Insight for Living

Bill Meyer: A church is more than an architectural masterpiece designed to impress the neighbor. The church is a close-knit family where we demonstrate the love of Christ. And that includes forgiveness, even toward those who fail and others who are hard to love. Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll explains why forgiveness is a secret weapon in the family of God. Extending forgiveness provides us with freedom and the offender with grace. Chuck’s message comes from his series called Contagious Christianity.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: The term translated unruly is a military word that means to be away from one's assigned post. If you've ever done military service, and if you've ever walked guard duty, you know that one of the requirements of the guard is that you will walk your post in a military manner. And if you have a four-hour watch, you won't cut it short for an hour, nor will you take a tour of the more scenic areas. You stay in your assigned location. When you leave it, it is called in this Greek term an unruly act.

Let me illustrate it this way. We all drive cars. And we know that there is a place that cars belong on a street. They don't belong in a yard. As I was driving to this meeting today, I turned a couple of corners from my home and I saw a lady in her bathrobe out in front of her home talking to an officer of the law who had pulled up and his light was spinning. And their discussion I am sure was about two deep ruts that were up in her front yard that had torn up her yard and her flowerbed as the car had been driven in an unruly manner.

Her hope was that the officer would admonish the fellow who did that. Which is another way of saying punch his lights out. But the officer was standing there very controlled, listening to her complaint and looking at the ruts that had been dug into her yard by a car that had left its correct location.

Some of you are living an unruly life. You have been admonished. You have been loved. You have been given a rather lengthy leash, but you have not changed. You hurt the family living like that. You paralyze a relationship and you immobilize a friendship because you will not take your proper position as a child of God. It is our unhappy experience on occasion but nevertheless, and I call it because it is in the list, a gift, it is nevertheless an important gift urgently needed in the body that you be admonished to stop your unruly living.

Now, the list continues. We are to with equal passion encourage the faint-hearted. There is an old rendering that handled this encourage the feeble or the feeble-minded. And it left the impression it had reference to someone who was lacking in intelligence. That's not the idea. Faint-hearted has nothing to do with being mentally slow. It is a term that is used for one who is overly worried or deeply discouraged. Physically and or emotionally debilitated. We have the term despondent or blue.

Our assignment is to wrap up in our skin the gift of encouragement. I love that gift. I long to model that gift. I think of no greater tombstone etching than "this person always lifted me up." If your church were made up of simply you and those who instruct, could the instructor say you lifted me up? If you are a leader in your group and there would be given a piece of paper to all of those that you're leading, could they say of your leadership, there is a person who consistently encouraged me?

I'm a fixer-upper. My counsel is fix-up counsel. That's why I'm not a good counselor. Good counselors take people through a process. I like for people to get over the process and do right. The counsel of my father lives with me forever. Could be put into four words, "get with it, son." I suppose that's why I read so much in the area of compassion, which I lack and I want. But I wasn't raised with it. And yet I see that it works.

Hugh Prather in his book Notes on Love and Courage says: After he told me that his younger brother had been knifed, and his eyes seemed to be pleading with me to do something to comfort him, I spent 15 or 20 minutes giving him the thoughts that had helped me at times when I had suffered. Then he said, "if my brother dies, I will die at the same moment. That's how close we are." I felt foolish for having tried to solve things. There is a kind of pain that is very far beyond words and I was too busy being conscientious to notice it. He simply wanted someone to be with.

My friend, if you suffer from my malady, then you will appreciate those words. There are times that the greatest ministry of encouragement is simply our presence. Not a sermon. Not a poem. Not a project. Especially not a project. Just you. Just being there. And if you wonder if people will really respond to that kind of encouragement, allow me one other reading from the same piece.

Coming home today, I was in a five o'clock line of cars that was driving down Paseo de Peralta. There was a little boy sitting on an adobe wall who was having the time of his life waving at each driver that went by. I did not see one person who could refuse him. Lift up your head when you're with people. Look them in the eye. If it's all you can do, at least wave.

We operate as though we're all in an elevator. Ever notice people in an elevator? One of my favorite studies. You ram 25 people in a closet built for 15. And when you touch someone you say, "oh, excuse me." For what? Existing? You have to touch them in that crowded place. And everybody's eyes riveted on 10, 11, 14, 15. This is my floor, excuse me. We walk out and the door closes.

In the family, no one is on an elevator. We have to touch each other to relate to each other. We have to forgive each other. Occasionally we have to wave and say I know you're there and I care. When you meet up with one who is despondent, wave. Take a little time. Well, this list is checking off rather quickly. We've got number five already. Help the weak.

Sounds like a hospital, doesn't it? The unruly, the faint-hearted, the weak. You know why? Because it is. That's what we are. We're a body of imperfect people who need help. And so he offers not a sentimental pat on the head, but the term used for help is the one used for holding someone close. To go back to our word, cleaving to another individual. Bonding. Staying near. This is the opposite of abandonment. It suggests clinging close to someone as long as they need you.

In this case, someone who is weak or exhausted, suffering from burnout or maybe even fatigue. When David was weak, there was Jonathan. When Elijah was weak, there was Elisha. When Paul was weak, there was Silas, there was Barnabas, there was Epaphroditus, there was Epaphras. And the remarkable thing is Paul gets all the ink. In the reports on greats of the New Testament, you will never read of Epaphroditus. Most folks can't even spell the name Epaphroditus or Epaphras. And yet that was the man who diligently sought Paul when he was in chains and he often refreshed me when Paul was weak.

I seldom say a word to you who are professional counselors, but I want to say a word to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for staying with people while they are weak. Thank you for every time that they looked into your eyes and needed direction that you didn't simply toss the ball back and say, "well, whatever feels good. Whatever seems right." Thank you for clinging to them. We need you in the family. We who haven't the skill nor the time to work through the lengthy process of recovery, we need you to do that. Keep doing that. Keep helping the weak.

Now, for all of us, counselors as well as counselees, for those of us in the family, be patient with all men. Did you notice that verse 14 while you're making your sixth in the list, did you notice it's addressed to all? Now we've got something that goes beyond the family. This is for all. He would have to throw that in. Patience. Interesting term. We have the word short-tempered. You know what the Greek term is? Long-tempered. Makrothumos. We get the word thermometer from this term, thumos. Macro means long, lengthy. We have the word long-suffering. This is a word long-tempered.

Don't blow up. Have a long fuse. No one with a short temper belongs in ministry. That's right, no one. You make more messes than we can ever clean up. You need a long fuse. If you have a short fuse, get into business. You'd love that, won't you me to tell you that? So many operate from anger and impatience and irritability and just restlessness. You don't belong in ministry. We all change so slowly that you will spend all of your time angry and restless and negative with people who it seems will never change.

Just think of how patient others have been with you and turn the tables and let it go the other way. Sometime a great gift that conveys real patience is just tears. Just tears. Blessed is the ordinary. The reflections of Gerhard Frost. In the little book he writes: Christmas Eve, late afternoon. I believe I was seven. And mother, bless her, was making something special. Instead of the traditional Jell-O, whipped cream, and bananas, she was baking a towering pie.

I stood at her elbow as small boys always will as she peeked for a moment through the partly open oven door. Perfect. Perfect. The meringue just right in color and consistency. The moment had arrived. Carefully, so cautiously she drew it out when suddenly a slip of those sure hands and the capsized tower slithered across the floor, never to be a pie again. And mother, not a weeper, I could count the times, covered her face with her apron and cried. I was outraged that God would let it happen because no one, but no one, cries on Christmas Eve. Why did she do it? Prepare this gift for hungry little gluttons. Jell-O was enough. I know. It was her language for telling us that we were special.

More than 60 years have come and gone. 60 Christmases. And I remember that one the best and its gift of tears. Sometime the best expression I can give of patience is a cry. I'm still waiting. Be patient with all. And while you're wrapping, refuse to retaliate. See verse 15? He saves an entire verse for it. See to it. See that no one repays another. Put your name in place of no one. Put your enemy's name in the place of another. See to it that no one repays anyone evil for evil. Tit for tat. Poison for poison. Ugly caustic comment for ugly caustic comment. Harsh word for harsh word. Frown for frown. Fist for fist.

See that no one repays another with evil for evil but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all men. May I be painfully honest with you? That is the secret of revival. History could not record sufficiently the sweeping revival that would come across the church of Jesus Christ if we obeyed First Thessalonians 5:15. Think of families that would be reunited. Think of friends that would smile and embrace one another. Think of brothers and sisters who would now talk again and support one another. Think of the gifts that would flow by the Spirit as there was a refusal to retaliate. Think of the energy level that we would save just by getting rid of the anger and turning it into support. Think of it. Man.

And you think it's revolutionary in the body of Christ? Did you miss the last three words? For all men. Think of neighbors that would talk again. Think of folks at work that would say to one another, "I'm hoping for your success." Think of the letters that would never have been written and think of those that would have been. Think of songs that could have been written in place of insults and pieces of gossip. Don't play games with forgiveness. Don't play games with it.

In his work, Caring Enough to Forgive, David Augsburger writes wisely of things that forgiveness is not. When "forgiveness" puts you one up, on top, in a superior place as the benefactor, the generous one, the giver of freedom and dignity, don't trust it. Don't give it. Don't accept it. It isn't forgiveness. It's sweet saintly revenge.

When forgiveness is one way, calling one person to accept all the difference, absorb the pain, adjust to injustice, don't rush to it, don't close the case with it. It's not forgiveness. When forgiveness distorts feelings by denying that there was hurt, disconnecting from feelings of pain, squelching the emotions that rise, pretending that all is forgiven, forgotten, forgone, don't trust it. It's a mechanical trick.

When forgiveness denies that there is anger and acts as if it never happened, smiles as if it never hurt, fakes as if it's all forgotten, don't offer it, don't trust it, don't depend on it. It isn't forgiveness. It's a magical fantasy. And one more. When forgiveness ends open relationships, leaves people cautious, twice shy, safely concealed, afraid to risk, don't forgive. It's not forgiveness. It's private alienation. It's individual estrangement.

Not until I truly and completely forgive every person who has hurt me can I be truly free and effective. The wonderful thing about all of this is that God has built into his family all the resources we need. Think of them. In God's Word, we have all the truth we ever need. Read it. In God's Spirit, we have all the power we will ever need. Rely on him. He will be patient through you. He will forgive through you. He will encourage through you. In his Spirit, you have all the power you need. Rely on him.

And in his family, we have all the challenge we will ever need. All that we will ever need. There are other people very much like ourselves and there are many people quite the opposite. There are older and younger in the family. There are those much wiser, those much less. And that's the perfect laboratory to relate. Relate to it.

If you're in a local church and you're wondering how all of this is to be carried out, just open your eyes. That's what a church is about. From his book, What Do You Do After You Say Amen?, Foy Valentine writes these closing words. Listen closely. It is imperative for Christians to avoid an empty humanism. It is equally imperative to avoid an inane religiosity. Consider a parable.

A great congregation, strong and upright, loyal, determined to erect a house of worship worthy of their great God, began the process. With uncommon patience and painstaking care, they conceived their plans, organized their membership, appointed the committees, solicited support, gave sacrificially, and over a long period amassed many millions of dollars. After years of diligent work, they completed the construction of a truly fabulous edifice. Incorporating consummate design, superb engineering, intricate workmanship, and the finest materials gathered from around the world, the building was finally dedicated in a glorious week of splendor and rejoicing.

On the very last day of the dedication services, when the number one preacher in the nation had finished a breathtaking display of glittering homiletical skill, the pastor called the congregation to a time of thankful prayerful dedication. As the people waited in utter silence, the form of a great giant hand appeared and slowly wrote against the wall in letters 10 feet high, "Now build me a church. Now build me a church."

A church is not an edifice, an architectural dream, a place to impress the public. A church is a family. Not people stuffed into an elevator. Not folks who hold grudges and stare like steel at one another. Those who have even done them wrong. A church is a place where Christ demonstrates his life. Let's bow together.

You wonder what to give the family. Begin with respect for those who lead you. Decide to become a person of peace. To the undisciplined, give admonition. Appropriately, privately, sincerely, and humbly. To the faint-hearted and discouraged, be of encouragement. To the weak, stay near. For the irritable, be patient. For all, forgive. Father, this has been family truth. Much needed. Stated well by you in your book. Listened to. Now I ask you to help us build a church. Start with me. And may it become so infectious. May this disease of enthusiasm and germs of cheer and love and forgiveness become so infectious that it sweeps across this place. In the name of the Savior, I pray. Amen.

Bill Meyer: Gifts to Give the Family. That’s the title Chuck Swindoll assigned to his message today. It’s message number 10 in his 12-part study of First Thessalonians called Contagious Christianity. This is Insight for Living. Chuck’s verse-by-verse study through First Thessalonians will conclude on Monday. If you haven’t done so already, now’s the best time to request the materials we’ve prepared for you, including the Searching the Scriptures Bible study workbook.

It’s an excellent resource that allows you to jot down your personal thoughts and reflections about Paul’s letter. Think of it as your personal journal for working through Thessalonians the same way that Chuck prepares his sermons. To purchase the Bible study workbook for Contagious Christianity, call 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer.

If it’s a laugh you need, let me point you to one of the most popular resources in our collection. I’m referring to the three-CD set called Laughter 1, 2, and 3. Chuck is known for his cheerful teaching style and his animated laughter. And in this three-CD set, you’ll get to hear some of Chuck’s most knee-slapping illustrations and insights.

This set of audio CDs or MP3s is the perfect companion for your commute to and from work. You can purchase the audio files right now by calling us at 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer. Insight for Living is a nonprofit ministry that’s solely sustained by voluntary gifts from grateful listeners like you. Think of the many times Insight for Living has been your source of daily joy and laughter over the years. That joy stands on the strong foundation of God’s truth that gives us a reason to smile.

Maybe today’s the day you’ll give generously so others can experience contagious Christianity just as you have. To send a donation in the mail, write to us at Insight for Living, Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas 75034. That’s Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas 75034. Or just go online to insight.org/donate. I’m Bill Meyer. Chuck Swindoll exposes what he calls germs that make us contagious tomorrow on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, Gifts to Give the Family, was copyrighted in 1984, 1985, 1993, 2003, and 2024, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2024 by Charles R. Swindoll, Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.