Living on the Edge

Chip Ingram: Few things in life will make you feel more dirty, ugly, anxious, and unworthy of love than unresolved guilt. Left unchecked, guilt will literally kill your soul. So what's the answer? Well today, we're going to find out. You don't want to miss this.

Dave Druey: Welcome to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Throughout our series called The New You, we've been exploring the unshakable truths of who you are in Christ: chosen, adopted, redeemed, secure, and competent. Today Chip moves into Ephesians 2 and comes face to face with the one thing that most effectively blocks us from living in that identity: guilt. Where it comes from, the difference between true guilt and false guilt, and what God has done to obliterate it once and for all. Here's Chip Ingram with today's message titled "You are Beautiful."

Chip Ingram: It is hard for us to believe, but I would just remind you that if you're a genuine follower of Christ, you've received him as your Savior, he's your Lord, that when God sees you at this moment, you are wanted. You're chosen. You're valuable. You're secure. You're competent. And it feels a little weird for at least some of us men: you're beautiful. Doesn't mean you're pretty, guys. You're beautiful in God's eyes. There's something attractive when he sees you—your inner character, your life, what he's transforming—and in every aspect of you, you're beautiful.

But if there is one thing that can mar that lens and make us men and women feel dirty, ugly, unworthy, and unlovable, it's guilt. If you pull out your teaching note, we're going to talk about guilt. I have seen guilt torture people's lives. Someone has rightly said guilt is perhaps the most destructive of all emotions. I lived with a dad who had overwhelming guilt. At 17 or 18, he was on Iwo Jima and Guam. By his recollection, he killed thousands and thousands of people. After being wounded, he was pulled out and all of his company died but him. He had the guilt of things he did and he had guilt for surviving.

Alcohol was the least of his problems. Outbursts of anger were the least of his problems. Guilt was the core, but he had no idea how to deal with it. As we walk through this message together, I would ask you to whisper a prayer and ask God to give you the courage to be honest with yourself and honest with him because he wants to help you. So much of what you deal with, we deal with, so many of the relational issues, the struggles, and the challenges, their root cause is guilt. But guilt's tricky. There's true guilt, false guilt, guilt feelings, and theological guilt, which is true of all of us.

On the front of your notes, let's define guilt before we get to the solution. The literal meaning is it's a state of having committed an offense. In other words, guilt in and of itself is you actually did something wrong. You violated a standard. In more common usage today, the psychological definition of guilt is an emotional response to the perception that we've broken a prohibition or fallen short of a standard. Dr. Becca Johnson writes, "Thus guilt can be both a fact and a feeling, and the two aren't necessarily related."

You can not feel guilty at all and be very guilty. Sociopaths kill people and feel zero remorse. Some of us violate the law of the land and the law of scripture and we internally feel no remorse because we don't agree with it. By contrast, the opposite is true. Some people have guilty feelings and they're not really guilty. Those of you in this room or those watching that have been abused feel guilty. It's a bizarre thing that the victims feel guilty. You're not guilty, and yet you deal with that guilt. You need to learn to discern between true guilt and false guilt and we're going to address that.

Theologically, guilt is the moral and legal condition of all people prior to salvation. It's our personal accountability and the just condemnation for sin and transgressions against God's law. God is holy and perfect and to have relationship with a holy God, you must be holy and perfect, and all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We are all guilty before God. Prior to receiving Christ and him taking on our sin and us receiving his forgiveness, all mankind is guilty. After we've received Christ, God took our guilt, placed it on Christ, and he obliterated guilt. If you're a genuine follower of Christ, you have no guilt before God.

Some of you are thinking, "Then why do I feel so guilty?" We're going to talk about what that is and how you deal with it. So the last question is, how do you cope with guilt? What are the things that make you feel guilty, true or false? Again, in this little book by Dr. Becca Johnson called *Good Guilt, Bad Guilt*, if this is an area or an issue, I encourage you to read it. She says we feel guilty about some things, but we feel guilty because of others. Listen and just let me ask you to lean back. Which one of these do you identify with?

Things that you feel guilty about: what you should eat or not eat, wasting time, not being a good parent, being lazy or undisciplined, forgetting to call your mom or email your boss or get back with people who have given you a message. Do you feel guilty about habits like smoking or biting your nails or not exercising or too much time in front of the TV or the net? Or maybe you feel guilty about not praying often enough or long enough or Bible study. She says we not only feel guilty about certain things, but we feel guilty because of certain things.

Like not liking one of your children, having an abortion, being in an affair, struggling with lust or pornography or masturbation or fantasies, not saying anything but not feeling or treating your mate well because you don't feel any love for them, stealing from work, lying, or being a private compulsive gambler. The list could go on. Most of us deal with our guilt in unhealthy ways, doing exactly what our first parents did. Number one, we hide it. Number two, we deny and excuse. And then number three, we usually blame other people.

"I'm like this because of my parents." "Well, I wouldn't steal except they don't pay me a good salary anyway." And pretty soon it's, "I wouldn't be on the internet if my wife was more affectionate." We all have a drug of choice to cover our guilt when we don't follow God's way. Now let's get to the solution side. God does not want you living with guilt. God has taken care of our guilt and he has an antidote. He wants you to know that guilt is a formidable and complex foe. He wants you to know the difference between true guilt and false guilt.

He wants you to understand the danger that sometimes you feel guilty when you shouldn't, and the even greater danger that sometimes you don't feel guilty and you really should. So here is examining the universal problem. Ephesians 2:1-3: "As for you," Paul writes to the Gentiles inspired by the Holy Spirit, "you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you walked in the ways of the world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient."

All of us—the reference Jew, Gentile, all people, all mankind—lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings—the word is lust, our passions—and our sinful nature, following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and there's more in just a moment. Did you know you can access every message in this series and hundreds of others completely free anytime at livingontheedge.org? Whether you want to listen again, share a lesson with a friend, or explore additional resources on topics like identity, relationships, or spiritual growth, it's all right there. You'll also find small group materials and practical tools to help you live out what you're learning. It's all waiting for you at livingontheedge.org. Now let's get back to Chip.

Chip Ingram: Now you'll notice I put some things in bold. I'd like you to circle the word "dead," circle the word "disobedient," and circle the word "objects of wrath." The word "dead" here literally means separated. Scripture says in that day when you sin, you'll surely die. Adam died; he was separated from God. But he still was physically alive and had activity. Sin separates us from God. There's nothing we can do to get reconnected to him.

And then he says why: your transgressions. That means you drift off the path or you come to a crossroads—this is right, this is wrong—and you choose wrong. And we all do and we all have. "Sins" is a word that means missed the mark. It was used for someone throwing a spear or shooting an arrow and it falls short, it doesn't hit the target, but it hits other things. Because we've all done that, you are alienated from God. And then he says you're in this lifestyle. There's a world, a culture, and in this culture there's a ruler of the air, Satan.

There's a way that people treat one another in disobedience to God. They manipulate and they kill and they destroy and they hurt and they abuse. And we've seen it. It's easy to see on the macro: the Bosnias, the Sudans, the ISIS, the Hitlers, the Mussolinis, the Stalins, the 60 or 70 million unborn babies that are killed in America through abortion. The murders that happen both with words and with guns and with knives, the accusations, the racism. He's just saying mankind has lived in disobedience to God and there's fallout and there's consequence.

He says this passion, this craving, this nature that we have inherited from Adam makes you the object of God's wrath. Literally, God hates evil, and because he's both holy and just, he must punish evil. The summary is we are guilty and we are members of a condemned, dysfunctional family. There's sin in me and in every other human being. The theologians call this total depravity. There's a fundamental issue and most of us, if we've been in the secular public arena, we have been told that man is basically good.

We're all basically good and with enough education or the right environment, there's a utopia out there somewhere, somehow, or through technology. When people come into power, even if they have a just cause, you just go through history and what you will find is the same pattern: corruption, greed, immorality, and the haves and the have-nots. Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful above all else and desperately wicked. Who can understand it? Here's my question: do you believe that?

Until you face the problems, until we see we are separated from God—that's our past—in the present we live disobedient lives apart from Christ and the end is destruction. There's judgment because God is fair. In his mercy and his love, notice what he does: understanding God's solution. Look at your text, verse four: "But!" In the Greek language, it's like glaring, red, flashing lights. "But!" Yes, all that negative is true, "But God, because of his great love for us"—he's rich in mercy—"he intervened. He made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions."

Then Paul gets excited and he wants to jump to his next spot and put in brackets, "for by grace we are saved." He just goes, "Oh, this is so exciting!" But then he goes on with this thought: "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus." Why? "In order that in the coming ages"—this is a word for aeons and aeons—"that he might show the incomparable riches of his grace that he expressed in his kindness to us through Jesus Christ."

With your pen, second line, would you underline "with Christ"? Skip a line, go down next, underline "with Christ." The next line, underline "in Christ Jesus." Last line, write "in Christ Jesus." Does anyone make an observation? Is there anything about what you just underlined that tells you the solution? Yes, we were dead apart from Christ, disobedient, and we deserve the righteous condemnation of God. But in Christ, in Christ, in Christ, in Christ. He flipped every one of them. Instead of dead, he made us alive. The word is quickened.

The moment that you receive Christ and you were joined with him, you were dead spiritually—boom—you were made alive and reconnected to God the Father. Second, he raised you up. You were co-resurrected. Jot down Romans 6:4. Instead of walking in disobedience, he says that we died with him and since we died with him, we also were raised with him in order that we might walk in newness of life. New power. Sin doesn't have power over you anymore as a follower. Death no longer stings. Satan defeated.

You walk in newness of life. Finally, instead of destruction, you are seated with him in the heavenly places. Literally, a better word is you're enthroned. The disobedience of this world, there's a ruler and there's a power, the enemy. He's orchestrating it through people's flesh and desires and passions and selfishness and anger and violence. And he goes, "No, no, no, you're out from under that dominion and now you've been enthroned with Christ. You're a brand new person."

That's why God sees you differently: as wanted, secure, valuable, and competent. And guys, even beautiful. Jesus' intervention rescued us from condemnation and into his family. Rescued. Notice from and into. The answer is Christ. It's the only answer for personal peace and the only answer for peace in the world. Look at this text. The motive, verse four, jot down: God's love. God didn't rescue you because you're special or wonderful or nice. He rescued you because he loves you. God is good to you not because you're good, it's because he's good.

Beyond his motive, his action: instead of death, he made you alive. Instead of disobedience, he raised you to walk in newness and power. Instead of future destruction, there is future hope. And his purpose is to demonstrate and reveal. Did you realize this? You're this trophy. You're this fallen, hurting person who's done things wrong like I have. Some have received abuse and difficulty and pain. We all have this stuff. But God wants to transform you and it is a journey and a process and it's often painful. That's why I ask you to pray.

Could you be honest? Could you just quit pushing and settling for substitutes and sedating your pain and ask yourself, "Why do I do what I do?" God has solved your problem and my problem. God has solved the problem for whosoever will. God wants to eradicate and obliterate not just theologically your guilt, but the experience of guilt and guilty feelings so that you can live a free life. Notice how he did it. This is his provision. Verse eight: "For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith. And this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God. It's not of works," so no amount of trying hard or willpower. You can't solve this. The reason is "so that no one can boast."

Grace: the free, unmerited love of God that put Christ upon the cross after living a perfect life to be your substitute to pay for your sin, to atone. All that you deserved and I deserved was placed upon Christ. And that's why he said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" because the Father turned away from the Son in that millisecond because the just condemnation and anger of God was placed on Christ so it shouldn't be on me. And just as I was given hereditarily the sin of Adam, now I get the imputed righteousness of Christ. That's who you really are. Our restoration can only begin, however, when we recognize the full extent of our need.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we'll hear more in just a moment. Our message is titled "You are Beautiful," and you can revisit or share this impactful lesson anytime by going to livingontheedge.org. Chip walked us through Ephesians 2 today with uncommon honesty: dead in our transgressions, disobedient, objects of wrath. Because you can't fully receive the "But God" of verse four until you understand just how desperate the situation was before it.

Dead spiritually, unable to reconnect with God on our own, and then the Father intervened. He made us alive with Christ, raised us up, and seated us with him in the heavenly places. And all of that flows entirely from his love and mercy, received through faith as a free gift. And if you want to keep unpacking that gift every day, Chip's brand-new devotional, *Growing Deeper in Christ*, a 365-day journey to true discipleship, is a perfect next step. A few focused minutes in God's Word each day, letting the reality of your new identity take root a little deeper.

Now if you've never given to this ministry before, or if you'd like to join as a monthly partner, we'd love to send you a copy as our thank-you gift. For over 30 years, Living on the Edge has brought the redemptive truth of the Gospel to people who desperately need it. And it reaches them because of partners who believe this mission matters. Make your first gift or sign up as a monthly partner today by visiting livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. Now let's get back to Chip.

Chip Ingram: As we wrap up today's program, we did some heavy thinking and lifting. I gave you the literal meaning of the word guilt, I did the psychological meaning of guilt, we talked about false guilt, true guilt, guilt feelings, and then I gave you the theological meaning of guilt: real moral guilt. In other words, when we're actually guilty. We knew what was right and we didn't do it, or we knew what we shouldn't have done but we did it anyway.

We're living in a day where even the idea of guilt—"Are you guilting me, man?" or "Oh, you said that and you made me feel guilty," or "Don't say that, one of our kids might have guilty feelings." The fact of the matter is that there are times when you do something wrong, when you think something wrong, when you say something that you know is wrong that violates God's standard. You should not only feel guilty, you are guilty, and so am I. And there's a remedy for that. It's called forgiveness, it's Christ's work on the cross.

However, it gets mixed up because we have family of origin issues and we have false guilt. We feel guilty for things that God doesn't say are wrong or bad but we've been conditioned and trained. So what I want you to know is that it gets very, very confusing and complex. The first step is to get clear on the true moral guilt, own it, face it, and receive God's forgiveness. Then in our next program, we're going to begin to talk about how do you sort of splice the true guilt from the false guilt, and how do you live with freedom?

The actual title of this message is "You are Beautiful," and I can hear some guys in the back of their mind going, "Hey buddy, I don't know what you're talking about but I'm not real comfortable. 'Handsome' would work, but not 'beautiful'." You are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto a good work. And that word workmanship is his masterpiece, his poem, his tapestry. What I want you to know is that God has forgiven you by his grace for a beautiful, mind-boggling, absolutely wonderful purpose and agenda that he's made you especially for.

But guilt makes you feel and makes you live as though you're not only unworthy, but you bring no value to life. In our next program, we're going to unpack why God sees you as beautiful and the purpose he has for your life. You don't want to miss it.

Dave Druey: Most of us have guilt we've never fully dealt with, but God has obliterated your guilt at the cross, and he sees something altogether different when he looks at you. I'm Dave Druey, inviting you back for a redemptive lesson next time on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.