Paws & Tales

Dave: I am ready, Ned.

Ned: No, Dave, I have an idea.

Dave: No, Ned, just do the script.

Ned: No, I have it, Dave. Beatnik poetry. Coloring sheets, happy and free, picture of the others, but mostly of Ned.

Dave: That is so weird. Ned, stop. Download a free character coloring sheet for your kids. There are more cast members to come, so check in weekly.

Ned: Relax, Dave. Relax. Relax is Dave. Ned, is that a beret? Where did you get a beret? Download a beautiful map of Wildwood, also for free. Is it a map of Wildwood or is it life? A map.

Dave: You're starting to freak me out, Ned. Just log on to pawsandtales.org for these fun things and more.

Ned: Pawsandtales.org. Happiness, or is happiness pawsandtales.org? So hard to know.

Dave: That's it. Joel, stop tape.

Insight for Living: Welcome to the world of Paws & Tales. Land ho! We're coming into the port of Wildwood. Wild Mountain can be a pretty dangerous place. But if you stay on the trails and stick with me, there's adventures to be had there, too.

Inside for Living is proud to present Paws & Tales.

Howdy, and welcome to Wildwood. Right now, at James T. Collins Elementary, it's every kid's favorite part of the school day: recess. But for little Sammy Hawthorne, recess means only one thing: misery.

You see, Sammy's dad works for Mr. Rockler, Tiffany's father, and she will not let Sammy forget that fact for one moment.

Guest (Female): But when the boxes arrived, they did not look anything like they did in the catalog. How can they do that? It should be against the law or something. Sammy, my books.

Guest (Male): Sorry, they just slipped.

Guest (Female): Well, collect the papers. Make sure they're in order and brush the dirt off. Just leave them on my desk when you catch up. We're not waiting.

Guest (Male): Oh, sure. I'll just be a minute. Hey, CJ.

Guest (Male): I can't believe what I just heard. Carry your own books, Tiffany. Sammy, kickball's starting. Come on.

Guest (Female): This is none of your business, CJ Brown. Sammy wants to carry my books. Sammy?

Guest (Male): Well, I would want to go play kickball.

Guest (Male): Then let's play kickball.

Guest (Female): Take one step, Sammy Hawthorne. Your father.

Guest (Male): Your father what?

Guest (Male): He got a job as Mr. Rockler's driver. She says she can fire him if I don't do what she says.

Guest (Male): That's ridiculous. What 11-year-old can fire an adult? Come on, recess is half over.

Guest (Female): Sammy Hawthorne, this is my last warning.

Guest (Male): CJ's right. Here's your books, Tiffany. Get yourself another slave. I'm holding up the game.

Guest (Female): Oh, Sammy. Tiffany, don't. Sammy Hawthorne, you will rue the day.

Guest (Male): So then they said, "We need you in Frontera by tomorrow morning."

Guest (Female): In the morning? Tomorrow morning?

Guest (Male): Or he tells me we'll have to find another lawyer.

Guest (Female): Who do they think they are? I'd like to know. This shows no respect, not for you, not for this family.

Guest (Male): Nancy, you're absolutely right.

Guest (Female): How can you be so calm?

Guest (Male): Well, Mrs. Brown, I have no choice. I'd better get going. CJ, on your way to school, I need you to drop off these papers to Mr. Yusef at the hotel. I won't be back until tomorrow afternoon.

Guest (Male): All right. What's it like riding the train at night? Is it really fun?

Guest (Male): Fun? No, it is not fun. Listen, don't forget those papers. I got to run.

Guest (Male): Excuse me, Mr. Yusef.

Guest (Male): Good morning.

Guest (Male): CJ Brown, Mr. Yusef. Theo Brown's son.

Guest (Male): Oh, yes, of course.

Ned: Hi, I'm Ned.

Guest (Male): CJ Brown, what can I do for you?

Ned: Okie dokie then.

Guest (Male): My dad asked me to stop by and give you these papers. He said they were important.

Guest (Male): Very good. Thank you. Excuse me.

Guest (Male): Top of the morning to you, Mr. Yusef. Got her all gassed up, ready for another drive on the highway of life. Hey, CJ, Ned. Sammy couldn't stop talking about that kickball game the other day.

Guest (Male): Mr. Hawthorne.

Guest (Male): Yes, Mr. Yusef.

Guest (Male): It is my duty to inform you that your services as a driver will no longer be required.

Guest (Male): Excuse me?

Guest (Male): You've been released, Mr. Hawthorne. Please leave the keys in the car.

Guest (Male): But I—

Guest (Male): That will be all.

Guest (Male): Maybe the others took it quietly, but I'm not. You haven't heard the last of me, Yusef. You can count on that.

Guest (Male): So you were wondering what 11-year-old could fire an adult?

Guest (Male): She couldn't have. No one would listen to—

Guest (Female): Get a load of this. The princess and her new chauffeur. And be sure to pick me up at three. I do not want to be standing around waiting for you.

Guest (Male): Yes, Miss Tiffany.

Guest (Female): Oh, CJ, Ned, I didn't notice you. Need a lift?

Guest (Male): Not in a thousand years. CJ, it's a limousine.

Guest (Male): It's a limousine with Tiffany.

Guest (Male): Right. Not in 2,000 years.

Guest (Female): Suit yourself. Have a nice walk, Friedrich.

Guest (Female): Oh, Sammy, here. This is your dad's sweater. He left it in the car. Be a dear and return it to him, won't you?

Guest (Male): Just give it to him when he picks you up.

Guest (Female): My new driver is picking me up today. New driver? Your father was released this morning.

Guest (Male): Fired?

Guest (Female): That's a rather coarse way to say it.

Guest (Male): You fired my dad? But CJ said—

Guest (Female): CJ is a bit out of his league.

Guest (Male): Hey, Sammy. Hey, Sammy, wait up. Sammy. You said an 11-year-old couldn't fire an adult, CJ. You said she was bluffing. Sammy, CJ, you said it would be all right. She fired my dad.

Guest (Male): Sammy, I don't know what to say.

Guest (Male): I've got to go home. How could she be so mean?

Guest (Male): I'm going to put little Miss Rockler in her place once and for all.

Insight for Living: That afternoon, Ned and CJ plotted and schemed as they formed their plans for revenge on Tiffany.

Guest (Male): I'm thinking serious artillery here. Spitballs, pea shooters, rubber bands. Just bomb Tiffany to tears right in front of the whole school.

Guest (Male): Got to be more. We need to get her where it hurts. Where it hurts. How about we—hey, there's your dad.

Guest (Male): Where?

Guest (Male): Coming out of the hotel. Yeah, come on. Dad! Hey, Dad, over here.

Guest (Male): Hi, son. Hey, Ned.

Guest (Male): What you doing?

Guest (Male): I just had a meeting with Mr. Rockler. This is unbelievable.

Guest (Male): What is?

Guest (Male): Son, those papers I asked you to drop off this morning. They were land contracts for Mr. Rockler's new house. He's impressed with my work. He wants me to join his legal team.

Guest (Male): A job? You're going to work for Tiffany's dad?

Guest (Male): This is remarkable. Just remarkable. I'll see you at dinner, son. Bye, Ned.

Guest (Male): My dad working for Rockler.

Guest (Male): Hi, I'm Joseph from Santa Paula, California. One of the many reasons I love Paws & Tales is Ned the beaver. He just cracks me up.

Ned: Ned the Beaver here. Did you know that we have a big blank wall in the clubhouse that needs to get filled up? So how about this, parents? Take a photo of your child listening to Paws & Tales wherever they happen to listen.

It could be comfy places, funny places. You know we'd love to see them. And I will personally post these photos on that blank wall for all to see. I've got some tape right here. Just send them in to pawsandtales.org. This is so fun.

Insight for Living: That night, CJ hardly slept a wink. The next morning, he met Ned and Sammy on the playground to tell them his plan.

Guest (Male): I don't have a plan.

Guest (Male): You don't have a plan? You have to have a plan.

Guest (Male): Relax, okay? I'll get a plan.

Guest (Male): It better be a good one, too. My dad told me there are a lot of people Tiffany has already fired: the cook, the maid, the butler, the nanny.

Guest (Male): CJ, this is bad.

Guest (Male): There is no way I can let my dad take this job.

Guest (Male): That's fine for you, but what about the kids with parents already working for Rockler? Here she comes. She's got to be stopped.

Guest (Female): Thank you, Friedrich.

Guest (Male): Welcome, Miss. And it's Fredrick.

Guest (Female): I will call you Friedrich. You may go now.

Guest (Male): Good day, Miss.

Guest (Female): Hi, Tiffany. Love your shoes.

Guest (Female): Good morning, Lily. Thank you. Peter, carry these for me, would you?

Guest (Male): Me? Well, sure. Me?

Guest (Female): Yes, Peter. Your mother has been doing some really wonderful work for my father. She's quite a seamstress.

Guest (Male): Oh, okay.

Guest (Male): Don't do it, Peter.

Guest (Female): Good morning, CJ. I've heard some really exciting news about your father. This could be the best job he's ever had. And how fun it'll be when you are carrying my books. There is no way. Let's go in, Lily. I've just received a whole stack of—

Guest (Male): You know, it's not that she's just rotten when she wants to be. She's rotten when she doesn't even mean to be. She's just gotten so good at it. It comes easy to her now. Well, it's going to get a lot harder for her and soon.

Guest (Male): You got one? You got a plan? CJ, you got a plan?

Guest (Male): I got a plan. Our strength is in our numbers. Tiffany needs to be told off in front of everyone. So let's split up and spread the word. Have everyone come to school early tomorrow.

When Tiffany steps out of her limo, we will all be waiting. I'll tell her how it is, how she's been rotten, and it will end here. And she'll be embarrassed. She'll be embarrassed. That's the worst thing that there is for her. You are going to bring her down.

Insight for Living: That night, CJ stayed in his room rehearsing his big speech against Tiffany until well after his bedtime. Then, on his way to the kitchen for a late-night snack, he overheard his parents talking.

Guest (Female): It's worse than I thought. Are you sure we did the math correctly?

Guest (Male): I double-checked it. Between my law school loans, the mortgage, these past-due bills, we're in some serious debt here. And with what I've been making, we may never be able to pay all these bills.

Guest (Female): I thought we were doing fine. Obviously, the job with Mr. Rockler would increase our income. But you've been working so hard to build up your own practice. With Rockler, you would just be one more lawyer.

Guest (Male): You know, my practice here has been little more than filing papers with the county. But with Rockler, I'd be part of a team. I could do the kind of work I've wanted to do for years.

Guest (Female): Well, then this is about more than just the money.

Guest (Male): Honey, it is. Rockler wants to bring big changes to Wildwood and this is my chance to play a role in the town's future, our future.

Guest (Female): Then I can't really see a downside to this. You won't have to travel. And after all the sacrifices you've made for us—

Guest (Male): We're a family. That's what families do. This might just be the answer to our prayers.

Guest (Female): I think you've just made your case. Congratulations, honey. Here's to Theo Brown, the best lawyer Rockler has ever hired.

Guest (Male): We really need this. And Dad really wants it. This has got to be a bad dream.

Insight for Living: Well, the next morning, Ned, Sammy, and a crowd of kids were waiting to watch CJ go toe-to-toe with Tiffany and put her in her place once and for all.

Guest (Male): CJ's here. I told you he'd be here. You were almost late, CJ. Ned, this is going to be so good. Ned, I need to tell you—here comes the limo. Here she comes.

Guest (Female): Whatever is going on here? Right. CJ, what is this?

Guest (Male): Well, those—

Guest (Female): Uh-huh.

Guest (Male): Those books of yours, I'd be happy to carry them for you.

Guest (Male): What? CJ!

Guest (Female): Well, of course, CJ. That would be so nice of you. Such a lovely morning, don't you think? Lovely. And CJ, put them on my desk. Lily, very pretty dress. I can't believe this. Something's gone very bad here, very bad.

Guest (Male): What were you thinking?

Guest (Male): I had to. It's my dad's dream job. The answer to my parents' prayers.

Guest (Male): Do you know how long it's going to take to live this down? Months, maybe years.

Guest (Male): I had no choice.

Guest (Male): Well, there's an easy way out of this though. Just go to your dad and tell him.

Guest (Male): I'm not going to tell him anything. I can do this for my dad.

Guest (Male): She's going to run you into the ground. She's got something to prove with you. This is not going to be pretty.

Guest (Male): No, it's not.

Insight for Living: A week after CJ's painful and humiliating surrender, Tiffany was still at it, working that poor cub like a puppet on a string and loving every minute of it. She even had CJ coming over to the hotel before school.

Guest (Male): Morning, Tiffany.

Guest (Female): CJ, my books are on the table. If you would just put them in that for me.

Guest (Male): In the pink bag?

Guest (Female): It just came in. Don't you just love it?

Guest (Male): I am not carrying a pink book bag.

Guest (Female): Excuse me?

Guest (Male): Hey, CJ, you in here? I told you I'd be right out. Wait, we're going to be late. What is that pink thing?

Guest (Female): I'm off. Please leave it on my desk when you get to school. She's going to school in the limo and she makes you carry her books while you walk?

Guest (Male): I know, Ned. Don't you think I know? Got to go find something to cover up this pink thing with. Meet you out front.

Guest (Male): No, this is too much, even for Tiffany. Oh, hi, Mr. Brown.

Guest (Male): Oh, hi, Ned. I thought CJ was here.

Guest (Male): He just left.

Guest (Male): Ned?

Guest (Male): Yes, sir?

Guest (Male): Is CJ all right?

Guest (Male): Seems fine to me.

Guest (Male): He's not been himself. Won't talk to me about it. And I just thought you might have some idea. You do, don't you?

Guest (Male): Well—

Guest (Male): Ned?

Guest (Male): You see, it's like this.

Insight for Living: The day only got worse for poor old CJ. Tiffany had him sharpen her pencils, had him save her a seat at lunch, then made him go off and sit somewhere else. Tiffany was working a well-thought-out plan to embarrass and humiliate CJ. After this, she knew that no one would ever stand up to her again.

Guest (Female): You're late.

Guest (Male): I walked as fast as I could, okay?

Guest (Female): I think you dawdled.

Guest (Male): You think what you want.

Guest (Female): What?

Guest (Male): Nothing.

Guest (Female): No, you snapped at me. That is disrespectful, and it will not happen again. Understood? Understood?

Guest (Male): No.

Guest (Female): I beg your pardon?

Guest (Male): I said no. You are not the Queen of Sheba. You are a spoiled rotten little girl who treats people like dirt because no one likes her. Carry your own books.

Guest (Female): You will rue the day that you said that. Mark this day in your calendar, CJ Brown. Mark it down so you will never forget. This is the day that you got your father fired from the best job he will ever have.

Guest (Male): Okay, wait a minute.

Guest (Female): I am a Rockler. You will see what happens when you defy a Rockler.

Guest (Male): I'm sorry. Oh, no. What have I done?

Guest (Male): Hi, I'm Josiah from Frisco, Texas. You know what I like to listen to the most? Paws & Tales, of course. There is more Paws & Tales coming right up.

Ned: Hey, everyone. Pop over to pawsandtales.org and download one of the radio scripts we have there. Record yourself on your parents' phone reading it like you're a real actor.

Then, just have your parents go to pawsandtales.org and head on into the clubhouse and upload it there. We'll use some of them inside an actual episode. Let's start your new career as a radio announcer to the world.

Guest (Female): Yusef, I'd like a word.

Guest (Male): Yes, Miss Tiffany.

Guest (Female): There is another employee that needs to be dismissed at once.

Guest (Male): Is there? I am pleased to inform you that I no longer handle such matters.

Guest (Female): What?

Guest (Male): My responsibilities have been reassigned. You'll have to see your father.

Guest (Female): Then I will go and see my father.

Guest (Male): In conclusion, gentlemen, I'll be looking forward to our meeting and so on and so forth, etc., etc. Sincerely yours—

Guest (Female): Father, I need to talk with you.

Guest (Male): Tiffany, I'm dictating a letter.

Guest (Female): This is very important.

Guest (Male): What is this about?

Guest (Female): I have an issue with one of your employees. Yusef said that he no longer—

Guest (Male): Enough, enough. Mrs. Tucker, who do I talk to about staff issues? Send him in, please.

Guest (Female): It's just that usually I would go to Yusef, but now—

Guest (Male): Yusef has been promoted. He no longer has time to be dealing with staff.

Guest (Male): Yes, sir.

Guest (Female): Mr. Brown?

Guest (Male): Theo, Tiffany has a staffing issue that she would like to discuss with you.

Guest (Male): Certainly, Mr. Rockler. If you'll just follow me into my office, Tiffany.

Guest (Female): Father, I—

Guest (Male): I'm sure we can correct any issues you may have, Tiffany. I was just in the middle of a meeting, so if you wouldn't mind sitting here for a minute or so, I'll be right with you. What? Who? Why are all these people here?

Guest (Male): I believe you know these folks, Tiffany. Your former cook, former maid, former butler, former nanny.

Guest (Female): I know who they are.

Guest (Male): Right. And they were all fired without cause. And I'm hiring them back.

Guest (Female): But—

Guest (Male): If you'll just give me a few minutes, I'll be right with you.

Guest (Female): That can't—I won't be—

Insight for Living: Well, Tiffany stormed out of the hotel. She was a mighty frustrated 11-year-old, and there was only one thing to do when she got this way, so she headed directly for the limo.

Guest (Female): Friedrich, I'm going shopping. Take me downtown.

Guest (Male): Sorry, Tiffany. Fredrick has been reassigned. Hey, Sammy, come on. Get in.

Guest (Female): Mr. Hawthorne? But—

Guest (Male): Hey, Dad. Oh, and you should also know that there has been a change in policy. The limousine is now reserved exclusively for Mr. Rockler and his staff, which means you'll be walking to school with the rest of the children from now on.

Guest (Female): What?

Guest (Male): I'm heading off. I have a pickup at the train depot.

Guest (Female): But this can't be. I always—

Guest (Male): Well, downtown is just a short stroll. Let's go, Pop. I'm going to help with the luggage.

Guest (Male): CJ, you should be in school.

Guest (Male): Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I did something bad. I just got so angry. Listen to me, CJ. I still have my job.

Guest (Male): You do?

Guest (Male): Yes. And you no longer have to answer to Tiffany.

Guest (Male): Why?

Guest (Male): CJ, Tiffany's behavior, it's called blackmail. I've taken care of everything. You won't have to worry about Tiffany lording it over you or any of the other kids.

Guest (Male): Wow. You still have your job.

Guest (Male): I do. And your behavior— although misguided, you were making a great sacrifice for me.

Guest (Male): Well, I thought that she could just fire you just by—

Guest (Male): No, no, no. You should have come to me. We're a family. We work things out together. That's what families do.

Guest (Male): Okay. Did Ned tell you that? That was above and beyond the call of duty. Well, we're a family and that's what families do. You're right, CJ. That's what families do.

Guest (Male): Me, myself, and I. Me, myself, and I. We used to think of ourselves first, that we can't deny. Then we looked to the Lord above and knew what we should do. Now me, myself, and I will be thinking first of you.

I used to think I should be first in line, anywhere, every time. Yeah, I was stuck up on that horse of mine, always looking down. But now I can't believe the things I said, the words that passed my lips. How could I say I was a cool cat? All that and a bag of chips.

Oh, me, myself, and I. Oh, me, myself, and I. We think of us by far too much. We're one selfish guy. But we've learned from the Lord above a lesson long overdue. Now me, myself, and I will be thinking first of you.

Yeah, I was puffed up like a big hot-air balloon. I mean, I was so full of myself, I could hardly reach around to pat me on the back. I can't believe how selfish we all were. Me, myself, and I, what were we thinking about?

So if you've ever heard that simple verse, the first are last, the last are first. For you could say I had them in reverse. But no more because I'll be putting you before me, myself, and I. Hey, me, myself, and I.

What foolish pride we had inside till we saw God's glorified. Then it dawned on me and so we're free. We finally got a clue. Now me, myself, and I will be thinking first of you. Yes, me, myself, and I will be thinking of you.

Insight for Living: To order a copy of today's program, "The Hire Principle," just log on to pawsandtales.org. "The Hire Principle" was written by Gary Armstrong and directed by David Carl. Our script supervisor was Phil Lollar. The song "Me, Myself, and I" was written by Sandy Howell. Music was by Billy Martin and our sound designer was Eric Baesel. Paws & Tales is an Insight for Living production.