Insight for Living

Bill Maier: Few wounds cut as deep as being misunderstood by the people who know you best. Maybe you felt it. The puzzled looks around the family table, the sense that your own mother or father just can't figure out what's happened to you. If so, you're in remarkable company. Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll opens the Gospel of Mark to a moment when Jesus himself was misunderstood by his own family, even thought to have lost his senses. There's hope here for anyone living under that same shadow. Chuck begins by reading the passage in Mark chapter 3.

Chuck Swindoll: We come to a very unique part, some of which is found only in Mark's Gospel. And you will find that it touches a particular nerve in your life as we read of the time when Jesus was misunderstood by his own family, including his mother. Mark chapter 3, beginning at verse 20. We'll skip a section in the middle and then we'll get to the end of the chapter as well. Mark chapter 3, beginning at verse 20. And he came home. And the crowd gathered again to such an extent that they could not even eat a meal.

When his own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of him, for they were saying, he has lost his senses. Verse 31. Then his mother and his brothers arrived, and standing outside, they sent word to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, behold, your mother and your brothers are outside looking for you. Answering them, he said, who are my mother and my brothers? Looking about at those who were sitting around him, he said, behold, my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.

Bill Maier: You're listening to Insight for Living. To dig deeper into the Gospel according to Mark, be sure to purchase a copy of our Searching the Scriptures Bible Study workbooks by going to insight.org/offer. Chuck titled today's message Misunderstood by the Family.

Chuck Swindoll: Of all the problems in life, few are more disturbing and distressing than being misunderstood. It's so difficult because even though you try to defend yourself before the one who has misunderstood you, you often find that things just get worse. It's as if their opinions have been set in concrete. And no matter what you say or what you try to do, you can't seem to change that opinion. I thought of that when I read about the young attorney who joined the long-standing, prestigious law firm. The firm was owned and operated by an older gentleman who was still practicing law on certain cases.

And it was a large number of attorneys. And he, of course, when he became a part of the firm, was one of the junior partners in the on the team. And part of being in on this in this legal team is that you you participated in certain traditions and rituals that were important to the older man who owned the firm. He had a special thing on Thanksgiving. Every Thanksgiving, he would purchase and provide for each of the attorneys a large Thanksgiving turkey, 20, 24, 26 lb turkey, a big bird. And he would put these turkeys on this long walnut table in the boardroom and would invite in all the the lawyers of the firm.

And the ritual went like this. You would walk up and you would pick up your turkey and you would thank him for it as well as for the honor and opportunity of serving on this law firm. And he felt great about it, and they felt great about it. And plus they got a free turkey that they and their family could enjoy the next day and for the days to come. The problem with the young attorney is that he was not only single, he didn't know how to cook. But he could never say that lest he looked like he wasn't grateful.

So he each year would pick up his turkey and thank the owner of the firm and walk out with the other lawyers who knew his situation and sort of laughing under their breath, knowing he was going to go home wondering what in the world to do with this massive turkey from one year to the next. Well, one year, they decided to play a little joke on him. Behind the scenes, they built a turkey out of paper mache. It looked just like a turkey, except it was all wrapped up. He couldn't tell that it was a bogus bird.

They put a real neck out of the end of it so that when he picked up the turkey that was weighted with old pool balls and other things inside, he thought it was the real thing. And once again, this pre-Thanksgiving day, he gets on the train to take that 40-minute 45-minute drive ride to his apartment where he's going to wonder what in the world or I don't even have an oven big enough to put it in. And even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with it. When the train pulls up to the next stop, a fellow gets on the train and walks down and sits down right next to him, sort of run over in the heels.

Obviously, he's up had a lot of bad luck. And he begins to pour out his story to our friend, the young attorney, sitting there with the turkey on his lap. And the older gentleman says to him how hard it's been for him and his family as a number of kids. And Thanksgiving is tomorrow. He was out job hunting, no luck. And here he is facing this holiday, and they're going to have a miserable time. He thought, this is my answer. I'm going to give him my turkey. That would make his holiday. And I would feel great about it and put it to good use.

Then he thought, no, that would only add to his humiliation, make him look like he was expecting a handout. I'll sell him my turkey. So he says to the man, he says, hey, how much money do you have? Guy says, well, I got about a dollar and 76 cents. Sold. So he took the man's last bit of money and put it in his pocket, felt great, put the bird on his lap, and the man was thrilled. He got off the planes off the train saying, God bless you. I will never forget you. Takes off for his home as the attorney goes to his own apartment feeling great.

Fast forward to the following Monday. All the guys in the firm can't wait to hear what he thought when he unwrapped his turkey. He knew nothing of it. And when he told him what he had done, that week, many of them took that same train back and forth trying to find the man who had picked up the turkey. I mean, think of the family at home. Children, children, come here. I met the original good Samaritan. Look at the turkey he provided. And he unwraps it. That is misunderstanding. Now, if you think that would be difficult, imagine yourself, and maybe you don't have to imagine too hard, being misunderstood by your own family even though you have literally done nothing wrong and everything right.

But they don't get it. I won't ask for a show of hands, but I have a distinct feeling that sitting right here and listening to me right now are many people who could say, you should hear my story. It happened when I first got serious about spiritual things. I was reared in a family that doesn't know the Lord and good family, faithful mom and dad, caring siblings. But now they live with this opinion that I'm some kind of religious freak because I carry a Bible and I speak of Christ openly. If that sounds like something fairly near to where you are, you will appreciate all the more the words that Mark writes in the third chapter of his Gospel and what could be called a sandwich structure story.

Mark likes to do this, and we will see it again and again in our working through the Gospel by Mark. It's where the first part of the story begins here, and then there's another vignette that comes in between, not necessarily related to the first part or the last. And then he comes back to finish the story following that little section in between. We'll get to the section next time between, which would be 22 through 30, but we'll put the story together 20 and 21 along with 31 to 35. It is a classic case of misunderstanding and even misperception.

Look at the words in verses 20 and 21. He, that's Jesus, came home. Now, before going any further, if you know anything about the life of Jesus, you quickly would think Nazareth because that is where he was reared, born in Bethlehem, but reared for the better part of his life, almost 30 years in Nazareth. But I think this is not Nazareth. I'll tell you why in a few moments, but the point is this is this is an adoptive home for Jesus. It is where he has begun his ministry, where he has, if you will, gone public, where he has begun to reach the lives of people.

Crowds have gathered, word has traveled. So he comes back to that familiar place. And again, we read in verse 20, the crowd gathered again. He's not been to Nazareth where the crowd has gathered. It's in Capernaum where he is, quite likely. And to such an extent that they could not even eat a meal. Now, I I pause here because that was the last straw. That was that was it. That did it for the family. Let me tell you why I say that. And before I do, let me let me guard you against thinking they're out to get him.

When you read the words in verse 21, you could think that his own people heard of this. They went out to take custody of him. The word means to arrest. It means to take someone for the purpose of restraining them. Why? Because they were saying, he has lost his senses. He 's losing it. He's gone berserk. He's gone a little nuts. Uh, interesting word it it means it was used in the classics to describe the act of driving one out of his senses, throwing one out of his mind, to be beside oneself, to be insane.

And you're thinking, quite likely, why would they be out to get him? He's doing the right thing. Oh, wait a minute. Hold it. I want you deliberately to put yourself in the sandals of Jesus's mother and his brothers and sisters for the next few moments. For almost 30 years, he has been an an intimate part of the family. He has worked at the nearby, if not right at the home, the carpenter shop with Mary's husband, Joseph, perhaps with other of the brothers who were in the same trade. He has eaten his meals with them. They have had festivities and holidays together.

They have sat around into the evening telling stories and talking. He has been one with them, one at heart, one in soul. All of a sudden, one day he's gone. You read nothing in this Gospel or any of the Gospels that he left a word of explanation that he left a note. The next thing they find out is that he has gone all the way down to Judea and he's linked up with a strange figure who lived in the wilderness. He wore camel's hair and ate locusts and wild honey. He's been baptized by this man.

And the next thing they hear, he is over in Capernaum preaching. He's not doing woodwork like he's done all of his life. The the shop is collecting dust. Jesus is gone. He's by the way the firstborn. So he's a major part of the breadwinner of the family, gone. He has left and he's now preaching. And he 's preaching along with healing people and dealing with demons. And more and more you hear how popular he has become. What do we do with this? Let me tell you the stories I've heard. And they are numerous. Uh, our son had had done so well in school and now he's left his job and he's joined this campus crusade for Christ thing.

What's happened to him? Another. We were all so close. And he went off to study at Dallas Theological Seminary. He is out there training to be a preacher. There's no preacher in our family. What's he thinking? Or he used to be one of us. We'd sit around, watch TV, have a beer, relax, go on vacations together, fish together. And now it's Bible, Bible, by Jesus this, Jesus that, no beer, no fun. Next thing I know he's going to be a televangelist out there on the on the on the tube. You get the point. The difference is in generations.

This is the first century. We're now in the 21st, but that's how they saw it. And to make matters worse, he's no longer eating his meals and getting his rest, which is a great concern to any mother. He's showing signs of manic manic disorders. They're concerned about this. On top of all of that, he has chosen a rather ragged aggregation of souls, as Robert Coleman puts it in his book, Master Plan of Evangelism. This this group of people to run around with him is a band of brothers. Have you looked at them? Not one of them is a friend from Nazareth.

Not one is an old boyhood buddy he used to play soccer with. Not not one of them is anybody we know. They got a couple of fishermen. And if that wasn't enough, got two more that have hot tempers called Sons of Thunder. And he picked up a tax gatherer of all things. Everybody hates tax gatherers. Got him as one of his buddies. And on top of that, he's got one of these wild-eyed national zealots. And he even picked up one from Judea down south. They're not even our kind. And they get alone together and the last thing we heard, he wasn't even able to eat a meal.

And so they go to bring him back to Nazareth. All of a sudden, you you don't feel quite like you did it first about his family. By the way, this is the only place in all the Bible, verse 21, where you read that account. They came saying, he has lost his mind. We would say today, it's time for an intervention. Not surprisingly, they show up to rescue him from himself. Before I go any further, I'm going to even risk another statement. It has all the marks of a cult to the family. Not to us, because we know the end of the story.

It is a magnificent story of this magnificent God man who marched to a whole new drumbeat as he fulfilled the mission God sent him to fulfill as the savior of the world. But they've never read the Gospel of Mark. They don't know the story. All they know is our son and brother was right here with us. Now he's off on that strange set of involvements. So let's have a heart, okay? It'll make you appreciate verse 31 as the story continues. Remember now, we're dealing with the natural family. We would call it the biological family. Here's the natural family when his mother and his brothers arrived.

By the way, quite likely Joseph, Mary's husband, has died. He's not mentioned in Jesus's ministry or life beyond his earliest years, most likely, and all the more reason to need the the the firstborn to take the place of of the daddy in the family. But he's gone. Now these brothers arrive along with the mother, and they stand outside. Look at the verbs. They sent word to him and they called him. Isn't that remarkable? Normally, the family would be close inside and the crowd would be outside. In this case, the crowd is inside and all around him, I would imagine in the hundreds, who knows, maybe over a thousand people in the little village of Capernaum crowding all around this house to touch him, to get relief from their demonism, to to find hope to go on.

And here shows up a a small family uh, frowning and wanting to get inside to get a message to him. What is here that is not mentioned but is implied in the word called is a sense of obligation. We're we're we're family. Families tend to lay claim on their own blood kin. You you you need to give us time. You need to hear our concern, Jesus. This kind of thing throws a natural family relationship into a tailspin. I haven't checked with them, but I would I would guess that some of our recent high school graduates have family members who don't quite understand there's how they've gotten serious over the Bible and Christ and spiritual things.

Don't know that to be a fact, but I'd rather imagine some uh, one or two at least would be wondering, oh, what's going to happen to this boy we've raised? He hangs around this church a lot. They often link it to a church. It isn't the church. It's Christ. When Christ comes in and takes his place in one's life, he is enthroned in that life and all the priorities change. But the family doesn't get it because he isn't enthroned in their lives necessarily. Now, if they are, they love it. I can only speak of my family.

I happen to have had a mother who loved Christ as long as I was alive. And as long as she lived till her death, I never knew a time when my mother didn't love Christ. She would challenge me to memorize Scripture. She said, honey, you you learn one, I'll learn two. I thought, I'm going to memorize her under the table. So I'd memorize James. She'd come back with Hebrews. So I stopped that. And then she would say to me, I want you to read this book. It's going to help you in your in your walk with Christ.

That was my family. My father very much in agreement with that. Cynthia's mother loved the Lord as much as my own wife. She learned her habits for spiritual things from her mother and her grandmother as well. What a heritage. So when we said, you know, we think the Lord is leading us from the world that I was turning to to the seminary and the ministry, why I was applause everywhere. They were thrilled, but we were the exception. You have no idea how many go to seminary with fathers and mothers wondering, why would they do that?

They're going to become fanatics. I mean, almost where they be a used car salesman than a religious fanatic. Wow. Now, you got the picture. I'm deliberately taking time here because I understand this family. I want to take them aside and say, listen, listen, please. The crowd was sitting around him and and they said to him, behold, your you are mother and and your brothers. They're outside, Jesus. They're they're looking for you. Before we go any further, understand in the Middle East, the natural family is sacred, sacred. To this day, in fact, I I I met a converted Jew right here at the church following the first morning service.

He introduced himself, nice firm handshake, big smile. He said, I I understand exactly what you were saying today. When he trusted in Messiah, the family could not believe it. And he's ostracized, shunned. I didn't talk long enough with him, but he could have been buried. It's like he died.

Bill Maier: What a tender reminder that in Jesus's day, the natural family was sacred, which makes his words all the more startling. There's real comfort ahead for anyone who's felt like the odd one out in their own home. Chuck Swindoll has more to unfold here, so please keep listening to Insight for Living. He titled today's study in Mark 3, Misunderstood by the Family. To dig deeper into the Gospel according to Mark, be sure to purchase our Searching the Scriptures Bible Study workbooks by going to insight.org/offer. You know, most of us don't wake up short on information about God.

We wake up short on time with him. That's the wonderful thing about a resource we'd love to put in your hands, Swindoll's Living Insights for Every Day. It's a beautifully designed flip calendar that sets a verse or two in front of you each morning, drawn from nearly every chapter of the New Testament along with a few honest words from Chuck to help it settle into your heart before the day pulls you away. And because it's perpetual, it never runs out. The same page that studies you this year will be waiting for you the next. Truth doesn't expire.

To make it yours, call 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer. Now, if that new calendar shows you what God says, Chuck's new memoir shows you what God does with an ordinary life fully surrendered to him. In Awakened by Grace, Chuck opens the door on his own story, a stammering, unsure boy from South Texas who had no earthly reason to expect that God would use him to reach millions. But that's the whole point. God rarely picks the polished. He takes the willing and makes them useful. And that same grace that awakened Chuck's story is ready to awaken yours.

We'd love to send you a copy of Awakened by Grace. For Chuck Swindoll's memoir, call us at 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/memoir. Ever feel like an outsider in your own home? I'm Bill Maier. Chuck Swindoll describes how to respond when shunned by those you love. Tuesday on Insight for Living. The preceding message Misunderstood by the Family was copyrighted in 2010 and 2026, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2026 by Charles R. Swindoll Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.