Paws & Tales

Ned: Hey, Joel, look at me! I'm in the control room!

Joel: Hey, Ned. I'm just setting up the mics and then we'll be ready, okay?

Ned: Okay. I'm going to check the levels. Give me some of that script WF-23 number five.

Joel: Okay. "Hi folks, this is Ned the Beaver, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Ned: Joel, we are professionals. Respect the script. Always respect the script.

Joel: Okay. "Hi folks, this is Ned the Beaver. There's a lot of Wildwood to explore here on pawsandtales.org."

Ned: No, sorry, again, please. With feeling this time.

Joel: "Hi folks, this is Ned the Beaver. There's a lot of Wildwood to explore here on pawsandtales.org."

Ned: Okay, good, good, so good. But with more energy, please. I need more!

Joel: "Hi folks, this is Ned the Beaver. There's a lot of Wildwood to explore here on pawsandtales.org!"

Ned: That's perfect, Joel. Now say pawsandtales.org like your pants are just a little bit on fire.

Joel: Ned, get out of my chair.

Ned: Signing off from Paws & Tales studios. I'll see you at pawsandtales.org!

Insight for Living: Welcome to the world of Paws & Tales. Wild mountain can be a pretty dangerous place. You stay on the trails and stick with me, there's adventures to be had there, too.

Come on, CJ, jump! It's too far! It wasn't too far for me! Insight for Living is proud to present Paws & Tales.

Howdy and welcome to Wildwood. Getting towards the end of another school day, but what a day it’s turned out to be. Miss Harbor is once again in rare form as she teaches the class about leadership.

Miss Harbor: For you see, in those ancient days of England, there were no laws. Each kingdom did as they wanted. They fought each other for land. Who wants to be a king?

CJ: I do! I do!

Miss Harbor: There's a shock. All right, CJ, stand up. You are the king of Brownshire. I am the queen of Harborshire. I have lots of land and lots of sheep, but my crops have failed and my kingdom needs food.

In Brownshire, your kingdom, your crops have done wonderfully, but your sheep have mostly died from disease.

CJ: Nuts. I hate it when that happens.

Miss Harbor: What do we do? Our two kingdoms...

Goos: Oh! Oh!

Miss Harbor: Goos?

Goos: You call me and talk over the situation. Then you share some of your sheep with CJ and he shares some of his crops with you. Then you decide to have a party and celebrate and make invitations with little sheep and, oh, I know! You glue a little bit of wool and a little bit of sparkle and a little bit of...

Ned: She cracks me up.

Miss Harbor: That would be a great way to handle it. However, that is not the way some of the old kings chose. That is not what the queen of Harborshire chose.

Attention, all you soldiers of Harborshire! Tonight you will march on the unsuspecting town of Brownshire. And while they are yet sleeping, you are to attack! Kill if you must, but do not come back unless you bring with you enough grain to feed my people throughout the winter!

Staci: Well, then I would just attack you back.

Miss Harbor: That's exactly what happened over and over and over. The motto of that day, according to the book, was might is right. Whoever was the strongest made up the rules. That's why they needed a king over all of them. Arthur was just a boy, but he was soon going to become that king.

Ned: Did he know that he was going to be king?

Miss Harbor: He did not. Now, there are different kinds of leaders. Some lead by example. Some can get their people to follow them and love them and follow them into anything. And some lead by creating fear. There are certainly other ways to lead.

Goos: Some lead by promising stuff, like treasures!

Miss Harbor: Good, Goos. That is another way. Now, at some time in the future, it's possible you will all need to lead others in something. Just what kind of leader will you be? This is an important question. Now, what kind of leader would young Arthur need to be to bring peace and order to his country?

CJ: The strongest one. Might is right!

Miss Harbor: That is the question for you all to work on for Monday's homework. That's all for today.

Goos: Miss Harbor, please! Don't stop now!

Miss Harbor: We will do more on Monday, class. Tomorrow's Friday. What does that mean?

Class: Spelling test!

Miss Harbor: The test will be first thing in the morning. Okay, don't forget to work on your word list tonight. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Staci: That was fun. I want to be a knight in shining armor.

CJ: Me too! Let's make swords and armor. It'll be so cool.

Ned: Oh, yeah.

Marsha: Almost as big as that huge dragon!

Insight for Living: Well, in the excitement of becoming knights in shining armor, the club decided to have their meeting in Stacy's barn. Stacy's barn is famous for having all manner of this and that. Her dad calls them treasures. Stacy's mom just calls it junk.

Staci: So it's agreed? We meet at the Shady Days Rest Home tomorrow?

Ned: Yeah, okay.

Staci: Bring your garden tools. I don't think any of you guys are paying attention.

CJ: This will be the best armor ever created.

Staci: A crate? Your armor is a crate?

CJ: I'm not listening. I have the mightiest sword in the land! Take that!

Staci: You're going to hurt someone with that.

CJ: That's what swords do, little missy. Take that and that! Hey, maybe we should have a contest to see who should be king.

Staci: Give it up, CJ. You're not going to be our king.

CJ: Stacy, here I come!

Staci: I'm not ready! Better get your sword up! CJ, knock it off, CJ! That was too hard.

CJ: That's because I'm the mightiest king in the land and you know the rules: might is right.

Ned: You're going to hurt someone, CJ.

Marsha: Well, you're certainly the mightiest goofball in the land. Take that and that! Give me your crops, Sir Ned!

Ned: Leave me alone. I don't have my armor done yet.

CJ: Well, then I have caught you unaware and defenseless. I'm warning you! Sir Ned Nabox can't defend himself. I have captured your castle. You are now my subject of...

Goos: Looks like the might is right guy just got dethroned by a beaver's tail!

CJ: Not funny. No real knight would hit you with his tail.

Staci: The point of King Arthur is that he changed things.

CJ: Don't tell me you know because you've already read the book.

Marsha: Did you really?

Staci: As a matter of fact, I have. King Arthur changed it from might is right to might for right.

Goos: Oh, I like that much better.

CJ: Same thing.

Staci: It means that King Arthur made rules for everyone to follow. He brought peace to the land because he wouldn't let the toughest guy just do anything he wanted anymore.

Goos: He used the might of his kingdom to do right! Well, that's kind of like leading by example.

Staci: Yeah, and he led a little by fear, too. He took all of those big-mouth might is right guys and tossed them out of the kingdom.

CJ: What's everybody looking at me for? Very clever fellow, this King Arthur. Someone ought to write a book about him. Maybe we should make some rules.

Goos: Rules for what?

Marsha: You just want to make a rule so you can make us do what you want.

CJ: No, we can all come up with the rules. We can make our club a more peaceful place.

Goos: So what kind of rules?

CJ: No being mean to each other.

Staci: That's a good one.

CJ: No telling lies.

Goos: Yes.

Marsha: No telling secrets.

Staci: Oh, I don't think that's a very good one.

Marsha: That's a great one. Wait a minute, I'll write these down. Being mean, lies, secret...

Goos: Oh! No turning your homework in late.

Staci: Good. Number four.

Goos: No wearing pink and red together!

Ned: I suggest no saying silly things, but...

CJ: Okay, we're all making these up together. We have to memorize a verse every day.

Goos: Too much. One each week.

CJ: That's much better. Fine, no one's king here. We're all doing this together.

Goos: No swimming until 20 minutes after you eat! No tattling.

CJ: Slow down.

Staci: How about we all need to stick up for each other?

Goos: That's a good one.

CJ: No being late to club meetings.

Marsha: Now is that really necessary?

CJ: Yes, it is. Fine.

Goos: So what happens if someone breaks a rule?

Staci: Yeah, what happens then?

CJ: This isn't my thing. I don't know.

Staci: Yeah, right.

Ned: How about you get points against you?

Staci: Oh, yeah, like demerits.

Ned: Good. So then what?

Staci: And if you get 10 demerits, then you have to leave the kingdom for a month.

Goos: A month?

Ned: So if sometime in the next year I get 10 demerits, I'll get kicked out of the club?

CJ: Well, every month you'll start over. Each month you'll start over with zero demerits.

Staci: Sounds good.

Goos: Ten seems like a lot of demerits.

Staci: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

Marsha: Ten seems like not enough to me.

CJ: Okay, let's go with five. Five demerits in one month and you get kicked out of the club.

Staci: I have a bad feeling about this.

Kayla: Hi everyone, my name is Kayla. I'm eight years old. Me and my sister Eleanor love listening to Paws & Tales when we're coloring and on long car rides. You'll love it too, so tune in today.

Stacy: Hi everyone, Stacy here from Paws & Tales. What if you could help kids around the world hear about the great love of God for his children? We do it in a fun way that is full of music, laughter, and storytelling that makes kids want to listen.

This is exactly what we do here at Paws & Tales. To help out with a donation of any size, just jump over to pawsandtales.org and click the donate button. Thank you so much for the help.

Insight for Living: Well, the club was right excited about all of these new rules. As they walked to school the next morning, they even added more to the list. This sort of talking went right on until class started.

Miss Harbor: All right class, settle, please. Let's pass your spelling list up to the front and let's get ready for the spelling test.

Marsha: Oh, no. Miss Harbor?

Miss Harbor: Yes, Marsha?

Marsha: I left it on the counter at home.

Miss Harbor: Oh, well. Bring it in on Monday.

Marsha: Thanks.

CJ: Rule number four: No late homework.

Goos: He's right. That's a demerit.

Marsha: What?

Miss Harbor: Please stop talking and get ready for the test now.

CJ: You broke rule number four. No turning homework in late. It's your rule.

Goos: I know this started already.

Miss Harbor: Marsha, CJ, that will be enough.

Goos: It started.

CJ: Did not.

Goos: Did too.

Staci: Stacy, did it start?

Miss Harbor: What is going on here? I will have quiet in this class. Do you understand?

Goos: Yes, ma'am. Sorry.

Insight for Living: Saturday morning came and they all straggled into the Shady Days Rest Home to help weed out the flower beds. When you end up at the Shady Days, you can count on two things: the ever-present smell of coffee and Gus.

Gus is a retired sea captain. Old Gus has seen more things and had more adventures than Hercules. One of the reasons the kids loved coming to help out at the home is because they know Gus will be there.

Gus: Hey guys!

CJ: Hi Gus!

Staci: Morning!

Marsha: Hello!

Ned: How are you, Captain Gus?

Gus: Oh, morning to all of you. Good of you to come. Those weeds just grow bigger every day and they laugh at me when I walk by. Of course, I could bend down and get them myself if I wanted. I just couldn’t get back up is the problem.

CJ: Well, we'll get them for you.

Gus: Well, what have you all been up to lately?

CJ: We've been making up rules and Marsha already broke one.

Goos: Goos!

Gus: Rules?

CJ: King Arthur made England a better place because he made everyone stop doing whatever they wanted to.

Gus: Well, he brought the rule of law to merry old England.

Goos: Hey, he knows!

Gus: Sure I do. Without the rules and laws, disaster awaits. Why, once we were sailing to the islands of the Southern Seas and one of the men new to the ship decided that the rules did not apply to him.

CJ: What did he do?

Gus: Well, he had a way with the ropes like I'd never seen. He did little things his own way, not the way he should have. He tied knots in the rigging that no one knew how to untie. His stubbornness put the whole ship in danger.

Goos: Just because of his knots?

Gus: Well, a squall came up out of nowhere. Nothing we couldn’t handle, though. I ordered the sails to be brought in. The men could not get these special knots untied. We had to slash through the ropes with an axe. Why, we barely got them sails down in time. We nearly capsized.

Goos: What happened to the guy who tied the knots?

Gus: Well, he was thrown in the brig. As soon as we got to port, we showed him off the ship, not so very politely.

Goos: How not so very politely?

Gus: We tied him hand and foot in our own special knot. We left him on the dock.

Goos: You left him on an island?

Gus: Well, don't worry. It was a busy shipping lane. He just needed to hire on with another ship.

Staci: After he untied those knots.

Gus: After he untied those knots.

Staci: Seems pretty mean to me.

Gus: Well, it's very serious business sailing the open seas. One man deciding that the rules don't apply to him puts the ship, its cargo, and every man aboard at risk. Following the rules on a ship can be a matter of life and death.

CJ: So on your ship, it was might for right.

Gus: Exactly. Now, are you kids going to watch the weeds or are you here to pull them?

Goos: Oh, yeah. Put your backs into it, you scurvy dogs!

Staci: Did you say that to your sailors all the time?

Gus: You know, I never said that before in my life. I don't know where I heard it.

Insight for Living: Well, they did get those weeds pulled in spite of Gus's stories. Then they decided to spend the afternoon in the best possible way: swimming and fishing.

Ned: One more lap!

CJ: No, I'm done. I've beat you four times. Face it, it's over.

Ned: I almost had you last time.

CJ: I stopped because you were so far behind. I'm a beaver. I swim better than you. Give it up.

Ned: Next time, furball, you're going down.

CJ: I'm yawning from boredom. Do we have a rule about too much big talking?

Staci: Oh, yeah. Ned, could you hand me my backpack? I've got the rules numbered and listed out. Last night, I made copies.

Ned: You made copies?

Staci: Here, now we can all have one and keep it with us all the time.

Goos: Oh, goody. I want to carry a list of rules all the time.

Staci: Good thing we didn't make a rule about bad attitudes. Now we can't just call out a rule like we did with Marsha's homework.

Marsha: No one said it had started!

Staci: Maybe we should have a code or something so that we could alert each other if a rule has been broken.

Goos: Like what? A secret wink?

Staci: No, that'll only work if we are looking at each other.

Goos: A noise! We could have a little secret noise.

Staci: I like it! I can use my special ring whistle.

Goos: Oh, that's really fun. What can mine be?

Ned: I can just smack my tail on the ground.

Goos: I have an old police whistle.

Staci: There's a surprise.

Goos: I'll make my noise.

Ned: What's your noise?

Goos: The noise I do with my eye.

Ned: The whole point of this is that we make a noise loud enough that we can hear it.

CJ: How do you do that? You do that with your eye?

Ned: Okay, let's make a rule against rubbing your eye noises. That's not normal. What's your noise, Stace?

Staci: CJ thinks he's a king. What?

Ned: Nothing.

Staci: What?

CJ: No telling secrets. Rule number 11.

Staci: It wasn't a secret.

CJ: Then why did you say it?

Staci: I said my noise would be me saying CJ thinks he's a king.

CJ: I don't think you get it, Stace. It's supposed to be a short kind of...

CJ: No being mean to others. Rule number two.

Ned: Please! She didn't mean it to be mean. Ned said basically the same thing yesterday about CJ trying to act like a king.

CJ: No tattling. Rule number... where's the list?

Goos: You said that?

Ned: No, I didn't! I just said that I was...

Goos: You're lying! No lying! Rule number one again against Ned.

Staci: No being mean! Number two against Ned. Stace, Marsha, a little help here?

Marsha: You didn't help me with the homework thing.

Ned: Gah! Number eight on both of you. You're not sticking up for me. Where's the list?

Marsha: Ned, know your verse?

Ned: Don't, don't do it.

Goos: Eye noise! Number seven against Ned.

Staci: Stace, that was kind of mean. Number two on Stace for being mean to Ned. Stace, tell us your verse.

Staci: The... the one for this week?

Ned: I'm waiting.

Staci: I haven't really...

Ned: Number seven on Stace. She doesn't know her verse either. Stop it!

Ned: That's five for Stace.

Staci: Oh, no.

Goos: Maybe this should just be a practice run.

Ned: It's not a practice. Rules are rules. They're important.

Goos: CJ, don't do it.

Ned: That was five demerits, Stace.

Staci: I'm out of the club?

Kayla: Hi, I'm Kayla from Reno, Nevada. My favorite Paws & Tales character is Goos because she's funny and says things like "bob and weave." Wait until you hear what happens next on today's episode.

Ned: I'm Ned the Beaver, star of Paws & Tales. Now, I want to surprise Papa Chuck with some photos of you. So parents, take a photo of your kids listening to Paws & Tales. They can be funny photos, kooky pictures, you know, snuggled into the pillows, wherever your child listens.

And I will have them posted on the wall of the clubhouse for all to see. Don't you want to be a part of the clubhouse wall? Of course you do! So just go to pawsandtales.org and send in those pictures.

Insight for Living: Well, it started with Staci, but it only took another couple of minutes for Ned, Marsha, and Goos to get enough demerits to get kicked out, too. So now we find the only remaining member of the club heading over to the Shady Days Rest Home.

Gus: Oh, CJ! Whoa, what are you doing? Did you forget something from this morning?

CJ: No. Got a minute?

Gus: Well, let me see. Yep, seems I'm free at the moment. Here, try one of these cookies. Mrs. Snodle made them.

CJ: Thanks. Mmm.

Gus: Well, what's on your mind?

CJ: I got a problem.

Gus: Oh, a problem. Well, maybe we should sit down.

CJ: Okay. The rules.

Gus: The rules?

CJ: The rules we told you about.

Gus: Oh, oh, yeah, the club rules. Right.

CJ: Yeah, it didn't really work.

Gus: The rules didn't work, huh?

CJ: Well, the whole thing, really. You get up to five demerits and then you get kicked out of the club for a month.

Gus: A month? Well, that seems kind of harsh, doesn't it?

CJ: Seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, everyone but me got kicked out today.

Gus: All in one day? All of you?

CJ: It was bad.

Gus: I guess it was. Now, how do you account for everyone getting kicked out?

CJ: I don't really know. We all agreed to the rules.

Gus: Well, like what? What were the rules?

CJ: No lying.

Gus: Well, that's a good one.

CJ: Yeah, and no being mean. No tattling. No secrets. Stuff like that.

Gus: Really?

CJ: What?

Gus: Well, son, rules are powerful things, important things. Some of those are not good ones.

CJ: Like what?

Gus: No tattling? Well, does that mean if someone does something wrong, you just stand there with your mouth closed? What exactly does that one mean?

CJ: I don't know. I just wanted to run a tight ship like you did, lead by example.

Gus: Well, did you? Or were you being a good example?

CJ: You said rules were a matter of life and death.

Gus: Well, no, CJ, that's not exactly what I said. I said that on a ship it could be that. You're not on a ship with the lives of all aboard as your responsibility. You're a bunch of kids. And you're not their captain, or their king for that matter.

CJ: I didn't say I was.

Gus: You see, CJ, God gave us laws to help us, to spare us from pain, to keep us out of trouble, you see? Now, I think you all made up rules so that you could control each other. Especially you did that.

God also gave us a way to get back in, to get forgiven. Now, did you?

CJ: I guess not. How about another cookie?

Gus: No, thanks.

CJ: Why not?

Gus: Well, they taste like chalk.

CJ: That's what it is! They do, don't they?

Gus: Now, and don't get me wrong, CJ, when you all grow up, there'll be rules and laws that if you break them, they'll affect you for the rest of your lives.

CJ: I know. That's what I'm saying.

Gus: Now, if you want to lead this group, this would be a great time for you all to be learning about rules, practicing with them and learning about forgiveness now, when a mistake won't make much of a difference.

Now, that's the kind of thing the good leader does. He helps who he leads. He serves them. A bad leader just tries to control them.

CJ: So you're implying that I'm a bad leader.

Gus: Nope. I'm saying it outright.

CJ: Gus!

Gus: But I'm thinking they'll forgive you if you ask them to. You see, everybody needs some of that.

CJ: Yeah, they probably will.

Gus: Come to think of it, you were mean to each other, weren't you?

CJ: Oh, yeah.

Gus: More than once?

CJ: At least.

Gus: Now, how many demerits you suppose that is?

CJ: Oh, man! I just got kicked out of the club!

Gus: Well, why don't you get your friends and don't try to be captain? Don't try to be a king, but lead them. Lead them by serving them. If you want to be great in God's kingdom, learn to be a servant of all. Try to lead like that and see how it goes.

CJ: Thanks, Gus.

Gus: Now, what are you still sitting here for? Get up and go lead your crew.

CJ: I'm going, I'm going! What exactly is a scurvy dog?

Gus: A scurvy... well, I got to tell you the truth, I don't know.

Guest (Male): What good is a candle if it doesn't have a flame? And what good is an arrow if it doesn't have an aim? A castle's not a castle without a miry moat. And what good is a funny tale if it doesn't get your goat?

Tweedle Dum, we’re looking for a master and a brother. Tweedle Dee, you see, he can’t be one without the other. He must be brave, he must be strong, with service as his motto. And if he leads us well, he will go and we will follow. We will follow.

I'd follow someone like that. A leader has the vision to pursue God's higher call. Not just to stand beside you, but to catch you when you fall. He's helpful and he listens to seek the common good. And no green tights are needed for this kind of servanthood.

Tweedle Dum, we’re looking for a master and a brother. Tweedle Dee, you see, he can’t be one without the other. He must be brave, he must be strong, with service as his motto. And if he leads us well, he will go and we will follow. We will follow.

In God's mighty armor we're prepared from head to toe. But without a leader we're dressed up and have no place to go. So which direction do you think we should be heading?

Oh, let's go to the left! No, no, I think we should go to the right! Oh, aim me, we're going to end up going round in circles! Well, really, we should sit down and discuss it. Okay, but where? What about here at this round table? No, no, we should go to the square one. Oh, my, we do need a leader, don't we?

Tweedle Dum, we’re looking for a master and a brother. Tweedle Dee, you see, he can’t be one without the other. He must be brave, he must be strong, with service as his motto. And if he leads us well, he will go and we will follow. Oh, if he leads us well, wouldn't that be swell? We will follow!

Now, I do think we should continue discussing it. Well, I agree, but where should we sit to decide where we're going to sit? I think this newfangled round table idea is... a round table? Never seen one like it.

Insight for Living: To order a copy of today's program, "And Then There Were None," just log on to pawsandtales.org. "And Then There Were None" was written by Steve Goldsworthy and David Carl and directed by David Carl.

The song "We Will Follow" was written by Sandy Howell and Shelley Spady. Music was by Tim Hosman and our sound designer was Jerry Swafford. Paws & Tales is an Insight for Living production.