Insight for Living

Guest (Male): Consider for a moment the twists and turns in this real-life drama. A wealthy fool insults the wrong man. 400 warriors march toward his home to rough him up. One courageous woman takes a risk and de-escalates the volatile situation, employing nothing but her wit and a home-cooked meal.

Today, on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll recounts this gripping true story. It feels like it could be taken from today's headlines, proving that ancient scripture speaks powerfully to our modern relationships. Chuck titled today's message "Abigail: The Woman Who Saved Her Husband's Neck."

Chuck Swindoll: Most husbands I know can tell stories of being rescued by their wives. By that, I don't mean necessarily some heroic act where the wife saved her husband from some life-threatening disaster, but perhaps keeping him from saying something that he would have said, or giving him a warning ahead of time lest he tumble into some situation that he would later or they would both later regret.

I can't tell you how many times my wife has rescued me, saved me from making a rash or inappropriate decision. In fact, as I think back in my own life, I can recall a couple of occasions that I feel fairly comfortable sharing with all of you now in our past. A number of years ago, when our younger son was just entering his teenage years, my world had sort of exploded. I was engaged in too many involvements. I had not learned to say no as often as I needed to, and there were numerous irons in the fire.

As is usually true when that happens to the father of a family, the children and often the wife are left with the leftovers of time. Cynthia observed this occurring in my life, and she was especially concerned about one aspect of it, and that was my relationship with our younger son, Chuck. Choosing her time very carefully and selecting the right moment with me, because moods mean so much for such reproofs, she said to me one time, "Are you aware of how much time you spent with Kurt, our oldest, and how little time compared to that you're spending with Chuck?"

She said, "I remember looking out the front door and seeing you and Kurt play catch or play touch football or whatever in the cul-de-sac until it was almost dark or even after dark, and you were at all of his practices and you were there at all of those occasions. But do you realize how seldom you're even playing catch with Chuck?"

Of course, I was defensive, and I wasn't really open as I should have been until I thought about it. The result of that rescuing experience was wonderful. She spoke at just the right time, and it was a corner-turning moment for me as a father and as a husband. It led to the building of a much closer relationship than, as I think back, I fear I would have ever had with our younger son. It was one of those times when I would have fallen into the trap of choosing involvements outside the home rather than taking care of business within the home. She rescued me. She saved my neck in that relationship.

Another more recent comes to my mind. Feelings of growing concern between myself and another brother in the Lord whom you don't know, living outside the state. So don't try to figure out who it is. A sort of a growing offense continued, and a number of things transpired which sort of got my goat. I hadn't said much to him. We were close enough for me to say something of my discontent in a particular area of our relationship.

Then something happened that I won't mention that prompted me to sit down one Saturday afternoon and to write a letter. I spent two, two and a half hours on a rather strong letter that sort of reproved this brother. I edited it and I rewrote it, and then I did it again. You know, often we write those letters in our minds, but seldom do we actually put them on paper. Well, this particular Saturday, I put it on paper.

When I finished, as I often do with the few times I've written a letter like that, I sat down Saturday night and read it to Cynthia. I said, "What do you think about this?" And I read it with all the passion and feeling that I had when I'd written it. She listened and nodded understandingly. I knew I was in for more than "Oh, that's a wonderful letter."

She didn't say much, but she did say this. She said, "You know, honey, if I were you, I would sleep on that letter before I mailed it. Everything you say is true, and I don't think it's exaggerated, but it's awfully strong. And I think you may regret it if you mail it." Well, I went to bed that night, and I stayed awake on it. I didn't sleep on it. It churned inside me.

Early the next morning, I went downstairs and I opened up the letter and I looked at it again. Before that Sunday had passed, I had torn it up, never mailed it. I am so glad I didn't. Things have transpired since that would-be offense I would have created that have solved the problem. He didn't need my letter, and I didn't have the right to say what I was going to say in there because I'm sure I didn't know all the circumstances that surrounded his situation. Once again, I suppose you could say she saved my neck.

One of the benefits of having a married partner in life is that you have someone who, if they really love you and if you have the kind of open relationship, you rescue each other. I don't mean that in the psychological wrong sense of enabling another. That's not what I have in mind. I mean a genuine and wise rescue where if you didn't have your partner there to take you by the arm or to turn you in another direction and point elsewhere, you would deeply regret in the days to follow that you ever did or you ever said what you planned to do or to say.

In the story we are about to uncover from the pages of the Old Testament, we are going to meet a woman who literally, and I mean literally, saved her husband's neck. Had she not intervened, he would have been pushing up daisies long before he would have expected it. The chapter I have in mind is 1 Samuel 25. It's one of my favorite of all the Old Testament stories.

Let's think of it as a play, and let's think of the curtain opening and we are able to meet the three main characters of the play right away on stage right. These people come up front, and Scripture introduces them to us, one, two, three, in that order. First there's David, then there's a man named Nabal, and third there's a woman named Abigail. Meet David.

Then Samuel died and all Israel gathered together and mourned for him and buried him at his house in Ramah. And David arose and went down to the wilderness of Paran. Little historical brush stroke that means little if you don't understand the history of the Old Testament and I won't go deeply into it. Understand where we are in the passage.

David has been anointed king when he was a young boy. He was a teenager. Saul, whom David served faithfully, turned on the young king-elect, became envious, became jealous, attempted to take his life more than once, and David ran and became a fugitive. He was running as best I can figure it from 12 to 14, maybe 15 years. If you can imagine living haunted by the thought that Saul might find him and kill him.

But during those years of testing, David grew up. As a pastor friend of mine years ago used to say, that's when he learned to "king it." He learned what it meant to be a servant by living under the threatening blows of Saul. Well, David is now living in the wilderness of Paran. If you know your geography, you know that's the southernmost section before Sinai.

If you take Israel as a finger of land, you come to the very base of it, you find the wilderness of Paran and then beyond that to the south is the Sinai Desert, the Sinai Peninsula. Now what is interesting that you don't know from the first verse, but you will later on, is that David has just saved Saul's life at a place called En-gedi, chapter 24. So he's fresh off that heroic act where he could have retaliated, but he didn't.

He is now living with the 600 men that he met and trained in the Cave of Adullam. That's even earlier in this wonderful book of 1 Samuel. But he's turned these 600 discontents, malcontents, into a fighting force and they are sharp, capable warriors who live on the edge of trouble but under the restraint of David's leadership. Superb, heroic men.

A group of them become his all-time favorite heroes, and when he dies, he lists in his hall of fame some of these very men. That's beside the point. He and these 600 are now self-appointed watchers of the flocks. The flocks and the herds that graze in the wilderness of Paran would be victims of thievery or of wild beasts were it not for David and his troops, who have taken upon themselves the watch care of the flock.

Now this is all very important, it ties into the plot. Now the custom was that they would not bill the owner of the flock, but as you do with a bellboy or with a waitress or waiter at the table, the custom is you tip. It's an expression of appreciation for services rendered. If the services were indeed exceptional, you usually tip a little bit more. David's services along with his men are superb.

None of the flocks are hurt, none of them are taken by thieves, and so when sheep shearing time came, that would be the time for a remuneration to be given. An honorarium, if you please. Something that you don't bill for, but is a nice thing to give as an expression of gratitude. Since sheep shearing time would be the time that the owner would sell the wool and would get the money, that's when he would parcel it out and pay the people who had kept his flock or watched them.

Now so much for David and his police force in the wilderness of Paran. Now the next one. Verse two: meet Nabal. Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel and the man was very rich and he had 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. And it came about while he was shearing his sheep in Carmel, the man's name was Nabal and his wife's name was Abigail, et cetera, et cetera. Let me pause here and introduce you to Nabal.

First of all, his name. His name means churlish, foolish, not so much dull or stupid, but belligerent. How'd you like to have a name like that? Name means obstinate, insensitive, crude, rude. Nabal is sort of the Archie Bunker of the Old Testament. He is bigoted, he is stubborn, he is rigid, he is prejudiced, and he's a tightwad.

Aside from that, he was a fine man. Nabal is the husband of the woman you will fall in love with. She's the third one mentioned here. Her name is Abigail. We read in verse three, she was both intelligent and beautiful in appearance. The Old Testament is a beautiful book. Most of it is written in Hebrew as this passage is, and it really says beautiful in form, which includes not only face but figure.

She was a knockout. Let's just put it straight. She was a great-looking woman and she was bright. How she got stuck with a klutz like Nabal is anybody's guess. But it does happen. The woman was intelligent and beautiful in form, but the man was harsh and evil in his dealings, and he was a Calebite. Now let's stay here with Abigail for just a moment.

Here is this wonderful lady who you would pick out of a crowd as lovely in appearance, and you would visit with her for only minutes and discover she has a charming personality. She is able to converse on many subjects. She is delightful to be around. She's just sort of contagious with her charisma. How could she be married to Nabal?

More than likely, it was an appointed wedding. Probably the parents of both, when the children were younger, when little Nabal and little Abigail were just young children, the parents decided that it would be those two who would marry. Sometime it worked beautifully. In this case, it was a terrible marriage. But you wouldn't know it from Abigail. You wouldn't know it. Remarkable woman, as you will appreciate as the story unfolds.

She had everything going for her except the guy to whom she was married, and she has now lived with him apparently a number of years as a wife. Now the plot of the story unfolds as you anticipate about the time of sheep shearing. We read in verse two again, it came about while he was shearing his sheep in Carmel, then verse three is a parenthesis, so go to verse four.

While he was shearing his sheep in Carmel, David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep. Now David and his troops get wind of payday. They've been watching and they know by now that the sheep are being sheared and it's time for them to skim a little cream off the cup of Nabal. However, you can't help but appreciate the tactful way David went about this.

He didn't ride in with all 600 men and pull up the stallions and get off and threaten the guy with his life. Look at what he does. There's a quiet request for remuneration. Verse five: David sent ten young men, just ten. David said to the young men, "This is what you say. You go up to Carmel, visit Nabal and greet him in my name, and this is what you say: 'Have a long life. Shalom.

Shalom to you, shalom to your house, shalom to all you have. May the peace of our God rest upon all that you have.' There's no envy, there is no jealousy, you have the right to all that you enjoy." That's a genuine greeting of peace. And now add this: "I have heard that you have shearers. Now your shepherds have been with us and we have not insulted them, nor have they missed anything all the days they were in Carmel. Ask your young men and they will tell you."

"Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we have come on a festive day. This is a day that you will be enjoying the profit of your flock and of your herds. On this festive day, please give whatever you find at hand to your servants and to your son David." Now, I would say that is a very genuine, gracious bill.

I never get a bill like that from the water department or from the electric company. They never send, "Dear Mr. Swindoll, peace to your home, peace to your family." They just send a thing and it says "pay here, and if you don't by this date, we'll shut your water off." David doesn't do that. He says, "Whatever you feel is fair, we will take it with gratitude, peace be on you."

So these guys show up. Verse nine: David's young men came and spoke to Nabal according to all these words, just ten men. Quietly came and walked in and asked for an audience and presented him with this greeting and stood there and waited for the response from klutz. As he heard what they said, and verse ten: as expected, Nabal answered David's servants and said, "Who is David?

Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I've slaughtered for my shearers and give it to men whose origin I do not know?" In other words, "Get out of here. Get out of my face. We don't know who those people are."

So David's young men retraced their way and went back. Notice there's no fight, there's no argument, they just quietly leave and they came and they told David according to all these words. Now, while life is going on very simply at the ranch, out in the field, there is a minor earthquake that occurs. All David, you remember who is a man of war, a man of passion, all he needed to hear was this impudent answer from a thankless Nabal.

Now, remember this rash act that you're going to watch occur in the story is an act of the flesh. Rashness always is. The Spirit of God never acts rashly. Sometime quickly, but never rashly. He never leads us to do a rash anything. Those promptings come from the flesh, and you are going to watch the flesh in action.

What you are seeing in verse 13 is the mother of all retaliations, to quote a statement that you've heard. David said to his men, "Each of you gird on his sword." So each man girded on his sword, and David girded on his sword. I'm sure he thought, "I am not missing this. Been a long time since I've had the chance to kill somebody."

And he girded on his sword and about 400 men went up behind David, while 200 stayed with the baggage. He thought, "We don't need all of these troops. We'll wipe that camp out. Let's go." Coming down from the hills in the wilderness of Paran is this cloud of dust and the 400 and one guys with blood on their mind. Got it? David has one thing in mind: we are going to retaliate.

Now in the meanwhile, back at the ranch, there is a servant who isn't named who was privy to the conversation between Nabal and the men David sent. He slips into Abigail's presence. Notice he doesn't talk to Nabal. You can't talk to a man like Nabal. But you can talk to an Abigail. And verse 14 tells of this brief conversation.

One of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, "Behold, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master and he scorned them. Yet the men were very good to us and we were not insulted, nor did we miss anything as long as we went about with them while we were in the field. They were a wall to us both all night and all day, all the time we were with them tending the sheep." He'd been out in the field, he knew, he'd seen it firsthand.

He said, "Now therefore know and consider what you should do." For evil is... see, he saw their faces. A sensitive person can read faces. He saw in their faces the tightening of the lip, the frown, the eyes becoming a slit. He saw anger brewing in their minds and he knew when they got back home in the field that David would be on his way to retaliate.

And so he says, "Know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household, and he is such a worthless fellow, no one can speak to him." Isn't that a telling statement? Don't answer out loud, but do you live with a person like that? Were you raised by a dad like that or a mother?

Do you have a grown child, now an adult, at least in age, like that? Hardest thing in the world is you can't get through to them. You know before you even try to talk to them that they're not going to listen. They're going to turn you off and they've got a dozen reasons why what you say is wrong. Even though you have their good at heart, they're not even open to your warnings. The Nabals still live.

Guest (Male): Maybe you can think of someone in your life who's like Nabal. Keep listening because Chuck Swindoll has much more to say about this unsavory character. As the story unfolds, we'll see that Nabal was fortunate to have a courageous wife who was willing to intercede on his behalf.

You're listening to Insight for Living. Chuck titled today's message "Abigail: The Woman Who Saved Her Husband's Neck." It's just one of our studies in this popular series in which Chuck describes the Bible's often overlooked characters. Their complex stories of both triumph and failure made an enormous impact.

Who would imagine, for instance, that Abigail would come to her husband's aid when he was about to receive due retribution from David? To fully engage with this series of biographical sketches, Insight for Living has a great resource that lets you linger over each Bible character at your own pace. It's a spiral-bound workbook that uses a process that engages you and leaves room for making your own observations and recording your reflections.

Look for the searching the scripture study titled "Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives" at insight.org/offer. We're also excited to introduce something brand-new. It's called Guided by Grace, a beautifully designed magazine created just for you. Each colorful issue celebrates characteristics that define authentic Christian living: joy, leadership, generosity, and authenticity.

You'll find inspiring messages from Chuck, stories of God's transforming work around the world from Insight for Living pastors, plus devotionals to deepen your walk with the Lord. It's all designed to encourage you right where you are in your spiritual journey. Best of all, it's completely free, no cost, no obligation. To subscribe to the quarterly newsletter from Insight for Living called Guided by Grace, call us at 800-772-8888 or visit insight.org/guidedbygrace to request your free one-year subscription.

Let Guided by Grace become a trusted companion in your walk with God. Call 800-772-8888 or visit insight.org/guidedbygrace.

Guest (Male): I'm Bill Meyer. Chuck Swindoll continues to tell the dramatic story of Abigail, the woman who saved her husband's neck, Tuesday on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, "Abigail: The Woman Who Saved Her Husband's Neck," was copyrighted in 1991, 1992, 2001, 2006, 2012, and 2024, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2024 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.