Hope for the Cancer+ Journey Podcast

Debbie Taylor Williams: You are not alone on your cancer journey. Welcome to Hope for the Cancer Journey Podcast. I'm your host, Debbie Taylor Williams, a stage three lung cancer survivor. A cancer diagnosis is shocking and scary, but there is hope, as you'll hear from people's stories of their journey, tips for navigating the medical world, and the unwavering hope you can have in Christ. Let's walk this path together.

Thank you for joining me today! We are blessed to have Erin McKenzie as our guest. She has been married to Jeff for 18 years. She and Jeff both went to Baylor University. They have four children ages four to 16. Erin is going on her sixth year of homeschooling, which is very impressive. Before that, she taught U.S. history for 11 years. Erin, it is such a blessing to have you join us today! Thank you!

Erin McKenzie: I'm happy to be doing this. I feel like God has called me to use my voice. I may not ever write a book about my experiences, but I could see myself talking to crowds, large crowds about what I've been through.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Erin, you are talking to large crowds today, and I thank you so much. I'm so impressed by you. When I heard about your cancer journey from your mother-in-law, Rebecca McKenzie, who is also a guest on our podcast, she was actually the inspiration for beginning Hope for the Cancer Journey Podcast.

I had been diagnosed with cancer and was on my journey when I heard about Rebecca being diagnosed with breast cancer. I called her to check on her because I also had been praying for you. I'm not sure about all the timing of it, but Rebecca started pouring forth how God had shown up, not only for her and her journey but for you. If you would, take us back just a little bit to when you were first diagnosed and how that all came about because that must have been a shock.

Erin McKenzie: I would say that we weren't a busy family of four, but we were a very routined family of four with homeschool and sports. We were involved in a co-op, women's Bible study, and Awana's on Wednesday nights. We were not crazy chaotic busy, but just a very routined family.

It's interesting, we used a midwife with our fourth baby, and every time I had a visit with her, we would do a breast self-check. I continued to do that, and I actually found the lump myself. Not expecting it to be cancer, I said don't worry about it, but God told me this is going to be something and I'm going to take care of you. So I knew it was cancer.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Well, that definitely proves the importance of doing self-breast exams because that's how you discovered it in the first place. But you said that even then you felt like it was cancer and God said, "I'm going to take care of you"?

Erin McKenzie: Yes, ma'am. I can think of three times where, and we'll say the Holy Spirit, however you want to look at it, I heard, "This is going to be something, but I am going to take care of you."

Debbie Taylor Williams: Erin, thank you for describing that because you said you heard the Holy Spirit. If we're Christian, we are given that wonderful gift of not just having our spirit, but also having God's Holy Spirit in us. The scripture explains he does guide us, he speaks to us, he leads us. It's not an audible voice, but it's a way that he communicates with us. Tell us what happened after you found that lump in your breast.

Erin McKenzie: Our youngest was 18 months old when I got my breast cancer diagnosis. He was still a baby. We got into MD Anderson within a week's time, which is a total God thing. I had a cancer diagnosis on one Tuesday, and the following Tuesday and Wednesday I was seeing the team of oncologists that were going to take care of me.

I'm a super practical, logical person. I'm a doer. I just wanted to get things started so I could get back to my life. It was a huge blessing that I never had to wait. It was just boom, boom, boom, boom. We got in middle of December, I started chemotherapy the first week of January, was finished by May, doing radiation in July. My first major surgery was August, which is when Jasper had his emergency brain surgery.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Now, that's a whole other story that our listeners are not even going to believe you experienced. Having a baby is enough, and then finding a lump, being diagnosed, and going to MD Anderson. Tell us about what happened with your son.

Erin McKenzie: I think what makes my story so unique is that I don't just have a breast cancer story anymore. I've got two cancer diagnoses and smack dab in the middle, our little two-year-old goes unconscious and is flown to Texas Children's and has a life-saving brain surgery. God just took care of everything with that, too.

He had been sick off and on for a couple of weeks, and I kept taking him back to the doctor. One final time before I took him to the doctor, they said take him over to the emergency room so they could run a bunch of tests. They didn't find anything, but they did admit him to the hospital. In the hospital, he was given so many fluids that his brain swelled and he went unconscious or unresponsive. That's when we swung into action and Texas Children's came into the picture. My two oncologists said that in the history of their practice, they had never had to cancel a surgery.

Debbie Taylor Williams: To think that you had had that scheduled and that OR reserved for six months? And then that day before Jasper has to be flown to Texas Children's and your surgery canceled?

Erin McKenzie: Yes, it was my big 10-hour surgery. I was supposed to have a mastectomy and reconstruction all together, and we had to scrap that and go to Plan B.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I just can't believe that, Erin. Could you describe for us what was going on in your heart and your mind? Did you even have time to think about questions for God? I know you wait for that date for when you're finally going to have your surgery to have that cancer removed, and you build up toward that date. Were you fearful that you were having to have your surgery postponed?

Erin McKenzie: I honestly never thought about it until the doctor said, "Okay, we can only let you have a couple of weeks. There's a timing to this and you have to get into surgery." I do remember thinking during the 66 days he was at the hospital, I don't remember praying a lot because I knew that tens of thousands of people were doing all the praying that I could not do. It was so physically and mentally exhausting that I just said, "God, others will pray for me and you know my heart anyway."

Debbie Taylor Williams: Erin, of course, your heart was for Jasper to get well and for you to be able to go forward with your treatment. You said that you knew tens of thousands were praying for you. Just knowing that you had so many people praying for you was obviously a source of comfort.

Erin McKenzie: It was. What's even neater is after the fact, a lady came up to me at church and she said, "I have grown closer to the Lord because I have been in prayer for you and Jasper so much. I spend more time with the Lord now than I ever have." I just thought, okay, that's going to be one of my new prayers, that people grow closer to the Lord while they're in prayer for me.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I had a podcast interview with my sister, Linda, and she said her first reaction after hearing that I had lung cancer was that there was nothing she could do. Then she realized she could pray. Your testimony really speaks to the fact that prayer is an action that somebody can do. It's part of our healing journey because God hears those multitudes of prayers and he responds to them.

Erin McKenzie: Our preacher's wife's comment was, "We are going to annoy God with our prayers, that's how much we're going to pray." I just loved that she said that.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I love that too. We're going to annoy God because we're going to pray so much. I believe there is something scriptural about that. Erin, tell us what happened after Jasper got well. Is he okay now?

Erin McKenzie: Yes, ma'am. He's in speech therapy and physical therapy, but if you didn't see the giant scar on his head, you would never know.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I did see the scar because your mother-in-law, Rebecca, shared with me the video that you did. That is so touching. Finish telling us about your cancer journey.

Erin McKenzie: Well, after breast cancer and after Jasper, when life starts to resemble something normal again, I find out that I have therapy-related leukemia.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I can't imagine.

Erin McKenzie: I couldn't imagine either. I had been feeling really well. I had finally gotten back into an exercise routine. I was eating right and I felt great. But my white cell count was very low and it stayed low.

I was referred to a benign hematologist, and when I saw her, I saw concern on a doctor's face for the first time. I knew something was probably not going to be good. I saw her on a Thursday, and on Friday I went to a biopsy. Before I came out of the biopsy, they had called Jeff, my husband, and told him to bring me downstairs because I would be admitted to the leukemia floor. I had to go through the acute care center. I come out from this biopsy and he is in tears. I knew something was wrong, but I never cried. I just was in disbelief.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I can see why you would be in disbelief. You just went through a very difficult journey with your breast cancer, you've just been through a traumatic experience with your son's life, and now to be told that on top of all of that, you have leukemia. Jeff is there waiting for you with tears. It's unbelievable. Did you ever just think or shout out "Why, God?" Did you ever become angry at God? How did you process being told you have leukemia?

Erin McKenzie: I'm not someone that questions God and I don't get angry because he is sovereign and I am not. This is another funny little tidbit of the story. On Thursday when I saw the benign hematologist, I happened to be in a waiting room talking to some other women and I laughed and told them that I was one of God's favorites because I give him glory and I'm always positive. He just keeps giving me these hard things.

I thought to myself the next day, you know, I kind of wish I hadn't said that because I wanted to be on the mountaintop a little bit longer and not have to go into the valley again.

Debbie Taylor Williams: In our human nature, we would say you deserve to be on the hilltop rather than being plunged into the valley again. But Erin, that's just remarkable to hear you say that you don't question God and you aren't angry at God. I have to just pause for a moment because we do hear and we know it can be normal for someone to question God and say why or how. Those feelings are very legitimate. Did you come to know Jesus at an early age where you grew to have this great faith?

Erin McKenzie: I came to know the Lord when I was about six years old, but it wasn't until I was 28 years old that I said, "Okay, Lord, I fully surrender my life to you." That was through hardship. I came to that point of, "Lord, you're Lord of my life, you're not just my savior."

Debbie Taylor Williams: And there is a big difference, isn't there, between believing in Jesus and then one day saying, "I can't do life, you've got to be Lord. You've got to be in control of my life."

Erin McKenzie: Yes, knowing that he's going to take care of me and he takes care of the little things and the big things.

Debbie Taylor Williams: So let's pick back up. We want to know what happened after you received this leukemia diagnosis. Jeff is there with tears in his eyes. You would have loved to have stayed on that hilltop longer, but what happened next?

Erin McKenzie: A lot of people probably don't realize that at MD Anderson with an AML diagnosis, your first round of chemo is 30 days inpatient. That's a long time, especially when you're a mom and you're used to being at home, used to cooking your own meals, and have kids to take care of. So I had 30 days inpatient at MD Anderson to get me into remission.

Then I had to have two more cycles of chemo to keep me in remission while I waited for my stem cell transplant. God had to work out a million details to get that lined up. You would not believe what it entails to have a stem cell transplant. Then I went home, and I would go back and go inpatient again for four or five days for chemo. Then I'd come home, then I'd go back and be inpatient again for chemo for four or five days.

Debbie Taylor Williams: How were you physically feeling during that time period? I can't imagine you being anything but drained and weak.

Erin McKenzie: I was always in good health. People would come into my room and say, "Where's the patient?"

Debbie Taylor Williams: My goodness, so God blessed you with strength and stamina.

Erin McKenzie: Yes, ma'am. That's why I say he may ask me to do hard things, but he gives me the best-case scenario. He strengthens me and takes care of me.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I know that is encouraging for friends who are listening to hear that God gave you the strength. He gave you the courage. Tell us the rest of your journey.

Erin McKenzie: I had my stem cell transplant in the middle of March. My husband dropped me off at the end of February, and I was back inpatient. I was supposed to be there 30 days. God blessed me, my stem cell transplant took quickly, and I was out in 23 days instead of the 30 that's expected.

Debbie Taylor Williams: So you finished seven days earlier than expected?

Erin McKenzie: Yes, ma'am. It's all based on your white cell count, and my white cell count went from 0.5 to 11 in one day. Like I keep saying, the Lord just heard my prayers. There are tons of people praying, but the Lord also heard my prayers. I spent a lot of quiet moments in that hospital room, and it was just me and the Lord and we just lingered in each other's presence. I prayed, and I know he listened. It was a neat time, even though I was miserable being in the hospital.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Erin, your testimony is so inspiring. Do you mind me asking how old you are?

Erin McKenzie: I'm 44.

Debbie Taylor Williams: So you had all this going on in your early 40s with four children at home. A loving husband, a praying church. As you said before, you relied on the tens of thousands to pray, but in this last experience, you used the words "lingering together with the Lord."

Erin McKenzie: Yes, ma'am. I got that word while I was driving down the road one day and I thought, you know, I've heard of abiding in his presence, but I just want to linger there. I just want to linger in your presence.

Debbie Taylor Williams: I love as you said the word abiding, because I've heard Tony Evans refer to that as hanging out. But lingering in his presence really gives you the visual of wherever he's going, whatever he's doing, you just kind of want to be by his side. You want to feel his presence, you want to hear his voice. You feel safe lingering in his presence. That is certainly encouraging.

Before we have to go, tell us how you're doing now, the latest update, as well as any final words you would like all of us to hear. Where are you now and how can we be praying for you as you go forward?

Erin McKenzie: Medically speaking, the leukemia is in remission. I'm on maintenance drugs and I have appointments every few weeks for labs and check-ups. It'll be like that for a couple of years. After a stem cell transplant the leukemia can come back. If anyone wants to pray, I would just ask for prayers that my leukemia would not return. I want this to be something I can look at in the rearview mirror as part of my past and not my entire future. I want to be healed this side of heaven to raise my kids.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Yes, we will pray for you. I want to pray for you right now, and I invite our listeners to pray also. Father, you heard Erin's heart prayer. Lord, we know you're listening, and Jesus, we give you praise for how you have sustained her and her dear husband and those children. Lord, we acknowledge you as the miracle worker. You've created our bodies so finely tuned and you've given doctors wisdom to be able to treat us.

Oh, Lord, all of us, every single listener, every single person who ever hears this podcast, we are being a chorus and a continued chorus of your children calling out with a reminder: please help Erin be healthy. Please don't let her leukemia return. Please override anything in her body that would bring her down and let her life be a living testimony of victory, of you God bringing her total and complete healing on this side of heaven. We love you and we thank you because we know you hear our prayers and we trust you regardless of the answers, but you tell us to ask. And so we're asking in Jesus' name and for your glory, Lord. Amen.

Erin, any final word of encouragement that you want to give anyone who might be listening?

Erin McKenzie: Yes, don't be afraid of the trials and hard times. I tell people we have had three major medical crises in three years. There's an intimacy with the Lord that I feel like you can only have when you're in a trial or when there's problems and chaos in your life. That intimacy is beautiful and it's just hard to achieve if you're cruising along and life is always good.

Don't be afraid of those trials. The Lord will strengthen you, he'll carry you, and he'll take care of you, but just linger in his presence. Read the Bible, get in the Psalms, and listen to hymns. I listen to a lot of sermons. My point is to linger in his presence.

Debbie Taylor Williams: Erin, thank you. You are a beautiful woman of God. As I've kept up with you and our church has prayed for you, I've been impressed by your faith walk and by your stamina, knowing that you got your strength from the Lord. I also feel very compassionate towards you. It is just a beautiful thing that you have taken the time to visit with us today so that the story is not just your story, but a story shared with those who need it. Thank you, dear Erin. We love you and we appreciate you.

Erin McKenzie: Thank you. My mother-in-law has always had glowing words for you, so I was happy to get the chance to talk one-on-one.

Debbie Taylor Williams: The community of Christians is a very sweet experience. We invite any of you who might be listening today, if you do not know what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, or if you don't have a Bible, we can help you get one. We want to help you not just have hope for the journey on this side of heaven, but we want you to have hope for the journey after you pass away.

At some point, we will all need divine healing, and that only comes when we pass from this life into eternity. So if you're not sure of your salvation and where you will be after you die, we'll provide those links for you.

For our listeners, please subscribe and share this episode. It could be the exact message someone needs today. Thank you for listening and keep looking up as you take hold of the hope you have in Christ. And remember, Psalm 39:7: "And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."