Living on the Edge

Dave Druey: Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. When was the last time you hung out with some fellow believers and afterwards you just felt so much closer to God? I mean, you opened up, you shared your life, you laughed together, maybe even you cried. And as you were going home, you thought to yourself, "Why can't I have more times like that?" Well, it's called authentic community, and today we're going to learn how to get more of it. Stay with me.

Welcome to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Druey, and today we're unpacking one of the most important and most overlooked ingredients for real spiritual growth: authentic community. Chip shows us that it's not enough for the real you to show up and meet real needs. It has to be done for the right reason and in the right way. He'll get personal and maybe a little uncomfortably honest as he continues his series, God's Dream for Your Life. Now looking in the book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 9, here's Chip Ingram with today's message.

Chip Ingram: Let's look together. What is authentic community and maybe more importantly, how do you get it? First, from verse nine, authentic community is the real you, not a projection of yourself. See, you can't have authentic community unless the real you shows up. Authentic community, he says, "Let love be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good." The two characteristics of the real you showing up is one, authenticity, and two, it's purity.

When the real you shows up, that's the beginning of authentic community. But it's beyond that. It meets real needs, not superficial or convenient ones. Authentic community doesn't happen when you do a little nice thing here and it doesn't really cost you very much. Authentic community happens when the real you shows up. Notice it says devotion: "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love." Humility: "Giving preference to one another in honor." Real needs getting met always involves devotion on our part and humility.

The word devotion here is strong. He's saying, "You need to be committed to one another and lay your lives down for one another like you would for blood relatives." For people that you feel this moral responsibility for. And he says, "Be devoted to one another how? In brotherly love." Philadelphos, that's the word. We named a city in Pennsylvania by that. It's this commitment of family love, of being there for one another, of doing whatever it takes.

I thought I knew what it meant to be devoted and love. I was a new Christian and after probably five or six years, I'd been coaching for a couple of years after school, Theresa and I were married and we had two small kids at this time. I came home after school, in my first or second year, and Theresa's eyes were all red. I said, "Honey, what is going on? Are you okay?" She said, "Oh, I spent all afternoon with Pat right across the hall." I said, "Well, what's going on?" She said, "Her husband left her. And it's worse than that. The bank accounts are emptied. He left her, they have a two or three-week-old newborn, and she has no money."

We just prayed and cried. I thought, "Wow." So my heart's really going out to her. I'm thinking it's really spiritual. "Honey, do you want to pray first?" She says, "Well, actually we did that. But I've been thinking about it and we talked over dinner. I think we should—in two days her rent is due and they're going to kick her out if she doesn't have rent money, and I think we should pay for her rent."

So I'm figuring I'm probably going to have to learn how to be a pastor someday, might as well start now. So, "Okay, Lord, here it is." And we write the check. By the way, it was not noble. I think people get this idea that when we take big steps for God, "Yes, God!" Most of my really big steps are like, "Yes, God..." I don't really want to do this. But okay, I'm going to claim your promise: "But my God will supply all my needs according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus." You said you'd do that and the context is giving, being generous. Philippians 4:19. I'm standing on that passage. Our rent's due. No money.

And that day in the mail, an envelope came. I got a letter from someone from the Green Bay Packers. It was like, "Are you kidding? What is this?" So I opened the letter and the letter says, "Hi, Chip. I'm sure you don't know me. I met you about six years ago or so. I was a senior in high school at the time and you taught a Bible study in San Jose. I later went on and played college football and I was the first quarterback taken in the draft. And I'm playing for the Green Bay Packers now."

"When you taught that Bible study, all I can tell you is I can't really remember even what you said, but something happened that changed the spiritual trajectory of my life. And I've never forgotten it. And I've not thought of you for six years, but this is weird. Out of the blue, you came to my mind, and I'm supposed to send you this $1,000." I mean, it was just like, "Oh!" You know what happened? I got to experience authentic community.

And I will tell you what. We got tight with Pat. I mean, it was like 20 years later I got a postcard. "Theresa, you know, I saw somewhere you and Chip..." and a picture of her and her grown son. And after that, in the last 30 years, we've done that scores of times. Scores of times, never knowing for sure how God would supply. My testimony: He always does.

And what we've experienced is God. See, at the end of the day, most Christians don't know God is real. He's not a philosophy. He's not a formula. He's not a moral code. Jesus is a person and he's real, and he loves you, and he made promises, and he wants you to stand on them. And you take risks, which are called faith, and you love one another, and people get love through you, and then he supplies. When the real you meets real needs through devotion and also through humility.

Because at the end of the day, you have to think more of other people than yourself. Jot in the corner of your notes Philippians chapter two, verse three and four, if you will. The apostle Paul says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. But in humility, consider others as more important than yourself." Boy, would that change your small group. Would that change your family. "Each of you should look not only for your own interest, but also the interest of others."

In fact, he goes on to say, "Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, that although he existed in the form of God, he didn't regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he humbled himself taking the form of a bondservant, becoming obedient even unto death." Humility. Humility is putting other people, giving preference where you lift them up.

I've had the privilege of working with someone that's modeled this for me. There's a number of people that do it, but I just have the longest history with a guy named Greg. He came out of the Silicon Valley, early days of Palm Pilot, later went to Cisco, project manager, later was a volunteer over in Santa Cruz and for 40 or 50 volunteers did light, sound, real super techy guy. When I went to Walk Thru the Bible, he came with me and was just a manager of just tremendous ability.

And then as Living on the Edge went out on its own, he ran all of Living on the Edge, the broadcasting, the money, the finances, the operations, everything. And we started to grow and there was a guy that came along, he wrote a strategic plan for us and he'd led a huge ministry in the United States. I'll never forget, he met with me. He said, "This is really exciting and I think God's in it. I'd like to help you fulfill it." In local humility, I said, "Well, I now know kind of what you've done in your life and you now know all of our books. I could pay you maybe half of what you've ever made. This is an amazing downward mobility opportunity for you." And he looked at me and said, "I'll take it."

And Andrew came, and in the next three and a half years, he tripled the size of everything that happened at Living on the Edge. But here was the interesting point. Greg is really good into the people and roles and personnel and HR and all that stuff. I'm not. And we sat down, the entire executive team of Living on the Edge, me and Greg. Just two of us. And he said, "If we hire Andrew, you need to know something." I said, "What's that?" "In about six months, he needs to lead the whole organization and I need to be just over broadcasting and just technology because his gifts and what he'll bring are far better. He will bring what I don't have, and there's no way the ministry will be what God wants it to be unless he has that role. So I'm just telling you that he needs to become my boss."

Now when's the last time you ever worked or met anyone who had the power to hire someone that when he hired them, he knew they would become greater, I would become lesser, he will have a higher role, make a higher income, and I will move down because I want to serve you, serve God, and the mission is what matters? You know what that's called? Giving preference. See, that spiritual ceiling where we get stuck is often the real you doesn't show up. And if the real you doesn't show up, often we're not meeting real needs, we're just meeting convenient or superficial needs.

But then he says, not only does the real you and me need to show up and meet real needs, but he says, "You need to do it for the right reason, not to please people." He says, "Not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord." I'm not going to be slow about the promptings that God gives me. I'm going to be filled with enthusiasm that comes from God and I'm going to do it not even just for them, but to serve him. And he says in your motives, "Don't be slothful. Be enthusiastic." Notice at the bottom of your notes, genuine service to God is characterized by diligence, excellence in what we do and how we do it, and enthusiasm. Passion to serve God and love people, not please people or impress people.

Dave Druey: You're listening to Living on the Edge, and Chip Ingram will continue today's program in just a minute. Today's message is part of Chip's series, God's Dream for Your Life, and you can hear it anytime at livingontheedge.org. Whether you want to revisit what you've heard today or pass it along to a friend, this message and hundreds more are available online. You'll also find small group resources and opportunities to help you live out God's dream for your life. It's all there at livingontheedge.org. Well, now here's Chip.

Chip Ingram: My dad was an alcoholic, a great guy in general, but one of the roles in an alcoholic family is making peace and fixing things. Well, once I came to Christ, I didn't realize it. It took me a while to get going spiritually, and when I finally got going, what I found out was I was still trying to fix things and work out my dysfunctional issues now in the body of Christ. And what I found is this group of people who called themselves Christians and I was genuinely transformed and lots of great things were happening, but I found if you memorize a lot of verses and you served people and if you said the right things and you just kind of went off the charts in your performance orientation to quote what looked like loving people, you got a lot of strokes and affirmation.

And so after a slow start, I went nuts. I memorized hundreds of verses. I was in this Bible study, led this Bible study, was in this group, did this—I mean, I was just like a maniac. I was such a maniac that there was times I thought, "I make myself sick." And I had this opportunity, if you were a leader on this campus, you could go to this special thing in the summer that only a few people could go to and you memorize these verses and everyone would go to this city and you'd get a job, and then there'd be like 100 or 200, and you'd be on teams of five, you'd have a team leader and four people and they would help you grow, and you got a job and you did evangelism. It was like a hot house for spiritual growth. And it was really, really beneficial.

But this particular group had a very structured approach to sanctification or how you grow spiritually. And their approach combined with my warped personality and background was like the perfect storm to create a Pharisee. And so I really thought by the end of that summer—I mean, you need to do this, you need the Bible study, you need to share your faith, you need to do this—by the end of that Bible study, you go to the end and your team leader would meet with you individually and kind of give you an evaluation and say, "As you go back to your campus, here's something to think about to really help you grow your campus ministry."

And some of the people were talking and they were a little uptight like, "Wow, this might be very threatening." I'm thinking, "This is going to be great." Because in my private world, I'm thinking I'm more disciplined than anybody here. If they were going to give an All-Star Most Valuable Christian Award... so I'm supposed to have this meeting with John, my team leader, and I literally can't wait. I'm thinking I'm finally going to get some pats on the back that I really deserve. And he's going to tell me just, "It's probably you, Hudson Taylor, Dawson Trotman, Martin Luther. You and the boys are going to make a big impact someday." It was so sick.

And let me pick up the story because it's too embarrassing to tell. John was quiet. He's my team leader and had a very understated approach to his leadership. I was honestly looking forward to the meeting and I secretly hoped that he'd noticed the discipline and what I modeled for the other members of my team, the servanthood that I've demonstrated in our relationships, and the knowledge and faith that were rapidly developing in my life. I'd worked hard and was ready for that good pat on the back.

Our meeting didn't go as I expected. Although I was full of zeal and performed well throughout the summer, John's evaluation stunned me. His assessment of my spiritual growth was far different than my own. With very few words, he said he appreciated getting to know me throughout the summer and that God had revealed three verses on his heart that he wanted to share with me. Handed me the note cards and said, "I pray God really speaks to you as you go back to your campus." Anticlimactic.

So I've got these three-by-five cards with verses that he'd handwritten out. The first one said, "For am I now seeking the favor of men or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Galatians 1:10. I thought, "Hmm, that's an interesting verse." Second verse, John 5:44, "How can you believe when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?" There may be a message here. All doubt was removed by the last verse, Luke 16:15, "And he said to them, 'You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your heart. That which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.'"

See, the real you can show up and you can meet real needs and you can do it to serve you, like I did. To get affirmation, to get strokes, to play a game inside the Christian community where you appear loving, but what you really do is you end up using all the verses that you know and all the good deeds that you have to create a little world where you just send a different hologram of a fake and phony person that's working out your own dysfunctions to get people to accept you rather than say, "I am accepted in Jesus."

And the acid test of your motives is always when you get treated like a servant. When no one notices. When they don't say thank you. When you're not rewarded. When you feel like the only one that sees what I'm doing is God. The only one that seems to really care is God. And in your heart of hearts, if you can say, "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm serving an audience of one. People's response, people's strokes, people's affirmation—God, when it comes or if it doesn't come, that's not why I do what I do."

Dave Druey: This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and he's been walking us through what authentic community really looks like, the environment where genuine transformation actually happens. And it's at the very heart of God's dream for your life. If today's message got under your skin a little in a good way, we'd encourage you to share it with someone. You can find it anytime at livingontheedge.org. We also invite you to connect with us on social media. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram by searching for Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you'll find us on YouTube by subscribing to Chip Ingram's channel. We look forward to seeing you there. And if Living on the Edge has played a role in your own spiritual growth, would you consider giving back? Every broadcast, every resource, every message like today's is made possible by people who believe this kind of teaching matters and who choose to support it. Your monthly partnership creates stability that keeps us reaching further. A one-time gift of any amount makes an immediate difference. Either way, you become part of something much bigger than one message or one moment. To give, visit livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003 to give right now. You can also mail us by writing to Living on the Edge, PO Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia, 30024. Also make sure you subscribe to the Living on the Edge podcast. Our new Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast feature gives you Chip's full unedited messages exactly as preached. Well, now once again, here's Chip with a final word.

Chip Ingram: It's the real you meeting real needs for the right reason and finally, it's in the right way. He says your focus, the right way, is there's an upward focus and there's an outward focus. And it says, "You need to rejoice in hope." That's a mindset, not rejoice in circumstances or people's response. He says, "What do you need to do? Persevere in tribulation." You're going to have multiple times where I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent, I don't know how I'm going to solve this problem, I don't know how I'm going to heal this marriage, I don't know how I can break this addiction. But God, I'm asking for your help.

And I'm going to share my life openly and in authenticity with a group of people that are safe and we're going to go through this together. And there's an upward focus. It's not your resources. The Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in every child of God. You have all the power you'll ever need. But that power gets accessed through his word and through the community of God's people, and that power gets accessed as you pray. One of the greatest evidences of genuine humility and dependency is your prayer life.

And so there's an upward focus and then it's followed by an outward focus. An outward focus says, notice what it says. It says, "Contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing or pursuing hospitality." It's where he says there's an outward focus. The resources are, there's times where God's going to ask you to contribute. The real meaning of contribute is contribute. Like give money away to people in need. Give time away. Give things away to someone that doesn't have what you have that's a brother or sister in Christ. Contribute to the needs of the saints, fellow believers.

And when you do, it's like, "What about me?" God says, "I got that one covered." And then it says "pursuing hospitality." Literally the phrase is pursuing strangers. So you can get into authentic community, I think this is added at the very end for a very important reason. It can be us four and no more. We've got the greatest Bible study, we're really close, we're so authentic, we're open, we can share anything, we're super supportive, we've been doing this for 25 years with just us.

Wow, goodie for you. I wonder if there's anybody else in the church that might have needed this in the last 25 years. Who are the people that are unlovely? Who are the people that are lonely? Who are the people that need you to pursue and open your home and open your heart and invite them to a meal? Who are the people that need you to be the presence of Jesus?

See, this is what breaks the ceiling. This is how you get unstuck. The seed of God's word in a good and honest heart, the soil in the environment of authentic community. The real you meeting real needs for the right reason and the right way is where supernatural transformation occurs.

It mattered so much to Jesus, notice how he closed his last prayer recorded in scripture. He says, "My prayer, Father, is not for them alone, his disciples. I pray also for those that will believe in me through their message, that's us, that all of them, notice, may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us." The Trinity has authentic community. And Jesus is praying to the Father that we could experience what they experience and then we could experience with them. And then look at the purpose clause. "So that," this is why this is so important, "so that they may believe you sent me." The greatest apologetic on the face of the earth is when you love authentically, brothers and sisters, with the real you meeting real needs for the right reason, the right way, those outside of Christ will understand and believe that Jesus could be their Savior too.

Chip Ingram: As I was thinking about this message, I thought about authentic community and the first thing that came to my mind was some men's groups or couples groups I've been in or actually a guy that I'm working out with right now, he's a personal trainer. And he was a very committed Christian but was never in authentic community and wow, when he got into a group that shared from the heart, his life just—it's been amazing to watch.

But then as I thought about it, I thought, where the real authentic community needs to begin? I mean, I love couples groups, men's groups, women's groups, all that's great and we share hearts and we're going through it together. But I think the first and most important group is your family. And for some that are single, it might be a roommate. But for many of you, it's you and your kids. It's you and your mate. And it's the real you showing up at home, meeting real needs at home, and doing it for the right reason and the right way.

Could I just implore you to do some of the things that build authentic community? I mean, real practically, eat together as often as possible and at least three or four times a week have dinner together. Talk to one another. Have a time where you put away all the devices and people actually make eye contact and talk. And if you have little ones, please, please, please, don't miss the bath times and the bedtimes. You're shaping the soul of your child. Authentic community is the fiber that connects our hearts with one another and eventually connects it with God. Can I encourage you? Don't miss out.

Dave Druey: Is there someone in your life who has hurt you or something bad that's happened to you and you just can't get past it? I'm Dave Druey, and tomorrow Chip Ingram gives us the answer to that issue right here on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.