Insight for Living

Bill Meyer: When conflict arises and revenge seems justified, how do you stop disaster before it's too late? The answer will be found in three real-life characters who demonstrate three unforgettable lessons through one life-threatening encounter. Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll takes you inside a riveting Old Testament story where an explosive confrontation teaches us exactly how to de-escalate two warring sides.

These aren't just ancient principles, they're life-changing truths you can apply today in your relationships, workplace, and at home. Chuck titled his message: Abigail, the Woman Who Saved Her Husband’s Neck.

Chuck Swindoll: A good wife cares about her husband. She has his good at heart. She does him good, not evil all the days of her life. It's hard for some of you to hear, I know. I've talked to some of you, I know that. It would be hard for me to do if I were in your place. And I'm not judging your reaction; I'm simply teaching you what the Scripture teaches from Abigail's model. She could very easily have done nothing, and you wouldn't have blamed her unless you'd have known her motive, which God knows.

I want you to watch her response to this situation. Talk about an act of intercession. Follow along. Abigail hurried (Verse 18). She hurried and took 200 loaves of bread and two jugs of wine and five sheep already prepared and five measures of roasted grain and 100 clusters of raisins and 200 cakes of figs, and she loaded them in vans and took off. In those days, they were donkeys, but she put together the first catering service. In private, nobody prompting her, doing it all for Nabal the Hun, who didn't deserve it.

She put together all of this wonderful meal and while she's finishing the cooking, and I'm sure her servants are working with her, she's planning in her mind what she's going to say when she meets up with that angry man coming down the hills. This is a great lady. She knows her place, and I don't mean that condescendingly. She, in fact, knows that her place is much more significant than Nabal's right now in history. She is his source of life, but she doesn't say a word to him. You can't talk to a man like that. Courageous act.

She said to her young men, go on before me; behold, I'm coming after you. And she did not tell her husband Nabal. Submission does not mean that you say every single thing to your mate, that you tell every single thing that's happening about your entire life. Some men take that submission thing and use it as a sword and twist it in the heart of their wives. You have to tell me everything, every day. That’s nothing more than an insecure act. And in this case, Nabal wouldn't have listened anyway. She knew the best act she could perform was one without his knowing it. She's lived with him long enough. She's wise.

Now watch Verse 20. It came about as she was riding on her donkey and coming down by the hidden part of the mountain, behold, David and his men were coming down toward her. Get the scene here. And these donkeys are coming along. They've got all this stuff on the back and here's David. He pulls his horse back and stops. He sees this woman there with a crockpot. You cannot get angry with a woman standing there with a well-prepared meal. These guys are hungry as wolves in a winter, and they're coming down the hill with murder in their mind and she stops them with a great meal. It’s a brilliant plan, brilliant.

And David said, "Surely in vain I have guarded all that this man has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him." See, he's been rehearsing his rash message. "And he has returned me evil for good. May God do so to the enemies of David and more also, if by morning I leave as many as one male of any who belong to him." You can just hear it. As he stands, he's a man of war. I mean, nothing he likes better than a good fight, especially when it's deserved. He would have been a great hockey player.

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey, and she fell on her face, bowed herself to the ground. And she fell at his feet and said, "On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you and listen to the words of your maidservant. Please, do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he." A submissive wife is not a blind wife. A godly wife can be a very discerning wife. She knows his nature. She's made a study of him.

She's suffered the brunt of his nature more times than she has occasion to share it. She says, I have a man whose name speaks for itself. And she says, I'm standing here on his behalf. "Nabal is his name and folly is with him; but I your maidservant did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. I wasn't there. I wasn't aware of the encounter. Now therefore, my lord, as Jehovah lives, and as your soul lives, since Jehovah has restrained you from shedding blood and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then, let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord be as Nabal."

"And now let this gift which your maidservant brought to my lord, you, oh king-elect, you David, may it be given to the young men who accompany you. Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant; for the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord, you David, you are fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you all your days." Good night, that's a great speech. "David, look ahead. Realize you're not even 30 and the greatest years are in front of you and you will rule over our land. I've heard of your anointing. You will be the king. There'll never be one like David. Don't ruin your record."

"Don't smear your reputation before you take the throne. David, you will be king, and I respect you. Just take the gift and forgive him." Wow. "And should anyone rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, then the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God; but the lives of your enemies He will sling out from the hollow of His sling." She prepared that while she was fixing the bread and the raisin cakes and the roasted lamb. She put all of that together.

"And it shall come about when the Lord shall do for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and shall appoint you ruler over Israel, that this will not cause grief. Look at that. Think ahead, David. If you do this, it will cause grief and a troubled heart to you, my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself. You're bigger than that, David. Don't fight your own battles. The battle is the Lord's. I heard you say that when you faced Goliath. This is your moment, David. And when the Lord shall deal well with my lord, remember your maidservant."

David puts the sword up, stands there, wipes the sweat off his brow, and he suddenly, flashing before David is the realization of the foolishness of his rash act. And he says to her, "Blessed be the Lord God of Israel who sent you this day to meet me." By the way, David is called a man after God's heart. Do you know what that means? Does it mean perfect? No, you know better than that. You've already seen an example of the fact that he's not a perfect man. He's impatient, he's rash, he's passionate. He's a man who had many women before his death. That doesn't mean he's perfect.

It means when the things that touch the heart of God move God, they also touch the heart of David and they move David. They had hearts alike. The things that softened and gave encouragement and strength to David were things that pleased and praised God. No one could write the Psalms that the man wrote without that. And he suddenly senses the reproof from the lips of this lovely woman who has bowed herself before him. And he says, "Blessed are you! Blessed be your discernment, blessed be you who have kept me this day from bloodshed and avenging my own hand. You've saved my reputation, Abigail, and you don't even know me."

"Nevertheless, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me, surely there would not have been left in Nabal until the morning light as much as one male." What an act of intercession. So David received from her hand what she had brought and he said to her, "Go up to your house in peace; see, I have listened to you and I have granted your request." Wow. That's a story in itself. So they have a picnic and what they can't eat they bundle up and they take back into the hills. He's gone.

Now you can't stop here. Not only does the chapter not end here, the story doesn't end here. Abigail has done a wonderful thing without any knowledge of her husband and without any encouragement on his part. By the way, F.B. Meyer, in his chapter on David, calls this chapter, "A Cool Hand on a Hot Head." And that's what she has been. She's placed a cool hand on his angry brow. And he leaves reproved and a better man for it. She turns her group in another direction and they go back home. Now watch what she has to face when she gets home. Some of you will understand.

Then Abigail came to Nabal. Remember she saved his life, she literally saved his neck. Abigail came to Nabal and behold, he was holding a feast in his house like the feast of a king. And Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk. The guy is stoned out of his mind. The woman comes back from this courageous act, and wouldn't it have been great for the husband to have met her at the door, having heard of what she had done, put his arms around her and thanked her? Wouldn't it have been marvelous? Not the least he could have done.

This stupid man is drunk. He doesn't even know what's happening. He doesn't know that the hot breath of death has been right down the back of his neck. This woman needed a word of thanks and she didn't get it. She doesn't even think of talking to him again; she knows it won't do any good. He's drunk. And so it says she didn't tell him anything at all until the morning light. As I read that, I thought about her night that she spent after spending that courageous day and all she had done, dropped in bed exhausted, maybe cried herself to sleep. All she can hear is the music from the other room and the loud voices of Nabal and his cohorts.

So the next morning comes. In the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things. Look at what it says: and his heart died within him, so he became as a stone. He listened to her tell what could have happened and she described to him the whole scene, and he's trying to get over a hangover and he's listening to this thing as it passes in review and suddenly he has a stroke. He has a heart attack. And watch, it came about ten days later it happened that the Lord struck Nabal and he died. Died of apoplexy. Wow.

Now, wives, be careful what you do with Verses 37 and 38. Once again, I warn you about misappropriating the Scriptures or misapplying them. To her amazement, God's plan unfolded suddenly before her eyes. She had saved his life, only to come back and tell the story so he would be informed in case word reached him with not all the truth connected to it. She just unfolded the story and over the breakfast table, she unloads what happened the day before. Ten days later, he dies.

In case you like fairy tale endings, you'll love this story. Now what could be the best thing you could imagine would happen? I mean, if this were a movie and it's the last three minutes, you don't want her to just kind of die an old lady sitting there on the ranch with 3,000 sheep out the window. You want her to be happy. Look at what happens. When David heard Nabal was dead, he said, "Hot dog!" Not exactly. He said, "Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal and has kept back His servant from evil," meaning himself.

"The Lord has returned the evildoing of Nabal on his own head." She gets the credit for that. Then David sent a proposal to Abigail to take her as his wife. Wow. That's what you call quick reaction. And when the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel and spoke to her, "David has sent us to take you as his wife." Now some people believe that grieving ought to take place over many, many years. I don't see Abigail grieving for years over this. She bowed her face to the ground. She said, "Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord's servants." Then Abigail quickly arose and rode on a donkey and her five maidens who attended her, and she followed the messengers of David and became his wife. Wow.

Now again, be careful with that. It is true that grieving after a loss often takes some time. But be careful about lengthening that time because of that's what it took for you. In this case, she was in the arms of David within a brief period of time and that was enough wife for him. Unfortunately, he didn't stop with her. There were others.

Let me help you learn some lessons from this. There are some lessons that linger on in this story. Let's learn one from each main character. One, two, three. From David, I learned this: rash reactions never pay off. I learned from David's quick-tempered reaction that could have led to murder that rash reactions never pay off. For all I know, as even as I speak, in the back of your mind, there is a plan that you have in mind to put into operation. It's a passionate act and if you are honest with yourself at this moment, it is rash. I warn you. If it's rash, it's wrong. Stop. Rash reactions never pay off.

Think through the consequences. Like me with the letter that I almost sent. Sleep on it. Read it through again. You've spent your time on this side of the conflict; force yourself to get over on that side and look at it through the other set of eyes. Realize that if you act rashly, you probably are acting defensively and it could hurt in the long run for the years to come. Rash reactions never pay off. And I really mean never.

Second, we learn from Nabal: insensitive husbands always leave unknown heartaches in their wake. Insensitive husbands always leave unknown heartaches in their wake. Yes, always. The tragedy is they're unknown and so the insensitive man just keeps doing them. Nabal was insensitive to those who protected his flock and the explosion that occurred up in the hills that could have led to his demise was prompted without his even knowing it. He was so insensitive.

He was insensitive to the danger which made life difficult for his wife. If you read the text with me carefully, David would have killed her too. He'd have killed everybody in the camp. Insensitive individuals hurt people in their concentric circles, in their sphere of influence. Learn a lesson if you happen to be a Nabal. Wake up. Break the habit of a deaf ear. He was insensitive to his wife's need when she came home late that night from that exhausting, courageous day. She stuck her neck out for him, which he didn't deserve. Insensitive husbands always leave unknown heartaches in their wake.

There's one more and I learn it from Abigail: wise wives seldom miss the best use of timing and tact. Wise wives seldom miss the best use of timing and tact. When Abigail sensed danger, no one had to tell her it was time to move swiftly. Wisdom doesn't mean you always move slowly. We read: she hurried and put that meal together. She acted swiftly when the moment was needed and when she saw a murder in David's eyes, she spoke courageously though calmly.

She sensed that's what's needed right now. If I don't speak now, he'll run over me on the way to the camp. And when she finished with her work, she returned silently and didn't say a word. It wasn't the right time. The next morning was, when she was able to explain everything openly. Aren't these wonderful stories contained in Scripture? They're all there for our learning.

One final verse out of Romans, may I have you turn? Romans 15:4. One of my favorites that relate in the New Testament that relate to Old Testament Scripture. Let me just show you what God says about how we react to statements from the Old Testament. Look at 15:4 of Romans: For whatever was written in earlier times, including 1 Samuel 25, was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. I hope that happens. I hope the rehearsal of the story of David, Nabal, and Abigail has brought you fresh hope. May we bow together for a few moments of thought.

Close your eyes, will you? For a moment, let your life do a quick pass in review. Let's don't look too far back. I'll join you in this mental journey. Could it be that you're sitting on a time bomb, you're about to light the fuse, you're just about ready to set this thing off that's going to bring incredible hurt and heartache? Are you sure that's what God would have you do? Is that really His plan?

Or do you find yourself honestly now on the back of that horse like David, galloping toward what could be the beginning of a ruined reputation? In all honesty, would you have to say that you are an insensitive person, still not yet getting the quiet voice of the Spirit of God, still not checking in with that? Does everything have to be so obvious to you? Ask God for a sensitive spirit to take away the callousness, the thickness, to give you the ability to see needs in your partner or in your friend and to meet them without being told.

And finally to you who are very faithful and caring mates, mismatched in your marriage: may God give you great grace, strength of character, freedom from revenge and retaliation. Remember the battle is the Lord's. His timing is perfect. You may not know Christ as your Savior and you may have to stop and realize that's the reason you've not been able to turn the corner in these character traits and I point you to Him right now. He'd love to turn your life around. He can do that, you know.

Our Father, we pause in this quiet moment to acknowledge the relevance of a story that we have seen out of ancient Scripture and how up-to-date these moments have been. In some place, we've seen ourselves in the print of the page and we acknowledge Your hand on us. Thank You. Thank You for saving us, for rescuing us, for reproving us through the wise words of a friend or a mate or one of our own children or our parent. Thank You for lessons learned and even learned the hard way. Thank You for restraining us from a rash decision, perhaps doing so even now. And I pray that You would continue to have charge of our thoughts as we leave this study and step into the real world where we fulfill the assignments of life. We commit our day to You and the days of this week, in Jesus’ wonderful name. Amen.

Bill Meyer: Chuck Swindoll, our Bible teacher, has brought this story to life in ways that inspire personal application. It's a story about three characters: David, Nabal, and Abigail. Each one offers compelling lessons on life. You're listening to Insight for Living, and Chuck titled his message: Abigail, the Woman Who Saved Her Husband’s Neck.

Abigail is just one of the characters we're getting to know in this collection of 14 Bible stories called Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives. In this popular study, Chuck focuses on these obscure characters of Scripture. They're ordinary people whose stories of triumph and failure show us that true significance comes from serving Christ, not our own personal gain. This collection of biographical sketches from Chuck speaks to every believer, whether you've walked with Christ for decades or have just begun your journey.

To explore the lives of these men and women more fully, visit insight.org. And while at our website, you'll see our Searching the Scriptures Bible study workbook. It's designed to follow along with Chuck's daily messages, and you can take notes and record your personal observations. And there's also a full-length book that Chuck's written for this series as well.

At insight.org, there's a lot to check out. In fact, one of our listeners explained how his pastor mentioned Chuck in a sermon and as a result, this man searched online for Chuck's resources. He said, "I've been glued to the Insight app and website ever since. You have so many great resources." To purchase the Bible study workbook for this series, call 800-772-8888 or go online to insight.org/offer.

We'd love to hear your story too. To write a letter to our team today, address it to Insight for Living, Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas, 75034. Again, that’s Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas, 75034. You can also call us at 800-772-8888 or connect online at insight.org.

I'm Bill Meyer, inviting you to join us when Chuck Swindoll describes Absalom, the Rebel Prince Charming, tomorrow on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, Abigail, the Woman Who Saved Her Husband’s Neck, was copyrighted in 1991, 1992, 2001, 2006, 2012, and 2026, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2026 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.