1 Peter 3:7-9
Marriages may be “made in heaven,” but the battlefield for a good marriage is here on earth. Men, I want to tell you what I’ve learned about being a husband and father because I sincerely believe the problem in most homes is probably a drop-out dad who’s failing to be what God designed him to be. I want to give you five things from the Word of God to begin doing now, so when all’s said and done, you’ll be a successful husband and dad.
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:7-9
Within this one passage are five ways to be a successful husband and “dwell with understanding.”
1. Practice togetherness
I say “practice” because it doesn’t come naturally. Most men are knuckleheads when it comes to this, so let’s put it this way: What does it mean to dwell with a car with understanding? You study the manual that comes with the car. Guys, you can avoid breakdowns and save trouble if you’ll read the manual in the first place.
The deepest need of a woman’s heart is to have an intimate relationship with her husband. People think “intimacy” refers only to sex, but “intimate” means opening up and sharing your inmost life. Becoming one in marriage has many facets.
Verbal—learn to listen and share your hopes, plans, and dreams. No more “I’m the silent type.”
Emotional—Laugh together, cry together, share fears, heartaches, joys.
Intellectual—Share ideas, books, politics, theology—your deepest thoughts.
Social—Enjoy mutual friends and recreation.
Spiritual—Pray and talk about the things of God with her.
Physical—All these enhance physical intimacy, where two become one flesh.
If you want to be a successful husband, learn to practice all of these.
2. Be understanding.
Live together with good sense. Understand our differences. Accept that we’re wired differently as part of God’s wonderful plan and learn to adjust. We’re equal but not identical, having the same worth but different functions.
3. Honor her
She has exceedingly great value. She’s a meal planner, cook, nurse, counselor, comforter, wardrobe consultant, seamstress, maid, teacher, cheerleader and spiritual advisor. Give her the recognition she’s due.
Put her on a pedestal.
Let the children know how much you love and honor her.
Praise her in front of her friends.
Verbalize those character traits that make her the wonderful person she is.
4. Share freely with her.
We have equal inheritance as children of God (Galatians 3:28). She’s your full partner. Treat her thusly, “…that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Learn to pray with her. Most of us men fail here. A woman wants her husband to pray with her.
5. Deal gently with her
…7 as to the weaker vessel…
Not the inferior vessel. A porcelain teacup is more fragile than a sledgehammer, but it’s of more value.
Be compassionate. Let her know when she hurts, you hurt. Love her as your own body. Your best friend should be your wife.
Be courteous. Courtesy is love in little things.
Give your children the best gift you could ever give: the love, joy, fun, and the future we have in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Live intimately with her
Be understanding of her
Give honor to her
Share fully with her
Deal gently with her
The closest thing we have to paradise today is a Christian home.
But you can’t have a Christian home without Christians any more than you could have a cherry pie without cherries. You must give your heart to Jesus Christ.
If you’d like to pray to accept Christ as your personal Savior, follow the prayer at this link.