Power Walk Ministries

Guest (Male): You've tuned in to the Power Walk Ministries broadcast. Thanks for joining us today as Reverend Paul Cannings brings us the concluding message in this 10-part series on fatherhood: your best life.

Over the past two weeks, Reverend Cannings has broken down for us the various aspects about parenting and what an incredible responsibility God places on the father to instruct, correct, and teach the children with wisdom. Through scripture and practical application on raising our children, Pastor Cannings brings us this message today on Godly Correction. Let's listen.

Dr. Paul Cannings: One of the things that would definitely create a lot of tension today is when we talk about the whole issue of correction. It has become so abusive today that people want to outlaw it and people don't dare touch their child or spank their child. "My child will never be spanked" and all of these different things because of what this situation of spanking a child has become so abusive.

So we want to throw the baby out with the bathwater on this whole issue of correction that we will talk about some today and instruction and how those two tie together so that the child grows up in the Lord. That's the ultimate focus for which all of this is done. It's not done so that the parent will spank you because I just can't stand the way you do that in the kitchen or to go to the leather and whip right away. That's not the point of it all.

That is honestly not what the Bible is teaching in the scriptures. I know there's some verses in Proverbs that are so vivid about spanking and it's not going to kill the child. We're missing the whole point of this process when people function in that manner. That is not what it is about.

So let's just approach this as best as we can within our time limitations: what God is talking about when He talks about discipline and the other side to discipline is correction. We've spent most of the time last time talking about discipline because when discipline is done right, you have less correction. Even in God working with us, the more He disciplines us, the less correction He has to do because our hearts are so tuned and we so want to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh that the love of the Lord removes all fear.

There's no need to fear Him spanking us because our heart is to do what He says. So in our discipline, that God disciplines those whom He loves (Hebrews chapter 12:7 through 11), there's less need for correction. When we come to this issue of correction in the Bible, there's several different things we need to pay attention to that leads to a child being willing to accept instruction.

In other words, if correction is not done when discipline has led the child to be rebellious, that's the first part of it, then the child can't hear instruction. That's why the best time to instruct the child is after the discipline is in place and correction has taken place because of their rebellious nature, because they're born in sin. The word sin is to rebel against the principles of God. It's not to just not do it. It is to rebel against it. It is to know what to do and choose not to do it.

Because the parent is raising this child up in the Lord, whatever the parent is teaching the child is about the Lord. It's not about themselves. It's not about "fix your hair this way because I think that's the best way" or "dress this way because I think that's the best way." You're not taking the parent's will and stuffing it into the life of the child. The child still has their individuality, still has their personality that is different from the parent.

When it comes to this whole process, correction becomes critical because the first thing is the child is rebelling. They're showing their sin nature, they're showing their foolish nature and they're stuffing it in your face and they're daring you. The issue has to do with correction because the child is being rebellious. The child knows the rules, knows the structure, but is not planning to do it, so there is correction.

And when correction comes, He says "don't spare the rod." God knows what this structure is like. He understands what the child being born in sin, shaped in iniquity with foolishness in their heart, is like. So He is telling us what not to do about it: do not provoke the child and bring them to anger. Nurture them. That's still in place.

So now discipline is going to drive them to want to live in the structure. And when they choose not to live in the structure, they know you love them because you didn't take this correction and use it with your anger, leading to their anger. And they know from your nurturing that you love them. That's why it doesn't come out bad.

I never remember a time where when we spanked the child, the child wasn't looking at me sometimes disappointed that they needed that spanking, or we can hug and talk and I would hold him. And I would let him know how much I love him. I did that. In our family, we developed this four-step process when it came to the issue of being spanked. This is the four-step process we developed from studying this that may be helpful to your family.

Here's the first thing we did: we warned the child because they knew the structure and the rules that the family had. So we warned them because they already knew it. We don't just teach it to them; they already knew it. So we said, "Hey, this is your warning." We explained it to them. As they grow older and older, we practiced it with them.

Here's the second thing we would do with them: we would say we're going to take away your privileges. So we would start taking away television. When they had the little Nintendo games back then, I said "No, you lose your privileges." Yes, you get to look at TV on Friday nights; now that's cut back. Never took away church. No, we need you at church, brother. We're not taking away church. As a matter of fact, our children used to use that as a way to hook up with their friends that they couldn't talk to on the phone. We didn't know they were backdooring us, but that's how they did it.

So here's the third thing we did: we came to them and we would say to them we're going to start out spanking you first with just two or three spankings. I think it was three spankings that we gave them. We spanked them, three whips. And it wasn't without their clothes on; we're not trying to stir up anger and be abusive. Their clothes were on, but we made sure it wasn't no two or three pants, that's for sure.

But we didn't spank them without their clothes and all that stuff. We didn't do that because this was all about you are willfully violating the rules and here is where it stops and you are going to listen. That's where it was. So the child got three. If the child says, "I'm going to come back to the same issue and still be rebellious," it's now four. If the child comes back and is still going to be rebellious, it's now five.

We say you could stop this anytime you want. There is never a time we arrive at spanking first. When the warning comes, you know where it's going; you could stop it. And we literally started seeing our children take responsibility for their actions as to whether or not they were ever spanked.

And I want you to understand that's what God does with us. God would say to a nation, "Hey listen, you continue this way, I'm going to do this." In other words, before I kick you out into Babylon, here is what I'm saying to you. I'm sending prophet after prophet after prophet to preach to you, to talk to you, and you need to listen.

Correction came as the last step, not the first step. And that's why the child when they receive it, the parent wasn't trying to provoke them to wrath. There was nurturing taking place. There was a structure developed in disciplining, and then came the correction. And that's why the Bible is saying if you don't correct the child, you will spoil them.

You will spoil them because the discipline no longer means anything because the child can rebel against it. They could even talk back to you; nothing. You spoil the child. The child ends up being like spoiled food. The child's nature was not developed to be the kind of character it needs to be.

And that's why attached to this correction, right after that comes instruction. Because now the child realizes, "I better listen." So now that I better listen, here is the information you need to have. Because discipline, as I said, drives the need for wisdom, and wisdom needs instruction.

So now that the child is in this place where the child now has to respond and listen to the parent, the Bible is saying since the focus is to bring the child up in the Lord, now it's time to teach. The best times that we ever sought to teach our kids was after we had to do correction. They were willing to listen because they knew this is it.

There's no way we are stopping this process and it's all up to you. There's no going back to the top of warnings, there's no going back to the top of taking away privileges. It starts and ends here because you're here. And you can stop it.

I'll never forget putting my ears on the door when my kids were in their bedroom sometimes and I would listen. And I remember them saying, "How many whippings did you get? Oh man, this whole month I haven't got nothing." And I said "Ooh." I remember running back to the bedroom going "They're getting it! They're getting it!"

I was so excited because they understood: we stop this. We don't have to do this. We are not walking in this house angry hitting us. We can stop this. And they were young at that time and the whippings became less and it became irrelevant by the time they were older teenagers. There was no need to even think about it.

It's not a good time to do that psychologically, but there was no talk about it because it was removed. Because the instruction was to teach them the principles of God that we're going to take them back through the whole process of holding them to it. And now comes the instruction. Why? Because you're trying to lead the person to Christ.

Instruction is not just about the Bible. Let me give you an example as we wrap up here. Instruction here is, "No, we want to talk about dating, son." That's what we'll tell them. "I want to talk about dating because I'm leading you to a wife. So I don't want you going through 20,000 women because that could corrupt you. So let's just talk about one fundamental principle: you must date a young lady that shows an aptitude for Christ. That's the fundamental rule, son." So once you take care of that fundamental rule, we'll go to the next one.

And so we developed a structure attached to dating because we're saying this dating is taking you to marriage. So the minute that you violate the structure, then the dating stops, lending you the car stops, all these things back up because we're now back to taking away privileges.

So now we're dealing with instruction, and instruction is talking about dating to marriage. Instruction is talking about why school and college is important. So instruction is not always throwing the Bible at them; instruction is providing them wisdom because these things are important in the development of their life.

Because the key thing here is he's saying this, and please don't forget this: of the Lord. Everything I'm doing is of the Lord. It is for the Lord. Because He gave the child. Every child is a gift from Him. We did not bring this child into the world; He brought the child into the world.

He is the one that puts air in their lungs. He is the one that provides food to cover them. He is the one that is invested everything in making sure this child is here. So as a result of that, it's about Him, it's not about us. And many parents have made these children about them. They've used them as weapons in divorces, all kinds of things.

No, the child is about God. This is what makes this child be a great person for the glory of God. That's what you found in the Timothys of the Bible, the great people in the Bible that has reflections from their parents because it was of the Lord, it was for the Lord, it was for the blessings of God. It was about His directive for that child's life. It was never about the parents. We're just vehicles to make this child a gift back to God.

I used to say this all the time to my son. "Son, at the end of the day, God is your father. My job is to cause you to love Him so that He directs you. I'm just a vehicle as a father for you to enjoy your father, the Lord God. That's it. Give me a chance to get you there so that you fall in love with Him and you live a productive life. It's about God, it's not about me."

Folks, as we raise our kids, do this as unto God so that all the blessings that God has for us we don't lose, which blesses the family and blesses us. And at the same time, we can sit back and enjoy our kids as our best friends. Stay focused.

Guest (Male): Every child is a gift from God, and it's all about Him, the Lord, not about us. Some great counsel from Dr. Paul Cannings. And what a great series this has been, and we trust that it's been a blessing to you. Now for a copy of this series for yourself or for a loved one, be sure to visit us online at powerwalkministries.org. That's powerwalkministries.org. And you're welcome to call us at 281-260-7402. That's area 281-260-7402.

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So please pray about being a Power Walk partner today. You can do so by calling us at 281-260-7402 or by visiting us online at powerwalkministries.org. And once again, fathers, let's remember as we raise our children that we do so as unto the Lord because it's all about Him.