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Announcer (Female): Welcome to PowerPoint with Jack Graham.

Jack Graham: Marriage exists because God exists. And because God made us in his own image. Though that image is defaced by sin, it can be restored.

Announcer (Female): On today's PowerPoint, Dr. Graham brings a message about how you can build a solid foundation in your marriage. Now, here's Dr. Graham with his message, Marriage God's Way.

Jack Graham: Take your Bibles and turn to Genesis chapter 2. Genesis chapter 2.

We are going all the way back to the beginning of the Bible to lay some foundations for the family, your family and mine. Now, at the outset, I want to say, if you are a Christian, if you are a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, there is a 100% chance that you can have a great marriage.

We hear all the data and I could stream the data this morning of the brokenness of the homes and families, and there is a lot of it. And there are reasons for it, of course, and we will identify some of the reasons for this brokenness along the way. But at the start, I want to say to you, don't give up on your home and your family. Don't give up on your marriage. And even if you have a good marriage right now.

My prayer for you is that you will move from good to great, that it won't be just living together or staying together. It's important to stay together, but not just staying together, but growing together. When Deb and I got married, May 22nd, 1970, we didn't have a clue as to what marriage would require of us. We knew that we knew the Lord and that we wanted to serve Him and we wanted to serve Him together. And God has helped us as a couple to grow together.

And your marriage, as well as mine, can be filled with love, a love that doesn't just linger, but lasts a lifetime. A devotion that is not only love at first sight, you know what that feels like if you can remember. But as the saying goes, it's not love at first sight that really makes marriage last and love last, it's when you've been looking at each other all these years. It's after all the years and coming to the end of the days of our lives that we can look at one another and love one another more than ever.

And when a family is filled with the Lord Jesus Christ, when Christ is at the center of your hearts and your home, then yes, His love poured in our hearts by the Holy Spirit will last a lifetime. Because you see, it's not what you know. We are in a generation. We know now more than any previous generation about marriage, about how to have a great marriage, how to get through conflict, all the things, communication, children, parenting. There is more information now than ever.

Ultimately, it's not about information; it is about not what you know, it's who you know. And when you know Jesus Christ, I mean really know Him, that you have an intimacy with God in Christ, that you know Him. When you know, you will grow in your knowledge and in your wisdom as to how to have a great marriage and a great family.

Now, let's lay the foundation. Marriage and family is a divine design. God is a God of design and order. And the same God who spoke the worlds into existence, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, the universe, the same God who did all of that. When I in awesome wonder consider all the works Thy hands have made. How great Thou art. When we consider this, the majesty and the grandeur of God, we also see that God created the man and the woman and placed them in the Garden on the planet Earth. And it is all by divine design. All of it is by His order.

And the biblical worldview of life is not evolution. It is, in fact, devolution. We're not getting progressively better, we're getting progressively worse as the Bible tells us. Our worldview is not evolution; it is creation. And the God who is the creator, and that, of course, includes marriage, and men and women who are created by divine design. Marriage did not ooze out of the primordial swamp in some way. No, marriage exists because God exists. And because God made us in his own image. And though that image is defaced and destroyed by sin, it can be restored by Jesus Christ. And you can become a new creation by putting your faith and trust in Him.

Verse 7 of Genesis chapter 2 puts it this way: "Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." Now scroll down to verse 18. "Then the Lord God said, It is not good." After all the good that God had created. At each interval of creation, day after day, God looked at it and said, it's good, it's good, it's good, it's good. And then He created the man, Adam, placed him in the garden, and He saw that Adam was alone. And He said, "Not good. Not good." And so what did God do? He said, "I will make a helper fit for him." Not as his competitor, but as his completer.

Verse 21, "So that the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed it up its place with flesh." Divine surgery takes place. So out of his rib, the Lord God had taken from the man into a woman and brought her into the man. And then verse 23, "Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.'" "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife." I love that. "Hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh."

Now, three words in that verse, verse 24, describe marriage God's way. Three words: leave, cleave, and become. And we'll talk about those in just a moment. Leave, cleave and become one flesh. "And the man, verse 25, and his woman were both naked and were not ashamed." That is, they lived in perfect intimacy before God and before one another.

So when you talk about marriage, you don't start with sociology or psychology. You start with theology, which is the study of God. And when you know God and what God says, you want to know how God instructs us and informs us as to how we're to live our lives and live our lives together in families. The psalmist said, He puts the solitary in families. Everyone needs a family. Everyone needs a home. I like to say that you need a heavenly home. You need to know that you're going to heaven when you die or when Christ comes. You need a family home, people who love you, and you need a church home. You need a spiritual home. And so God puts us together in life.

Jesus affirmed all of this in Matthew chapter 19, verses 4 through 6. He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said to them, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." What is Jesus doing? He is giving us once again the biblical worldview. This is His word, God's word. And they shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. "And what therefore God has joined together," Christ adds, Christ commands, "let not man separate." Why? Because marriage is not primarily a human institution, it is a divine institution.

Before there was any other kind of institution in the world, before there was a university, before there was a government, before there was any organization, a business, before there was any other thing, a church. Before there was a church, there was a family, and it started with one who became one with another. Adam and Eve, they are our family. We're all a part of the first family. And there are so many other things in life that are important, and we all understand that. But there is nothing more important, if you are married, than the relationship that you have with God and with the man or the woman in your life, your spouse.

Announcer (Female): You're listening to PowerPoint with Jack Graham and the message, Marriage God's Way. We are excited to share that we have a new way to connect with us. It's our texting service designed to keep you connected with everything happening here at PowerPoint. You'll be the first to know about upcoming events, special announcements, and truly enriching content. To join, start a new text conversation by texting the word CONNECT to 59789. Again, text CONNECT to 59789. Every gift given to PowerPoint Ministries before June 30th will be doubled through a $200,000 matching grant. This is a crucial moment as we close out the financial year, because your support helps ensure that the truth of Jesus continues reaching people who are searching for something real they can trust. And as a thank you for your gift, we'll send you The Jesus Discoveries by Dr. Jeremiah Johnston, a resource designed to strengthen your confidence in the truth of the gospel. To give your gift and request your copy, text JUNE to 59789. That's JUNE to 59789. And thank you for helping share the truth of Jesus with a searching world. Now, let's get back to today's message, Marriage God's Way.

Jack Graham: What is marriage God's way? Well, number one, it is, marriage is a divine covenant, a covenant. That's an important word. Much more than a human contract or a legal contract, and I believe in legal marriage. I do. But before God, this is a covenant. And the word covenant means to cut, especially in a relationship. So beyond a contractual agreement which can be broken by either party, marriage is a covenant of commitment to one another before God. It is a solemn pledge and promise to live exclusively and love exclusively one another for the rest of your life. And if you aren't willing to make that kind of commitment, you need not apply.

A covenant is a sacred promise to God that you don't break like you're breaking up in junior high by taking your ring back or you're giving your letter jacket back. It's not something that we can break. Jesus said, "What God has joined together, don't let man separate." And this relationship can be rich and fulfilling. It is a legal relationship, it is a physical relationship, it is a soulish or psychological, emotional relationship, but above all, it is a spiritual relationship, that in Christ we become one.

So this is where we start. We start with the truth of the Bible. The Word of God directs us, and we commit therefore to His plan for our lives. Because He knows what is best, and may we never compromise on our commitment to God. Your submission and mine to God's will must be total and wholehearted, no matter what. Monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is a mandate from Almighty God. So here's the big priority that we've been talking about, and that is to leave and to cleave and to become one flesh.

Three verbs. Leave. That's the idea of priority, that you leave your family behind, your mother, your father. Now, the Bible tells us that we're to always honor our mothers and our fathers. That's a commandment in the big ten list. And children are to obey their parents and honor their parents as children and throughout life. But when we get married, we leave behind Mom and Dad, and we create a new union, separate and unto itself.

And whatever else you may do in life, your work, your career, raising your children, taking care of your health, all those things do not compare to this first commitment that we have to God and to one another as husbands and wives. It is supreme in all human relationships. So leave, that's priority. And cleave, that's permanence. Not only is this marriage a priority, of course, but it is permanent in its design, in its divine design. And in that is the word cleave. It's a word that literally means to stick together like glue.

And there is a cleaving. There is a leaving behind of your childhood and your past, you've now grown to make an adult commitment, you're now adulting in your marriage, and you're committing to one another, and then there is this permanence that we're cleaving to one another. We are connected, vitally connected in Christ. You see, this is so much more than the way the world looks at marriage, isn't it? Or maybe even the way that you've looked at marriage. The Bible says that we're, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Aren't you glad that Jesus never walked up to you and said, "You know what? I just don't love you anymore. I'm tired of you. I'm leaving." You will never hear Jesus say, "I'm leaving you."

So how are we to love our wives? How are we to love our husbands? As Christ loves you. He said, "I will never leave you or forsake you." The great need that we all have is security in life. And wives and husbands need the security of knowing that you're there to stay. This means that we're going to accept one another, our failures, our faults, our foibles, the frustrations that happen on a daily basis, that we learn to accept one another, our own imperfections. Too many quit too soon. When if you would just work through and grow through the problems that you're facing, you could restore your home and your family.

You say, "Well, it's next to impossible." With God all things are possible. Yes, you may need a miracle from God, but you can get a miracle. Because God's design is for you to love your wife and love your husband a lifetime. And what I see, and I thought I would just share a few of these with you, what I've seen over all of these years of being a pastor is what breaks up homes and families. Here, here they are, and I'm going to cover these more completely as we go, but I have seven of them. Quickly. What destroys this relationship? What rips apart a marriage and a relationship?

One is selfishness. That's where it really starts. When Christ is on the throne of my heart and I'm off in a position of yielding and when Deb is off in a position of yielding to Christ, then Jesus is Lord of our home, our family, our lives, and it works. But if either one of us try to knock Jesus off and sit on the throne, that's what happens in so many marriages. It's just selfishness. King George and Queen Mary vying for the throne. Who's going to be in charge here? Who's going to be in control here? Rather than letting Christ be in control, and it's just selfishness, not just in big things, but in little things. We'll talk about that.

Secondly, this is what I see. And I've had a lot of experience in seeing this, unfortunately. Substance abuse. Substance, whether it is pornography, or gambling, or drugs, alcohol, this wrecks a family like hardly anything else.

Third, sexual sin. Obviously, adulterates a family. Sex is a gift from God and it is to be protected at all cost within the covenant and commitment of holy marriage. Purity of heart and mind and body is the commandment of God for all Christians. But sexual sin has ruined many a life and many a marriage.

Fourthly, is spending. Spending, the way we spend our money. Debt in particular, due to overspending. And money problems create all kinds of marriage problems. The Bible says, "Contentment with godliness is great gain." Godly contentment is great gain. The goal of your home and mine in Christ is contentment, peace. And all the things in the world won't fill your need for contentment. And have you learned the lesson? This is the Tenth Commandment, by the way, "Do not covet." But have you learned the lesson that it's not what, it's not having what you want in life, but it is wanting what you have that creates contentment in your mind and in your marriage.

And then I would say speech. That's another marriage killer. Speech, words. Our words matter. And our words are to be always loving and kind and expressive. They're not always, and I'll be the first amongst us to raise my hand and to say my words are not always godly and wholesome and kind. This is something we have to work on our entire lives. I'm just talking about now between Deb and me. You say, "Do you and Deb have arguments?" No, we really don't have arguments. We do have discussions that can be heard, I don't know, several blocks away at times. Not that loud, but let our speech be filled with love. But here's what breaks a marriage down. Here's what breaks your mate down. Abusive words, hateful words, angry words, profane words, hurtful words, carnal words. And if you are profaning your wife, if you are cursing your husband, not only do your children hear that, and what kind of what kind of representative of Christ is that? But not only do your children hear it and it breaks them down, why would anyone curse in front of their children?

But if you are cursing your wife or your husband, you are bullying them, you are abusing them. You don't have to hit someone to abuse them. And I've seen so many marriage destroyed. And sometimes it's it's not even the words, it's the silence. You know what I'm talking about? It's the having a pity party and shutting the other person out. It's the lack of communication. It's the lack of words, honest, clear words. But speech, the way we talk to one another, ask God to control your tongue. You say, "Well, it's home. I can say what I want." No, especially not at home.

And then finally, Satan. If I were the devil, and I'm glad I'm not, but if I were the devil, the first place I would attack would be the home, the family. And that's what he does. And how does he attack? With lies. Lies that he tells you, lies that you tell yourself about your relationship. And don't believe the lies of Satan. Believe what God has said. And don't be a deal breaker, be a promise maker and a promise keeper.

Announcer (Female): You're listening to PowerPoint with Jack Graham and the message, Marriage God's Way. When you support PowerPoint Ministries, you help share God's word with people around the world through programs just like this one. And as a thank you for your gift this month, we'll send you The Jesus Discoveries by Dr. Jeremiah Johnston as our thanks. This powerful resource walks through real historical evidence that points directly to Jesus, helping strengthen your faith and giving you confidence in the truth of God's word. And right now, every gift given before June 30th will be doubled through a $200,000 matching grant. This is a crucial moment as we close out the financial year, because your support helps ensure that PowerPoint Ministries continues reaching people with the gospel in the months ahead. To give your gift and request your copy, text JUNE to 59789. That's JUNE to 59789. We are excited to share that we have a new way to connect with us. It's our texting service designed to keep you connected with everything happening here at PowerPoint. You'll be the first to know about upcoming events, special announcements, and truly enriching content. To join, start a new text conversation by texting the word CONNECT to 59789. Again, text CONNECT to 59789. Pastor, what is your PowerPoint for today?

Jack Graham: If you're beginning to see red flags, some danger zones in your home and your family, then I want to encourage you. Above all else, don't give up. In the name of the Lord Jesus, keep fighting for your marriage. I love the story of Mallory and his friends who were attempting to climb Mount Everest for the very first time. It had never been scaled. Mallory left the party at 25,000 feet, and he and Irvine began working their way to the top. Well, if you know the story, then you know they never made it. They died on their way up to the peak.

And later, one of the members of the party left behind was lecturing in London about their expeditions at Mount Everest, and he said, "Everest, you conquered us once. We tried to scale you, Everest, and you won. We failed. But Everest, we will try again. Everest, we will conquer you because Everest, you cannot grow. We can."

You may be facing a mountain in your marriage. You may be facing summits of problems that you don't think you can scale. Pressure, maybe even failure presents an obstacle that you don't think you can overcome, but remember this. Jesus said, "By faith, you can say to the mountain, 'Be removed,' and it will be cast into the midst of the sea." By the power of Jesus Christ, by the miracle-working power of His love and grace in your life, you can grow. Your marriage can get stronger and go higher for God. You can grow deeper in the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So, friend, no matter what you may be facing today, what obstacle or mountain may be in front of you, keep focused on growing in your faith. Keep focused on the word of God and your testimony in Christ and keep scaling the heights for Him. Keep growing in your marriage and never, never, never. And I do mean never give up. It's always too soon to quit. There is always hope because Jesus is Lord, and He can bring a miracle to your street.

Announcer (Female): And that is today's PowerPoint. Remember, when you give a gift to PowerPoint, we'll send you Dr. Jeremiah Johnston's book, The Jesus Discoveries. Just text JUNE to 59789. And join us again next time as Dr. Graham brings a message about a vibrant love in your life, your home, and your marriage. That's next time on PowerPoint with Jack Graham. PowerPoint with Jack Graham is sponsored by PowerPoint Ministries.