Insight for Living

Guest (Male): God's grace is generous. His forgiveness is real. But don't be fooled; consequences remain. Take David for example. He learned the hard way. Though God forgave his sin with Bathsheba, David spent the rest of his life watching his family unravel in ways that mirrored his own failures, including his son Absalom.

Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll confronts a dangerous deception that plagues modern Christians: the belief that confession erases consequences. In this study, we'll discover that even forgiven people reap what they sow. Chuck titled his message, Absalom, the Rebel Prince Charming.

Chuck Swindoll: Before we look at Second Samuel chapter 12 and following, I want us to look into Galatians chapter 6. You turn there, please, and let's locate verses 7 and 8. I want to give you a principle from these two verses and then I want to lay on you the consequences that follow in light of the principle. These two verses are no doubt the most familiar in the book of Galatians. Many of you have quoted these words and didn't really know where they were sourced.

Galatians 6:7 begins, "Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption." Let's stop there. Here is the principle: we reap what we sow, forgiveness notwithstanding.

If there is anything we have been duped into believing in our era of grace, it is the thinking that if we will simply confess our sins and claim God's forgiveness, then this business of consequence is all taken away. But that is not what the verse says. The verse is written to people like you and me living in the era of grace, written to the church. It's not a law verse. It's not to Israel. It's to God's people, children of the King, people under grace.

And the verse says, "Don't be deceived. God isn't mocked. Whatever you sow, you reap. If you sow to the flesh, you reap corruption, forgiveness notwithstanding." Grace means that God, in forgiving you, does not kill you. Grace means that God, in forgiving you, gives you the strength to endure the consequence. It does not mean the consequences are automatically removed.

That is never more true than in the life of David. Second Samuel chapter 12, the awesome sin in David's life led to trouble the likes of which few fathers on earth will ever go through. Now let me show you from this passage, beginning at verse 7 and following, some of the stairsteps that went down in David's life, leading him to a life of misery as a result of his sin.

Now David, verse 7, Nathan says, "You are the man." The prophet has stood before the king and has told him what no one else would tell him during the year's time in his life. "You're the one that took Bathsheba. You're the one that had Uriah murdered. You're the one that's lived like a hypocrite. You're the man, David." Verse 13, David said to Nathan, "I have sinned."

But wait. Wait a minute. Will you look at the prediction that Nathan makes? Verse 10, under the guidance and inspiration of God, the prophet declares, "The sword shall never depart from your house." If you have a pencil, circle the word "never". The sword will never depart from your house. I thought he was forgiven. He is. Verse 13 says, "The Lord has taken away your sin; you shall not die." That's forgiveness.

But it says nothing about the consequences? Oh, yes it does. It says in verse 10, "The sword will not depart from the house." Verse 11, "Thus says the Lord: Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household." Twice in two verses, the mention of his own house. The Good News Bible renders this passage with this bad news: "I will cause those from your own family to bring trouble on you."

The Living Bible speaks of David having to live under a constant threat in his family since God said, "I will cause your household to rebel against you." I told you it wasn't an easy message to hear because it isn't an easy message to preach. I have no platform upon which I live that keeps me free of the very things I'm declaring tonight. I have endured some of the consequences just as you and, no doubt, before God I will endure more because I am imperfect.

And every time I make a choice to sin, I can be sure my holy God will not be mocked. As I turn to Him and lay my life before Him, as I repent of that, as I change my mind and turn to Him for forgiveness, God will keep me from death. God will guard me in His grace, but He will not take away the consequence until I have gone through that period that He chooses for me to go through. Now the sad part about it is, so will some of my children. So will my wife be affected in some cases. So will the church that I serve. And that's true in your life as well.

David is forgiven, but it says that God will cause the household to rebel against him. Now the general prediction we want to remember is this: trouble will come upon David's household. Remember the beginning statement I made? There are two kinds of problems that a family can endure: trouble from without and trouble from within. And this is a case of the second. David endures with his family trouble from within.

And I don't think there's any way to write in the sacred record the awful guilt that this man lived with as he looked back over the months that we're going to travel through tonight and trace the steps of the downward trend of misery because he sinned during that 12-month period of time.

Job chapter 4, verse 8 is a verse you might margin in your Bible. Just in passing, let me reaffirm the principle of Galatians 6 by looking at Eliphaz's words in Job 4:8, "According to what I have seen, those who plow iniquity and those who sow trouble harvest it." Hosea 8:7 says that Israel sowed the wind and reaped the whirlwind. Same principle.

My friend John W. Lawrence some time ago wrote a fine book entitled The Seven Laws of the Harvest. In this book, he traces the truth of harvesting what we have sown. You should have that book; it's an excellent work to study. He traces it through seven laws of harvesting. I was intrigued by the second law again this week as I reviewed his book. The law that says we reap the same in kind as we sow.

Listen to Lawrence's words: "When David sowed to the flesh, he reaped what the flesh produced. Moreover, he reaped the consequences of his actions even though he had confessed his sin and been forgiven for it. Underline it, star it, mark it deeply upon your conscious mind: confession and forgiveness in no way stop the harvest." That whole line is italicized.

He had sown; he was to reap. Forgiven he was, but the consequences continued. This is exactly the emphasis Paul is giving the Galatians even in this age of grace. We are not to be deceived, for God will not be mocked. What we sow, we will reap, and there are no exceptions.

I don't know if you're reading me or tracking with me so far, but I think some of you are. I believe the feedback from your faces is saying you're on target with me. You see what our theology has led us to believe? We have set ourselves up with a sin mindset. And therefore, to live with the guilt and the consequences, we have told ourselves that grace means those consequences are going to be removed, meaning it's fine to go on in that same vortex sucked under by the power of the flesh.

Rather than what Paul teaches: you don't have to sin. You sin because you want to. You have the power in the person of the Holy Spirit to say no to it at every turn in your life. If you choose to say yes against the prompting of the Holy Spirit, you may be certain you will live in the backwash of the consequence, which may be severe and may be slight. Unfortunately, so will innocent people who are closely related to you.

Now David, Second Samuel chapter 12. The general prediction is the sword will never depart from your house. Now I learned from the last service that I can't get through this message. And I tried like crazy to hurry, hurry, hurry and I'm not going to do that. So I'm going to just take us through the eight steps and then we're going to wrap it up that bottom part next time. I want us to see the downward trend in David's life. Now take notes, at least take note from moment to moment of what we're reading and let it have an effect on your mind.

Now verse 11 introduces us to the first of eight steps downward in David's misery. Marital infidelity—that is the first. Verse 11, "Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household. I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he shall lie with your wives in broad daylight." The Hebrew word for companion is an intimate term and could very well have referenced to one of David's own children.

As a matter of fact, when you trace the prediction that is here into chapter 16, you find that is exactly what happened. His own son Absalom cohabited with his concubines. Look at chapter 16 and you will see it for yourself. Verse 21. It's a grim account, but it's true. There will be marital unfaithfulness, and I want you to notice where it took place.

Verse 20, chapter 16, "Absalom said to Ahithophel, 'Give your advice. What shall we do?'" Now Ahithophel is a poor counselor. As a matter of fact, he is a wicked counselor. Ahithophel said to Absalom, "Go into your father's concubines whom he has left to keep the house. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself odious to your father. The hands of all who are with you will also be strengthened."

So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof. Where is it David first fell into sin and planted the seeds? On the roof. On the roof of the palace. As if to say we'll rub his nose in it. So they pitched a tent on the roof of the palace, and it says Absalom went into his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. If you please, it was a sordid display of the flesh, as I suppose with announcement and with all sorts of shoutings.

They called attention to what was going on and people could gather and watch him as he went in and out of this tent, experiencing and carrying out the very fulfillment of the marital infidelity predicted in verse 11 of chapter 12. I tell you, that's a consequence to bear. It's a shameful thing.

Now let's go to the second one. Back to chapter 12, verse 15: the loss of the newborn baby. Not only was there marital infidelity, there was loss of the baby. Nathan went to his house. Then the Lord struck the child that Uriah's widow bore to David. It's interesting it does not call her his wife, David's wife. It calls her Uriah's widow bore to David, so that he was very sick.

Verse 17, the elders of the household stood beside him. Verse 18, "Then it happened on the seventh day that the child died." Verse 19 closes, "And they said, 'He is dead.'" Was bad enough to have the experience of marital infidelity, but on top of that, ultimately that which happened came the loss of the newborn baby, which added to the grief of this forgiven man.

There is a third. Chapter 13, verses 1 to 14. One of David's sons rapes his sister. It's a disgraceful scene in chapter 13, and there's a lot of emotion in it. Let me clarify something before we go any further. Now listen carefully. David married many wives and had many concubines. From these relationships, there were many, many children born. I don't think we have a full genealogical record of all David's children.

But we do have it very carefully presented that between the relationship between David and Maacah (M-A-A-C-A-H), husband-wife, there were born at least two: Absalom and Tamar. They were blood brother-sister, same parents, mom and dad. By another relationship, David with another woman, there was born the son Amnon (A-M-N-O-N). Amnon was a half-brother to Tamar—same father, different wives, different moms. Got it?

Now when you read this account, you will notice that Amnon, the half-brother, is attracted to Tamar, half-sister, the blood sister of Absalom. And the reason I want to present that is because Absalom comes to her defense later on and now you know why. She was to him very precious. She was like your own brother or sister, true brother or sister, unlike Amnon's relationship with her.

Now verse 1, "It was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her." It was a wrong kind of love. It was a physical love. It was an incestuous lust. And you will notice he was so frustrated because of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.

And through a process of events, he had a friend named Jonadab who helped set up the event. Tamar was brought into this scene where the boy faked illness, and he said to her in verse 11 in a very direct proposition, "Come lie with me, my sister." And she said, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel."

However, verse 14, he would not listen to her since he was stronger than she, suggesting there was a struggle. He violated her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred. Note that. After the brother raped the sister, there was a sense of instant hate, and he put her out. And guess where she went? To her brother Absalom.

It says in verse 20, Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you?" Now it doesn't record an answer, but I imagine she nodded her head. I imagine that in the shame and disgrace of her experience, she simply had the strength just to nod. "Now keep quiet, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this matter to heart." So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom's house. Verse 22, but Absalom did not speak to Amnon either good or bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

Step number four: a brother hates a brother. Now David has a twisted problem. Not only has there been rape in the family, there is now adult hatred. When siblings despise one another and they grow to full adulthood and the despicable feelings have grown in silence, bitterness leads to murder. And here is a classic illustration. A brother hates his half-brother.

Speaking of sibling rivalry, it's a vivid memory in my own mind of some number of years ago outside this state. I had a funeral service for a man who died rather young; he was in his 40s. He had a couple of grown daughters, a son that was a teenager, and there was pressure in that family. In fact, the two sisters had not spoken to one another for quite a period of time. When I called on the home to help assist in the plans for the funeral, I will never forget: the sister came in and there was an instant sense of pressure and bitterness. One sort of shoved the other one, and then an argument broke out and they literally began a fistfight. Sister with sister.

And I'll tell you they hit the floor and they rolled around several times. One foot went up and broke loose the little shutters that were on the dining room window. The table was bumped over as the other one had the one by the hair and threw her down. The chandelier fell and broke. I was so glad I'd had judo training in the Marine Corps to help pull them apart. I've never had anything like that happen in my life. One girl had to be held in a room, another girl had to be held by a relative who was there as we worked through the final details of the putting to rest of the father.

And I want you to know that this kind of hatred, while it isn't physically expressed, is not that uncommon in homes today. Some of you, if you're honest with yourselves, would admit there are strained relations between you and your immediate family. And you've not come to terms with it, and you don't plan to. Who knows but what some of that is not the consequence of some sin in years past? Who knows? Absalom and Amnon did not speak, it says, for two years. For two full years, it went on.

And I want to ask something: where in the world was David? Where is the absent father? But you know the only thing it says in all the record, and I have read every verse from here to the end of the book, the only thing I find in reference to David as it relates to his daughter being violated by a son is verse 21: "When King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry." And that's all you're going to read. That's all.

Incredible passivity. Incredible preoccupation. His head is somewhere else. It has been for a long time. These kids have raised themselves. Now, I said it was a hard message to hear. Dads, we are living in the generation of the absent father. And I'll tell you, the mother is not designed to cope as both mom and dad. It is not her place. It is not her calling.

Leadership certainly can be carried out as a partnership in a relationship between mom and dad with the children. It was never designed for the mother to be the sole source of discipline and authority. But we are living in a generation of the authoritative mother who has taken the role that was never hers to take, simply because the father has become occupied 16 hours and more a day somewhere else. And when he's home, if the truth is known, he is addicted to the television set.

Guest (Male): This is Insight for Living and Chuck Swindoll titled today's message, "Absalom: The Rebel Prince Charming." Hold your place right here because there's much more to David's story that Chuck wants to show us. We'll discover how the consequences of David's sin reverberated throughout his entire family.

Here at Insight for Living, we're featuring this collection of Bible stories because it focuses on lesser-known Bible characters. Each one teaches us deep lessons about life. Some are heroes; others like David are casualties of their own making. Chuck has a remarkable ability to resurrect these forgotten lives from a verse or two of scripture. Suddenly, you're not reading about ancient history; you're sitting across from someone who knows what it's like to doubt, to be overlooked, and to navigate the same struggles we still face today.

Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives brings these encounters to life. Whether you're starting your morning with one of these stories or your small group is hungry for something deeper than surface-level discussion, our Searching the Scriptures Bible study workbook will guide you. To order the Bible study workbook and other related resources, go to insight.org/offer.

Since our very first day of broadcasting back in 1979, we've discovered that our listeners are driven to learn more about God and the Bible. In response, we've created Guided by Grace. It's a stunning magazine that arrives at your home filled with biblical encouragement. Every issue focuses on characteristics that mark genuine Christian living: joy that transcends circumstances, authentic relationships, servant leadership, and generous hearts.

In Guided by Grace, you'll discover Chuck's insights on each theme, inspiring testimonies from Insight for Living pastors around the globe, and devotionals designed for meaningful reflection. It's practical biblical content that meets you right where you are. Your one-year subscription is absolutely free; it's our gift to you. Once again, it's called Guided by Grace. Watch how God uses it to encourage your heart. Visit insight.org/guidedbygrace.

I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindoll presents a cautionary message about the devastation of compromise, Friday on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, Absalom, the Rebel Prince Charming, was copyrighted in 1978, 1982, 1988, 1997, 2006, 2009, 2012, 2022, and 2024, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2024 by Charles R. Swindoll, Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.