "I don't mean to say," Paul says, "that I am perfect. I'm not going to say I'm perfect. I haven't learned all that I should even yet, but I keep working toward that day. I'm pursuing excellence. I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be."

Let me give you a final tension point today. That's the tension between valuing solitude and then keeping relational connection in your life. How do you balance those two? Psychologists tell us that our world can be broken down generally speaking, in the general population, into two categories. And there are all kinds of personality tests that are given at times to kind of tell people kind of what they're basically like and all kinds of tests you can take. But in a general sense, the world is divided between what's often referred to as extroverts and introverts. You heard that before, right, okay? And so you have to determine, am I an extrovert or am I an introvert? And extroverts, they get their energy from being around people. Extroverts wake up in the morning, and the first thing they think about when they wake up in the morning is, "Where's the party?" Okay. "Where are people at? I got to get around people today." And so their, their energy and their focus is to get around as many people as they can because they're energized by being around people. Other people wake up in the morning and they say, "Where's my cave?" Okay. "I got to go hide," okay? "I don't want to be around anyone." They're, they're pulling away from people. In fact, there are some of you that are introverts, you would be happy to live in a cave for the rest of your life, okay? And you'd have the DoorDash delivered to you every day and, and you say, "Don't even knock on my door," okay? "I'm going to, I'm going to peek out and make sure you're gone before I go get my food out," okay? And then you run out, grab your food, run back in your cave, okay? That's an introvert, okay?

And so there's this tension between being with people and being alone at times. And how much should I be with people and, "I don't need to be around people." This pull, it's a tension. It's not a problem you solve. It's a tension you...

Guest (Male): Manage.

Dale O'Shields: Manage, exactly right. Luke chapter 5 verses 15 and 16. Jesus gave us the perfect example of this. He says, "Yet the news about him, Jesus, spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sickness." Notice crowds of people. That's a lot of people. So Jesus had people around him a lot of times, massive crowds of people. Had his 12 disciples with him a lot of times, had three disciples, Peter, James, and John that were very close. 70 who were also very close to him. So there were times that he was, he was around people very much. He was a very social Savior. But notice verse 16. "But Jesus often," what did he do?

Guest (Male): Withdrew to lonely places.

Dale O'Shields: He often withdrew to lonely places and he prayed. He managed the tension between solitude, valuing solitude, and keeping relational connection. Now, these are just a few of life's tensions, but we live in a world of tension. You cannot escape a world of tension. Tension in life exists. Don't run from tension, manage tension.

I'm going to quickly give you, as we wrap up here today, in about the next five to six minutes, I want to give you some strategies to manage tension well. Is that okay? How do I manage this stuff? I got these tensions pulling at me. How do I manage? I'll give you a few things that will help you. Number one, you got to know your non-negotiables. What's going to be important to me in my life that I'm going to make sure will always be a part of my life? For me, my relationship with God is number one. I want to make sure that I have a relationship with God, that I spend time with God every day, that I'm praying, I'm reading my Bible. That's a non-negotiable. That's something that's got to be in my life, and I can't live without it. Don't want to live without it.

Have a family, have relationships that are valuable. So these are the big rocks of my life that are non-negotiables. Never going to push them out of my life. Number two, out of those non-negotiables, I want to establish some good habits. I want to structure my life to make sure that the things that are really important are the things that I'm doing. That I'm making sure that my tensions are managed by the fact that I have really good habits. I've put some structure in my life. I want everyone here today to say this word with me, structure. Say it with me, structure. Structure in your life is organizing your life. And I will tell you this, if you don't structure your life, your life will run you. You got to tell your life what you want your life to be instead of letting your life tell you, okay? And so you structure your life, you set some good habits.

And then number three, important when you accept the reality of imbalance. What I mean by this, I have people all the time, "Ah, I just need more balance in my life." Well, good luck, okay? Because life is not balanced. Life will never be balanced. You work all your energy trying to balance life, it's not going to happen because it's unrealistic to try to balance your life all the time. Sometimes your life is going to be over here and it's like a pendulum, you're kind of swinging back and forth from time to time through life. If you're a young mother, for example, here today, you probably have a very unbalanced life. You're spending all your time taking care of these little kids because they demand your attention. So there are things that you can't do now that you'd like to do because you need to pay attention to them. Same is true for fathers. It's a valuable part of your life. And so your life is kind of out of balance, but one day those kids are going to leave your home. Praise the Lord.

And once they're gone from your house, your life switches to a different kind of balance. So what I want you to think of is to think of your life not in just moments, but think in seasons of life, okay? Life is seasonal in the way you live your life. So there are different balances that you have at different seasons of your life.

And then number four, how do you manage tension? Ask God for wisdom. I was thinking as I was studying Mary and Martha and that story, what if Martha in the midst of all her upset moment, because her sister wasn't helping her, what if she'd stopped for a moment and said, "Jesus, I'm starting to feel a little upset about Mary not helping me. Jesus, what would you want me to do right now? Would you prefer me to serve you, or would you prefer me to sit?" I think the whole story would have been different if she asked for some wisdom, don't you, okay? And there are times in life when you say, "Do I do this, or do I do that?" "And how do I do this?" There's a tension here. What do I do? Then you say, "God, I need your wisdom to know how to handle this. What is it that you want me to do?" And the beautiful thing is that God will give you wisdom if you ask him for it with faith.

Number five, develop discernment. Discernment is the ability to see the nuances of life and to make judgment calls about things, make good judgment calls about things. Discern what you really need to be doing. And one of the most important discernment points is to discern between what's urgent in your life and what's really important in your life. The 34th President of the United States was a man by the name of Dwight Eisenhower. Many of you perhaps have studied something about Dwight Eisenhower in history, but he was a very meticulous man, a very organized man, a very systematic man. He was a general. And he made a number of observations related to the tensions of life and how to manage them. And one of Dwight Eisenhower's statements is this, he says, "What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important." Let me read that for you again. "What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important."

Most of us live on the urgency of life. Got to do it. Got to do this now. That's what was going on with Martha. She felt it was urgent to get the house in order. Mary realized what was important. I need to sit at the feet of Jesus, okay? And so what is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important. So Dwight Eisenhower created what he called the matrix. It's referred to as the Eisenhower Matrix. You can look it up yourself and study it on your own, but I kind of organized it in my own, I've used this for a lot of years in my own life in terms of trying to make good decisions about how I spend my time and so forth. So I want to put it on the screen here for you. This is a modified version of it. This isn't Eisenhower's version, this is Dale's version, okay? So I'm going to give you my version today. I hope Eisenhower will not be offended by that.

But it's a good matrix in terms of how do you manage tension in your life? And it's divided into two basic categories, the urgent and the not urgent, and the important and the not important. So it's a good matrix. Anytime you're looking at a tension point in your life, you ask yourself the question, "Is this urgent and is it important?" If it's urgent and important, what's your response?

Guest (Male): Do it now.

Dale O'Shields: I think I need to do a teaching series on reading skills, okay? So next weekend, we're going to have a special seminar on how to read, okay? All right, so be here. Let's try it again. If something is urgent or important, what's your response?

Guest (Male): Do it now.

Dale O'Shields: When?

Guest (Male): Now.

Dale O'Shields: Do it now, okay? So if something's urgent and it's important, you don't put it off, okay? I do it now. I'm not procrastinating. Why? Because it's urgent and it's important. If something is important, but it's not urgent, what's your response?

Guest (Male): Schedule it.

Dale O'Shields: Schedule it. So I'm going to put it on my schedule because it's not urgent right now, but it is important. So I'm going to schedule this into my life so that I make sure that I get to it. It's got to be something that I've committed my time to, right? If something is urgent and not important, what should you do with it?

Guest (Male): Delegate.

Dale O'Shields: What do we mean by assign? It means find some help, okay? You know, it might, it's not really that important, but it does seem a little bit urgent. Then what am I going to do? Can somebody help me with this right now? It's not that big of a deal, but I can find somebody to help me. I might be able to pay somebody to help me, whatever the case might be, but I can get somebody to help carry that. It is urgent, but it's not important. And then, by the way, if something is not urgent and not important, what's your response?

Guest (Male): Delete it.

Dale O'Shields: Just hit that delete button. Boom. Not going to do that. Why? Because it's not important and it's not urgent. I'm not going to let that run my life, okay? Do you know how many people live in the fourth quadrant there and they never hit the delete button? Their whole life is being run by things that are not that urgent, and certainly not important, but their whole life is dictated by that one little category. So make good choices, develop discernment in your life.

Then two final things, stay teachable and flexible. When you make a mistake, learn from it. I'm sure that Martha learned from her mistake. Would you agree with me? If Jesus were to come back into her home the next time, do you think Martha would have been serving? No, Martha would have been sitting, okay? She learned from it. And then don't resent tension, embrace it. This is how you handle it. Don't resent it. Tension is going to be a part of your life. Don't resent it, but embrace it.

I'll use an illustration that I used a couple of weekends ago, the guitar. Guitar has six strings on it. Most guitars do. Some will have 12, but most guitars have six strings on them. And on one end of that guitar are tuning pegs. You've seen tuning pegs. If I had a guitar here, I would show you here today, but there are tuning pegs on one end. And most people focus on the tuning pegs. That's how you tune a guitar up, of course. But there's another part of the guitar that's vital to the tuning element. The other part of that guitar that's vital to tuning it is actually on the other side of the guitar, past the little sound section there, the sound hole that's there. And you'll see a little bridge that's there, a little, usually it's a wooden bridge on an acoustic guitar. And it's where you feed the strings through, and you pull them down the frets of the guitar and then you tune it by the tuning pegs. And in between the tuning pegs and the bridge, if those, if that guitar is going to make a harmonious chord and a beautiful sound, what has to exist between the bridge and the tuning pegs?

Guest (Male): Tension.

Dale O'Shields: What?

Guest (Male): Tension.

Dale O'Shields: Tension, okay? If there's no tension, there's no good sound, okay? If all that's lacking tension, nothing, nothing's tuned up, and the pressure and tension is not placed between those two, there's no beautiful chord that can come out. As I told you a couple of weekends ago, let me tell you again, God allows tension in our life because he wants to tune us up. He's not against you. He's for you, okay? He wants to bring a beautiful sound out of your life. There's a chord that can only be played through you. There's a song that can only be played through you. There's a melody that can only be played through you. But that song, that melody, that harmony, that flow of life that is uniquely you, will never come out without God placing you in the context of some tension, because it's the tension that brings the beautiful sound out. So don't resent tension. Don't resent it. Tension is a good part of life if you know how to, what's the keyword today? If you know how to manage it. Amen. Here's a, yeah, you can go ahead and clap for that, not for me, but it's a great point, okay? Tension is good for you if you know how to manage it.

So here's a prayer that's worth praying on a regular basis. We'll conclude with this. Psalm 25 verses 4 and 5. Show me your ways, Lord. Help me to know what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Show me your ways. How do you want me to live in this tension? Teach me your paths. Show me how to walk and make good decisions. Help me to be the Mary when I need to be the Mary. And help me to be the foot washer when I need to be the foot washer. Teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me. For you are God, my savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Would you bow your heads with me as we pray today?

Father, thank you for the opportunity of studying your word. We are so appreciative for the tremendous principles that you give us in your word for living our lives. And we're grateful, Lord, for the tension you allow in our lives, at times to bring about the tunes, the sounds, the songs, the melodies that you want to play through us. Forgive us of all the times, Lord, that we're running away from tension. We say, "We don't want this in our life." But Lord, we pray that you'd help us to embrace the tensions of life and to learn to manage them well. We ask you to guide us. Show us your paths, Lord. And help us to learn how to do the right thing at the right time, in the right way. Help us to have discernment in our lives, oh God, that only you can give us, wisdom from above. We pray this in the in the precious name of Jesus, our savior.

I would like to close today by giving you an an opportunity to ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me right now? Right where you are, just simply bow your head with me. And I'm going to give you a prayer to pray. You can simply speak this prayer out, whisper this prayer out. And from the sincerity of your heart, call upon God. And I promise you that he will hear and answer you. So let's pray together. Start by simply whispering the name Jesus. Let there come from your heart just the declaration of his name. Say, Jesus, I know that that I am a sinner. That I have fallen short with you. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Jesus, I believe in you. I believe that you are God's son. I believe that you are the savior of the world. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins. And I believe that you rose from the grave, that you are alive today. Now pray these words. Say, Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Come into my life. Forgive me of my sins. Give me a new start in you. I commit my life to you in Jesus' name. Amen.

Now, if you prayed that prayer with me, I want to encourage you with a promise from God's word that says that when we call upon God's name, we call upon the Son of God, there is salvation that comes to our lives. He changes us from the inside out. And you become a new creation. All things pass away, all things become new. And that's exactly what has happened to you today. Your next step really is to make sure that you get into a good Bible believing church. And you begin to study God's word, get God's word in you, and to make sure that you get a copy of the Bible if you don't have one and begin to read it. Spend some time every day in prayer. And I would encourage you also to check out the resources on our website that will help you to get going in your relationship with Jesus. You can find them at church-redeemer.org. Get those into your hands. Get started in your new life with Jesus Christ. Thanks again for joining us today. May God bless you and we look forward to seeing you next time.