Pastor to Pastor

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Jeff Stone: And so these opportunities are all around us all the time if we'll slow down, look, and listen. Stop, look, and listen, kind of like crossing the street. If we'll pay attention to those, we have these opportunities to speak into people's lives and take them with us for eternity.

Dave Stone: Hey everybody, welcome to Pastor to Pastor with Dave Stone. I'm your host, Dave Stone. Thank you so much for joining us. Make certain that you subscribe to Pastor to Pastor wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on Instagram at Pastor to Pastor Podcast and follow us there and on YouTube on the Focused Pastor channel.

If this conversation blesses you, make certain that you pass it on to someone else. I already know that this one's going to bless you. This is a special one. This is a personal one with me, and I can't wait for you to pass it on and share it with some others. I also would love for you to know that you can leave us a voicemail if you'd like. If you really like to talk, then feel free to leave us a voicemail at PastorToPastorWithDaveStone.com and just click the send a voicemail tab that's over on the far right hand side of the screen. You can send us a voicemail giving us suggestions of people to interview, some of the topics maybe that you've enjoyed, or something you want us to do a deeper dive into.

But we're all talking about loving people well today. And we would love to hear a story about how you or someone that you know went out of their way to love and serve one another, or some other person, maybe within the fabric of the church or maybe another Christian leader. But just go to PastorToPastorWithDaveStone.com and click send a voicemail.

What does it look like to love people well? Not just from the pulpit, not just in the church building, not just your church members, but in your day-to-day interactions with others. My guest today has modeled that kind of love for decades. He pastors faithfully, he serves humbly, and he loves in a way that reflects the love of Jesus Christ.

He has this unique gift of being able to take a church of maybe a hundred or two hundred people and just to grow it numerically and to grow it spiritually. I have watched Jeff do this time and time again in ministries in Ohio, in Kentucky, and also in Indiana. Our guest today is like a brother to me. Well, actually he is my brother, my only sibling that I have. His name is Jeff Stone. As I said, he's served in a variety of different churches. He's been the lead pastor, the associate pastor. He has a gift for preaching, but his greatest gift is the way he loves people.

He and his wife, Joani, have three kids, all adult kids, and three grandchildren. He has marked my life in countless different ways. He has spent the last really 50 years just exemplifying that ministry of loving people and making certain that he has a pastoral presence in shepherding his flock. So I want to invite you to listen in on my conversation with my brother, Jeff Stone.

My brother, how are you, Jeff?

Jeff Stone: Hey, I'm good, Dave. How are you today?

Dave Stone: I'm doing great. Thank you. I really am so excited about today. I told Beth, I said, "Today is going to be a good day. I get to talk to Jeff." And she's telling me all these questions I need to ask you. I have such a fond love and appreciation. You have no idea of the example that you have been to me in ministry and in life. You've been a confidant. You've been a friend to me. I know that today we're going to laugh a lot. I also know that I'll probably cry a few times too.

Jeff Stone: That makes sense. Keep those Kleenex handy there and we'll get through it.

Dave Stone: I got some toilet paper. Does that count?

Jeff Stone: Good enough.

Dave Stone: We have an unusual relationship in that whenever we call each other on the phone, we have never, I don't think, called each other by the correct name. We all have our nicknames that we call each other. I'm going to put you on the spot. How about if I say one that I say to you, you say one that you say to me, and we'll see if we can go a little ways with this.

Jeff Stone: Let's do it.

Dave Stone: So instead of saying Jeff, I might start off by saying, "Hey McGee."

Jeff Stone: Yes, and how are you, Appleseed?

Dave Stone: Hmm, yes. Another one I might say is Bernie.

Jeff Stone: Well Randy, how's it going today?

Dave Stone: Otis. I might call you Otis.

Jeff Stone: Yeah, that's probably about the limit for me.

Dave Stone: Jeffrey Wayne. I do call you Jeffrey Wayne some as well.

Jeff Stone: All of those have complete stories behind them that probably are not suitable for publication. I don't think the statute of limitations has expired on each.

Dave Stone: I think you're right. Every time that we as kids would play Batman and Robin, since he was the older brother, you always were Batman and I always got stuck being Robin. I have lived in your shadow.

Jeff Stone: That's all right. I think you've done all right. You've managed well with that heavy burden with the gifts that you have. Yes, Appleseed, you've done well.

Dave Stone: Well, we grew up in a ministry home. We're both PKs. Let's dig right in by talking about the blessing that we had of being raised in a Christian home with godly parents. I know that's not the case with everyone, but sometimes when you're a PK, you don't follow in ministry. And yet you blazed a trail for me. You're two and a half years older than I am. You went into ministry before I did, pursued ministry training two or three years ahead of me. Tell me what it was that you saw in Mom and Dad and why it was that you wanted to follow in their ministry footsteps.

Jeff Stone: Well Dave, as you know, we had the finest parents that anyone could ever have enjoyed. We were blessed to grow up in the home that we grew up in. You and I had a lot of fun together growing up, and just a lot of good memories.

But I think our dad's integrity was the most important factor that we saw. He was the same person throughout the week at home as he was in the pulpit on Sunday. That consistency really garnered our respect. As far as Mom, I think she had a special gift for seeing those who were overlooked by others.

I think part of that sensitivity came because her youngest brother had cerebral palsy and she always just had a really compassionate heart for those who might be in any way overlooked or disadvantaged. I think that she helped transmit that to you and me. Those were really key factors in why we chose to follow in our dad's footsteps, with the contribution from our mom's influence as well. It was also great when he offered us cash incentives if we would go into ministry. No, that didn't happen. It's something we did of our own choice, our own free will and volition. We wanted to devote our lives to serving Christ, saying thank you, and blessing other people and taking them with us to heaven.

Dave Stone: And we got to see firsthand some of the fun side of ministry. I think Mom and Dad didn't candy coat, they didn't hide things from us. We realized that there were real challenges that came alongside of ministry, but there were those perks that we got as well. I'm thinking of the lost and found when Dad served at Western Hills Church. You remember some of those different things that we got to be a part of that other people missed out on? Mom and Dad made it fun for us, didn't they?

Jeff Stone: They absolutely did. That's something I've tried to communicate to our kids growing up, that we're living in a fishbowl. There's extra scrutiny on a pastor's family and yet there are also some extra privileges as far as people giving gifts at Christmas, sharing tickets to sporting events, doing things like that that need to be reckoned as well as balancing out some of the hardship and challenges.

Dave Stone: You think about it now. You alluded to this of Dad's consistency and integrity, being that same person at home as he was in the pulpit. But I loved what you said about Mom. Mom saw people that we wouldn't see or that we overlooked. She had this passion. Yes, maybe it did come from a brother with cerebral palsy with Uncle Greg. But we saw it time and time again, the heart that she had for other people. She was about as pure of a woman. People saying, "Did she ever sin?" And that one time back in August 12, I believe, 1994, there was a rumor that she had sinned.

But yeah, she was always caring for people. Sometimes because of her naivete and her innocence, she would put her foot in her mouth. You remember the time when there was a rather large woman in the church that we were attending?

Jeff Stone: I know exactly what you're going to say.

Dave Stone: And Mom was sticking up for her and you and I were saying something about her. She said to us in unison, "She carries a heavy burden." Exactly. As soon as she said it and it got out of her mouth, she realized the double entendre. You and I are on the ground laughing. I'm cracking up laughing. "Yes she does carry a heavy burden!"

"Oh I didn't mean it that way! I didn't mean it like that! Oh Sam, tell the boys I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't making a joke about her weight."

But we milked that for probably the next 30 years, don't you think?

Jeff Stone: At least. Do you remember the Christmas when she found out that Viola, this Egyptian student at the local Bible college, was thousands of miles away from her family and going to be in the dorm alone on Christmas day? So she invited her to come and have Christmas with our family.

Some people, if it's Memorial Day or 4th of July, yeah we can have a guest. But Christmas is for families, right? It's sacred. So they brought Viola in. We asked her questions about her culture and visited. Then it came time to open gifts and I thought, "Oh no, we didn't think about that."

But Mom had thought of everything. She had gifts wrapped with Viola's name on them under the tree. She was a part of our family for that day. That willingness to enlarge the circle and bring people in, that was something that was a trademark of our mom. She always really emphasized, "If there's someone visiting in Sunday School, you sit by them, you help them, you welcome them. If there's a new student at school, you become their friend and help that transition." We just grew up doing that because we were taught that. It was ingrained from early childhood that you just go out and you love people.

Dave Stone: You tell that story about Viola. I haven't thought about that in years. It puts tears in my eyes and puts a lump in my throat because it would pain her if somebody was at the Christian college dorm and Mom thought that they were there by themselves.

Jeff Stone: She wouldn't have it. In the years to come, we've both had many outside friends and individuals into our homes at Christmas time because they've gone through difficult circumstances and we don't want them to be alone on that day.

Dave Stone: Mom instilled a lot of that. When I think of pastors, the title of this, Pastor to Pastor, I said to Focus on the Family, I said, "It epitomizes my brother because you have loved pastors well." But it goes deeper than that. You've loved people really well and throughout all of your different ministries.

I don't know of a pastor who has a bigger heart for their people. I have a little note on the corner of my desk right here and it says, "I know you love to preach, but do you love the people to whom you preach?" And you really love your people well, Jeff. I'd love to dig into that and unpack that a little bit because countless pastors have told me that, countless people in the different churches that you have served, and I've seen it firsthand. So talk to me where that love came from. Maybe you've already covered that with seeing that with Mom. But what is it that caused that to translate from Mom into your life and what's the payoff that you see of loving people really well? Because you excel at it. It needs to be on your tombstone someday is that he loved people well.

Jeff Stone: I think a lot of it goes back to just our individual relationship with the Lord. When we begin to understand grace, it makes us more grace-extending and we view people differently. So much of the American way is performance-based. You do this for me, then I'll do this for you. God's approach is unconditional love. I love you. We're made in the image of God and we're his children, so there's some redemptive good in every individual. Some it's buried deeper than others and others it's pretty close to the surface.

I remember when I was at Dublin, I had an 18-year ministry there that was just really a great place, a really healthy church. As I was thinking of the topic that we're talking about, I pulled out a letter that I kept, a card. We had a professor in Bible college that said, "You need to start a file folder that says, 'Is it really worth it?' And when you get some encouraging card or note, tuck that in there, because there are days when it's like, is this really worth it? Every minister's said that on many a Monday."

And so this was something in that file. This nice lady and I had disagreed on some things and this is what she wrote:

"Jeff, I've had it in mind to send you a note for quite some time now. As we're going through the '40 Days of Purpose' book, I became aware of a great appreciation for your forgiving spirit. I know that I've had several situations in the past that I did not handle well and you have always forgiven. And I've begun to realize that with a congregation our size, you probably have similar situations arise fairly regularly and it must take a good amount of prayer and grace to forgive those situations. I just wanted you to know I really appreciate the way you handle disagreements within the church and I pray for continued wisdom and grace for you as our church grows."

She went on and said, "I also became convicted of how far I still have to grow in many areas and again that started me thinking that you have to shepherd so many people who are at different stages of maturity in their Christian life and that at times it must be very difficult. I think you do it very well. I'm going to pray for continued wisdom for you in that challenge as well."

That's gold. You don't get those very often or every day. When you do, you throw them in a folder and you save them. That was over 20 years ago, but it still makes me smile to see that. It challenges me to try to do a better job of loving those who perhaps are intentionally hurting me or actively undermining my leadership.

It's a challenge. Let me just point you to a passage I came across leading a study last week that seems timely for all the pastors out there. It's 2 Timothy 2:24-26. I won't take time to read it. Jot it down, look at it later, and you'll go, "Oh yeah," because it's where we live. It's Paul's final advice in his last epistle and he's writing to his understudy Timothy. He's telling him, "Timothy, some days you've got to be tough, and Timothy, some days you've got to be tender." And it frames it in the context that, again, this is spiritual warfare that we're engaged in. It's not against flesh and blood people who unwittingly are the emissaries of our opponent, but this is Satan who is our ultimate enemy.

Dave Stone: I am not smart enough, having only been a Christian for 50 years, to know what 2 Timothy 2:24-26 is. I thought you were going to say 2 Timothy 2:2. I'm trying to rack my brain on what 24-26 would even be talking about, but thank you for that teaser. We will check it out.

And yes, we've got to be tough and we've got to be tender. One lesson that I've learned through decades of ministry is that hurt people hurt people. Lots of times when you get that angry letter or somebody takes a shot at you on social media, even just a phone call to them will diffuse the situation or just to say, "Hey, how are you doing? Because it just seemed a little out of character. I just want to see what's going on in your life and in your world." Sometimes that will talk them off the ledge. Before that conversation is even over, it might prompt that response. What a sweet lady for her to express the grace and to write you that.

Jeff Stone: And she has no idea how much that meant to me at that moment. It reinforced that you should take the high road. It's easy to strike back, it's easy to get even, it's easy to call names, it's easy to build people that see things my way and have that consensus. But just keep your head down, keep loving them, pray, and you do learn to forgive. That's a part of having a lasting ministry is you have to work past some of the hurt.

Dave Stone: And that's the beauty of a long-term ministry, because you have the opportunity to outlast your critics. You win them over at times. Also there's other times when they realize, "Okay, I guess I'm not getting to them," and as a result of that, they back off some because they realize that their voice has been muted.

You love so well. I could tell story after story. I think back to United Dairy Farmers where you should always get your ice cream. One time when your kids were younger, you all took money back in to encourage a worker and you gave this outlandish amount of money to her and it brought her to tears. That started a friendship.

I think of different people that you have poured into who are in prison. I think of countless waitresses and servers that you have come alongside. One time I was calling you up and you said, "Hey, I'm going to have to call you back because I'm trying to get the electricity turned back on at this waitress that worked at the pizza place."

Another time you were going to get some things to take it over to somebody's house. I mean, it's one after another. The majority of these aren't a part of your church and yet you use those as opportunities to plant seeds of the gospel. I know I'm rambling, Jeff, but I'm thinking of another one right now. I think you came on the scene of an accident one time and the police had shut the road down.

Jeff Stone: I think what I'm remembering is I saw a car go off the road into a ditch and come back up onto the main road, which was a very busy commercial area. I thought that driver's having an episode, a heart attack, drunk, impaired, I didn't know what.

So I drove in front, got in front of that car, and then slowed down and braked her down to a stop. When I walked around, she had an empty bottle of vodka and two little kids in car seats in the back seat. So I called a minister buddy to come and hang with the kids while I tried to talk to Julie and try to help with that until the police got there. It was a surreal situation and we're glad it ended as well as it did without any incident for the little children.

But I think these opportunities abound for us every day if we open our eyes and get involved instead of saying, "Wow, that was a crazy driver, but I got to get to my appointment," and we keep going. And then when we listen to people what they say. The lady Carolyn at the United Dairy Farmer when we were getting chocolate malts, the story you referenced, I said, "How are you doing today?" And she just said, "Well, yeah." I said, "Are you enjoying the spring weather?" She said, "Yeah, it gives you less time to think about things."

So I waited till the crowd dissipated and I said, "What things are troubling you? What's on your mind?" And then she just started spilling her story, dumping her truck about she'd been in a car accident, the insurance wasn't going to cover, and she didn't know how she was going to pay for this. There's always a story behind the story if we will listen attentively instead of just, "Hey, how are you? Good to see you, bye. How's your day going?" They'll tell you and you'll know if you should have a follow-up question or if they're willing to unpack that or if you just pray for them and know that person's going through something but they're not ready to talk about it.

Dave Stone: What was her first name?

Jeff Stone: Carolyn.

Dave Stone: And how many years ago was that, Jeff?

Jeff Stone: It was in the 90s. Our kids were pretty young at that time. But I went home, got the checkbook, and it was a school night. I knew the chance to be a part of that would be of more value than another hour of sleep. We drove back and waited till she was alone, called her aside, and I asked her what her last name was. She told me and I wrote it in the check and gave her the speech I'd rehearsed on the way over, that this is a gift from God to help you right now. I wish I could cover all that you have in the expenses, but we hope that this will help and we'll be praying for you.

She just broke down crying, went into the stock room to regain her composure. From the address on the check, she wrote a thank you card and just said, "I had been praying, 'God, please send someone to deliver and help me with this.'" She said, "Thanks for listening to that still, small voice." And I believe God nudged us, he prompted us that night. We didn't just grab our malts and run to the car, but we listened and asked some questions and we could become a part of the answer to her prayer.

Dave Stone: I want everybody who is listening to remember Carolyn 30 years ago, Julie alongside the road. I could go through name after name. Why do those names stand out to Jeff years later and days later? Trust me, friends, Jeff has stories from last week, last month, last year, and the names stand out to him because he built a relationship with every one of these people.

He makes himself available. He makes himself accessible. I remember one time calling you, Jeff, and on getting together and we'd meet halfway sometimes to eat and you said, "I can't do it that day." I said, "Why?" He said, "Well, I'm going back up to Columbus," and said the name of a couple who had been neighbors of yours and you had ended up baptizing that couple, but they were having marriage problems. You said, "I'm driving up there to talk with them and spend a couple of hours with them and encourage them to stay together." And that was in a ministry that he had had six or seven years before. And he always is interested in building the kingdom.

What's one of the most memorable times where you saw loving people actually pay dividends? I know you've got dozens of them. Is there one that stands out to you? I'll put you on the spot here.

Jeff Stone: One that I think is really neat as I was preparing and thinking about this time together today was there was a gentleman in our church who had become a Christian because his marriage was on the rocks. He made a genuine commitment to Christ, I baptized him, and I could see his wife was done with the marriage. She wanted out and was over it and he was really broken by that.

Well, one of his parents died and it was going to create a really awkward visitation for him, his estranged wife, his kids. We wanted to do something that would convey his value to us in church, how we saw Todd. So another minister on staff, I said, "I think we ought to go to this visitation."

He goes, "That's in Tennessee. That's six hours away."

I said, "I know, I think we ought to go to this."

He goes, "I'm in."

So Tony and I hopped in a car, drove six hours there to Tennessee. We went to the visitation, gave him support. It was a real statement to his estranged wife and some of the extended family that, "Wow, Todd's church really cares. They love him." We drove back home that night, got in about 3:00 AM.

I want to read you just an excerpt from something that Tony wrote. Tony went on, left our church, became a Christian counselor in Indianapolis, and he just wrote me this in Tony's last email.

Dave Stone: And Tony's the guy that went with you.

Jeff Stone: He's the minister on staff that went with me and then years later was a Christian counselor. This is the last email that I ever received from him before he died really prematurely. He said, "I cannot thank you enough for teaching me the importance of being present with people in their pain. Even if it's an inconvenient six-hour drive to get there, that lesson has helped ease the pain of hundreds of folks through the years."

It was multiplied in his ministry and in his counseling and in his life. There's another little P.S. to that story. We went to the visitation, spent time there, then we stopped at a gas station to fill up before we drove back to Ohio. We said, "Hey, we're really hungry. Can you recommend a place where we could get a steak before we go back?"

And the attendant there at the gas station said, "Well, I've heard such and such is really a good restaurant, but I've never been there, but you could try that."

Both of us, the light bulb went off in our heads. We went and ate the meal there, got a gift card, went back to the gas station and gave it to that gentleman who was the gas station attendant and said, "Thanks for the referral. We had a great supper there. He said you hadn't been there, we'd like for you to be our guest and go eat there." So we were able to bless him in the process before we drove six hours back. It was a really special night and I think it really made a difference for Todd.

Dave Stone: I'm glad you shared that story. I didn't know anything about that funeral story, never heard that. People are listening they're like, "Well, I don't know that that's normal." Well, it is normal because that's the way you were raised. You take seriously the admonition from Jesus in John 13:34, "All people will know you're my disciples by your love one for another."

Who knows how that might encourage that person, whether that's that worker behind the ice cream counter, whether it's the gas station attendant, whether it's that gal that struggles with drinking, whoever it might be. Pastors listen to this and Christian leaders, your ministry goes far beyond just the people that you're with on Sunday. Your entire congregation is much bigger than that and you have the opportunity to love people and love them well. Jeff, it just naturally flows out of him.

As you're telling the story about where to eat, my mind immediately jumps to, "Oh I bet Jeff got him a gift card. I bet Jeff got him a gift card." Why do I think that? It's because that's who you are. That's what you do. You're a representation of Christ everywhere you go. Ministry is not turning off a switch and it's not a nine to five where I'm a Christian leader when I'm at church and then I kick back when I'm away. No, if you want your kids to embrace faith and follow in your footsteps in loving Jesus, then flesh it out. I know that every one of Jeff's kids love people well because of the fact that they've seen it in your life.

I'm thinking of a story of a pastor who was a couple of hours away from you and he was going through a rough time and you heard about it second-hand. His name is Greg. You reached out to him. I know the story because Greg's the one that told it to me. You reached out to Greg and said, "Hey, would love to have lunch. I hear you're going through a rough time and just encourage you." You set up a lunch with him a couple of days later and dropped what you were doing and drove two hours, had lunch with this pastor, poured into him, encouraged him, although he was in a discouraged season of ministry.

When it came time for you to leave, Greg thanked you and you said to him, "Well, you would have done the same for me." When Greg tells the story, he says, "It was gut check time for me. And when Jeff said, 'Well, you would have done the same for me,' I honestly looked back at you and said, 'You know, I don't think I would have dropped everything to drive two hours and have lunch with you. I don't think I would have.'" He said, "But I will now."

I just wonder how many pastors you have encouraged to love others well because of the way that you love your flock and the way that you love those in Christian leadership. I am blessed to have great parents, but I'm also blessed to have a great brother who is the ultimate example to me when it comes to ministry and pastoring and loving people well and loving others. You use that as a springboard, I know, for evangelism time and time again. You will pour into people and love people and then when I come and visit you at your church or when we're talking on the phone, I'll hear the story of the LaRosa's waitress that now is coming to church and you're taking her son to a baseball game because he doesn't have a father and you and your wife are taking them. How does that spur you into kicking into evangelism mode when you're loving on people? Give us as Christian leaders some steps that could help us do that.

Jeff Stone: You had a broadcast recently that was really valuable and talked about the importance of learning people's names. There is a magical lock that is opened when we learn someone's name and we begin to relate to them on a different level and it's just more personal.

So we eat at a lot of the same restaurants frequently and get to know the servers by name, get to know what's happening in their lives, become friends, not just acquaintances. We try to earn the right to be heard and then have opportunities to share the gospel and invite them to follow Christ.

I think of Chad, who was the manager of a Skyline Chili. For about three years, we just had conversations and then when the timing was right, he began to ask some questions and opened the door to baptizing him. Today his son is a youth minister and just that continues to reverberate out from the influence of loving him. Another friend of ours, Brett, who was also at the restaurant, was a customer. We began having a Bible study on Tuesday afternoons after 2:00 PM in a booth at the restaurant when it wasn't busy.

The first week, Chad had a list of about 12 questions, and then the next week about 10, and then the next week 8, and by the fourth week he said, "I understand, I'm in, I want to become a Christian." I had the privilege of baptizing him. That happened to other servers there through that connection.

Tara was nine months pregnant and I had the privilege of leading her to the Lord. I think of Jose at the Mexican restaurant and having that privilege with him and then Augustine at the same Mexican restaurant. I had Mexican today before we did this and I'm praying for my server there today and looking to make inroads into leading him to know the Lord and live for him and follow him.

We can use our hobbies to evangelize. We had some people that bought a horse from us and they began coming to church, joined our Bible study, our life group, and I had the privilege of leading them to Christ and baptizing them.

I remember the day when we put our house up for sale and the realtor we had never met before but had been highly recommended, she came and again as we talked, there was something going on in her life. She was at one of those crossroads spiritually and she stayed for five hours and just dumped her truck to my wife and me. She was at church the next day, continued coming, and again within four or five weeks she was ready to make a commitment of her life and I got to baptize Lynn.

And so these opportunities are all around us all the time if we'll slow down, look, and listen. Stop, look, and listen, kind of like crossing the street. If we'll pay attention to those, we have these opportunities to speak into people's lives and take them with us for eternity.

Dave Stone: Our listeners have heard me say this countless times, but I'll often word a prayer in the morning, "Lord, will you cross my path today with someone who I can spiritually encourage?" My wife Beth is great at that. Your wife Joani is awesome at it.

Just again, you talked about the podcast, the art and importance of remembering names. You can go back and listen to that. Jeff, you could have done that entire podcast and probably would have done better because you're the one who's modeled that for me.

Every conference, every church conference that you and I go to together, you always do the same thing. You've got that paper out. You've got a pad. You take all your notes on that pad, old school, and at the very first page, I know what you got. Yes, Exhibit A for those who are watching us. I know what the first page is. The first page is all of the people that you have met and that you have run into. It might be a new friend, it might be an old friend. But then you go back and you review that before that second day and then you go back and review that later so that those names now become friendships. There's a rhyme and reason to it. Tell people how important that is.

Jeff Stone: It's said of Jesus, the shepherd knows his sheep. Jesus knows the sheep by name and so should we. The sheep isn't just limited to the sheep in our local church, but it expands in concentric circles to some family members who need to know the Lord better, to some neighbors, to some hobby associates, to some random servers at a restaurant, to people that have a disabled car situation that you may never see again.

I love the prayer that you stated and what an exciting way to live. "Lord, cross my path with someone today who needs to know you and your love and let me be your instrument for that." And so it takes life from a mundane, boring existence into it's a rush to be a conduit for the Holy Spirit and see what today's opportunity, assignment, challenge is and it keeps us fresh.

Instead of, "I'm going to hunker down in my office and work on my message all week," no, go to Starbucks, go to a corner booth in a restaurant, get to know the people there, take an interest in their lives. Taking donuts into the bank and just with a note or an invitation to our church and mention that, the idea of spreading that seed.

Matthew 13, sowing, is it all going to germinate? No. But the more seed you sow, the more the crop will yield and you'll reap. I like to direct our podcast audience to a passage of scripture. It's believe Acts 10:38 where it says, "Jesus went about doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil because God was with him."

That's our assignment. Go around doing good. We're doing it not to draw attention to ourselves, but we're trying to help these other people who are still under the power of the devil. How can we do that in our own might? We can't. But we can do it as Jesus did because God was with him.

To me those are great marching orders for every Christian, whether you're involved in vocational ministry or you're just trying to represent the Lord where you work, at your school, in your neighborhood, to your family. Go about doing good. You will stand out because that's not typical. And so it does allow us to earn the right to be heard. When that person has a difficulty, a challenge, and we're available and we're supportive and we're there, it gives us the chance to point them in the direction of real eternal help. And that's a great way to build the kingdom.

Dave Stone: I want everybody who's listening, Carolyn 30 years ago, Julie alongside the road, I could go through name after name. Why do those names stand out to Jeff years later and days later? Trust me, friends, Jeff has stories from last week, last month, last year. The names stand out to him because he build a relationship with every one of these people.

He makes himself available. He makes himself accessible. I remember one time calling you, Jeff, and on getting together and we'd meet halfway sometimes to eat and you said, "I can't do it that day." I said, "Why?" He said, "Well, I'm going back up to Columbus," and said the name of a couple who had been neighbors of yours and you had ended up baptizing that couple, but they were having marriage problems. You said, "I'm driving up there to talk with them and spend a couple of hours with them and encourage them to stay together." And that was in a ministry that he had had six or seven years before. He always is interested in building the kingdom.

Each and every time we talk, I stumble onto stories that you're involved in. I love the fact that you're out with the people. One of our previous guests, Daniel Fusco, says, "I do my exegesis work in my office. I do my writing of my messages out with the people in the coffee shops." He said that's where the practical application really comes.

But you've given us so much gold, so many nuggets. Guys, I want you to know, gals, everyone who's listening, I asked Jeff, I said, "I just want you to share stories." He's the most humble person that I know and I know it's awkward for you to share some of these stories and I know you don't want to be the hero of them. You always want Christ to get the glory. I promise you, if we will put into practice what we've heard Jeff say today, our churches will be stronger, our people will catch the spirit of love within us and more importantly than that, they will fall in love with the Jesus that we serve. Thanks buddy, love you.

Jeff Stone: Great being with you. Love you, Dave.

Dave Stone: Well, it's tough for me to say what my favorite takeaways would be on that conversation with Jeff because you really got to catch a glimpse of what he is made of and who he is. Jeff Stone lives out loving people day in and day out.

I think it's easy for us to look at other pastors and to envy success and book sales and numbers and all those things, and many of us we can find ourselves falling to the trap of chasing after the wrong things. I just want you to know this is a man in whom there is no guile. He is always encouraging to everyone. He sees the good in every situation and I think you picked that up and you heard that.

He is an image-bearer of Christ and that's what we're all called to be. We're all called to be this Christian leader who is 24/7. There's a consistency. We are the same person whether we are holding a communion cup or whether we're holding a remote control. God wants us to be that same person.

That's what I appreciate the most about my brother. I got a text from him yesterday and it just had a picture of this young boy. Jeff had met a waitress a number of years ago. She was 16 years old and she was pregnant and unmarried. He and Joani just kind of reached out to her and took her under their wing. That was years ago. Yesterday he sent me a picture of him baptizing that boy. He's grown up now and just to see that long haul relationship that's there.

I'll tell you, I've got a million different stories. I thought today to wrap up, I might just tell you the story of another Jeff story. All right. A few years ago, a waitress seemed to be having a rough day, so Jeff asked if she was okay. She said she was worried about her grandson. Said he's in prison and didn't have many visitors. Jeff told her, "Well, I'd like to pray for him." Said, "What's his name?" Then, "Would you mind if I visited him?" And she said, "Oh no, he's three hours away. You don't want to visit him."

But Jeff got his name, made some calls, and drove to visit him. And then he went back. And he went back every month and he went back for three years every month. Jeff discipled him. When the man was released from prison, he started attending Jeff's church and Jeff had the privilege of baptizing him.

The month before Jeff was going to stop making those long drives, he received a letter from another inmate who coincidentally was at the same prison. He was not connected to the first man, didn't even know him. He just wanted some Bible study materials. So Jeff arranged to meet him on his final visit with this other guy.

When this stranger was escorted into the visitation area for Jeff to get to meet him, Jeff introduced himself. They sat down. Now you have to understand something. At each table, there are two blue seats and there is one red seat. The red seat faces the armed guard and visitors sit in the blue seats and inmates sit in the red seat.

But when the man came in and met Jeff, he sat down in the blue seat next to Jeff. The guard began yelling at the guy and Jeff leaned over and said, "Hey, I think you probably need to move to that chair before you get in trouble." The man was embarrassed but he quickly switched seats.

"Sorry," he said, "I just didn't know." He said, "You're the first visitor I've had since I've been in here." And he had been in there over a year. But he knows where to sit now because Jeff committed to meet with him every month.

And that's my brother. Pastoring people requires love, it requires compassion, and you have to have a heart that's willing to bear burdens. Sometimes it will even take you out of your area code.

Someone said that empathy is when your pain lives in my heart. I like that. It's the language that the deaf can hear and that the blind can see. When you carry someone's burden, you resemble Jesus. I am blessed to have a brother who looks a lot like Jesus.

Well, thank you so much for joining us today. It's a good day for me just to get to have that conversation with Jeff and I hope you enjoyed listening to it as well. His heart for people is a powerful reminder of what faithful ministry looks like. To support you in your calling, we've created a new free resource page that's filled with practical tools and trusted content to help you care for your church, your family, and for your soul. Just click the link below in the show notes and you'll find a lot of different resources.

As always, thanks for listening to Pastor to Pastor. We drop a brand new episode every Tuesday. It's designed to encourage, to inspire, and to challenge you because leadership can be lonely. And that's why we call this Pastor to Pastor. It's to remind you: you're not alone. So until next time, I'm Dave Stone saying God bless.

Guest (Male): Live your truth. A lot of people say that, don't they? But truth isn't something we decide. God has decided it for us. And it's our job as believers to share his truth with a world in need. I'll encourage you to do that through my podcast, Refocus with Jim Daly. I visit with fascinating guests about important topics like gender confusion, cancel culture, and more, while helping you share God's love with others. Listen at RefocusWithJimDaly.com.