Leading The Way

Dr. Michael Youssef: What biblically based authentic self-esteem looks like today on Leading the Way. When you develop confidence in the unshakeable, unstoppable, unchangeable, unconditional, unqualified love of God, you will experience authentic self-esteem in your Christian life. That self-esteem will not be impacted by what others say about you. That authentic self-esteem will not be impacted by events in your life. It will not be impacted by your own self-imposed limitations.

Guest (Male): Dr. Michael Youssef passionately proclaims uncompromising truth on each Leading the Way. Welcome to today's episode. In the pages of 1 John, the Bible highlights ingredients needed for living a life of fulfillment in Christ. And that's Dr. Youssef's focus today as he continues his series, Life at Its Best.

Please keep in mind that Leading the Way is a listener-supported gospel ministry using various media tools to share Jesus. Leading the Way relies on God's provision through the generosity of God's people impacted by and aligned with the teaching and the mission of Leading the Way. Learn ways that you can join Dr. Youssef and the worldwide team in prayerful generosity when you call 866-626-4356 or online at LTW.org. Right now, though, listen with me as Dr. Michael Youssef begins today's teaching on Leading the Way.

Dr. Michael Youssef: Scientists and experts tell us that by the time a child turns eight, 80% of their self-esteem is already developed. And by the time they become teenagers, their self-worth is fully developed. Although there can be still some changes during the early adolescence, nonetheless, that early time in the life of a child is of vital importance.

But here's the catch: if parents build their child's self-esteem and self-worth based on performance or looks or accomplishments, when that child becomes an adult, he or she will always associate their self-worth and their self-esteem with accomplishments and with looks and with performance. And when they cannot perform, or when looks change, or when they cannot accomplish, their self-esteem collapses with them and they live their life in discouragement and defeat.

But if self-esteem and self-worth is based on the assurance of unqualified love and acceptance, if it is based on the assurance of total security, that person when they become an adult, no matter what happens, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of their accomplishments, regardless of the degree of their success, regardless of life's ups and downs, that person's self-esteem will not suffer.

This is absolutely biblical. Let me explain it. The person whose self-esteem is founded upon the knowledge of the overwhelming, unqualified love and grace of God, that person will have confidence in God regardless of the circumstances. That person will be strong when others are failing. That person will be positive even when he or she is surrounded by negative people and negative circumstances. That person will be self-assured when others are tormented.

It's like that new recruit in the army that I read about several years ago who obviously had his self-esteem all built on the right stuff. And so when they all lined up and the drill sergeant barked at them and said, "All you dumbbells fall out!" well, they all did except for him. He stood tall. And so when the drill sergeant was really angered by what he saw as defiance, he walked straight up to this young rookie and he looked him in the eye and he said, "Well?" and the young man said, "There are a lot of them, aren't there, sir?"

That's what I'm talking about. When you develop confidence in the unshakeable, unstoppable, unchangeable, unconditional, unqualified love of God, you will experience authentic self-esteem in your Christian life. Self-esteem that is authentic and that is real will impact you in all of your dealing with other people, in all of your dealing with your family, in all of your dealing with business.

That self-esteem will not be impacted by what others say about you. That authentic self-esteem will not be impacted by the unfair criticisms of others of you. That self-esteem, that authentic self-esteem will not be impacted by events in your life. It will not be impacted by your own self-imposed limitations.

For Life at Its Best, the series we've been looking at from 1 John, life at its best cannot be fully lived until you and I can deeply drink from verses 17 and 18 of 1 John chapter 4. Listen to me: confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, all can be very hollow. They can be superficial. They can be temporary if they are not anchored in the one who loved us perfectly.

And we saw from the last message because God took upon Himself human nature in the person of Jesus Christ, and therefore everyone who surrendered their life to Jesus Christ as the Savior of their soul and the Lord of their life have received from the hand of God divine nature. You say, "How can I be absolutely certain of this? How can I be absolutely sure of this?" Well, we saw in the last message that you can be certain, you can be sure that you have received that divine nature in you by loving the way Jesus loved.

Today, John is going to show us the power of the love of Christ working in us. He will show us how God's perfect love accomplishes certain things in our lives, and there are at least two. First, he says that perfect love, once you understand it, once you comprehend it, once you revel in it, is going to exude confidence—not in yourself, but in Him. Verse 17 of 1 John 4.

Secondly, he said it will expel out fear out of your life. Verse 18. It will exude confidence. Look at verse 17 with me: "In this way"—I want to tell you why, that phrase is the key. He said, "In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him."

I promise you, if you ask an average person, "What do you think of the day of judgment?" and that person does not know the Lord Jesus Christ, he's going to react in one of two ways. Either he's going to deny that there is such a thing, or he will tell you that he's terrified of it. That's basically the two responses that you would get from the average person in the street.

But that is not the case with those who have experienced the perfect love of God. That is not the case with those who daily revel in that unqualified love of God in Christ. The key phrase as I told you in the beginning in verse 17 is this: in that way. Which way? Which way? Christ's way. What is Christ's way? Perfection.

Oh, wait a minute, Michael. You don't understand. I am far from perfection. I mean perfection and I are as far away from each other as they come. Well, don't you think I know that? I know that. I know that because that's my testimony too. But this is the fabulous news about His perfect love. Because of His perfect love for us, His perfection became ours. His righteousness became ours. His holiness became ours. His completeness became ours.

You say, "How does that work?" Well, let me give you a ludicrous illustration. Suppose you've got a very rich uncle. I mean, he's got gazillions of dollars. He's never married, never had kids, so he leaves you his entire estate. Did you work for that estate? No. Did you do anything to earn it? He left it to you. All right?

Now let's go from the ludicrous to the sublime. That's exactly what you have in Jesus Christ. You've inherited the whole estate. You weren't just saved eternally when He died on the cross; you've inherited the whole thing. Perfect love was fully displayed in Jesus Christ. He was perfect in His thoughts. He was perfect in His words. He was perfect in His deeds. He was perfect in His judgments. He was perfect in every way.

And when you come to Jesus Christ and receive salvation, you get the whole estate. You get His perfection. You get His righteousness. And so God looks at you and sees you through Christ, through His perfection. And that's all He sees in you. And that's what "in this way" means. Look at it again now with new eyes. Verse 17: "In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him."

We are like him. We've inherited the whole thing. Paul said similar thing in Romans chapter 8 verses 16 and 17. Listen to this: he said, "The Spirit himself testifies in our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ." Listen to what 1 John 3:1: "The love that God lavished upon us, his adopted children." He gave you His whole estate. You've inherited the whole lot.

This is incredible. And when you focus on it on a daily basis, it will change your life, I promise you. He is saying that very same love which the Father has for the Son became yours through grace. Did you get that? And if that does not give you all the confidence and all the self-esteem in the world, nothing will, I promise you.

A former diving champion was asked once, he said, "How do you handle the stress that you experience as you compete internationally?" He said the following words: he said, "When I climb to the diving board, I take a deep breath and say to myself, 'Even if I blow this dive, my mother will still love me,' and then I aim for excellence."

Now, beloved, listen to me. If you begin your day, if you begin every day by saying, "Lord, I am giving you my best. I am giving you my mind. I am giving you my heart. I am giving you my all," and then aim for excellence. But then say, "Lord, but I thank you even if I blow it, I know you still love me." Now you start every day that way and you will have success. And so His perfect love does what? Exudes confidence.

Secondly, it expels out fear. His perfect love expels fear. Look at verse 18. John said, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love expels out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and the one who fears is not made perfect in love." I was thinking about this this week and I thought about my very first job that I've ever had. It was in 1970 and it was in a telephone company in North Sydney.

And right smack next to that building where I worked, there was a courthouse. Now you've got to understand Australia—if there's some Australians here, will know exactly what I'm talking about—that in the lunch hour, all the guys will go to the pub. That's where they go for lunch. Well, I don't go to the pub. Well, I found another guy who doesn't go to the pub either.

So what do we do at lunch hour? We would go across—there's only an alley, literally a small alley between us and the courthouse. So we'll take our sandwiches and we go to the court and we sit in the gallery. It's a great way to spend the lunchtime. I mean, free entertainment. It's great.

And we normally would sit there munching on our sandwiches and we're looking. The courtroom is just the normal cast of characters. You know, you get the solicitors, we call them lawyers here, and the DAs and the policemen, and they all kind of going back and forth. And then the prisoner would come in shackled in the hand of a policeman. And then when the courtroom is ready, the door will open from the side, then the judge comes in wearing his wig and his robe, and then it becomes a solemn thing.

For guys like us, we sat there munching on our lunch, just really being entertained. We had no fear in our hearts. We're not trembling at all. We had boldness to look at the judge in the eye. We can look at anybody in the room. We have no fear. Why? Because our name was not on the docket for that case.

We were not in the prisoner's place. There was nothing against us as far as the law was concerned. We are not guilty. And therefore, no fear in our hearts whatsoever. We're just sitting there munching on our sandwiches. Now, beloved, listen to me. What John is saying here is that whether it is here on Earth or it's the day of judgment in the day to come, we have no fear.

We have no fear neither here nor there. Why? Because fear has to do with punishment. And we have escaped from death to life. We have escaped from judgment to pardon. We have escaped from punishment to grace. We have escaped from darkness to light. We have no fear neither here and now nor in the day to come.

Why? Because here and now, we know with absolute certainty, we know with absolute assurance that our names are not on the prisoner's list, that our names are not on the accused list, that our names are not on the convicted list. In fact, it's on the contrary; our names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Our names are engraved on His wounded hands. Our names are imprinted on His righteous brow. Our names are written on His holy, righteous, sacred breast. Amen!

What I want to tell you is whenever love exists, fear is banished. In fact, that's what John is saying. I'm not making it up; I'm telling you what he said. Let me ask you this: what brings confidence in a wife's heart? What brings confidence? Her husband's unqualified love.

There is not a wife in the world who would live in fear and terror in her house when she knows that her husband's love and dedication is for her. When she knows that her husband's unqualified love is for her. When she knows that her husband's total commitment is to her. When she knows that her husband's strength is for her protection. When she knows that her husband's undying love belongs to her.

Our bridegroom loved us perfectly, perfectly. And you must never, ever, ever doubt. And if you do, get back to 1 John 4:17 and 18. You never doubt His perfect love for you. And it works the same thing with our children. We try to instill authentic self-esteem—not phony and passing, not self-esteem that comes from throwing the ball in the basket or able to hit the ball or able to do these good things, wonderful as they are. Not from their looks. No, no, no.

The authentic self-esteem that is instilled in the children—listen, you tell your child that, "I love you and nothing is going to change that. No matter what you do, my love for you will never change. You can never do anything to make me love you more; you can never do anything to make me love you less." You tell your child that you will never reject him or her no matter what she or he does, that they have your name and it's imprinted in their name.

Oh, to be sure, I'm going to discipline you. To be sure, I'm going to train you. To be sure, I will exercise rewards and punishment. I will tell you right from wrong. To be sure, I will allow you to know and feel the consequences of wrong choices. That goes with the territory.

But I will love you, and my love for you is permanent. And that I'll never reject you no matter what. I promise you, they will have all the authentic self-esteem that they need. They will grow up doing great things for God. They will grow up catching a glimpse of the perfect love of God that says, "You're my child. You might blow it, but you're my child. I still love you. And every time you repent, I forgive you because you're my child."

I'm going to tell you this as I conclude. A story told about a balloon salesman who would go into an area and try to attract the children in the area to come and buy some of his balloons. And when the kids start gathering, he will let different color balloons up in the air: a red balloon, yellow balloon, white balloon, black balloon, green balloon.

And then the kids start coming in and start buying his balloon. But one little fellow came to him and said, "Excuse me, sir. How come when you let go of the red balloon or the yellow balloon that they all fly into the sky?" And this man looked at this little fellow and he said, "Son, it's not the color of the balloon that matters. It's what's inside that balloon that matters that makes them fly."

I want you to hear me right on this one. And the Apostle John is saying something very, very similar here. He's saying what gives you an authentic self-esteem, what gives you confidence, what gives you boldness is the stuff that's inside of you. And the stuff that's inside of you called the Holy Spirit.

And the stuff that's inside of you called the perfect love of God. That's inside of you is the divine nature of which you became partaker when you came to Jesus Christ and received Him as the Savior of your life and the Lord of your life. I tried to imagine this week, I said, "Can you imagine God the Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, is terrified of God the Father?"

Can you even imagine that? It's beyond the realm of possibility. On the contrary, if you read the Gospels carefully, there was an overwhelming desire in God the Son, and that is to please God the Father. All He wanted to do is He wanted to please His daddy. He wanted to please His daddy. Why? Because, beloved, listen to me, John is saying because He perfectly understood that incredible perfect love of the Father for Him.

And when you and I develop confidence in the everlasting, undying, unqualified love of the Father, you will find that far from living to please yourself, far from living a humdrum life, far from living a mediocre Christian life, you would want to spend every waking moment in your life to please the Father.

And the reason God's children are not living that way is because they have failed to comprehend the perfect love of God—that was the very love that the Father had for the Son became theirs through grace.

Guest (Male): Life at Its Best. That's the title of Dr. Michael Youssef's current audio series on Leading the Way. Thank you for making time in your day to be a part. Faith questions? Why not chat with a Leading the Way pastor or counselor? They'd be happy to address your spiritual questions. All you have to do is visit LTW.org/jesus and fill out a brief contact form.

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