Living on the Edge

Kyle Idleman: In the morning just give me direction. Help me know the path I should take. Next verse, Psalm 59:16, "But I will sing of your strength. In the morning. In the morning I will sing of your love. For you are my fortress and my refuge in times of trouble." How you start your day, the thoughts you first think, have a way of setting the direction for the rest of your day, and then ultimately, your days become your life.

Dave Druey: Life is difficult. The Bible never pretends otherwise. But in the middle of grief, confusion, and darkness, there's a choice you can make about what you call to mind. It's not positive thinking, it's the ancient wisdom of Lamentations, and it still works today. Welcome to Living on the Edge. I'm Dave Druey, and today Chip Ingram invites guest teacher Kyle Idleman to present the final message in a study about keeping every thought captive. Chip set the stage.

Chip Ingram: This whole series is about something that happens inside your mind and my mind, and that life change actually happens in the root of all life change is in our thinking. So we need to get the truth in our mind. What I love about Kyle's teaching in this series is I know Kyle, he's authentic. He's real. He's sharing real life stuff that you struggle with, I struggle with, and then he helps us learn through scripture and science how to put into practice taking every thought captive so that the Spirit of God can take the Word of God in the context of community and see those areas that need to change in your life and my life become a reality.

Dave Druey: Thanks, Chip. Today's message from Kyle Idleman is titled "Win the Morning."

Kyle Idleman: What I want to do is talk to you about taking your thoughts captive at a certain time of the day, specifically taking your thoughts captive first thing in the morning. And what I discovered is that there's a reflection of this in scripture, like the Bible would teach and would prioritize, I believe, how we spend our morning hours, our time with God in the morning. And so it was just really clear to me that this is biblically emphasized, this idea of connecting with God in the mornings, of meeting God in the morning, of taking my thoughts captive when I first wake up.

I started to wonder if maybe science backed this up. In other words, if this is true in scripture, maybe it's true biologically. Maybe this is how we're made neurologically, that God has wired us in such a way that our brains are especially moldable in the mornings. And turns out, they are. When you wake up, your brain moves from delta waves to theta waves to alpha waves. And in that time, important things are happening that determine whether you respond or you react to whatever happens to you throughout the day.

Dr. Andrew Huberman and his research for Stanford University uses some language I find really helpful. He calls the morning hours your neuroplasticity window. You've got a couple hours in the morning that are your neuroplasticity window because in those few hours, your thinking disproportionately shapes your brain. This is the way our brains work, that whatever you tune into to begin your day is what you listen to throughout the rest of your day.

Play this out with me. You wake up. You immediately grab your phone. There's a news alert, another tragedy. A political post makes you all angsty to start your day. A couple of messages from work marked urgent that you missed during the night. You've not even gotten out of bed yet, and you're already dealing with anxiety and anger and feeling overwhelmed. But what really the cost of this is what happens the rest of the day. Because it's not just in that moment, but now you're setting yourself up where small inconveniences, you're reactive to them, they feel like a crisis. Traffic makes you furious. Your coworker's innocent comment feels like an attack and you're reactive. It's because you primed your brain for chaos at 6:47 in the morning.

Maybe instead of checking the news, you get on your phone and the first thing you do before you can even get out of bed, you look at Instagram and your friend's posted their stupid perfect vacation pictures. A fitness influencer you follow has been up for like four hours already and before you've even had your coffee, you're feeling inadequate and insecure. And so what that does for the rest of the day is it primes it. Now you're measuring yourself against others, your accomplishments feel small, your appearance is lacking, and you spend the day feeling less than because that's what you primed your mind for.

Think of the flip side of that. What if you take your thoughts captive and you wake up and before you even reach for the phone, you say, "Okay, God, before I get out of this bed, I'm going to think of three things today that I have to be grateful for." And you say it out loud. And maybe the first thing is "I woke up." Maybe that's what you go with. And you pick a couple of other things and you say it out loud. And what happens? Well, the rest of the day, you've primed yourself for some gratitude.

You can notice things that maybe you would have missed otherwise. And this time when the traffic is heavy, you find something to be grateful for. The podcast that you're listening to, or work is stressful and you notice a coworker who's there for you that maybe you would have missed otherwise. And you respond instead of react because you primed your brain to see some blessings. This is what it looks like to take your thoughts captive, is you recognize in the morning what you see, what you look for is what you're going to see the rest of the day. The station you tune into is what you're going to listen to the rest of the day. I want you to take a look at a parable that I call the Parable of the Smudge.

Guest (Male): Kristen had always dreamed of visiting the picturesque coastal town of Seaview. She'd seen countless photos online of its stunning cliffs, pristine beaches, and vibrant sunsets. Finally, after years of saving, she booked a weeklong stay at a highly rated Airbnb perched on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. As soon as she arrived, Kristen rushed to the large picture window that dominated the living room wall. This was the view everyone raved about in the reviews. But as she approached, her excitement quickly turned to disappointment. There, right in the center of the window, was a small but noticeable smudge.

She spent the next hour trying to clean it off, but it seemed to be in between the window panes, impossible to reach. For the rest of her stay, Kristen found herself fixated on that smudge. When she looked out the window, instead of seeing the vast expanse of the sparkling ocean, the rugged beauty of the cliffs, or the glorious colors of the sunset, all she could focus on was that small, blurry spot. Her photos all seemed to showcase the smudge rather than the view. And the more she saw it, the more she saw it.

She finally shut the curtains so she wouldn't have to see the smudge anymore. She spent most of her vacation indoors, feeling cheated and frustrated. She barely noticed the sound of the waves or the fresh sea breeze when she briefly ventured out. On the last day of her stay, Kristen left a scathing review. "I don't understand why everyone raves about the view of this place. All I could see was a dirty window." As Kristen got in her car to leave, a young couple was just arriving to check into the Airbnb. The woman gasped with excitement as she got out of the car, pointing at the view in awe. She said, "Look at that sunset! It's even more beautiful than in the pictures." Kristen glanced into her rearview mirror as she was driving away, hoping to catch a glimpse of a spectacular golden sun sinking into a violet and pink sky. But she couldn't help but notice, right there on her rearview mirror, was a smudge.

Kyle Idleman: The more you see it, the more you see it. Some of you are just smudge people. You do this really well. It doesn't matter how beautiful the view is out that window, you're going to find the smudge and you're going to notice it. The Bible would teach us that we have more control over this than maybe we realize. That if we will take our thoughts captive, if we'll look for the beautiful, we'll see the beautiful. If we look for the good, we'll see the good. If we look for the praiseworthy, we'll see the praiseworthy. And so how you start off each day will largely determine what you see during the day.

I want us to spend a few minutes just looking at an example of this from the Old Testament. A prophet by the name of Jeremiah is having the worst morning of his life, kind of the worst morning in his nation's history. Jerusalem had been destroyed, people were starving, and he walks the street of the once beautiful city and his heart breaks. He sees his people, but really he sees God's people, the Israelites, rummaging through trash looking for food. And it's not the way it should be. These are God's people. Why wouldn't God take care of them? Why wouldn't God protect them?

He smells the stench of death and he breaks down and the tears come and he starts weeping. And as he cries, he hikes up to this cave that overlooks Jerusalem and he wants to pray, but he doesn't know how. And we have written for us the book of Lamentations as he processes his thoughts. Lament means to express grief or sorrow in a passionate or intense way, to weep or to wail. This is Lamentations. It's interesting the way the book is laid out. It's laid out as a bit of poetry.

You have five chapters in Lamentations. Chapters one and two and chapters four and five all have a similar rhythm to them where he takes the Hebrew alphabet and each verse starts with the corresponding letter of the alphabet. Twenty-two letters, and he just goes through. In chapter one, "here's all the things I have to lament about," alphabet. All the things he has to lament about chapter two, and then the same thing in chapter four and five. It'd be like us wanting to make our complaints known to God, and so we're like, "where do I even start? I've got so many of them."

How about A? And A is for anxiety, and B is for bullying, and C is for cancer, and D is for divorce, and E is for eating disorders, and F is for financial difficulties, and we just work our way down. And chapter two, "I can do another round of this." And we just go through it. And that's how Lamentations is written. But sandwiched between chapters one and two and four and five is chapter three. And chapter three gives praise and thanks to God.

The whole book is written as a bit of an illustration of what it looks like for us as believers to lament. And the book is of course bookended with sorrow and grief and frustration and confusion and disappointment, but it's sandwiched around "be joyful always, give thanks in all circumstances, pray continually." There's an important principle in lamenting. When we find ourselves overwhelmed by the reality that life is difficult, one of the important principles for us as followers of Jesus is to start, but don't stay.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge, and today's teaching from guest teacher Kyle Idleman continues in just a minute. His message is available anytime at livingontheedge.org. Listen again, share it with a friend, or explore hundreds of additional programs all free, all online. You can even search for specific topics like parenting, personal growth, and unchangeable truths. Plus, find small group resources and practical tools to help you live the Christian life every day. It's all waiting for you at livingontheedge.org. Now let's get back to today's message.

Kyle Idleman: This is where you start being very honest with God about your fears and your frustrations, about anger and bitterness, about the hurt that you're carrying. You don't pretend that everything's fine when everything isn't fine. You start there, but you don't stay there. David models this beautifully throughout the Psalms where he is uncomfortably honest with God about how he feels around some of the circumstances he's dealing with. He starts there, but he doesn't stay there. A term for this in neuroscience would be cognitive reappraisal. It's a reframing where you recognize the reality of your emotion or of what you're going through, but with the intent of letting it draw you closer to God.

When you're in a season of lament, it will drive you further away or it can drive you closer to God. You start there, but you don't stay there. With God's help, you ask him to show you a different way of looking at things. You get a different perspective. So you begin with some honest questions, but you're not just rehearsing your lament. You're releasing it to God. You're not just focusing on your problems, but you're focusing on his promises. That's what Jeremiah does. He sits in a cave, looks down at the ruins, and in the middle of these really dark circumstances, here's what he does. Listen.

He makes a choice about what he's going to think about. That's what we read in verse 21 of chapter three. He said, "Yet this I call to mind." Despite all these A to Z things that aren't going my way, "this is what I'm going to call to mind and therefore I have hope." Because he's going to be intentional with his thinking, he's going to find some hope. When you're lamenting, you have to be intentional about what you're going to call to mind. That's what Jeremiah does. We see three things that he calls to mind.

First, God's compassions never fail. Verse 22 through 23, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning." That every morning, God will show you his compassion and his mercy. You have to look for it sometimes. You pray that he'll show it to you, give you eyes to see it. The word "new" here is like new of a different kind. It's not like saying, "Well, we had eggs for breakfast today, we're having new eggs for breakfast tomorrow." It's like we had eggs for breakfast today and tomorrow we're having waffles. It's new of a different kind.

The idea here is that each day, God will show you some way in which he is redeeming, restoring, rebuilding, a way that he's working, but you need him to help you see it. So you say, "God, it makes no sense to me. I don't understand what's happened or why it's happening. I don't sit where you sit. So tomorrow morning when I wake up, would you help me see that you're compassionate and merciful? Would you let me see that your mercies are going to be new tomorrow? That there's going to be a new way that light shines into the darkness that I can't see from where I sit today? But tomorrow I'll be able to see it." Each day his mercies are new, each day his compassions are new.

As you go through the lament, you just remind yourself that each morning his mercies are new, his compassion is new. The word "compassion" here carries with it this idea of tenderness. Verse 32, "If he works severely, he also works tenderly." Not always the way we think about God. But Jeremiah understood in that moment the tenderness of God. His mercies are new each morning.

Secondly, Jeremiah tells himself, here's something I'm going to call to my mind: "Great is his faithfulness." I'm going to speak that out loud. I'm going to take the thoughts I have captive and I'm going to replace it with this thought: that God is faithful. Lamentations 3:23, "Great is his faithfulness." Even when you can't see it or feel it, even when you don't understand how the situation is unfolding, the sovereignty of God is at work. He is always faithful. He won't let you down.

Third thing he says is, "I'm going to call to my mind, the Lord is my portion." The Lord is enough for me. Verse 24, "I say to myself, the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." I'm not going to put my confidence in anything else. I'm going to put my confidence in him. So when life is difficult, what do you say to yourself? Jeremiah says, "here are the three things I say to myself." Here are the three thoughts that he is constantly thinking: God's compassions never fail, great is his faithfulness, and he's sufficient for me.

I just challenge you starting tomorrow to have a little bit of a morning routine. Now look, don't be getting this thought in your mind that it has to be an hour long. Maybe you do that, good for you. But the duration is not nearly as important as the consistency. What if you just for 10 minutes in the morning say, "Okay, I'm going to be intentional to think through some of these things?" Consistency is more important than the duration. I would just tell you a couple of things, if I could challenge you with.

Number one, do not check your phone. Don't check your phone in the morning. The research is just really clear on this, that when you get on your phone as soon as you wake up, you skip the theta and alpha and you jump straight to the beta phase, which means you're awake and alert, but you're now already in a reactive response. In other words, it's triggering a stress response in you. Unless you want to start your day off primed for distraction and stress, don't do it. Maybe you do. Maybe that's what you want.

You want people to look at you and say, "You know what I like about him? Always distracted. It's my favorite thing. Never quite paying attention and then he's always a little stressed out." If that's what you're going for, do it. Then just get on your phone as soon as you wake up. It's a good way to do that. But otherwise, just don't do it. Stay off your phone for that neuroplasticity window. Then just develop a morning routine. Use Jeremiah as an example of this. It can be different.

But what's he do? He starts with lament. He starts there, but he doesn't stay there. But he does start with it. David does this in the Psalms again where he says, "Hey, here's some heavy things. Here's some challenges I've got to deal with today. Here's some people who are against me. Here's some circumstances I wish I could change." But then he turns the corner and reframes those things, which is taking your thoughts captive where you say, "This is all true, God, but here's what I'm going to call to mind. Yet this I call to mind." Then you declare those three truths over your life.

God's compassions never fail. They're new every morning. Great is his faithfulness. I can count on God today. The Lord is my portion. He's enough for me. Then you pray and you read some scripture. You spend a few minutes in prayer, spend a few minutes in God's word before engaging in the demands of your day. Because life is difficult. I would love to say that it's going to get easier, but there will be more to lament. Pain and suffering will continue to show up uninvited. Economic uncertainties will come. Family dynamics are fragile. Everything is maybe okay today, but tomorrow it might be different.

Lamenting will be a part of your story and my story too. But we are chapter three people. We are chapter three people. That in the midst of it, we praise the Lord. In the midst of it, we remind ourselves of God's faithfulness and his compassion and sufficiency. When Charlie Kirk's wife Erika stood and she made her first public comments after her husband was murdered, she whispered, if you heard her comments, a short prayer that the microphone picked up right before she began. This young widow and mother of two whispered, "Jesus, fill this room" before she spoke.

In her moment of greatest sorrow, when she could have said anything, when she could have cursed the darkness and no one would blame her, she said, "Jesus, fill this room." She could have invited bitterness into the room. She could have allowed fear to fill the room. She could have whispered, "Revenge fill this room." But this young mom in her deepest grief invited the presence of Jesus. As you begin your day, can I just challenge you to whisper those same words? "Jesus, fill this room." Life is difficult. Darkness is real. Grief is heavy. Jesus, fill this room.

Let's pray. Jesus, would you fill this room with your peace and would you fill this room with your power? Jesus, please fill this room. Would you fill it with forgiveness? Would you fill it with your tenderness? Would you fill it with second chances? Jesus, would you fill this room? We love you. It's in Jesus' name. Amen.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with guest teacher Kyle Idleman wrapping up his series Every Thought Captive. Chip Ingram joins us in just a moment with some final thoughts. Kyle left us with a picture that's hard to forget. Kristen at that coastal Airbnb, a stunning view just beyond the glass, and a smudge she couldn't stop staring at. The more she saw it, the more she saw it. And Kyle's challenge was simple and direct: you have more control over what you fix your eyes on than you may realize. Win the morning. Start there, but don't stay there. And when life is at its darkest, call to mind what Jeremiah called to mind. God's compassions never fail. Great is his faithfulness. The Lord is enough.

That's the kind of teaching Living on the Edge exists to bring you every day all across America and around the world. And it happens because of people who believe this mission matters. If you already give to support this ministry, thank you. You may never know this side of heaven the lives your generosity has touched. And if you've held good intentions about giving a gift, today's a great day to join this team. Your gift of any amount empowers us to bring God's Word to the people who need it most. To give, visit livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. We'll now hear from Chip with a final word.

Chip Ingram: Kyle took us to a little interesting place when we think about renewing our mind. He took us to Lamentations. And I love how he showed us that it's okay to start with honest lament. We just can't stay there. So let me say before I go on, everyone doesn't need to keep a journal, but I think if you're a verbal processor, for some of us, writing things down helps. I'm not going to show you my journal, but if I did, you would probably be shocked by the number of mornings it's, "Dear God, I feel really flat today. I don't feel like praying." Or "Dear God, I'm really ticked off about X, Y, and Z and I don't know why I feel this way and I really need your help."

I start with lament because what I know is I got to get honest or I'll just fake it. But here's the key: you can't stay there. Lamentations 3:21, Jeremiah says, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope." That word "yet" changes everything. He makes a choice about what he'll think about. Three truths he declares. Number one, God's compassion never fails. It's new every morning. Number two, great is his faithfulness, and number three, the Lord is my portion. He's your portion. He's enough.

Here's the challenge: develop a simple morning routine. Start with honest lament if you need to, but don't stay there. Then declare God's truth out loud and then spend a few minutes in prayer and God's Word. Most importantly, this will be hard for some of you: don't check your phone first thing. Get it out of your bedroom. Open the Word before you open the world and all of its influences on you. Even 10 minutes a day of winning the morning will cause a chain reaction in your thoughts and then your emotions and then your behavior and then your victory and then your life. I can't encourage you enough: start every morning by making room for God. You'll never regret it.

Dave Druey: Life and hope and peace. That's what we all want. But where do you actually find them when everything you've built comes undone? Well, there is an answer, and it's more than religion. Find out next time here on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.