Insight for Living

Bill Meyer: Every parent hopes to pass on their faith and their values to the next generation. But what if we're also passing on our neglect, our compromises, our silence in the face of what we know is wrong? Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll revisits the familiar story of young Samuel to uncover a startling truth. Problems don't solve themselves; they multiply. The heartaches you permit in your family today become the inheritance your children carry into their marriages tomorrow. Teaching from 1 Samuel chapter 2, Chuck titled his message Samuel: The Boy Who Heard God’s Voice.

Chuck Swindoll: Eli is a great preacher, he’s a fine priest, he’s the high priest. He’s busy about the work of judging, spending his time in the tabernacle of God and with the people in their needs. But how about his boys? Verse 12: "The sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the Lord." They were reprobates. May I say it? They were losers—spiritual losers.

Rather than taking what the Lord provided, they wanted the choicest pieces of meat and they demanded that. Verse 22: "Eli was very old and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting." Now that says it straight out, doesn't it? Along with their impudence in the things and the sacrifices of God, they were sensual men who took sexual advantage of the women who came for worship. And right there in the places of the house of God, they were involved in illicit sexual acts.

Eli knew it. He was aware of it. And he merely mentioned to them, "Why do you do such things that I hear from all the people?" Verse 23. It was scandalous knowledge. And God would not spend the rest of Eli’s life simply putting His hands over His eyes, as it were, looking around the sin. It's a scandal, it's hurting the ministry, the name of God is being reproached. I will not stand for it any longer.

Now, if you can imagine, Samuel is raised in this context. But he apparently has been so protected by Eli that he has not witnessed the whole scene. Much of this is done in secret chambers. And Samuel now, back to chapter 3, is hearing from God the warning. Let me read it for you, verse 12: "In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end." This is why God woke Samuel up, this is why God broke into the silence.

"For I have told Eli that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them." Mark the words "he knew," but he did not rebuke them. "And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever."

Now, you might be, I know we're interrupting the flow of the story, but I am intrigued by a marginal reference that I have put in my Bible, Deuteronomy 21:18 and following. So hold your finger here and go back to Deuteronomy 21. You'll see what could have been done by Eli, but he lacked the character. It's tough. Most teenagers scissor these several verses out of their Bibles, by the way. It reads really raw.

What do you do with a child that's grown and you can't handle her or handle him, I should say? Verse 18, Deuteronomy 21: "If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chasten him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his hometown. And they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.' Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death. So you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear of it and fear."

Wow. You see why I say the teenagers cut those kind of verses out of their Bibles? When they see stuff like that, they are so glad we're not under law. They don't know what to do, and they should be. Of course, that isn't the way it's handled today. But the point here, back in 1 Samuel 3, is that Eli, like the slick times in which he lived, sort of folded his arms and thought, "Well, I just can't do a thing with those boys. Hophni and Phinehas have been rebellious all their lives. I'm so busy, I've got so many things to take care of. Surely God will understand." God won't understand. It's so severe that He awakens this young boy in his formative years to tell him this warning "I am giving you so you will know what is going to happen." Interestingly, He doesn't tell him to tell Eli.

Now back in the story: So Samuel lay down until morning. We're in 3:15, 1 Samuel 3:15. He lay down until morning, then he opened the doors of the house of the Lord. But Samuel was afraid to tell the vision to Eli. Then Eli called Samuel and said, "Samuel, my son." And he said, "Here I am." He says, "What is the word that he spoke to you?" Wow. You imagine the emotion of that moment? "Please do not hide it from me. May God do so to you and more also if you hide anything from me of all the words that he spoke to you."

Look at this next verse: "So Samuel told him everything and hid nothing from him." And Eli’s response: "It is the Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him." There are times when this kind of intervention or confrontation is necessary. There are times when God uses an individual to confront another individual with the wrong of his or her life. It's one of the hardest experiences in life. Anyone who enjoys doing it shouldn't be doing it.

Like Galatians 6 says, "If a brother is overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted." I sometimes get the idea from some folks who haven't done much of this that they think confrontation is one of the power plays of being in the ministry. It's almost as though it's your moment to take advantage of some dear soul.

It is a horrible moment. It is a dreadful part of the calling into ministry. No one who has any sense of compassion enjoys confronting an individual with wrong, but sometimes it has to take place. It must be done. And Samuel, following Eli’s request, told him everything the Lord had said. He hid nothing from him. How great it would have been if Eli would have said at that point, "I've heard enough. I'm doing exactly what God says in Deuteronomy. I'll take these boys to the elders of the city, and a severe thing will be done, but I will die in obedience." No, he doesn't do that. That's not Eli’s style.

Now, the story ends, but not the lessons. Remember, the heart of a story are the lingering lessons, and I think there are two of them. And I want to dwell on them for just enough time to really cement them in our minds. The first is this: Any family can disintegrate. None is immune. Any family can disintegrate. None is immune. Well, do you mean a family of a minister? Yep. You mean a priest’s family? Yes. You mean the family of a man who walks with God and pours his heart into a church? Yes. Yes. Any family.

I find no less than four signs of domestic disintegration in the life of Eli and his boys. And I'd like you to track with me through these four. I've thought about them long and hard. What was it that caused an erosion in the family of Eli with his boys? Four things I find here. Number one: Preoccupation with an occupation to the exclusion of family needs. Preoccupation with an occupation to the exclusion of family needs.

The old fellow was a busy priest. He was a respected judge. He became preoccupied with his public profession, with his image, and he failed to focus on his boys. His sons were slowly emerging in their cynicism and skepticism, and Eli did not discipline them. If he did, there's not a word of it here. And rather than being on-site to spot the danger signals and to deal with them, Eli’s busy about his work.

Alexander Whyte, one of Britain’s best of yesteryear, points out this observation with very eloquent words. Let me sort of pick and choose my way through a wonderful narrative on Eli that he writes. "Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the Lord." Impossible, you would protest, if it were not in the Bible. But just because it is in the Bible, we are compelled to ask ourselves how it could possibly come about that the sons of such a sacred man as Eli could ever become sons of Belial.

What? Not know the Lord, and they were born and brought up within the very precincts of the Lord’s house? Were not the first sounds they heard the praises of God in His sanctuary? Were not the first sights they saw their father in his robes beside the altar with all the tables and the bread and the sacrifices and the incense round about him?

I thought of that when I read, I thought, "All my children’s lives they have seen me serving communion. They have seen me in a pulpit. They have seen me on a platform. They have seen me singing hymns." There isn't a Sunday that comes that they will not watch their father involved in works of ministry. And through the week, they hear the stories. They are with us in prayer around the table. All through their lives, that's all they know of Chuck Swindoll.

They don't know of any part of my life like they know about my involvement in ministry. And I thought when I read that, that's exactly the way it was with Hophni and Phinehas. And yet, he continues, there it is in black and white, in blood and tears: "The sons of Eli knew not the Lord." Let me think. Let me consider well how conceivably it could come about that Hophni and Phinehas could be born and brought up at Shiloh and not know the Lord.

Well, for one thing, their father was never at home. What with judging all Israel, Eli never saw his children till they were in their beds. "What mean ye by this ordinance?" All the other children in Israel asked their fathers as they came to the temple. "What does this mean?" And all the way up and all the way down again, those fathers took their inquiring children by the hand and told them about Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and Joseph and Moses and Aaron and the Exodus and the wilderness and the conquest.

Can't you picture that? And the yearly Passover. Hophni and Phinehas were the only children in all Israel who saw the temple every day and paid no attention to it. And then every father and mother knows this: how the years run away and how their children grow up till all of a sudden they are as tall as themselves. And very much faster than our tallest children did Eli’s children grow up. All things indeed were banded against Eli.

The very early ripeness of his sons was against Eli. He thought he would one day have time, but it was his lifelong regret that he had never had time. And what with one thing and what with another, what with their father’s preoccupation and their own evil hearts, the two young men were already sons of Belial when they should still have been little children.

You know the great temptation in this church is that the Swindoll children look upon the work of ministry as just another thing, just another occupation. And it is my intense responsibility to break the wall of religion so that they know this works, this is important, this is life. This isn't a profession. This isn't a business, a slick profession where your daddy performs with religious garb.

And I could use any others of you in ministry as an illustration, but to save your face, I'll use mine. And one of the prayers that Cynthia and I have continually asked of God is, "Lord, don't let the thing become just another religious exercise. Let's not force our kids into the stuff. Let's help them reason their way through it."

Coming up this Wednesday night, our family’s been invited to come to the junior high meeting. It's called Wednesday Night Mania. That's going to be fun. And our junior high director has said, "Just come, come as you are, jeans, open collar. Just come, just bring all your family. Let's let the kids ask all the questions." And you know what? I am as at ease as I could possibly be. Not because I've done everything right, but because I have not hidden behind the walls of hypocrisy.

I'm as comfortable with what those children want to say to those junior highers as if we would have rehearsed it ahead of time and I'd given them a script. Knowing them, they wouldn't have followed it, so I didn't bother. Because realism and authenticity are two of our favorite words. Does it mean we've never done anything wrong? No, it doesn't. It means when we've done wrong, we've said it. We've talked about it. And frankly, I'm looking forward to it with great delight. Who knows what'll happen? Boy, there may be an uprising in the junior high department like you have never heard before. Preoccupation with an occupation to the exclusion of family needs.

Number two: Refusal to face the severity of children’s actions. He just didn't face it. Eli knew, but he did zero. Refusal to face the severity of children’s actions. Listen to Proverbs 19:18 from The Living Bible: "Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don't, you will ruin his life." The Good News Bible: "Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don't, you are helping them destroy themselves."

You have children who are young, you have children who are impressionable. That's the time. That's the time. If you wait till they're as tall as you are, forget it. That's not the time. I speak today to a few parents who still have the young holding onto their legs and pulling on their skirts, running about the house between your legs. Now's the time. That's where Eli missed it.

Third: A failure to respond quickly and thoroughly to the warnings of others. A failure to respond quickly and thoroughly to the warnings of others. You will discover as your children grow up that you will get reports. They go to school, you hear reports from their teachers. Listen to their teachers. They're your best friends. Only on a few occasions will your children have real bad teachers.

And you will know those who are really poor and are hurting. But those who are good will tell you the truth. You will have a neighbor who will tell you the truth. You will have a policeman who will tell you the truth. You will have a pastor who will tell you the truth. Don't blame the pastor. We just take what you give us and try to work with her or try to work with him. Pay attention to the reproofs that we give you. Listen even to grandparents.

Grandparents spend time with those kiddos, and they have enough wisdom and enough years to spot areas. Listen to their reproofs. Eli didn't listen to the man of God who came to him in 2:27. He paid dearly for it. Fourth under this same heading of disintegration: Rationalization of wrong, thereby becoming a part of the problem. Eli knew what those boys were doing; he rationalized around it. Rationalizing the wrong, or rationalization of the wrong, thereby becoming a part of the problem.

You know why I say he was a part of the problem? Because Eli got fat on the food his boys brought home. Rather than saying, "Sons, we can't touch that meal, we can't touch that fat, we can't touch that meat because you got it the wrong way," I read chapter 2, verse 29, he honored his sons above God by making themselves, yourself, including Eli, fat with the choicest of every offering of My people Israel. They ripped off the worshippers and Eli rationalized around it and ate it along with his boys.

I mentioned there are two major lessons. Here's the second. The first is that any family can disintegrate, not any family is immune. The second is this: Hearing the truth isn't enough; action is essential. Hearing the truth isn't enough; action is essential. God seldom blesses someone simply because they hear something. He blesses us because we hear and do something about it. Remember what knowledge alone does? It puffs up. But when there's action that follows, humility comes.

By the way, problems like these do not solve themselves; they multiply. And the heartaches that you live with in your family, you simply pass off to another when that child or those children marry. There's an old Chinese tale that says: One tear met another tear floating down the river. Said the first tear, "I am the tear of the woman who lost her lover." The other tear replied, "And I am the tear of the woman who got him."

I am the tear of the family who raised a rebel, says Eli. And had Hophni or Phinehas had their wives, Eli’s daughters-in-law, tell him the truth, he would have heard, "And we got the tears from the heartaches that you permitted at home." Maybe that's why they didn't tell me the whole story when I was in primary or junior class. I had to find out a lot of it on my own. For a few moments, let's think about what we have heard, shall we? May we bow together.

This is straight and direct teaching from the Scriptures. These aren't cute little devotionals that I have worked up to make everybody feel good. This is straight truth from the book. You've listened very carefully, I commend you. But God has given us these wonderful stories so we might live better lives, not just so we might know more about what the Bible teaches. God didn't give us His truth to satisfy idle curiosity; He gave us His Word to change our lives.

Are there some things you're allowing to go home in your family that your busyness just keeps you from addressing? Slow down. Pause soon and address it. Are you hearing God’s voice through this lesson that's saying to you something about your involvement in the work of ministry, maybe as a teacher, maybe as a choir member or an officer or board member or pastor? You're just so engaged in the activity of ministry that you sort of left the raising of the family to your partner or maybe to the kids themselves. They'll learn how much we love God because they'll see how busy we are. They won't. They don't.

And have you heard a reproof lately from someone you really have to say you respect? Has there been repentance? Has there been an acquiescence, an agreement with, appreciation for that kind of honesty? It's possible to be very busy in the work of God and raise a family that ultimately cares little about the things you gave your life for.

Our Father, we pause in this serious moment to thank You for the things that You have taught us in these few moments we've been together, but more importantly, the things that weren't even mentioned, those deep things of our heart. We're intelligent enough human beings to get the message. Our problem is not intelligence; our problem is obedience. Give us a faithfulness to act upon what we hear.

May we learn through young Samuel whose sleep was interrupted. May we learn a lesson for today, the importance of time spent with those living legacies that will outlive us. And may Your name be exalted and glorified because we have obeyed. We pray in the lovely name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Bill Meyer: Today’s message underscores the never-ending role that parents play in rearing their children. The reward for godly parenting reverberates through multiple generations. You’re listening to Insight for Living, and we're midway through a biographical study from Chuck Swindoll. Today's topic: Samuel, the Boy Who Heard God’s Voice.

This is just one study in a larger collection of Bible stories. Chuck titled this series Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives. In today's story, we saw the consequences of parental neglect. Eli’s sons betrayed the family legacy with their outright rebellion. Samuel, on the other hand, was the unsuspected hero in this story by taking action and confronting the priest.

In the larger study, Chuck examines the often-overlooked characters of Scripture. These ordinary people whose successes and failures accomplished God’s purposes prove that true significance comes from serving Christ, not our own gain. Through every story in this collection of biographical sketches, Chuck speaks to every believer, whether you've walked with Christ for decades or have just begun your journey. He titled this 14-part series Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives.

To explore these men and women more fully, visit insight.org. There you'll discover a range of study resources designed to help you dig deeper, and you'll even find our latest Bible study workbook that's part of our Searching the Scriptures Bible studies. This spiral-bound resource is perfect for taking notes and recording your personal observations. And there's a full-length book that Chuck has written for this series as well. There's a lot more to explore at insight.org.

In fact, one of our listeners explained how his pastor mentioned Chuck in a sermon and cited Chuck as a strong influence on his life. As a result, this man searched online for resources. He said, "I've been glued to the Insight app and website ever since. So many great resources." To purchase the Bible study workbook for this series, call us at 800-772-8888 or go online to insight.org/offer.

How do we finish well? I'm Bill Meyer. Chuck Swindoll describes how to maintain integrity over an entire lifetime tomorrow on Insight for Living.