Paws & Tales

Ned: Okay, Stace, I'm helping out today, so I'll direct you whenever you're ready.

Stacy: Hey everyone, Stacy here from Paws & Tales. We've had kids from all over the country send in their announcer recordings and they're heard every day on the program. But we haven't heard one from you!

Ned: Really good, Stace, but this time with a little more pathos, please.

Stacy: Oh, Ned.

Joel: Keep going, Stacy.

Stacy: Just head on over to pawsandtales.org and pop into the clubhouse to get one of the announcer scripts.

Ned: That's a good start, Stace, but I need some more sparkle, please. Give me more sparkle!

Stacy: I don't even know what that means. Record yourself on your parent's phone and send it into us so we can get your voice heard around the world. That's pawsandtales.org. This is so exciting!

Ned: Well, let's think about your motivation on this.

Joel: Great, Stacy. Good job. Stopping tape.

Ned: Wait! I'm directing this! Do not stop tape, Joel. Do not stop that tape!

Insight for Living (Host): Welcome to the world of Paws & Tales. Wild Mountain can be a pretty dangerous place. If you stay on the trails and stick with me, there are adventures to be had there, too.

Howdy and welcome to Wildwood. Ever been on a road trip that you thought would never end? That's the way CJ and Pawpaw Chuck feel right about now.

CJ: Watch out for the pothole!

Pawpaw Chuck: I can't get around it!

Insight for Living (Host): They are headed to a weekend of camping and hiking with all of Miss Harbor's class, but on the way, they have a delivery to make. A very large and heavy delivery.

CJ: Is the desk going to be okay?

Pawpaw Chuck: The desk is going to be fine. The truck can't take much more of this.

CJ: So why did they have you make such a big desk?

Pawpaw Chuck: I have no idea. I just got a letter and a check for about half the price. They'd seen one like it somewhere and they wanted one just like it, but twice the size.

CJ: And painted white.

Pawpaw Chuck: And painted white. I never heard of this guy. I don't know why he'd want such a big desk, and I don't know why he'd want it painted white. All I have is an address in the village of Pleasant Valley.

CJ: Pleasant Valley. That's nice. I don't know what it is about that name, but I think it's going to be real nice. Not exciting or anything, but nice. Kind of pleasant.

Pawpaw Chuck: Pleasant? That's it. Maybe you should walk back.

CJ: Hey look, Pleasant Valley five miles.

Pawpaw Chuck: Finally.

CJ: Hey, look down there. Wow, that's beautiful. Look at that church. Wow, it's perfect. It looks like it's out of a painting.

Pawpaw Chuck: I bet that's the church Pastor Flint told me about. I told him we were headed to Pleasant Valley and he said the best, most dynamic church he'd ever been to was here. That is quite a sight.

CJ: I don't care what anyone thinks. I bet it's real nice to live in Pleasant Valley. I bet they all go for lovely walks and buy enjoyable food at the happy store.

Pawpaw Chuck: What?

CJ: It's a long walk back.

Pawpaw Chuck: Pothole!

CJ: Hang on!

Insight for Living (Host): Well, when they got down to the village of Pleasant Valley, they found it to be not quite as pleasant as they thought it would be.

Pawpaw Chuck: Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to 2407 Maple Grove?

Tom: 2407? That's the big white church.

CJ: The one we saw from the road up there?

Tom: That's the one. You're bleeding. Are you okay?

Pawpaw Chuck: I'll be fine. I cut myself sawing wood. I just need to get over to the lighthouse. They'll fix me right up. Now what do you want to go to the big white church for?

CJ: You really call it the big white church?

Tom: It's what the Churchies call it themselves. They like it.

Pawpaw Chuck: I have a big desk to deliver, I guess, to the big white church.

Tom: Well, I hope you've already been paid.

Pawpaw Chuck: Yes, mostly. Why?

Tom: Because everyone who deals with the Churchies has been stiffed at one time or another.

Pawpaw Chuck: The Churchies?

Tom: Yeah, it's what we call them. They wear these white robes and almost talk in another language. They're just so weird.

Guest (Male): Yeah, weird.

Tom: You'd be more likely to get paid if you were delivering to Dodgy Street.

Guest (Male): That's the truth. They certainly don't care how pure you've been.

Guest (Male): No, they do not.

CJ: What's Dodgy Street?

Tom: It's just the part of town where the unsavory types gather.

Guest (Male): Unsavory? How very genteel of you. It's where the liars and thieves spend their time. You don't want to find yourselves there in the dark, or any time.

Pawpaw Chuck: Can you tell me how to get to the church? We need to be there by 9:00. The letter says that they only take deliveries at 9:00. I thought it was some kind of business.

Tom: We told you they're weird. Okay, okay. You just go down the street there a bit until you find...

Insight for Living (Host): So Pawpaw Chuck, CJ, and the big white desk all headed to the big white church in the middle of town.

CJ: Those guys sure didn't seem to think much of Pastor Flint's favorite church.

Pawpaw Chuck: That's for sure. Maybe it's just them. The whole town can't think that way about the church.

CJ: What is that?

Pawpaw Chuck: Wow. That's a big wall.

CJ: This is the entrance to the church? It looks like a castle wall. A real white, tall castle wall.

Pawpaw Chuck: Well, let's go see if they're home. Hey there, how's it going?

Guest (Male): Hey yourself. You got a delivery, too? I got payment upfront this time. You?

Pawpaw Chuck: Just half.

Guest (Male): Oh. Well, you make it lucky. Delivered here before?

Pawpaw Chuck: No.

Guest (Male): Well, the Churchies, they're nuts. It's already past 9:00. We're late. Can you give me a hand here?

Pawpaw Chuck: Sure.

Guest (Male): I was talking to some of the boys at the cafe. Got to telling stories. We started cracking jokes and laughing, and I lost all track of time.

CJ: What'd you make there?

Guest (Male): This is a bit of irony. They asked me to make them a 12-foot long "Welcome Visitors" sign.

CJ: Why is it a bit of irony?

Insight for Living (Host): As they stood looking at the huge white, drawbridge-sized gate, they heard someone rattling around on the other side attempting to open a normal-sized door within the huge gate. The top half of that door swung open and a wolf wearing a white robe poked his head out to see who had knocked.

Churchy Wolf: Announce thyself.

Guest (Male): It's old Tom. I have the welcome sign.

Churchy Wolf: Thy tardiness is extreme.

Tom: I know I'm late, but I was having a sweet session of prayer and I lost track of time.

CJ: But you just said—

Tom: Hey, son, how about you stay quiet there and help me with the back end of this sign?

Churchy Wolf: Very well. While the door's ajar, pass it through.

Tom: Good. In fact, I'll just carry it in for you.

Churchy Wolf: Thou wilt remain where thou art.

Tom: I'm just messing with you. Here it comes.

Churchy Wolf: Got it.

Guest (Male): Got it, sir.

Guest (Male): Got it, sir. Close the door.

Churchy Wolf: Nice doing business with you. Good luck there.

Pawpaw Chuck: Thanks.

Churchy Wolf: Announce thyself.

Pawpaw Chuck: I have a delivery, a desk.

Churchy Wolf: Dost thou?

Pawpaw Chuck: If you just open the gate or drawbridge or whatever you call it, I'll drive it in.

Churchy Wolf: Thou wilt not drive it in.

Pawpaw Chuck: The desk is too big to get in through the door. You need to open the gate.

Churchy Wolf: This gate has not been opened for no less than a hundred years, Brother James. Lo, these 100 years.

Pawpaw Chuck: Look, I have a letter here. Someone has ordered this desk. Perchance the pastor?

Churchy Wolf: Indeed, 'tis him.

Pawpaw Chuck: Well, then, let me talk it over with him so we can get this delivery, so I can get the rest of my payment.

Churchy Wolf: None but the brethren of our church or those desiring to join us pass these gates.

Pawpaw Chuck: Why would anyone want to? I was asked to build a desk. I did. I was asked to deliver the desk. I have. Now I need you to take it and pay me for my work. Driving it in would be the best course of action. I would have to agree.

Churchy Wolf: However, it is plain to see that thou art neither humble enough nor pure enough to enter yourself.

Pawpaw Chuck: I can't come into your church because I'm not pure enough? Just plain for all to see. Unbelievable.

Alexia: Hi, I'm Alexia from Arizona, and I love listening to Paws & Tales when I'm getting ready for bed. Oh, and my parents listen, too!

Stacy: Hey everyone, Stacy here from Paws & Tales. We've had kids from all over the country send in their announcer recordings and they're heard every day on the program. But we haven't heard one from you! Just head on over to pawsandtales.org and pop into the clubhouse to get one of the announcer scripts. Record yourself on your parent's phone and send it into us so we can get your voice heard around the world. That's pawsandtales.org. This is so exciting!

Pawpaw Chuck: I've failed your purity test?

Churchy Wolf: You cannot come in. You can leave your delivery and we'll bring it in after you have left. I will alert the pastor that his desk is here and you can come back in an hour to receive the rest of your payment if the work is up to his standards.

Pawpaw Chuck: This is nuts. I'm not leaving the desk. I'll bring it back in one hour. Tell your pastor that I expect the rest of the payment. Then he can have the desk. What kind of church is this?

Insight for Living (Host): So Pawpaw Chuck and CJ went back into the village to get a bite to eat and waited out in the village square.

CJ: Everybody thinks this church is nutty.

Pawpaw Chuck: I don't get it. Pastor Flint would never go to a church like that.

Baker: Fresh bread! Hot out of the oven!

CJ: Oh, hey, I want some bread.

Pawpaw Chuck: Good idea. Here's some money. I'll go get us some milk and some cheese. Be right back.

CJ: Over here! I'd like a loaf of bread.

Baker: Good for you, my boy. 30 cents, please.

CJ: Here you go. Oh, boy, here come the Churchies.

Baker: Enjoy the bread, son. Fresh bread, hot out of the oven! Fresh bread!

Insight for Living (Host): As CJ was sitting on a bench waiting for Pawpaw Chuck and digging into the bread, he saw a group of strange animals coming into the village square. They were wearing snowy white robes, sandals, and each one of them had a big white bag hanging over their shoulder.

CJ watched the Churchies move around the village square attempting to talk to folks. Without exception, the villagers ignored them, acted like they were invisible, or worse, they treated them rudely and with contempt.

Guest (Male): Get out of the way, Churchy. Some of us have to make a living.

Insight for Living (Host): The Churchies took it all in stride as if they'd expected to be treated this way from the beginning. They just spread out and tried to begin conversations with others. Then three of them came up to talk to CJ.

St. Marion: Greetings, suitable lad.

CJ: Who, me?

St. Marion: I am Saint Marion. This is Saint Manuel and Saint Bernard.

CJ: Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

St. Bernard: Alas! We do not shake hands.

CJ: Oh, sorry. Why not?

St. Bernard: 'Tis our aim and privilege to pursue purity of every sort.

CJ: Oh, I just washed.

St. Bernard: Dost thou knowest the Redeemer and the Lamb?

CJ: The who? Lamb?

St. Manuel: The bright and morning star.

CJ: I have no idea what you're talking about.

St. Manuel: The great cornerstone on whom all eternity is built.

CJ: Jesus? Are you asking me if I know Jesus?

St. Manuel: 'Tis my query indeed, for without him, thou art condemned to both fire and brimstone, for thy sins are an abomination that riseth to the heavens.

CJ: Why are you talking that way?

St. Manuel: 'Tis the speech of the saints of the big white church.

CJ: You call it the big white church? I thought that's just what the villagers called it because they were making fun.

St. Manuel: Anon, it has been called the big white church for generations. It is a symbol of purity and godliness to all the village.

CJ: Do you really live in there?

St. Manuel: 'Tis been my solace and my home for all of my 17 years. Boy, knowest thou the Redeemer? Knowest thou the Redeemer?

CJ: Oh, yeah. I'm a Christian.

St. Bernard: He's a Christian, Saint Bernard. Already a Christian. Oh, look yonder, good saints. I perceive two other targets. This one, though rough and impure, is a believer. Let us move on to these others.

St. Marion: Saint Bernard, I will tarry here for a while yet.

St. Manuel: Are you comfortable with our leaving you here alone?

St. Marion: Indeed, Saint Manuel.

St. Manuel: Very well, then. Good day, boy. And I leave you with a blessing.

CJ: Oh, thanks. My name is CJ.

St. Manuel: We will meetest thou at the church entrance when the bell tolls. When the bell tolls.

St. Marion: Saint Manuel's blessings are greatly to be desired.

CJ: That's very nice of him. I can barely take it all in.

St. Marion: Take what in? That I'm actually out here in the village? Free to proclaim the truth? I have waited a long time to begin my ministry of the lost.

CJ: Watch out! Whoa! You almost stepped right in the mud.

St. Marion: Thank you, CJ. Why do they allow this road to be so, so muddy and foul?

CJ: I don't know. Guess it rained last night. It's just a road. Roads are muddy and foul.

St. Marion: Even as a believer, dost thou knowest the depth of thy iniquities?

CJ: I'm having a hard time understanding you. Could you just talk normally?

St. Marion: 'Tis the speech of our tradition.

CJ: Well, maybe you should talk like that to each other, but no one outside of your church has any idea what you're talking about.

St. Marion: I have thought of that very thing myself. Have a seat. It's a big bench. Oh, I think that might be too familiar.

CJ: I don't know what that means, but it would be more comfortable and more friendly.

St. Marion: Well, perhaps for just a moment. Oh, nuts!

CJ: Don't you mean oh, nutseth?

St. Marion: I am so sorry for my display of anger. I have always struggled with my temper.

CJ: Don't worry about it. Just shows you're normal.

St. Marion: Saint Teresa says my temper and independence will be the cause of my ruination.

CJ: Ruination? That's bad.

St. Marion: Of course. It would have to be bad. Oh, 'tis bad. Here, hold my bag for a moment.

CJ: Whoa! What do you have in this thing? You just happen to have a needle and thread with you?

St. Marion: Our robes are very important. They are an outward sign of our devotion, of our accomplishments in the kingdom of God, and of our purity. It is our purity that attracts the lost.

CJ: I really haven't seen that yet. What do you have on? Open thine eyes. You're wearing overalls under your white robe?

St. Marion: You must tell this to no one. I was working in the garden, and the next thing I knew, it was time to go and bear witness. I didn't have time to change. I try so hard.

CJ: Don't worry. I'm not sure who I'd tell anyway. So how often do you come out?

St. Marion: If we remain pure and stay current in our studies and accomplishments, just twice a year to bear witness.

CJ: Twice a year? You come out only twice a year to invite visitors?

St. Marion: No. We're not just inviting visitors. I am questing to spread the good yeast of the bread of life.

CJ: What is "nay, verily"? It means no? See, that's just what I was talking about before. And what is the yeast? Are you wanting to bake?

St. Marion: No. I want to give testimony. I want to tell the villagers about Jesus and how he died for their sins. This has been my heart's desire for years. There is nothing I want to do more.

CJ: That's a good thing, Saint Marion. I can't call you Saint. Do they really call you that?

St. Marion: Only if you have prepared for years and achieved certain goals. I have studied and trained earnestly, and now I am ready to go spread the news of the word that saves.

Baker: Fresh bread! Hot out of the oven! Fresh bread! Hot out of the oven!

St. Marion: Good sir, I long for such.

Baker: You what?

CJ: She wants to buy some bread. Sorry. How much, sir?

St. Marion: Oh, nuts! My bag.

CJ: Let me help. Whoa, look at all the stuff in your bag. I guess the big white church pays pretty well.

St. Marion: What? This is a lot of money. I just... nothing. I have saved my money for years so that I could just—

CJ: Just kid. We do that out here. You brought all of your money just to be here for an afternoon?

Baker: Well, here is one of my best loaves of fresh bread, missy. That'll be $3.00.

St. Marion: $3.00 it is, good baker.

CJ: What are you trying to pull?

Baker: What? Come on, kid, work with me.

CJ: Don't pay him $3.00 for bread. He's cheating you. 30 cents. A loaf of bread is 30 cents.

Baker: Fine. Choke on it, Churchy.

St. Marion: That nefarious rapscallion!

CJ: You mean the dirty cheat?

St. Marion: The dirty cheat!

CJ: Well done. You don't know the first thing about the villagers, do you? Don't say nay, verily.

St. Marion: I don't. I've never been out before.

CJ: They don't seem to like you very much.

St. Marion: No, they don't, do they? We want others to be pure like us. To be pure is the highest goal. We, my church, we want to be pure, too.

CJ: But oh, this is confusing. I just never really thought of purity as being so annoying.

St. Marion: We strive to be Christ-like in all that we do.

CJ: I didn't mean to—

St. Marion: You have no idea how hard we have worked to separate ourselves.

Insight for Living (Host): While they stood in the village square talking, a badger was watching from the shadows. When Marion stood up, he came running out of his hiding place. He shoved Marion from behind while he grabbed her bag.

Badger Thief: Gotcha! Thanks, Churchy!

Insight for Living (Host): And Saint Marion fell face-first into the mud on the side of the road as the thief ran off with her bag in his hand.

St. Marion: Stop! What are you doing?

Stacy: Wait, don't stop the program yet! We'll be right back.

Haley: Hi, I'm Haley from Georgia. One of the many reasons I love Paws & Tales is Ned the beaver. He just cracks me up.

Ned: We have some parents with me today that would love to tell you what they think about the fun, the biblical teaching, and the music of Paws & Tales. Go right ahead, please.

Female Parent: I love that Paws & Tales is fun for kids and parents. I kind of expect my kids to learn from the episodes, but so do we.

Ned: I love that! Now, don't miss an episode of Paws & Tales right here on this amazing station.

Insight for Living (Host): While Marion was still pushing up out of the mud, another animal, a large timber wolf, sprang out, swinging a staff over his head. In one graceful motion, he swung one end of that staff behind the legs of the would-be thief, knocking him to the ground.

With the other end, he hooked the shoulder strap of the stolen bag, and he held it up like a prized fish on a pole.

CJ: Whoa! Did you see that?

Pawpaw Chuck: Whoa! What, what was that?

Insight for Living (Host): As Marion wiped the mud from her eyes, the only thing she saw was a timber wolf holding her bag on the end of a stick.

St. Marion: You black-hearted beast! Give me my bag!

CJ: No, Marion, he's not the one—

St. Marion: Give me my bag, or I will tear you to pieces!

CJ: Marion, he's the one who got—

St. Marion: Give me my bag!

Timber Wolf: Here's your bag.

St. Marion: Consider thyself most fortunate, thou vile being.

CJ: Wait, I'm sorry. She just didn't see.

Timber Wolf: She will.

St. Marion: Such malicious devilry! Dirty, rotten thief!

CJ: He got your bag back for you. It's the other one who took it.

St. Marion: Oh. Look at me. I'm covered with mud from head to foot. Now no one will perceive me as a pure and devoted follower of Christ.

CJ: It might just be a good idea to get rid of that robe anyway. Wearing that thing has been kind of like wearing a sign that says, "Kick me."

St. Marion: I would never! First a tear, and now it's covered with mud and who knows what else. I am in so much trouble with the elders. The villagers will no longer hold me in high regard looking like this.

CJ: You don't get it, do you? The villagers don't hold any of you in high regard. From what I've seen, they don't hold you in any regard at all.

Look, I'm not an expert here, but if you want to tell the villagers about Jesus, you need to know what they like and don't like, and what they think about things, what they need.

St. Marion: They need the Redeemer in their hearts.

CJ: They do need Jesus. That's true. But they don't know what a Redeemer is. I have a feeling you know a bunch about the Bible.

But do you know that the villagers mostly think you're all nuts? They don't like you. They don't like your church. I don't think they want to listen to anything you have to say.

St. Marion: You offend me, sir. I am learned and righteous. We of the big white church value purity above all the virtues. We have kept out the evil influence of the world so that we may be more pleasing to God.

I am pure of heart and I am armed with the truth. That is all I need to know. Good day, thou voice of doubt and confusion.

CJ: All I'm saying is that the truth won't matter if no one knows what you're talking about! Good grief.

St. Marion: The Lord will see that His will is done. And I will do it on His behalf.

CJ: The bell tolls. Yeah, I guess you got to go back.

St. Marion: Today, I am 18 years old and I have set my course anew. I will stay on the outside world and bear witness to the Lion of Judah. I am not going back to the big white church ever.

Insight for Living (Host): To order a copy of today's program, "The Problem with Purity, Part 1", just log on to pawsandtales.org. "The Problem with Purity, Part 1" was written and directed by David Carl.

The song "Crazy Apes" was written by Sandy Howell and Shelley Spady. Music was by Tim Hosman, and our sound designer was Jerry Swafford. Paws & Tales is an Insight for Living production.

Guest (Male): I once believed that I should be more proper than the rest. Formalities and boundaries, I thought they were God's best. I'd go about spouting things like thee and thou and those. But my attitude and all those words, they were really for the birds, because God's love didn't show.

I've got to relate, not hibernate. Communicate and demonstrate God's perfect love. If my vocabulary's dated, well, of course they're irritated and think it's only me I'm thinking of.

I've got to relate, not separate. Reciprocate the things that God has done for me. Because if my actions illustrated, it won't need to be translated. I've got to relate that it's God who's great. All talk and no walk won't get you very far. All they'll hear is yak-yak-yak and blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

I've got to relate, incorporate. Not aggravate or suffocate, just share the news. There is no need to complicate it like I'm so sophisticated. I've got to relate that it's God who's great.

I've got to relate. There's no debate. Oh no, it's not too late for me to lend a helping hand. Don't let my heart procrastinate or become refrigerated. Instead, be motivated to expand.

I've got to relate, not hesitate. I won't wait to dedicate my life to serving those in need. So may my ego be deflated as His love is punctuated. I've got to relate that it's God who's great.

No, I will not contaminate it, but instead authenticate it. I've got to relate that it's God who's great. Because if my life will demonstrate, someone might just contemplate. I've got to relate that it's God who's great.