Insight for Living

Guest (Male): What happens to a man when everything he loves is stripped away and the people closest to him make things worse? Job knew that kind of pain. He'd lost his wealth, his children, and finally, his health. And when his wife spoke words that cut to the bone, Job didn't collapse. He listened. He responded with truth. He protected his integrity.

Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll opens Job chapter 2 and draws four pieces of practical, honest counsel for every husband listening. Chuck titled his message "Job's Advice to Husbands and Friends."

Chuck Swindoll: We are examining the story of Job in our time together on these mornings. If you're not familiar with your Bible, if you go right to the center of it, you'll find the Book of Psalms, and just to the left, just before you get to the Book of Psalms, you'll find Job. Probably the oldest book in the Scriptures, to the surprise of some people. Perhaps it was certainly it was as old as the days of Abraham, and that dates it among the days of the patriarchs.

Job. We're in the second chapter. I'll read for us verse 7 down to the end of the chapter, verse 13. Job 2:7: "Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a potsherd to scrape himself while he was sitting among the ashes."

"Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?' In all this, Job did not sin with his lips."

"Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place: Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, Zophar the Naamathite. And they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him. When they lifted up their eyes at a distance, they did not recognize him. They raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe, and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights, with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great."

Guest (Male): You're listening to Insight for Living. To dig deeper into Job's story, be sure to purchase a copy of our searching the Scriptures Bible study workbook by going to insight.org/offer. Chuck titled today's message "Job's Advice to Husbands and Friends."

Chuck Swindoll: When you study the book of Job, you enter into a crucible. Crucible. I thought about that word for quite some time this past week and did a little study on it and found that at the core of it is a Latin term, CRUX. We have several English words that grow out of the Latin original. The Latin term means cross, which was commonly used in the Latin language for a place of torture—one's cross, we say. Excruciating is another term that comes from it. But crucible is on our minds as we think about this pit of agony.

Webster defines crucible: "A severe test, a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause change or development." Let me do that again. A severe test, a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause change or development. Job's crucible was brought about by two attacks from Satan, permitted by God.

Round one, he was attacked in the area of possessions. His means of earning a living or of sustaining a lifestyle. As you recall, he lost all of his livestock, most of his servants, all of the cattle, all of the donkeys, all of the means of income. And the crowning blow, he lost all ten of his adult children, and probably himself buried them, having no longer the availability of servants. Horrible thought. Literally burying all ten of his adult children.

Round two was the second attack, and as if the first had not been enough, Satan was determined to see Job or hear Job curse God. And so he attacked him in the one area that he had left, and that was his health. Not only did he take it away by covering him from scalp to sole of his feet with sore boils that oozed and cracked and turned his skin black and left him with a maddening itch, fever, and a swollen condition so that he hardly resembled that of a man any longer. The misery of that was in the place of his health.

The 19th-century Scottish divine, Alexander Whyte, put it best, I think: "Till Christ came, no soul was ever made such a battleground between heaven and earth as Job's soul was made." A battleground. And remember, we know what Job did not know. We know why it happened, and we know how it happened. He knew neither. All he knew is one day he is the specimen of health and strength and prosperity and integrity and blessing and a full quiver of children and happiness that goes along with all of that. And the next day he's lost it all, and finally, he's lost his health, and he, nevertheless, endures.

In fact, though Job is one of the, if not the oldest of the biblical books, he came to be known not as the model of suffering, but as the model of endurance. It's an important detail. James says in James 5:11, written in the middle of the first century, "You have heard of the endurance of Job." So Job endured the crucible. He didn't attempt to escape from it.

The only thing he had left when all was said and done was a wife and a handful of friends. And we know and will know again their response to him through all of this; it was neither comforting nor was it pleasant. But he endured. A professor of history once said, "If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him, but no one would have remembered him either." Had Job escaped in some way, no one would have blamed him, but we would not remember him. We remember him because he endured.

Not only did he endure the afflictions I've described, but he endured the words of a grieving and bitter wife. And he also endured the accusations of friends who took upon themselves the role of judge and jury. If you have gone through your own crucible, you know what it is like. In the midst of the pain of what you're going through, on top of that to have people turn against you. Such pain that brings. But you know what? As a result of enduring such pain, we become valuable as comforters and counselors for others.

I was walking the hallways of our church staff offices recently and I stopped by my son Chuck's office, and I noticed on his desk was a concept that he had pulled from John Eldredge's book, *Wild at Heart*. The statement read: "I can trust a man only after he has become well acquainted with pain." It's a good statement. As I recall, counsel I have received that has been valuable for me has never come from a novice. It's come from one who bears the scars and the marks of some pain in his or her life. I can trust one only after he has become well acquainted with pain.

Now then, it's because of that concept I felt it would be wise, before jumping right away into the dialogue between Job and his friends, I felt it would be helpful to get some advice from Job. We will study, and we have in our past, many of us, studied the advice others gave to Job. But we've not really looked at what Job's counsel might have been to them. A man who is going through such things and is enduring such things certainly has some things to say that would be helpful. None of it directly, understand, but I draw these indirectly by inference from really verses 9 through 13 of chapter 2.

Last time, I spoke on some words of advice for part of my message—it was words of advice for the wives, remember? I've never seen such blank faces in all of my preaching as asking that. And since you don't remember, let me give some repeat some words of advice for you who are wives. I have a couple of thoughts that I'm going to repeat here from the former message I brought in this passage.

First, always guard your words when your husband is going through a hard time. This is not only for wives with husbands; this is for you ladies who have men that you're close to and you work alongside. Maybe it's a colleague, it might be someone who works under you or above you. The point being, you're close to them. Always guard your words when that man is going through a hard time. Men can become vulnerable and, in fact, gullible during difficult times, and it would be regrettable if you simply dumped out words that would not be wise, would not be helpful in that vulnerable time he's going through. Job's wife did that, and thankfully, Job did not heed her counsel.

The second: Never suggest to us that we should compromise our integrity. Don't ever go there. Even if it would mean instant or temporary gratification or relief. Integrity is a tough enough virtue to sustain without the temptation to compromise it. Gauge your words, ladies, and I'm addressing this to the ladies because, believe it, your words do mean more than we act like they do. And wives' words are wiser words than we usually give you credit for, and that's most unfortunate. That we don't tell you enough. So when you do speak, never weaken our integrity. Remember, there's nothing more important in our character, aside from a relationship with Christ, than moral and ethical integrity. Don't even come close to suggesting that that be compromised.

So I return again to verse 9. And I want to hear some things Job, I believe, would advise wives. And again, I've spent enough years in my past taking shots at Job's wife that I don't want to do that anymore. Remember, she too buried ten children. She too has gone through the grief of the loss of a lifestyle and the privileged position of a prestigious husband, the best known in all the East, according to chapter 1. She too has watched him—she has watched him shave his head and tear his robe and sit in the city dump alongside wild dogs fighting for food and among the dung that's burned there. She has known humiliation as well. So we give her some slack here for responding as she does. I'm not saying it's right; I'm saying it's understandable.

In fact, her words come from the anguish of seeing her husband like living death enduring this skin-ulcerated condition and not being able to help him, and she just wishes he could be taken off the earth. Death is better than this. Sometime the suffering feel that. Often those with terminal illness say that.

So her words are, in verse 9, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die." And we said last time Satan was holding his breath, hoping that Job would take her advice. That's exactly what he told God that this man would do if you remove the hedge about him and treated him with anything but penthouse treatment. You would see him because he follows you, God, out of what he gets out of it rather than a true integrity of heart. And Job does not follow her lead here.

So let me suggest four. I gave the wives two things to remember. Please note, I'm giving the husbands four things now. Men, I advise you to write them down because your wife will write them down. And so I advise you to take note. And wives, I advise you not to remind your husbands of them, okay? We're hearing today, and we will give heed to these things.

The first piece of advice: Listen well and always tell her the truth. Listen well and always tell her the truth. I'm impressed that Job heard his wife. I'm impressed that he pondered, he considered her words. He turned them over in his mind. He neither misunderstood nor ignored them. He heard what she said. I've found that most of us husbands are not hard of hearing; we're hard of listening. Our wives frequently have the most important things to say to us that we will hear that day, but out of the years of experience we've had of living with them, we tend to turn that off. We say things in our minds like, "Oh boy, sat through this before, and I know where she's going here."

Wait, wait, wait. Probably Job and his wife have had a few spats. I mean, it's a marriage, isn't it? We don't have perfect marriages; we have reasonably good marriages. It's the best we can hope for. And wives at certain times in our lives will have just the kernel of truth that we need to hear, but we will miss it if we are not careful. If we operate from habit and in an impatient moment, we will not pay attention. We'll look like we are, but we're not.

Let me add: tell her the truth. Which means if it is wise and squares with what you know to be true, if it is helpful, say that. If it is not, say that. Job said that. His response, having heard her, was: "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks." Francis Andersen writes: "She sees death as the only good remaining for Job. He should pray to God to be allowed to die or even curse God, an indirect way of committing suicide." Andersen adds: "Whatever lay behind her words, Job rejects them. But he does not call her wicked, merely foolish. That is, lacking in discernment. She thinks God has treated Job badly and deserves a curse. Job finds nothing wrong with what has happened to him. Instead of helping, the words of his wife and of his friends cause him more pain and put him under more pressure than all the other things that have happened to him so far."

Job detected in her a snag of bitterness, and he said to her, "This is information I will not act on. This isn't wise. This is a foolish bit of advice, and I can't accept it." That's truth. You say, "Well, good night, Chuck, this is awfully basic. Get on to things that are deep." Well, I'm going to risk a statement here, though I don't have anyone in mind. I am sure that in most marriages, there are a few lies still awash that haven't been confessed to or corrected. I find one of the most difficult things to get couples to do is say the truth. Admit when we've done wrong, rather than skirt it or rationalize around it or excuse it because of—just say it. Or if the other side is necessary, when we hear our mate say something that we know is not good, we tend not to say the hard thing, and we need to. "You know, honey, I realize you've got my good at heart, but I honestly have to say I can't go there. I don't agree with that. I think that's unwise for you to suggest that." Or whatever. Time doesn't allow me to go to all the rabbit trails with this, but you get the picture. Listen well and always tell her the truth.

Here's the second bit of counsel for the husbands: Teach her about God. Job did that clearly. Look at how he did it. He asked a question: "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" What great theology. "Sweetheart, you have to understand that our God is not a health and wealth God. Our God is a sovereign Lord. He is Lord over whatever occurs in our home, in our lives, like I'm going through. This is no surprise to God. For some unrevealed reason, He has permitted it, and you need to know, honey, that while we can't explain it, our God is sovereign over this as well." He taught her about God.

I've not met a godly woman who has that I ever remember saying to me, "I really am not interested in what my husband has to say about spiritual things." Most of them I know will say without hesitation, "I'd rather get truth from my husband than anybody I know." And husbands, we are viewed in the New Testament—a section says a wife should not go to a pastor, but should go to a husband to find the answer to her questions. I find some women have greater respect for me of all things than their husbands.

Now, husbands, one of the joys of growing close in marriage is sharing things that God's teaching you about Himself. And think of it: here is a man covered in sore boils in such anguish he can hardly sleep, and yet he's teaching her some things about spiritual things that she needed to learn. I urge you, men who are married to Christian ladies and you are growing together in your spiritual life, take the time to share with her some of the things the Lord's teaching you. Now, how we go about it is important, okay? Rather than "Have I got some things to set you straight on?" or "There are four things you need to know!" Just ask like a question: "Shall we not receive good from God and not also adversity?" Do it graciously. Do it gratefully. Boy, you give some guys freedom to do this; it's like boom, they are in, man. They got the gloves on; they are going to pound this into them if it's the last thing they do. Don't go there.

Here's a third: Model verbal purity. In all this, Job did not sin with his lips. Model verbal purity. Because we live with our wives over the years as we do, and because we become very, very comfortable around them, and because we become unguarded in our words, our wives usually get the brunt of our worst words. Let's agree that we will remove verbal impurity from our lips.

Guest (Male): A practical and penetrating look at the story of Job on today's edition of Insight for Living. Chuck Swindoll has reminded us that a good husband listens carefully and speaks truthfully. That he takes seriously his calling to share spiritual things with his wife with gentleness, not force. And that the words he speaks to her matter deeply because she deserves his very best, not his worst.

Three principles drawn straight from the life of Job. We hope you'll carry them with you today. There's much more insight coming in this message that Chuck titled "Job's Advice to Husbands and Friends." In a single day, Job lost everything. His wealth, his children, his health. And yet, he found God in the ruins. Maybe your losses look different, but the ache feels just as real. In this series, Chuck will walk us through Job's story because it's our story too. It's a story of holding on when holding on is all you can do.

To equip you for winning the battles against discouragement, we'd like to send you Chuck's powerful book, *Finding God When the World's on Fire*. It's a guide for anyone that feels alone in their suffering, disappointment, or the quiet fear that things may never be okay again. Chuck doesn't offer empty platitudes. He tells the truth—time-tested truth that can steady your heart no matter what comes next. Ask for the book, *Finding God When the World's on Fire*, when you give a donation to support the ministry of Insight for Living. Call us at 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer.

Your gift allows us to provide Chuck's teaching on your station, on the Insight mobile app, and all the other platforms where Insight for Living can be freely heard. If you'd prefer to write to us, you can send your donation to: Insight for Living, Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas, 75034. Or call 800-772-8888. You can also go online to insight.org/donate. I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindoll describes how to be a good friend to someone who suffers, Thursday, on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, "Job's Advice to Husbands and Friends," was copyrighted in 2002, 2004, and 2026, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2026 by Charles R. Swindoll Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.