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Matthew: Don't let anybody manipulate you. Let's talk about it on Key Life. Being adopted into the family of God is not about doing more or trying harder. It's about being welcomed by God because of His radical grace, free from the penalties of sin and never alone in your suffering. That grace is what Key Life is all about.

Steve Brown: Thank you, Matthew. Hope you guys had a great weekend and I hope that your pastor's sermon was as good as my pastor's sermon. If you're just joining us, we're spending some time looking at the themes of a new book that I wrote. I'm going to keep doing this until I get it right. A new book that I wrote, titled "God's Not Mad at You: Confronting the Lies of Guilt and Shame and Fear and Regret."

And so, for the last few weeks, I've been going over some of the themes in that book. Today, we're going to look at one of the lies, and it is the lies that manipulate us. But before we do that, it's our practice on Mondays to pray before we study, so let's do that.

Father, when we come into Your presence, we sometimes forget that Your sovereignty allows our freedom. Freedom to be Yours, freedom to serve You or not, freedom to be faithful or not, and freedom not to be manipulated because You are God, and You open the doors to that freedom. We praise You and we worship You.

Father, You know everybody who's listening to this broadcast, the hard places and the soft places, the laughter and the tears, the courage and the fear. You know all of that, and You're sovereign over every bit of it. And You told us, and we're so thankful that we could call You Father with all that means.

Father, as always, we pray for the one who teaches on this broadcast. Forgive him his sins, because there are many. We would see Jesus and Him only, and we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Let me give you a kind of a basic verse for what we're going to be talking about, as we talk about the lies that manipulate us. It's Philippians 1:15 through 17. "Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, but thinking to inflict me in my imprisonment." That's the way manipulation feels.

It feels like somebody has control over us, that they're pulling the strings in our lives, and don't think very highly of us. And basically, what I'm going to teach you and what I've been learning myself, is that you shouldn't let them do that. But how do you not let them do it? I mean, how do you stand firm?

It's important to be sensitive to hidden agendas. The Holy Spirit will help you with that, and we're going to talk about that later on in this broadcast in a few weeks. We see a lot of virtue signaling these days, which happens everywhere. You know what virtue signaling is? It's when I do things for no other purpose than for you to notice what I'm doing and to think that I'm a good, righteous, nice, and bright person.

And it's everywhere. It can be even more dangerous when Christians do it. Virtue signaling is a tool, by the way, of manipulation. It's when one expresses an opinion and acts with one purpose to say to the person one is signaling that one is particularly virtuous and wise.

Virtue signaling is designed not only to promote one's goodness but to point out the evil in others. When it takes place in a Christian context, it can be the source of great guilt. Have you ever heard a public Christian testimony by someone who talked about how they had been delivered from a particular sin or how God blessed them for their obedience?

I can't tell you how often I've heard that kind of testimony. I remember one time as a pastor, when a new Christian told me after an evening service that he was leaving the church. I said, "Why are you doing that?" And he said he just couldn't be as good as Bill, the man who had testified that evening.

I told him to give a little time before he left. Then I called Bill and said to him, "You turkey. Your testimony was good, but you and I both know that was only a part of the truth. You are messed up in a thousand ways just like everybody else, and you didn't mention that. And I want you to fix it." I told him about the guy who planned to leave the church, and I said, "You call him. Tell him the rest of the story. Confess your sins to him, or he's going to leave the church, and it'll be your fault."

A little bit of motivation there. He did, and the situation was resolved. I think we would have a major awakening in America if every Christian to be a member of the church was required to carry a sign listing their ten greatest sins. Virtue signaling would immediately stop, and the world would beat a path to the church's door. But maybe more important, the church members would be free from the manipulation of virtue signaling.

It's always wise to ask about those who create guilt and shame and fear and regret in God's people, "What is in it, often a hidden agenda, for them?" One time, my friend, the late R.C. Sproul, told me that he was disappointed in me for going to a particular Christian television program. I told R.C., it was a one of those really big-deal things of Christian evangelists.

I said, "R.C., my publisher sent me. I was just selling books." He said that that wasn't an excuse. And then R.C. laughed and said, "I went on the same program." And I said, "You're kidding!" And he said, "No." And he said, "They had me put my hands on a pile of letters and pray for those who had written the ministry, hundreds and thousands of them."

I said, "That's crazy." And I said, "Did you do it?" He said, "Of course I did, dummy. I was selling books." Be careful of those who, as it were, sell books and make you feel guilty if you don't buy one. That goes for those with other agendas that require you to make an important decision, join a crusade, or submit to one with an agenda, and if you don't, you'll feel guilty about it.

Be careful of sermons that make you feel like dirt, especially if they take an offering. Books on marriage, I suspect some Christian books on marriage are the cause of divorce because nobody can do all of that. Or Christians who tell you to sign on to their cause, because Jesus has done so much for you, you can't ever come close to returning that favor.

And those who push a partisan political agenda as God's agenda. God, by the way, rarely votes. Paul said to the Colossians, and this is Colossians 3:9, "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." That's true of the hidden agendas of virtue signaling we often encounter with Christians, including me.

Sometimes that's manipulation, and other times it's legitimate motivation. And it's important we ask questions to find out what's motivation and what is manipulation. I'm running out of time here, so we'll continue with this conversation tomorrow. But for now, let me just say something really important. It is a sin for you to manipulate your brothers and sisters in Christ. You knew that.

Let me tell you something else. It's a sin for you to allow them to manipulate you, maybe even worse. Hey, I got to go, but first, you think about that. Amen.

Matthew: Thanks, Steve. And with that, we are now back into the groove of our current teaching series based on Steve's new book, "God's Not Mad at You." By the way, now available on Amazon and at keylife.org/notmadbook. Tomorrow, we'll talk more about the distinction between manipulation and motivation. That's an important difference. Hope you'll join us for that.

You know, it's funny, Steve was just telling the story about the guy, Bill, who gave his sterling testimony in a way that made it seem like he no longer had any problems. Someone who is the opposite of Bill is author and pastor Drew Hensley. We spoke with him recently on Steve Brown, etc. about this idea that none of us have our act together. And I have a feeling you're going to love that conversation. We'll send it to you on CD for free. Just call us right now at 1-800-KEY-LIFE. That's 1-800-539-5433. You can also email Steve at keylife.org to order that CD, or to mail your request, go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses for the U.S. and Canada. Again, ask for the absolutely free CD featuring Drew Hensley.

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