Living on the Edge

Questions about hypocritical behavior are at the center of Chip Ingram's series 'The New You'. He discusses the consequences of hypocrisy, its impact on relationships and credibility, and its conflict with the teachings of Jesus. Ingram offers insights into living an authentic life and mimicking God's kindness and holiness. The message emphasizes the importance of love, truth, and goodness in overcoming hypocrisy.

Chip Ingram: What can cause lifelong relationships to end suddenly or destroy the credibility of an honored person or institution? One word: hypocrisy. We’ll find out what the scripture says about it and how you and I can be freed from it. Stay with me.

Guest (Male): We all have a story about the first time hypocrisy stung us. Maybe it was in the church, maybe it was in the locker room, maybe it was looking in the mirror one morning and realizing we'd become exactly what we hated. Today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram begins a lesson that takes that universal experience seriously.

Chip holds up an illustration at the top of this message involving a vintage cologne bottle shaped like a Volkswagen. It's a great story. But before we get started, remember you can always revisit these lessons online at livingontheedge.org. With that, here's Chip Ingram.

Chip Ingram: Do you remember the first time that you tasted hypocrisy? I mean the kind of hypocrisy that was ugly. It was distasteful. I don't mean it was mild. I mean it was blatant. And someone really pretended or projected genuine concern and love, and then you realized behind the scenes, they were just ripping you off. And that's why I brought my black Volkswagen.

It is precious to me. It may look just like a black Volkswagen, but this end comes off. You can undo that. It still has it on the bottom. It says Avon Volkswagen Wild Country aftershave. Believe it or not, in about 1973, this was really cool. And I had a little collection of these. My mom, dad, or sister, someone gave me this little black Volkswagen. I mean it was really cool. And I'm on the basketball team in high school.

Right next to me, we had those wire lockers where you could see inside, and right next to me was Harold, who was the star of the team. And so afterwards, I'd shower, take out my precious thing, make sure all the guys could see this. Hoping that just some cheerleader would smell me walking down the halls. And so Harold looks and goes, "Wow, Chip, that is so cool. That is so neat. Boy, those are really hard to get. I think those are so neat and boy, someday, someway, I sure would like to get one of those."

In a moment of weakness to the star player, I'm thinking, I mean, I'm not a Christian or anything. I don't know Christians are supposed to be loving, but I just had this gooey feeling well up in my heart like I would like to be kind. And it was a different car, it wasn't a Volkswagen, I still have this one. And I said, "Harold, I want to give it to you." And he took it, he kind of smiled, and then he went, "Guys, come here, come here, come here. Look at this. You know these things are really hard to get? I got it. Ingram just gave it to me. You sucker."

And I mean, I looked at him and I said, "Harold, I mean you've got to be kidding me, man. I mean you just suckered me in." "Yeah, guys." He was six foot three and a half, about 225, or he'd been in trouble. I was about 134, five nine. But the sting and the hurt and the pain and the anger and I lost total respect, but I mean it was a bait and switch. He actually pretended to like me, drew me in, took my stuff, and then stiff-armed me. Do you remember when that happened to you?

Remember the first time someone really acted like they liked you, cared for you, and then just took the knife and stabbed you? Do you remember when it was? So, I learned to be suspect like you've learned. And I learned to put up my guard. And I learned when people talk, I kind of listen, I put it through a little filter, and I know there's an angle and I know there's a spin and I'm always looking for what's insincere, and we've all learned, right? We play the game.

But there's a few arenas in life where even in a fallen world you expect people to be authentic, right? I mean there's a few little arenas left that you think, I mean if this person says they really love you, they really care for you, this is true. There's a few arenas where you expect that they're not going to be hypocrites. Places like the church. And then what you find out is that they're hypocrites there, too.

Since we're doing a little memory lane walk here, do you remember the first time that you tasted hypocrisy in organized religion? You remember it? Mine is like right here. I was 11 years old. I went to a bit more formal church and it was really beautiful. It had this huge A-frame and all stained glass windows, and the light would come in and had this huge about 40 or 50 foot cross that went across the building.

And you know when you're 10 or 11, I believe God begins to stir and draw you. And I didn't understand it, but I wanted to get nearer to God. And the minister got up and said, "If you really love God and want to help out, we're going to have a work day." And it was mostly for men, but I remember, "Mom, can I go? I want to help. I want to do something for God." And she said, "Yeah, it'll be okay."

So I'm out there digging in the weeds and doing all kinds of stuff, and I come into the church kitchen to get a drink of water. And there's a group of the church leaders and the kitchen is situated where I can look in and there's the worship area. And then I can look out over here and there's these guys sitting down and the behavior is immaterial. But they were participating in a behavior that I'd been told is wrong, and these are the church leaders doing it all sitting around out back.

And you know 11-year-olds aren't real smart, but they're not dumb. And I went, let's see, on Sunday they say don't do this, and we're at a church work day and they're doing that. And then I got a little closer and I started listening. And I heard guys cussing and swearing and making crude remarks and then even some comments about Jesus and this and that. And I'll never forget as 11, I stepped back and I thought, "This is a con. This is a sham."

All this stuff about Jesus, this is just a little moral straitjacket they give to little boys like me to keep me in line, and then when I come of age I go out and sit like them and realize the whole thing's a con. And I vividly remember in my mind thinking, "I never want to be like them." And then I walked into that worship center and I looked at it with all the religious jazz and I thought, "You know something? I don't know much about God either, but they're the leaders so their God must be a lot like them. I don't want anything to do with them and I don't want anything to do with him."

And you just think at least in the church, aren't people going to tell you the truth? Or your parents, aren't they going to tell you the truth? And then you get this hypocrisy. And then I don't know about you, it tasted awful. And I just didn't know if there was anybody I could trust. And I got pretty self-righteous and then I don't want any junk from anybody anytime.

And then as you grow older something happens. This is the scary part. Do you remember the first time as we go down memory lane yet one more time, when you were looking in the mirror one day, a little bit of a personal reflection, and for the first time at significant levels, not like I goofed up a little bit, where you saw hypocrisy in you? Do you remember that? For me, it was high school. I was a skinny kid. Back then, I was desperately insecure. Now, I'm still desperately insecure, but the difference back then was I thought I was the only one.

And so being desperately insecure and thinking you're the only one, I learned this game. I found in the locker room with the guys I could swear and I would cuss and if there's a loose ball I would dive after it and get up in people's face. And when I would dribble, if a guy would reach in, I'd get him with an elbow and bust his nose and say, "Do it again, you'll get more." And I wasn't very big, but I was mouthy. You can imagine this. And I was Mr. Tough Guy. And I befriended the biggest, strongest guys on the team to back me up.

And then what I found is that that was really not a good image for adults. Adults like you to be polite, the all-American boy, get good grades, do civic things. And then I learned that that works in a locker room, that works with adults and to get in college. But with girls, you've got to be sweet and you've got to be smooth and you've got to manipulate. And so you act sensitive and if you play that game, you can get what you want.

I remember the day looking in the mirror when I realized in the dictionary under chameleon was the picture of a lizard and a picture of Chip Ingram. And a chameleon is a little lizard that when it's in brown leaves turns brown, and when it's in bright green grass, it turns bright green. It just meshes in with whoever and wherever, and that was me. And about my junior year in high school, I remember a series of circumstances that allowed a girl, guys from the team, and adults to be in the same room that I became the center of attention and I realized, "Uh oh, who should I be?"

And I had this dissonance in my soul and I realized, "Boy, I don't like me. I don't like me at all." Have you been there? Are there some people that you know, they think a lot better of you and you know it's a game, it's a sham? See, we all hate hypocrisy. I hate hypocrisy in other people. I hate hypocrisy in the church in organized religion. And I hate hypocrisy in me.

Now, finally, did you ever wonder how God feels about hypocrisy? You know if God had a top ten, where would hypocrisy land? Would it be like numbers one, two, and three, it's not that big a deal but don't do it? Or would it be like axe murders and multiple affairs and adultery like an eight, nine, or ten? Where would it play out, do you think? You don't have to wonder. Do you know what it is? It's a ten plus.

The harshest words that have ever been spoken on this planet by the Son of Man, the Lord Jesus, were around the areas of hypocrisy. Do you remember Matthew 23? "Beware of the scribes and the Pharisees, those whitewashed tombs, those blind guides, those brood of vipers, hypocrites." He said, "Beware." He said the harshest, most significant words of reproof ever uttered on the earth toward the most religious people on the planet.

God hates hypocrisy. In fact, he hates it so much, if you would leaf through your Bible and get beyond after Jesus rose from the dead, remember when the early church began to grow and this new light, this new power, this resurrection power? And it always, if it's authentic, it always ends up in love toward one another. And the early church, they were selling their possessions and there were poor people and hurting people, and many of them were slaves and they were being kicked out of their families following this Messiah, and they would bring their money and say, "Hey, just help people." And they did it and did it and did it.

And in Acts chapter four, they tell us a quick picture of a story of a man who gave very generously. And in Acts chapter five, the very first discipline that occurs in the early church occurs. And guess what it's about? It's about hypocrisy. Ananias and Sapphira. Do you remember that story? They see all the people getting all these strokes and Ananias says, "Hey, honey, what do you think? We've got this lakefront property," a little loose translation here, "and we could sell that and say we got this much money for it. But we really will just give part of it away and we'll keep it. And so we'll get our cake and eat it too. Everyone will think, 'mask,' that we're holy and generous and devout. But then we'll get to keep our stuff."

And so Ananias walks in and tells Peter, "Oh, I love God so much and I want to help people so much. I want to give this." And Peter says, "Why have you lied to the Holy Spirit?" And you read the text, boom, he drops dead. His wife comes in later and Peter does a quick dialogue to find out if she's in on the deal. He looks her right in the eye and says, "The feet of those that carried out your husband will carry you out, too." Boom, she drops dead. Over hypocrisy. I mean, he wasn't an axe murderer. He just projected what wasn't true.

Can you imagine if God judged hypocrisy in the church like that today? You'd have to listen to the rest of this message on tape. But why? Why is it such a big deal to God? Turn the page and let's find out. And the reason is explained in Ephesians 5:1-14. And in these 14 verses, God is going to reveal why you hate hypocrisy and why he has zero tolerance for it as well.

It begins in verse one and it says, "Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." Now, if you have a pen, pull it out and circle the word "therefore." Anytime there's a therefore in the Bible, you need to discover what the therefore is therefore.

And the book of Ephesians is an amazing book where the first three chapters talk about new life, new birth, new identity. That when a person receives Jesus as their savior, follows him as the risen Lord, the Spirit of God comes into your life. And it's like a caterpillar that has a brand new birth and becomes, has a new identity. And you are loved and you're accepted and you're secure and you have an inheritance.

And the first three chapters talk about new life, new birth, new identity, new inheritance, new blessing. And the second half of the book says now, since you are totally new and transformed, live in a way that's already true of you. Now we pick it up in chapter five. Therefore, this is what it looks like to live this new life. There's two commands for every Christian to follow. Command number one: mimic God. The word where it says "imitate," the Greek word here we get our word "mimic." Mimic God. How? The way children in a healthy family mimic their parents.

Think on that. When children are loved and in a healthy environment, they mimic those who are in the home. Unconsciously. Their parents didn't say, "Okay, now try this. Ready? Put your hands on your hips, little one." They just picked it up. And God says when you are a child of God, you've experienced the new birth, a new identity, and you are a new creature in Christ, mimic God. What's that mean? Mimic his kindness. Mimic his holiness. As a child in a family, take on and mimic the characteristics of the holy, loving, kind, compassionate God.

And then it plays out to the second command: and love people. And how are we to love people? The same way Jesus loved people. Isn't that what it says? In a warm, accepting, authentic, selfless, sacrificial manner. Love people to the point that it costs you. What's the text say? "Who gave his life." And love people not for what they'll do for you, not to gain strokes, love people as an act of worship. What's it say? "As a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

And so he's going to build his case. And it starts off with this premise: every Christian needs to mimic God and love people. That's the positive side. Now notice the negative side, verses three through six. He's going to give two warnings for every believer to heed. "But," that's a word of contrast. "But," in contrast to mimicking God and loving people, "do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among the saints or believers."

And there must be no filthiness and silly talk or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, the idea for God's people. "But rather the giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty," I mean this isn't up for grabs, this isn't up for debate, this you know as a fact, "that no immoral or impure or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God."

So warning number one: if you're a child of God, by contrast, mimic God and love people. Don't, don't use people. Don't, don't live this other kind of life. And then notice the second warning: "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience." Two warnings for every Christian to heed. Number one: don't use people to satisfy your selfish, lustful agenda, especially with regard to human sexuality.

If we had time to develop it, all those words I underlined, immoral, impurity, greed, filthiness, silly talk, coarse jesting, they all, do a word study on them, I have, they all have sexual connotations. Loving people is about giving and serving and wanting what's best and doing whatever it takes for their benefit. Lust is about taking and getting and using and abusing and grabbing and satisfying you. Love is about them; lust is about us.

And he says if you're going to walk in love, you can't be involved in sexual immorality. That's why it's so tragic what we're seeing when we see people in ministry and people in churches living in sexual immorality, because lust is not loving. Whether you're single or whether you're divorced or whether you're married and some guy is coming on to you. When any man, anytime, anywhere gives you this line or insinuates that if you really love him, you'll go to bed with him, know for sure that he does not love you. He lusts for you.

And he can be sweet and he can manipulate and he can make you feel very, very special. But what this is about is him and his lust and his desires, and you will end up used. If you love someone, you want what's best for them. If you lust for someone, you want what's best for you. And then notice the second warning is don't let anyone deceive you into thinking that selfish, lustful, me-centered behavior is compatible with mimicking God and loving people.

You can't compartmentalize. Following Jesus and sexual immorality don't mix. Following Jesus and being a greedy, self-centered, lustful person don't mix. Following Jesus and lying at work don't mix. Saying "I love God" and living according to my own selfish desires means I'm a hypocrite. And that's why I hated the church. And that's why I hated me. And that's why many of you hate the church and why you hate other people and yourself.

And guess what? You're right in line with God on this one. He hates it too. Because it produces pain and damage and hurt. Well, he goes on to say, "Therefore," well what should we do in light of this truth? "Do not become partakers with them. For you were formerly darkness, but here's the good news, now you are light in the Lord." So here's a command: walk as children of the light.

And if you're not sure what that means, it says, "For the fruit of light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth." The idea is walk in the light. You're a child of the light. You've got a new birth and a new identity. Walk in goodness. That means benevolence and caring and wanting to do good for others. Walk in righteousness. That means being holy and pure, morally and in your thoughts and in your mind.

And what comes over the screen of the internet and what magazines and what books and what shows, not some self-righteous, prudy holiness, but a winsome, pure holiness because your heart is clean and you love God. And then walk in truth. Not only externally speaking the truth and living the truth, but in your motives. And that little phrase, "trying to please the Lord," the sense there is not like trying real hard to please God, it's a word for testing or approving of metal.

It's like taking a little bit of acid on metal and dropping it on to find out the level of purity. And then you put it on and you realize, "Oh, this is really pure, this is really good." The idea is proving or demonstrating. When you live in goodness and righteousness and truth, you are approving and demonstrating what is pleasing to God. And it produces awesome peace and goodness in your heart.

Guest (Male): You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled "Why We All Hate Hypocrisy, Part 1," part of our series called "The New You: Claiming Your Birthright as a Child of God." You know, hypocrisy has a way of hiding in plain sight. We spot it instantly in others and miss it almost completely in ourselves. That's exactly what makes it so dangerous and so hard to shake.

But the good news from today's lesson is that freedom is possible. Not through trying harder, but through letting God's word do its slow, steady work of replacing the false with the real. That's the heart of Chip's devotional, "Growing Deeper in Christ: A 365-Day Journey to True Discipleship." Each day begins with scripture, moves through a focused truth, and ends with a single practical step.

Day after day, the gap between who you appear to be and who you actually are gets smaller. A process of daily renewal that produces the authentic peace Chip just talked about. When you join us as a monthly partner, we'll send you a copy as our gift. Or if you've never given to this ministry before, make your first gift and we'll get one right out to you. We've made it easy to sign up or donate for the first time online at livingontheedge.org, or just call us at 888-333-6003. You can also mail your gift to Living on the Edge, PO Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia 30324. And then we invite you to also stay connected with us beyond this broadcast by subscribing to the Living on the Edge podcast, available wherever you listen to podcasts. Now here's Chip with some final thoughts.

Chip Ingram: As you listen to today's message, what came to your mind? You know, to one degree or another, we're all hypocrites, aren't we? Unfortunately, even though we know that, what we tend to do instead of saying, "Oh, let's address that," we tend to just back away and say, "Well, since everybody is to some degree or another, I don't feel so bad about it."

But God has a better plan. In fact, I believe the most attractive aspect about Jesus' life when he walked on the earth was his authenticity. What he said and what he was was exactly the same. And I believe that light drew people to him. And I believe God wants that in your life and in my life to ever more significant degrees. And I pray that you're going to stay with us for the next seven or eight days so that you can become more authentic in your heart, your life, your speech, and every single relationship.

Guest (Male): I'm Dave Druey. Next time, Chip Ingram picks up right where he left off with the story of Ananias and Sapphira and a gut-check question about the gap between what we say and how we actually live. That'll be right here on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.