Power Walk Ministries

Guest (Male): This is the Power Walk Ministries broadcast. We're glad to have you join us. Our recurring teaching is titled "Fatherhood: Your Best Life," brought to us by Reverend Paul Cannings. Today Reverend Cannings addresses candidly and from his heart the joys and challenges of parenting.

From personal experience and through scripture, he outlines for us the importance of parenting and what this means for our families, communities, our work, and most importantly, for the Kingdom of God. Here he is now with the message, "Parenting: A Joy and a Challenge."

Paul Cannings: One of the greatest moments that I've ever experienced in my life was the call to be a parent. I'll never forget how that just jolted me that God has actually placed in my care the development of a human being that could become whatever things in this world, how many children that they may have, how they would impact other people in their lives in whatever areas they would go. And God is giving me an opportunity to have that impact in this human being.

One human being can turn the world upside down or turn the world in a positive direction. One human being created 8 million deaths in Hitler. One human being can decide whether or not this world is a better place, in Abraham Lincoln. One human being could develop a strong impact in social justice in Martin Luther King. Many human beings could come along and make great impacts, and they're just one person, like in the case of Mandela after all those years of imprisonment.

The responsibility of raising a child is on a father. I understand there's a lot of single moms out there. I've pastored and been in ministry a long time. I understand things are complicated with blended families. But at the end of the day, when we work through this process and deal with those dynamics, the responsibility of raising a child is on a father. And when those responsibilities are not carried out, the father has led to a situation on this earth that is damaging to the rest of the earth.

As I explained yesterday, my wife and I with two kids is four people. Now, if my son continues forward with an adoption, he already has three kids. An adoption, that's four. We have eight grandkids. We now have a family of 14. Now take those 14 grandkids and you say they have kids, and they have kids, and their kids have kids. What do we have in a matter of a few generations? Lots of people.

That's the impact that the Bible is saying can take place, and the person who is put in charge of that is a father. He will bless him for it if he takes it serious, and we will get there in Psalm 112. He will bless him for it. He will expand his home and his legacy forever because of it. He would expand even his life in Psalm 128 because of it.

So there are tremendous blessings when a father takes this serious. But it's placed first on him because the word father here is the beginner. It's what it means. He is the one. The father here means with authority. He is the one that is called to leadership. He's the one, father, that is called to create a generation and legacy. This is what this word has in its meaning; it delineates itself out over and over again throughout scripture.

You go to God as a father, same thing as we talked about yesterday. He's impacted and developed a world on His decision to create Adam and Eve. So this is huge. He talks about father and mother from verse one through verse three, and the life of the child will be extended because of that respect for the parents, and how huge that was in the Jewish culture.

But in verse four, he comes to this person and he says this: "Provoke not your children." What does this word "provoke" mean? Get them mad? Yeah, that's fundamentally what it's implying, but it has a lot of different things attached to it in its connotation. And what he's saying is a parent can provoke a child when they are showing favoritism.

You see this with Isaac and the Jacob and Esau situation. This favoritism creates problems. You've got Sarah now loving on her son Isaac and doesn't want to be that engaged with Ishmael anymore. And then you have a problem that takes place. Two nations develop that don't necessarily totally get along to today.

So this favoritism can provoke. It can cause resentment to build up, bitterness to build up, where children go along for generations not talking to each other. Why? Because you were Dad's favorite, or you were Mom's favorite. And they kind of move away from one another because they think they're going to listen to you, they're not going to listen to me. And these kinds of tensions develop that cause even the children to be provoked by each other. Favoritism is one of the things that provoke a child.

There's another thing that provokes a child: it's just neglect. I've seen this happen many times when the child has a good stepfather. The child still longs for that father. They want to know why that father would just promise to come over, or promise to do this and don't do it, but then has a whole another family that they are so engaged with, but don't want to spend any time with them.

And even when they're with this other family, they're treated different. That child develops that resentment, that bitterness in their hearts. And sometimes it even determines how they turn out in how they move forward in their preferences in terms of who they pick to marry. So it continues into generations, just neglecting the child.

Obviously, abuse provokes. That's part of it here because the context leads us to understand that fathers had a lot of authority, a lot of power. And in the Roman culture, the father had complete authority as to what to do with the child. And at a certain age, the child just had to learn the trade from the father. So when you come to this father and look at all of the power he had on this child's life, it was easy for these situations to become abusive.

And that's why he's saying we do not abuse the child, meaning coming up with petty rules and then screaming at the child for not doing them. "When I walk in the house, what I expect you to do is to put my shoes right here." That's not what he's saying when it comes to training up a child.

Let me give you another petty rule that sometimes takes place that just irritates a child to death. "I want you to comb your hair this way. This is how you comb your hair. Don't comb it that way. That's how people comb it that are crazy. You comb it this way." The child never gets the chance to develop their own identity and their own personality because they're being demanded to comb it a certain way.

And if they don't comb it a certain way, then the father is upset. "Didn't I tell you to do this?" That's not what he's talking about. He didn't say control how the child combs their hair. That's not what he's talking about. To develop this child is to move the child from being a fool to being a child that is in love with God and wants to walk with God and wants to grow in Christ.

As a result of that, you have character development. As a result of that, you have a child that wants leadership. You have a child that is being discipled and is growing and maturing. It's a child that now has God's love in them, so they're going to love their parents and they're going to love their siblings.

That's what he's trying to do, because what is he saying? Genesis chapter one: "I made them male and female so they'd be fruitful and multiply my image throughout the earth." "I made them in my image, so they'd be fruitful and multiply so my image continues to spread throughout the earth." So the earth continues to experience Christ everywhere these children spread themselves out, wherever they go.

That's the whole focus of this and the influence of this. It's not about what the child is doing to me; it's what I am seeking to guide the child to be so that the child grows up and experiences all their spiritual gifts, and learns their talents and abilities that God has given them. The child learns their capabilities and how they operate. They learn what fathering or what being a submissive wife means. This child is growing up to multiply the image and the principles of God throughout the earth.

That's the major focus. So when it becomes, "Well, this is how you're going to wear your dress, and I'm going to get a ruler and check how far that dress is above the knee." We've got to study the word modesty and what does modesty mean in the Bible, rather than just do what the culture says modesty is. The father has to become that kind of teacher. And the Bible is saying that's why God gives that to him, or else it becomes abusive.

And some children grow up resenting the Bible because of it, because the parent just keeps throwing the Bible in their face saying, "This is what God says," but they don't do it. So there's no model in front of the child's life that the child could now learn to implement. That's why the Bible will say to disciples, "Go make disciples." That's why he would say, "Teach them to observe."

Pay attention to you, give them the information, let them have a model of how they can follow that and do what they're saying, and that way they are influenced to do it. That's why discipleship is life-to-life. So a child hearing the parent preach the Bible but not live it builds this provocation, a resentment towards going to church. "What am I going to church for? Why do I have to sit here?"

I remember struggling with that as a child. I had to sit next to my parents and I couldn't get it, and I was too scared to ask my dad, "What's the big deal?" But my mom approached it in such a manner that eventually it became irrelevant. But I remember having the struggle with that. Is there a verse for this rule? There's another thing that has to do with provocation: it's making sure that we are not doing things we know anger the child.

Don't forget now, we talked about this yesterday and we walked through this yesterday, that the child is born a fool. I'm sorry. I know that word fool maybe just not politically correct, but the Bible is the Bible. And I'm sorry that we may interpret that whatever way, but if the Bible says they're a fool, I am sorry. I am a pastor-teacher from the scriptures; they're a fool.

And we have to come to things and look at them the way the scriptures look at them. The truth is just the truth. It is not trying to make anybody mad; it's just the truth. And that's what the Bible is teaching. So when we're coming to this person, it is easy, if we're not following what he's saying in the rest of this verse, that we could develop an angry, bitter, resentful child that sometimes has nothing to do with the word of God, simply because they're hearing verses attached to these things that are angering them.

As fathers, many times we don't give our children a chance to ask questions. The minute the child starts asking questions, they're moving away from being a fool. Because a fool rejects knowledge, as I explained. A fool is not interested in information. The more information you give them, the more they become resentful of what you're saying.

So when a child starts to show interest, for whatever reason, my wife and I would never stop their questions. And I know they have millions of them, ten seconds of every moment of the day, but we encouraged it. As teenagers, they came to us with their questions, not their coach, not their teacher, because they were used to asking us questions and used to us interacting with them, used to us dealing with that.

I had a very good father. God's taken him home now. But one of the things I've learned was the patience for questions wasn't always there. With eight kids, I get it. With two kids, it sometimes wore me out. So can you imagine eight? So bring that within perspective. But he didn't, and I learned that I had so many questions.

My mom was such a great buffer that I could ask her all the questions I wanted, so I never had a need to ask anybody anything. Because if she didn't know, she'd say, "Son, I'll get back to you." And sure enough, she's sitting in my room saying, "This is what I found out." And that meant that I had no need to go anywhere to ask any questions.

And therefore my mother, along with the team she built around me at church, Sister Clark and other people, could shape my mind. They're going to ask a lot of questions, and that's a great step that a fool is moving from to become what God wants them to be. So be there so that the child is not provoked; the child is stimulated to become all that God brought them on this earth to be. Folks, we are wonderfully made, shaped by God for particular purposes. And you don't know who you're raising. Stay focused.

Guest (Male): Thank you, Reverend Cannings, for challenging us to call upon God and to put our trust in His word when we're parenting our children. Now to obtain a copy of this message, please give us a call at 281-260-7402. Again, that's 281-260-7402. You can also visit us online at powerwalkministries.org. And while you're there, you can learn more about our ministry and prayerfully consider becoming a Power Walk partner.

Paul Cannings: One of the hardest things in ministry is not actually doing ministry when God has blessed you to be this equipped, but it's to get the resources to get it done. Oh folks, that's the hardest. Now, we've stepped out in faith because we believe that, but we pray that God will touch your heart to partnership with us.

And you could do that simply by going to our website. It's a secure website, and pressing the donate button. And on that button, you will be able to become a partner with us and we will seek to bless you for being a blessing to us. I pray that God will move on your heart to be our partner. God bless you.

Guest (Male): So would you pray for us and also consider supporting us financially? Our goals are clear, and that is to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and to equip the body of believers. And as we close today, remember, fathers, God holds us responsible to manage our homes and shape the lives of our children in a God-honoring way.