Living on the Edge

Kyle Idleman: The most important question that you can ask yourself is: what do I think about? Paul seems to understand just how significant this issue is in Romans 12, verse 2. He says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” J.B. Phillips, in his translation, says, “Don't be squeezed into the mold of this world without even thinking about it.”

Dave Druey: Did you know that 95% of your thoughts happen below the level of consciousness? Right now, you're being shaped by thousands of thoughts you don't even know you're thinking. Your emotions, your decisions, your relationships—all of it flows from your mind.

Today on Living on the Edge, our regular Bible teacher, Chip Ingram, is turning the mic over to guest teacher Kyle Idleman for an important lesson about renewing your mind. To get us started, Chip, why don't you give us a little setup for today's lesson?

Chip Ingram: Well, I'm super excited today to welcome a special guest to Living on the Edge. He's a friend, and I could introduce him in a lot of ways—like a famous author that wrote *Not a Fan*, which sold over a million copies, or he leads a big church called Southeast Christian. Those are nice things, but I want to introduce my friend Kyle Idleman, the lead pastor at Southeast Christian.

He has a series called Every Thought Captive, and Kyle and I have both passionately wanted to learn and pass on how Jesus really changes our lives. In this series, I've asked Kyle to step in, be our guest teacher, and you're going to love what he has to share.

Kyle Idleman: I am overwhelmed and really excited to share with you that last weekend, across all of our campuses, we baptized 839 people. What we are clapping for and what we're celebrating is not a statistic; it's a story. It's not a number; it's a name. We are celebrating one life at a time encountering Jesus and discovering the difference that Jesus makes.

He forgives our sins. He doesn't just forgive our sins; He forgives the guilt of our sins. You don't have to be weighed down by shame anymore. You don't have to be weighed down by guilt of the past. He sets you free. I told so many people in the water last Sunday, there are things we're leaving in the water. We're not carrying it out with us. Shame and guilt stay here.

When we celebrate these numbers, we're celebrating that one person at a time is experiencing the difference that Jesus makes. Every life-change story has one thing in common, and that is a change of thinking. Take the prodigal son in Luke 15. It says he came to his senses. What does that mean? It means he was thinking about his life one way, and then there was an awakening, and he started thinking about things differently.

In John 4, the woman at the well meets Jesus, and what changes? Well, her thinking changes. For a long time, she thought, "This guy will satisfy me, this guy will satisfy me, this guy will satisfy me." And now she's thinking differently, and she's looking to Jesus to be the living water. Every transformed life involves a change in thinking.

So this week, we're starting a series called Every Thought Captive. It comes from 2 Corinthians 10, where Paul challenges believers to address some strongholds in their lives—some lies they've believed for a long time, maybe so long they don't even know where they came from. Things that were passed down to them generationally.

There are strongholds that need to be torn down in your life and in my life. How do we do that? Paul says you do that by taking every thought captive. We're going to learn to do that together, to experience the transformation God wants to see take place in our lives by taking our thoughts captive.

I did a little research as I was getting ready for this sermon, looking online for someone who would be considered a gravity denier, somebody who doesn't believe in the law of gravity. I had this idea that I wanted to use as an illustration, but I needed to find a person who didn't believe in the law of gravity, and I couldn't find one. So, I thought what I might just do here is imagine it.

Imagine there's this guy named Jack who doesn't believe in the law of gravity. He believes in the concept of gravity, but he thinks the law of gravity is a hoax perpetrated by the scientific community. He will argue his point. He'll say it's all about density and buoyancy; there's not some invisible force out there.

His friends have tried to convince him. They're like, "Jack, you need to accept the law of gravity. Every step you take is evidence that gravity is real." Other friends just kind of accept the fact that Jack's a little bit quirky. So, Jack finally decides, "You know what? I'm going to prove them all wrong." He invites everybody over to his house to watch him jump off the top of his two-story house.

This isn't real. Remember, we're just imagining this, so don't feel sorry for Jack. He doesn't exist. Jack gets on top of his two-story house. Everybody's watching down below. They don't want to watch because it's horrific, but you can't not watch. With lots of confidence, he steps off the roof of his house, thinking that he's going to float, not fall.

But he falls, and he falls hard. He hits the ground, and he breaks a leg, and he breaks some ribs, and he's concussed, and he's got to go to the hospital. Why? Because gravity doesn't care what Jack thinks. Gravity does what gravity always does. Gravity acts the way gravity always acts. Jack can refuse to believe in it, but it doesn't mean it's not true in Jack's life.

Jack can say, "I don't believe in the law of gravity," but the law of gravity still applies to Jack, whether he's aware of its existence or whether he believes in its existence or not. There's another law that's both recognized in science and recognized in Scripture that's called the law of cognition. The law of cognition basically says that your life is shaped by your thoughts to a degree that you probably don't fully realize and I may not recognize.

Our lives are shaped by the way that we think. It's the law of cognition. Before neuroscience and psychology had firmly established this law that's built into who we are, Scripture had already taught us this truth. Proverbs chapter 4, verse 23 says, "Be careful how you think." And here's why: because there's this law that applies to you. Your life is shaped by your thoughts.

You don't have to agree with that for it to be true. You don't have to believe this to be true for it to have the power of truth over your life. God, who created you, says this is how it works. There's this law that is built into who you are, built into this world, that says your life is shaped by your thoughts. If that's true, the most important question that you can ask yourself is: what do I think about?

Paul seems to understand just how significant this issue is in Romans 12, verse 2, when he writes to the church in Rome about transformation. He says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." The Greek word here for "conformed" means to be molded by something external. Don't let your mind be molded by something out there.

J.B. Phillips, in his translation, says, "Don't be squeezed into the mold of this world without even thinking about it." What's interesting about this word "conformed" is it's written for us in the present imperative tense, which means: stop doing what you're already doing. Paul's not saying, "Hey, there's going to come a day where you're going to have to decide if you're going to be conformed or not."

He's saying you are being conformed. The world you live in is squeezing you and shaping you and molding you. Stop it. It's happening right now. Stop doing what you're already doing. Modern neuroscience would underline what Paul is teaching here. Neuroplasticity shows that our brains are constantly being molded by what we experience and what we're exposed to.

Every thought you think, every image you see, every conversation that you take part in, every second of your screen time—it's molding. There's a pattern that we're being squeezed into. Paul warns us that your thinking and my thinking is being squeezed into this pattern of this world, whether we know it or not. The law of cognition is playing itself out through the thoughts that we think.

Neuroscientists say that the average person has between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts a day. Most of us would say that seems a bit much. "I'm not aware of thinking 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts." But this is the point: 95% of your thoughts and my thoughts are below the level of consciousness, meaning we're not even aware that we're thinking the thoughts we're thinking.

95% of our 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts are on repeat. They're just happening. We don't think about the thoughts we're thinking. This is why you can look back on your life and have these moments where you see something you said or did and you're like, "What was I thinking? Why did I do that? I must have thought about it because I did it, but I don't remember thinking any thoughts about doing that."

I would like to present to you Exhibit A. This is me circa 2002 with frosted tips. I see this picture. I know it's real. I know that this happened. I don't remember ever thinking about this. I don't remember having any kind of thought process that weighed the pros and cons of having frosted tips. But at some point, I clearly walked into a salon and said, "I'll have some frosted tips."

At some point, that decision was made. I don't remember thinking about that. I don't remember a moment where I stood in front of my mirror at home and thought, "You know what my wife would be really attracted to?" I don't remember the process. I don't remember thinking, "You know what the world needs? A pastor that looks like he raided the clearance section at Hot Topic."

I don't remember any of those thoughts, and yet clearly that happened. All of us can have these moments where we've done something or been influenced in some way. I look like a rejected Backstreet Boy. I tried, but didn't make the cut. I don't know what was influencing my thinking because I wasn't thinking about it, but clearly there were some thoughts. I was being conformed in such a way that resulted in me having frosted tips. So, take your thoughts captive.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with guest teacher Kyle Idleman. There's more just ahead, so stay with us. Today, we continue our journey through a fundamental series called God's Dream for Your Life. If you've missed any part of this study or want to find more Bible lessons, just go online to livingontheedge.org.

There, you'll discover a wide array of teaching content, downloadable materials, and daily discipleship with Chip Ingram. Find it all at livingontheedge.org. Now let's get back to our lesson with guest teacher Kyle Idleman.

Kyle Idleman: I want us to spend a few minutes just unpacking this connection, this biblical truth of our lives being shaped by our thoughts. First, let's recognize that our thoughts establish our emotions. Now, that doesn't mean our thoughts are exclusively responsible for our feelings. There are a lot of factors that could be at play, but more than we recognize, our thoughts establish our emotions.

We tend to talk about our emotions as feelings that we don't have any control over. "I can't help the way I feel." Or we look at circumstances and situations, we look at people, and we say, "Well, if this circumstance changed, if this person didn't do what they did, then I'd feel differently than I do right now."

But what we find is that there's this intricate relationship between how we think about things happening and the feelings we have about those things. God created our brains with a limbic system, specifically the amygdala, which helps us process our emotional responses. Our thoughts are connected to our feelings more than we realize.

Our neurotransmitter system connects thoughts and emotions, so what we think about can trigger the release of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine that influence our emotional state. Let's say that you have been feeling pretty discontent lately, spending more time thinking about your life and what you don't have, or maybe you're behind on some things compared to other people, and your thoughts have just been very focused on that.

But then you read 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which says, "Give thanks in all circumstances." And you think, "Okay, well, Paul says give thanks in all circumstances. I should think about things that I'm grateful for. I'm going to do that, and I'm going to just start taking my mornings—this is God's will for me—and so I'm going to give thanks. I'm going to spend my mornings just expressing gratitude to God for some things in my life."

When that happens, there is a neurotransmitter effect. That practice of being intentionally grateful increases serotonin levels, which is associated with mood regulation. Then you go throughout your day and you're not just reacting to everything that's happening around you, but instead, you've created a different neural pathway that responds with gratitude and thanksgiving. When things don't go exactly how you thought they would, you're starting to recognize and see things to be thankful for, and it changes your emotions. It changes your feelings.

Our thoughts establish our emotions. Secondly, our thoughts direct our decisions. Turns out that just like our emotions, our decisions are largely determined by what happens in our prefrontal cortex, which is sometimes called the executive center because it's where decisions get made. Our thoughts, being molded by the patterns of this world, are constantly assigning subconsciously benefits and consequences to different actions.

Whether or not you value the immediate pleasure and satisfaction or whether you're consciously thinking about something that will come in the future because of a decision you make, we all have these neural pathways that, much more so than we realize, are making certain decisions for us or taking us in a direction that we're going.

Think of a neural pathway this way: if you get in a car and you drive to a destination that you've never been to before, you're paying close attention. You're watching your GPS, and you're aware of the road you need to turn on, and you're paying attention to road signs. But if you've taken that path dozens of times, eventually you don't really even think about it.

When you drive to work, you just drive to work. You're not paying attention to anything because you have created this pathway from doing it so many times. The way God has designed our brains is to have these neural pathways so that so many of the decisions we make come from the way we've been thinking over an extended period of time.

This is why you can decide you're going to have a calm, rational discussion with your spouse around finances, but during the conversation, your emotions take over. You start raising your voice, and you're getting sensitive and defensive. Why? Because you've got this neural pathway about talking to your spouse about finances.

Even though you didn't mean for it to happen, your response to them—the way you talk, the way you act—starts going down that pathway that's been established. This is one of the reasons why we get in trouble by putting too much emphasis on behavior modification over thought transformation. We think the key to bringing about change is: "I'm just going to do things differently. I'm going to behave my way out of this."

But typically, that doesn't last very long. It's not sustainable. True transformation, according to Romans 12, comes when we change the way we think. Renewing of our minds brings transformation. Thirdly, our thoughts regulate our relationships. There's a term for how our minds interpret what other people say and do. It's called cognitive interpretation.

If you come and you say something to me, no matter what you meant by what you said, no matter what tone you think you had, how I think about what you said is going to determine our relationship. We all have this constantly happening in our minds where our cognitive interpretation might be constantly negative, in which case we're going to react in a way that's defensive or sensitive or antagonistic, or we might pull away and withdraw.

Our thoughts are constantly filtering what other people say and do. A few years ago, I was having some challenges with some relationships in my life, and I was talking to a friend about it. He just really challenged my thinking specifically, and he explained to me this concept of filling in the gaps.

He basically said, "Look, any interaction you have with someone, your mind is going to fill in some gaps—things that you don't really know, but your thoughts will interpret what they say and do." How your thoughts interpret that is filling in the gaps. Let's say somebody says something and you're offended by it, but let's say there's a context gap.

You don't know what led up to that. You don't know what they might have heard. You don't know what's happened during their day. You don't know a lot. How you fill in that context gap is going to determine how that relationship goes. Or maybe there's an information gap. What you're hearing is missing some important pieces. How you fill in that information gap is going to have a lot to do with the direction of that relationship.

Our thoughts are constantly filling in gaps. Do we presume the worst, or do we assume the best? Do we give a cynical explanation or a generous explanation? If I pull in the driveway and I see my wife has ordered something else off Amazon that's been delivered to the house, I see a box. My thoughts fill in the gap.

I can think to myself, "What could possibly be in that box that we need? There've already been a few deliveries this week. Doesn't she care about how we're spending money?" I could think those thoughts. I don't know what's in the box, but my mind could fill in the gaps. Or I can think something different.

I can say, "Well, I never have to wonder if we're going to have what we need around the house. My wife is much more intentional and thoughtful than me when it comes to spending money. She takes care of so many things that I probably don't even recognize, and I certainly don't always appreciate."

Depending on where my thoughts go, depending on how I interpret that moment, depending on how I fill that gap, will regulate my relationship. It'll determine the course of our connection for the rest of the evening. So, let me just give you some questions to think about as you process this connection between your thoughts and your relationships.

When I make assumptions about someone's intentions, do I assume the best or the worst? Just pay attention to that as you think about your thoughts this week. Secondly, when I think about my past with this person, what do I remember? When I look back on our relationship, does my mind think about the things that went wrong or the way they made mistakes or different failures or negative things?

Or do I look back and think about things that are positive and affirmative and praiseworthy? Question number three: what narrative do I tell myself about this person when I have to fill in the gaps? What's the story that I tend to tell about this person when I'm not sure exactly the context of something? How do I fill in the gaps with that story?

Number four: our thoughts determine our spiritual growth. Colossians chapter 3, verse 2 says, "Set your mind on things above." Think about things that are eternal, not on earthly things. When we think eternal thoughts, it doesn't just shape our emotions and our decisions and our relationships; it shapes our soul.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge with special guest teacher Kyle Idleman. Kyle is a pastor, author, and gifted communicator, and a friend of our regular teacher, Chip Ingram. This week, Kyle is walking us through a mini-series called Every Thought Captive—a message the world desperately needs to hear right now.

Kyle reminded us today that our minds are being molded constantly, quietly, by the culture around us. Paul called it in Romans 12: "Don't be squeezed into the pattern of this world." The remedy isn't willpower; it's transformation. And it starts with taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

That's the mission of Living on the Edge: to help Christians actually live like Christians, day after day in real life. And it's made possible because of friends just like you. Would you consider standing with us through a financial gift today? When you give to Living on the Edge, you're not just keeping a radio program on the air.

You're helping a father break a cycle of anger that shaped his thinking for decades. You're coming alongside a college student who's hearing biblical truth, maybe for the first time, and discovering that God's word changes everything. We're also asking you to partner with us in prayer.

Pray that the teaching you hear on this broadcast would take root in your own heart and in the hearts of listeners around the world. Your prayers matter more than you know. To connect with us and give your gift of any amount, visit livingontheedge.org, or write to us at Living on the Edge, P.O. Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia, 303024. You can also call us at 888-333-6003. Now, here's Chip Ingram.

Chip Ingram: Thanks, Dave. I've been teaching about renewing your mind for decades, but Kyle brought such a fresh insight today about something—at least I've never heard of it—the law of cognition: that your life is shaped by your thoughts. Scripture taught this way before neuroscience got in on it.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Be careful how you think, because your thoughts shape everything." Here's what's sobering. Think about this: we think 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, and 95% of them are subconscious. You and I aren't even aware of what we're thinking the great majority of the time.

That's why Romans chapter 12, verse 2 warns us: don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed. How? By the renewing of your mind. It's happening all the time. My mind, your mind, is being renewed. The good news is this: transformation comes not by trying harder or more religious services or beating yourself up; it comes by renewing your mind.

When you and I align our thoughts with God's truth, He does the transformation. Let me encourage you this week: pay attention to your thought patterns, because those thoughts are shaping your emotions, your decisions, and ultimately your life. Choose what thoughts you hold on to and what thoughts you want to follow.

Dave Druey: I'm Dave Druey. Join us tomorrow as Kyle Idleman shows us what it looks like to stop letting the world write the script for how you think. That's next time on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.