Living on the Edge

Chip Ingram: Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, how do you become a good leader? I mean a mom, a dad, that's a good leader in your home? How do you become a good leader at work? How do you lead where God has you because we all have influence and that's what leadership is. Today we're going to talk about what the Apostle Paul teaches Timothy about how to be a good leader. Stay with me.

Dave Druey: What kind of person does God actually use? Well, today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram opens to 1st Timothy, chapter 3, and walks us through the profile Paul gave his young protege, Timothy: the qualities that make a leader above reproach. But Chip's point is bigger than a checklist for church elders. The underlying word he keeps pressing on is integrity. Not just honesty, but integration. Faith woven into every relationship, every conversation, every corner of your life. I'm Dave Druey, and we're in a series called, "You Can Make Disciples: Personal Coaching from the Apostle Paul." Today's lesson is titled, "Step In."

Chip Ingram: So we're in chapter 3, 1st Timothy. We pick it up. It is a trustworthy statement. If any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. And then he says an overseer or an elder must be above reproach: the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching. All pretty positive. Not indulging in much wine, not a bully, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man doesn't know how to manage his own household, how will he care for the church of God? And by the way, not a new convert so he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church so he will not fall into disgrace and the snare of the devil.

I mean, you know what this list is? Be a Christ-like man. Be a godly man. In other words, Timothy, I just want you to know, this is what a pastor does. This is what leaders do. And then he talks about the household of God, which is the church of the living God, not a religious institution, that's the pillar and the support. Put a box around this one in your Bible: "the truth." And beyond measure, great is the mystery of—circle the word—"godliness." And then there's this mantra, this code, that they wanted to summarize the work of Jesus in the church. And so it went like this: He who was revealed in the flesh—incarnation—was vindicated by the spirit at his baptism, seen by angels in temptation. Remember after he defeated Satan, the text says and he was ministered to by angels. Proclaimed among the nations—the discipleship process went forward. Believed on the world, taken up into glory—ascension.

And he gives us this picture. The coaching nuggets that I have for you is that I write to you so that you'll know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God. And what I would ask you is how are you conducting yourself in the household of God? And by the way, don't just picture the building. I'm talking about the living stones, the relationship, the reality of the church of God, the pillar and support of the truth. And then our response, "If any man aspires..." And let me encourage you to underline, "sets his heart" on the office of overseer or I think just being a godly man. It's a fine work he desires to do.

And here's I think the ultimate criteria, honestly. His first line: "must be above reproach." The way you're above reproach is you take all the other things and you go on a journey to become like that, and then you end up above reproach. So, okay, thank you, Paul. If I was in Ephesus and my name was Timothy, I would kind of know what I was supposed to do, right? Who I'm supposed to look for. Here's the profile. I need to develop these kind of leaders. Here's my question: what's this got to do with us? What's the application in the 21st century? And I'm going to suggest that the subject here is leadership in the church because all scripture is profitable. It's inspired by God. So this passage, like the last chapter and every other passage, is here to equip us and encourage us and help us to be men of God who be equipped and adequate for the good work God has for us.

The underlying issue here, I think, is integrity. And when I say the word integrity, I mean beyond honesty. We tend to think of integrity as, well, I'm honest. Integrity, it's actually a numerical word: integration. It's the integration of your faith in every area of life and relationships. The way I think about it is you live the same way Monday afternoon at 4:00 as Sunday morning at 11:00 AM. Same way at 2:00 AM watching TV with no one around. Same way in front of your computer. Same way when someone comes onto you at work. Same way when you have a couple beers with the guys. It's just that your faith is integrated in every relationship with everyone.

That's basically what it means to be a godly man, isn't it? It sounds like just someone who's taken the instruction of the truth of the Lord Jesus Christ and is loving others with a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. And so I think the underlying question is, am I willing to set my heart to become a godly man and fulfill God's purpose for my life? Could I pause just a minute? That is a huge question. Here's what I'll tell you for sure: everyone is pursuing becoming someone. In fact, if we could do an inventory and I don't know you all, you don't know me, but I can just tell you that the person sitting in your seat, if we could back up a camera five years or 10 years and I could have someone just pour out of your brain, "Here's all the things you've read, all the things you've studied, all the places you've been, all the decisions you've made, all the relationships you have," it would produce the person sitting in your chair right now.

And here's the deal: five years from now, you will not be who you long to be, hope to be, dream to be. You will be the person depending on what you put into your mind, who your friends are, the decisions that you make. But it all starts with something very simple. Unconsciously, we all set our heart on something. And Christians, we're like liars. Don't verbalize what your dream for your life is. Just sit down. I've asked a lot of guys to do this. "Would you? Let's have a small group Bible study." See if you can get anyone to do this. I'm coming up with goose eggs. Maybe one person privately. "Let's really become men of God. You bring your tax return and I'll bring my tax return and let's put on the table where all of our money came in, where we spent it, where we saved it, and where we gave it. I'll bring my credit card statements and my computer."

Next, here's my browser. Go real fast. I want you to see everywhere I've been on the internet and everything I've checked out, every site I've ever been in the last year. By the way, here's my—I mean, you show me where your time goes, where your finances go, and where your mind goes and your energy goes. I'm telling you, that's where you're headed. But what we have this amazing ability—and I think the enemy works much—is we live in this denial like I really verbalize, so I believe my own lies. I want to be this kind of man. I want to be this kind of husband. I want to be this kind of Christian. And my behavior says I'm becoming this kind of man, this kind of husband, this kind of Christian, and there's conflict. See, a good conscience is they're integrated. Perfect? Absolutely not. In fact, one of the marks I think of a godly man is you hear them repent a lot. I find in my deep relationships with them, we're telling one another, "Man, I messed up last night. I was critical of my wife," or, "I was way too hard on one of my kids," right? Or for some of you, "Man, I'm not a big drinker personally, but I had a few too many beers," or, "That third glass of wine kind of... I said some things I shouldn't."

That doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means you're probably pretty authentic. But instead, we've got this culture where people—I think most Christians spend more energy trying to project and pretend that we're better than we are than actually working at becoming who God wants us to be. So here's the action: is step in. I want to encourage you to revisit your life goals. If you don't have any, it's a great time. You can revisit them. And then I would think, how does God measure success? Would you think like the God of heaven, the living God, the hope of the church that's the pillar and the support of truth that would look and say, "Oh, Gabriel, come here. See that guy? Man. Oh yeah, he's got his issues. They all do. They're fallen creatures. But man, I love his heart. He's set his heart to become like my son. He brings me such..." Even like the Bible says, Proverbs talks about God finds great delight in the prayers of his godly ones. That he sings over you. That because of what Jesus has done, his arms are not crossed, his toes not tapping, and the God that you serve doesn't have a bony finger going, "Step up, step up, step up," but he's really saying, "Come on out, come on out, come on out. I love you. We can do this together. Surrender unto me. Let my power flow through you. Realign your life and your goals and let me make you like my son."

Dave Druey: Stay with us. More from Chip Ingram in just a moment. This is Living on the Edge. Did you know Chip's teaching is also available on YouTube? It's a great way to go deeper or share a message with someone in your life. Just go to YouTube and search "Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram." You'll find complete video teaching series, life lessons with Chip, and content you won't see anywhere else. While you're there, hit subscribe so you never miss anything new. That's Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram on YouTube. Now back to today's message.

Chip Ingram: The unspoken need is to develop character. And over the years, I call it the pathway to spiritual maturity. And Jesus came—remember John 10:10—I came that they might have life and life abundantly. Bio is life, right? Biometrics, biochemistry, bio-technic... There's all kinds... And so I took that little acronym: BIO. That means come before God daily. Come before God daily. Offer your body as a living sacrifice every day. Seek first the kingdom of God daily. Get into the scriptures daily. Talk to God daily. Listen to good podcasts daily. Memorize a verse and set your heart daily.

The B was before God. And then when you come before God daily, what you'll find is there's lots of commands that you can't keep. In fact, they're impossible. They're in the second person plural in English. In other words, it's you all love one another. You all honor one another. You all... And so the I was for in community. In community weekly. And in community, I don't mean not just a small group. I mean from the heart, go deep, be honest, be real, get authentic. Let the real you meet real needs for the right reason and the right way. Let your love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. That's Romans 12:9 and 10 or so.

And then finally, would you be willing to be on mission 24/7? I mean, from the moment that you get up before you walk out the door, if you're married, these are my kids, here's my wife, I'm on mission. I'm going to serve. I'm on mission. I'm going to drive like I'm on mission. But you're on mission because you're a servant. And then when you show up, you're a servant leader. And when you repair the plumbing here and the electrical here and when you build the house over there, you're a servant. And then you're a servant in the church. You discover what your spiritual gifts are. And you're not just like, "Hey, I sat, I listened, we ate lunch, I thought it was pretty good. What do you think? There's a ball game." That Christianity got us nowhere. It's you active, you participate. Will you own your own spiritual growth? If Jesus said he came to give you life and life abundant, would you own the discipline and the pattern of coming before God daily, doing life in community weekly, and being on mission 24/7? And what I'm telling you is that will change the course of your life. Everybody's on a path. And I used to do this all the time, but I'm just going like through Proverbs, through Proverbs, through Proverbs, then I go through Proverbs, then after that, I go through Proverbs. And I'm just seeing the path, the path, the way, the path, the path, the highway, the path. There's a path that goes this way, a path that goes this. Path of the righteous, path of the evil. BIO is a pathway to godliness.

I was 28 years old. I've got three kids. I'm going to school full-time. I'm working full-time now in a little church, and I'm stretched from end to end. There's not enough time. I barely can pay my bills, and sometimes I can't pay my bills. And I had the privilege of being in a brown bag lunch with one of my mentors, a guy named Howard Hendricks, who was a professor. And he got up on the board and he wrote four words. And the first one was priority. And he said, "Who do you really want to be?" And then he wrote another word a little bit later that said schedule. "If that's really important, where is it in your schedule?" And then he wrote another word: discipline. He said, "Are you willing to pay the price to become that kind of person?"

And then he said, "Guys, you're all a bunch of workaholics, overachievers. That's who this seminary tends to attract." He said, "I want you to write something down: God will never love you any more or any less than he loves you right now. Period. When you pray, he loves you. If you forget to pray, he loves you. You read your Bible this morning, he loves you. You don't read your Bible, he loves you." His love isn't earned. It's not a performance. Christ died for all your sins before you were even born and committed any of them. Now, it doesn't mean that there's lax, but you can't earn his love. He said, "So then life really is rather than trying to prove something to others, in my case to my dad, if you really would believe you're really loved, then the way you say thanks to God is by who you want to become."

Dallas Willard had a great line. He said the greatest gift you'll give to anyone and especially to the world is nothing that you accomplish, but who you become. And I was tired. I was just applying all my workaholic tendencies to my faith. And it was 32 miles from downtown where the seminary was out to where this little community where I was pastoring this little church. And I'll never forget, I pulled off at the Grand Ole Dairy Queen. And I just couldn't shake: "If I really believe God loves me, who do I want to become?" And I'm famous for not having a lot of paper with me, so I started to take DQ napkins and I wrote down, "I want to become a man of God. I want to become a great husband. I want to become a great father. I want to become a great friend. I want to become a great pastor one day." And I don't know why I said this, but maybe it was because where I was and I was struggling: "And I want to stay in shape until the day I die."

And then I remember what Professor said about my schedule. And I got out a sheet of paper and in that Dairy Queen, I said, "Okay, I'm going to spend this block of hours every morning, a minimum of hour with God every day." And then I put a block where every Friday morning for four hours, I'm going to have a date with my wife. And then I put in these five out of seven nights, we're going to eat dinner as a family. And then I, you know, I had a couple buddies and they like to play hoop like I did, and I thought, "Okay, I'm going to plug into my schedule. I'm going to work out with these guys and share my heart about where I'm really at instead of who I wish I was." And then I put my kids, I put all my kids on my calendar so I'd meet with them individually at least every other week along with what we did. And every Friday night, this is what we're going to do as a family.

And did I do it perfectly? No. But I will tell you what: from age 28 until all my kids were grown and some of those things I'm still just pressing ahead, I set my heart to be a man after God's own heart. I set my heart. And we've had lots of struggle because of our alcoholic family past, both hers and mine. Lots of struggles in our marriage, but we got 42 years under our belt. I've got four grown kids that have had their ups and downs, but they walk with God, okay? I'm not promising that everything comes out your way, and it's been extraordinarily hard. Set your heart to be a godly man and get it from some general idealized something, someday, some way into a schedule where you come before God, do life in community, and get on mission 24/7. And early on, oh, building the new habits, deciding to not watch TV at night, a weird thing happened. I went to bed an hour earlier, ended up didn't need an alarm. God woke me up usually by 5:00 or a little before. I added two hours to my day. Life changed. You have certain things that you unconsciously do that are a sheer waste of time and distraction, taking you to places to become the man you don't want to be. Substitute them, and then be very gracious with yourself because you're going to mess up a lot, because God is very gracious with you. And then find a band of brothers. Find a couple, three guys that say, "Come hell or high water, we're going to be this kind of man. We're going to be this kind of man." And when you blow it, and you will, with tears streaming down your face, you shoot straight, "Man, I went to a place that I haven't been in a long time and it wasn't good," and you repent and you're accepted and you get loved and you get back up. It's the Christian life.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled, "Step In," part of a series called, "You Can Make Disciples: Personal Coaching from the Apostle Paul." We'll hear more from Chip in a moment. If you'd like to revisit today's message or share it with someone, you'll find it on the Living on the Edge podcast. Subscribe wherever you listen. And for the complete unedited version of Chip's message, check out the Chip Ingram sermon podcast. Chip kept coming back to one word today: integrity. And his point wasn't that you have to be perfect, you just have to set your heart on it. If today's message inspired you to make a change, Chip's book, "Yes! You Really Can Change" is the next practical step. And because this series is about discipleship, the way Jesus poured into his disciples, we're including an extra copy with every purchase. Share it with a friend, a family member, or someone who's ready to grow but isn't sure how to take that next step. Look for the book, "Yes! You Really Can Change" at livingontheedge.org/offers.

If Living on the Edge has been part of your walk with God, we'd love for you to be part of keeping it going. A gift of any amount goes directly toward reaching more people with this kind of practical biblical teaching. Give today online at livingontheedge.org or by calling 888-333-6003. You can also give by mail by writing to Living on the Edge, PO Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia, 30302. Chip, today's teaching from 1st Timothy 3 is such a good reminder not to strive for perfection, but to build integrity.

Chip Ingram: Well, that is the point, isn't it, Dave, of this whole passage. When we talk about leadership, and the secular research is the number one thing about being a great leader is integrity. And I asked as I was teaching this, I really gave the people in the room time to revisit their goals and how they were going to measure success and to do a personal inventory. And then I wanted to give them a pathway. And so I want to talk to you right now about that. And BIO for us is just it's a rhythm of life. It's a pathway to become a godly, righteous person with integrity. It's not some legalistic thing, but you just can't become like Jesus unless you spend time with him. And so just coming before God every day, making knowing Christ the number one important thing in your life and practicing that.

And then the second is as you come before God and you're in his word, you realize, "I can't live this life. Only the spirit of God can, but I can't do it by myself." And I think about that weekly. I have to have some face-to-face, heart-to-heart, I need to do life where I can share my hurt, share my struggles, share my victories and do life with other people. And whether that's a small group or whether that's three guys at work that are all believers or three women in a Bible study or a couple study, but you have to do life in community. And then you realize that just as Jesus was a servant, we're a servant.

And so from the moment that you get up, to how you drive your car, to how you spend your money, to where you order your coffee, or what you do at work or on the job site or what comes out of your mouth, you're on mission. And Jesus' mission was to seek and to save that which was lost. Paul's mission was to present every person complete, mature in Christ. And they have entrusted us with that mission. And so BIO just gives me some railroad tracks to ask myself on my journey: Am I coming before God? Am I doing life in community? And am I on mission 24/7? I hope that helps.

Dave Druey: Thank you, Chip. I'm Dave Druey. Next time, Chip Ingram unpacks why some people who once walked closely with God eventually walk away. What Paul says about that is something every believer needs to hear. That's next time on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.