Insight for Living

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: It's been said that living well is the best revenge. But when we're lying awake at night, replaying every cruel word, every injustice, every betrayal, that saying sounds more like a cop-out than courage. When we're betrayed, our mind kicks into gear, devising vengeance that will settle the score.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll cites a biblical hero that held a sword in his hand, ready to avenge his enemy. Yet David chose mercy over justice. So how do we surrender our battles? Chuck titled today's message, "Doing Right When You've Been Done Wrong."

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Fast forward to the 21st century. As you turn to Romans chapter 12, and get your pen handy, because I am going to give you principles you will need and you will claim in the days ahead.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Our focus now falls on the verses in Romans 12 that I read earlier. But a warning is in order. I need to warn you of something. Not only does the enemy hear everything I'm going to be saying, you're going to be tempted to erase it from your mind, because you're going to justify your situation thinking it's unique.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: You're going to want to push the delete button about the time you put your key in your car. You're going to say, "If Chuck only knew what I'm going through, he would have said, except for you." There is no exception. I am talking to you.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Don't tell me the excuse. I am talking to you. More importantly, God is speaking to you today. And I am going to urge you for a few moments to think supernaturally rather than naturally. Verse 14.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: "Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse." Principle number one. Write it down. Deliberately resist your natural instinct. Deliberately resist your natural instinct. That's verse 14.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: All of us have built-in instincts. When something comes too close to our face, we blink and we turn away. When we're about to fall, we throw our hands out. That's a natural instinct. When someone does wrong, the natural instinct is get even. Get back. Hopefully worse than he got to you.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: But this says, "Bless those. Bless and do not curse." You know what the word bless means? It's worth looking at. It's a Greek term that means to speak well of. It's from which we get our word eulogy. Is that interesting?

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: What we say at a casket to a corpse. We say nice things. We don't curse at a funeral. We bless. He's saying, "Don't wait till the funeral." Say the right things now. Give praise even.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: You see, the human nature when anger comes is to handle things in a natural way. God says, "Before you get angry, bless." You say, "Come on, wait, wait, you're already turning defensive on me." I did not write this. I am simply a messenger. That's why I use the word deliberately.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Because if you wait for it to come naturally, you'll do what you were taught to do. And that's fight back. I was pulling my pickup out from a corner. I had paused it a light and then I turned right, and I figured a little closely because a guy in a great big pickup with tires about as big as this room was coming bearing down on me. And he saw that I'd pulled out in front. He thought I was kind of a smart guy trying to push him out of traffic and he decided that he was going to make my life a little different than it had been up to that moment.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And he roared around me and then squealed around and turned right in front of me and stopped and stared at me. I go, "Hi." Why'd he do that? Hey, he's I'm trying to get on the same road he's on. And I he's taking his half out of the middle. And what right do I have to he's going to set things straight.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: You know why? That's what you do. I don't mean this to be pious, but that's what you do when you don't have the Lord. Honestly, I didn't just wave and say hi. I tell you, I was scared spitless. I just kind of backed up. I felt like my pickup was about this big and you're not going to win if you've decided to solve it by cursing. You will lose. You will lose. You will lose.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: So start by deliberately resisting your natural instinct. Write in the margin of your notes, Proverbs 15:1. "A gentle answer turns away wrath. A gentle answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger." Verse 17, verse 18, principle number two.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men." Here's the principle. Consciously fight every temptation to get even. Consciously fight every temptation to get even.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: The opening part of verse 17 in the Greek sentence is, "to no one." It's out of place for emphasis purpose. "To no one pay back evil for evil." Getting even by reacting as the person first treated you couldn't be more wrong.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: David and Saul, the most natural tendency for that young, well-built, outdoor celebrity warrior is to put Saul out of his misery. He's insane anyway. That's not his to do. That normal reaction would be wrong. When you do what is wrong, an offense is intensified. When wounded and mistreated and humiliated, the person wrongs in return and the fight is on.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And the Hatfields and the McCoys relive their lives, except without guns, hopefully. "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone." Well, then what's the alternative? To respect what is right. It means to foresee, to take thought of, to have regard for. That would include talking it out, doing that sooner rather than later, searching for ways that will communicate respect and regard.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Now, I'm a realist, let me just have you relax. I know that some enemies don't want there to be reconciliation. I know that. I understand that. Some folks want to fight the rest of their lives, but you don't. You won't.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: So the Lord gives us some breathing room in verse 18. "If possible," Don't you like that? "If possible, as far as it depends on you." See, it's your barn and you're not trying to clean his barn out, you're trying to keep yours clean. So far as it depends on you, you be at peace with all.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Well, let me get to the third principle, then I'll I'll I'll apply that in a moment. Here's the third principle. This is the next two verses. "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God." Principle number three. Get every word. Quietly trust God to handle all revenge. Quietly trust God to handle all revenge.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: "Never take your own revenge, beloved. Leave room for the wrath of God." God is well able. You step back and say, "Lord, this is if I get involved in this, I'm going to make a mess of it. You know how I am when I get my own way. Lord, this is your move. Take over. Take charge." And so you back off deliberately, and you wait. You wait for God to bring the vengeance, which he will do in his own time, never fast enough for you, but he'll do it. He'll do it.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: In fact, it says, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him a drink, for in doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head." Let me make something clear, lest you're given to pacifism. That's not a national defense verse. Okay, this is a personal relationship, one with one.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: This is not if the enemy is invading your shores. You stand back and go, "Well, whatever, can I get you a drink?" You're not going to do that. If a guy tries to break into your house, you don't say, "Hey, I got a lot in the kitchen, you might enjoy yourself." You shoot him. Okay? So no, real I knew that would. Some of you have been some of you have been waiting for something to applaud, and you got finally you're on my level, Chuck, I got it now.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: We're not talking about that. We're not talking about self-defense. We're talking about disagreements, arguments, those things that lead to lawsuits, fights, neighbor problems, on and on and on and on. We're talking about the stuff of life. And here it says, "Quietly trust God, back off, wait, trust him." And here he quotes from Deuteronomy 32:35 and 36 where Moses sets the stage and Paul picks it up.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: As we back away and focus on doing what is right, our good disarms our enemy. Trust God. Don't trust me, trust God. When we back off and refuse to do what he or she expects, they're disarmed, and as in the case of Saul, who says, "You are more righteous than I, to you the kingdom should go." Why? Because the shame of his conscience forced him to be disarmed.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: I'm interested in the little phrase, "you will heap burning coals on his head." It's a word for doing what is right, which results in shame, doing a powerful work in another person's life, where they can hardly stand it till they back away.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Roy Lauren in his old commentary on Romans, as a missionary to a group of Native Americans, worked hard to communicate the importance of not retaliating. He urged them to do what is right, and doing so will heap coals of fire on the enemy's head. Explained it carefully.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Later, one of the tribesmen carried it out. Missionary later asked him about it, hoping to hear that it was his love that prompted him to do it. The tribesmen said, "No, I just like to see his head smoke."

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: When you do it God's way, the head will smoke, but you will not have lit the fire. His conscience will light it. That area you can't reach, no matter how many swords you throw or spears you throw, no matter how many curses you level, you will not bring about repentance. God does that.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Saul's head smoked, if you will, when he looked up and there was David with a piece of his robe in his hand, and he realized he was close enough for me to feel his breath on the back of my neck and he never touched me.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: What kind of man is that? That's God's kind of king. Deliberately resist your natural instinct. Consciously fight every temptation to get even. Quietly trust God to handle all revenge. You know what that requires?

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Listen to me. I know what I'm talking about, especially today. It requires you letting it go. Letting it go. Recently, I have gone through a terrible time. Only Cynthia knows how terrible. And I was on the verge of going too far, saying too much.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And she heard me on the phone, virtually screaming to a close friend. And she was dressing in the bathroom and walked out and came down to the bottom of the stairs, quickly dressing and then she said to me, "Can I say something to you?" And I got up from my desk, and I walked over and sat down on the top stair. And I said, "Yeah."

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: "Let it go," she said. One of those verbal spears of wisdom. I mean, the point is, can you see it? It's about three inches out of my back there and she said, "I I heard your voice. I heard your tone. I heard your volume, way over there in the bathroom, downstairs."

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: "Come on, honey, let it go." I did. Can you imagine my trying to preach this if I hadn't? Imagine what kind of hypocrite I'd have to be to tell you what to do and I'm not doing it.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: By the way, you notice the word I have not used since we started? Easy. The alternative is instead of being overcome by evil, you overcome evil. You know what happens when you're overcome by evil? Listen to me, you're obsessed. You're obsessed by wrong thoughts.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: If you will, you are possessed with plans for revenge. It occupies your waking moments and even accompanies your dreams. You are overcome by evil, and you become a victim. You're victimized by the very thing you're trying to get rid of.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And some of you are living like that right now, right this hot little moment. Booker T. Washington once said, "I will not allow any man to make me lower myself by hating him." In the midst of all of this, my dear daughter Colleen made me aware of a book I have never read before. I have now read it three times.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: It's a tale of three kings by Gene Edwards. Listen to some excerpts and you'll know why I have not been able to put the book down. God has a university. It is a small school. Few enroll, even fewer graduate. Very few indeed.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: God has this school because he does not have broken men. Instead, he has several other types of men. He has men who claim to be God's authority and aren't. Men who claim to be broken and aren't. And men who are God's authority, but who are mad and unbroken.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And he has, regretfully, a mixture of everything in between. All of these he has in abundance, but broken men hardly at all. In God's sacred school of submission and brokenness, why are there so few students? Because all who are in this school must suffer much pain.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And as you might guess, it is often the unbroken ruler whom God sovereignly picks, who meets out the pain. David was once a student in this school and Saul was God's chosen way to crush David. As the king grew in madness, David grew in fear.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: But David had a question, "What do you do when someone throws a spear at you?" Does it not seem odd to you that David did not know the answer to this question? After all, everyone else in the world knows what to do when a spear is thrown at them. Well, you pick up the spear and you throw it right back.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: When someone throws a spear at you, David just wrench it out of the wall and throw it back. Absolutely everyone else does, and you can be sure of that. And in doing the small feat of returning thrown spears, you will prove many things.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: You are courageous. You stand for the right. You boldly stand against the wrong. You are tough. You can't be pushed around. You will not stand for injustice or unfair treatment. You are the defender of the faith, keeper of the flame, detector of all heresy. You will not be wronged.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: All of those attributes then combine to prove that you are also obviously a candidate for kingship. Yes, perhaps you are the Lord's anointed after the order of King Saul. There's also a possibility that some 20 years after your coronation, you will be the most incredibly skilled spear thrower in all the realm and most assuredly by then quite mad.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: You can easily tell when someone has been hit by a spear, he turns a deep shade of bitter. David never got hit. Gradually, he learned a very well-kept secret. He discovered three things that prevented him from ever being hit. One, never learn anything about the fashionable, easily mastered art of spear throwing. Two, stay out of the company of all spear throwers. Three, keep your mouth tightly closed.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: In this way, spears will never touch you even when they pierce your heart. Saul is in your bloodstream. In the marrow of your bones. He makes up the very flesh and muscle of your heart. He is mixed into your soul. He inhabits the nuclei of your atoms. We would say he's in your DNA.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: King Saul is one with you. David the sheep herder would have grown up to become King Saul II. Except that God cut away the Saul inside David's heart. The operation, by the way, took years and was a brutalizing experience that almost killed the patient.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And what were the scalpel and tongs God used to remove this inner Saul? God used the outer Saul. King Saul sought to destroy David, but his only success was that he became the handmaiden of God to put to death the Saul who roamed about in the caverns of David's own soul. Yes.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: It is true that David was virtually destroyed in the process, but this had to be, otherwise the Saul in him would have survived. David accepted this fate. He embraced the cruel circumstances. He lifted no hand, offered no resistance, nor did he grandstand his piety. Silently, privately, he bore the crucible.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: Because of this, he was deeply wounded. His whole inner being was mutilated. His personality was altered. When the gore was over, David was barely recognizable. When God wants to do an impossible task, he takes an impossible person and crushes him.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: And that may very well be you right now. This is your moment to do it God's way. I plead with you, let it go. Will you bow with me, please? I'd like our heads to be bowed and our eyes closed. I I'm going to ask something unusual of you.

Pastor Chuck Swindoll: I'm going to ask that you not share this with other people. Not for a while.