His Perfect Love

Guest (Male): Today on His Perfect Love, the blessing of intimacy in marriage. This is His Perfect Love. The word of God. It's what real love looks like in truth and prayer. This is His Perfect Love.

Hi there, and welcome. Here on His Perfect Love, we open the word each day with Pastor Matt VanderVen. Today we return to the Song of Solomon. And after the wedding day in Chapter 3, we're now ready for the honeymoon in Chapter 4. It speaks rather openly about sexual intimacy and describes the joy of a honeymoon.

Pastor Matt will stress the importance of saving physical intimacy for marriage. When you do, it can be a true blessing. Parents, be advised, the following may not be suitable for young children.

Matt VanderVen: She's madly in love with him. He's madly in love. They don't see a blemish. If men and women can do that, how much more God, the King of kings, who can choose to see or not see, to forgive and wash and cleanse and make white as snow without a blemish? That is how God sees you.

The work of salvation and sanctification is done by the same God. It's not like we get saved—yes, we get saved in a moment and salvation, in a twinkling of an eye, you might say, quick. We ask Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior, I receive you, it happens fairly quickly.

But sanctification is a lifetime. But even though it's a lifetime, it is the same God who ushers it and brings it. But the reality is, when you receive Jesus Christ, you're washed. Yes, you still may struggle with sin. I've heard preachers out there and people say over the years—you walk with Christ for more than 20 years, you've heard all kinds of things in Christendom.

I've heard, "Well, the reason you don't sin anymore is because you have a different heart for not sinning now." And so what are you saying? I have two hearts? Because I know I'm filthy rags like Paul was filthy rags. So you're trying to say we have two hearts? No. Why are you complicating what Jesus Christ said and made so beautiful?

And that is that He who did that good work will finish that good work. And it's perfected when you get with Him in heaven; you will be perfected then. But the beauty of it is, He already did the work. Even though you are still struggling, I still struggle with our sin, God doesn't see it that way. He sees us forgiven.

Every single human being is going to stand, and either they're going to stand on their merit or they're going to stand on Christ's merit. That's the equation. That's the courtroom judgment that's going to happen. It's not going to be a confession of, "Okay, I get up there, Lord. Well, forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned." Some of you grew up in a denomination like that.

Okay, go say 10 penance, do this, do that. I won't be any more graphic than that as not to offend anybody. But you understand where I'm going with that. "Do this, do that." No, when you, as a born-again believer, when you get to heaven, this is not going to be a time—we read nothing of that in the Scripture—of like the lake of fire or anything like that. That's for the unbeliever.

There is a Bema seat judgment for the believer, it teaches in Scripture. And what is a Bema seat? It's a rewards banquet for all of the things that you did in Christ Jesus. And so it's not going to be a moment of condemnation when you get up there. It's not going to be like, "Hey, Matt, I know you were pretty lazy when you didn't..."

It's not going to be like that. You're going to see Jesus, you're going to weep, fall to His feet, start kissing Him, loving Him. He's going to be loving you. And He's going to turn around and we're all going to go to this Bema seat judgment. And He's going to say, "Oh, when you did this in my name..."

And you're going to be like, "I don't remember doing that." Or when you fed this person, or when you got a drink of cold water, or you prayed with this person, or you were standing in the gap with me. And there's going to come a point where you're going to be like, "Well, Jesus, did I do anything on my own?" Oh, no. Oh, no.

And that's the point. Because then He gets all the glory. And that's what's so beautiful about this. Because I love this verse right here: "You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot on you or in you." If a human being can do that, how much more your Savior, Jesus Christ?

So if you're sitting here tonight and you are wrestling with your sin, first of all, lay it down before Christ, repent and be right and walk with Him in right, just like a right marriage, you want to do that. But the second thing is, if you're turning around and you're wrestling with the insecurity of am I white as snow? I can assure you this evening, you are washed. According to the word of God, you are washed and you are without blemish already.

Isn't that beautiful? Because that's what your bridegroom has done for you. That's what your bridegroom—that's why He kept the illustration of marriage for us. It's beautiful. He's a perfect covering, isn't He?

"Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse." So he's talking to her, he's basically, "Come with." "With me from Lebanon, look from the top of Amana," that's the northern part of Israel by Lebanon there. "From the top of Senir and Hermon, from the lions' den, from the mountains of the leopards." So what do we know this as? This is the leaving and cleaving, right? A new life coming for her. A new life for the born-again Christian too.

"You have ravished my heart." Look how he praises her with love. "You ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace. How fair is your love, my sister, my spouse! How much better than wine," remember joy, the joy of your love, "and the scent of your perfume than all the spices! Your lips, oh my spouse, they drip as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue."

How do you think he knows that? Because they were intimate, they've been kissing. He's saying that you are sweet and delicious. That's what he's saying here. Now, please don't be shy or ashamed or bashful about that if you're a husband and wife. That's not what God wants you to do.

This is holy. God established this. This is holy. We don't need to shy away from this here. This is holy. He says, "And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon." So what are we getting the idea here that Solomon's helping us, the Holy Spirit has maintained it for us? The idea here is all the senses are coming intact, alive.

You've got the touch—well, even before that, you've got his eyes, so the seeing, the senses of eyesight, seeing. And then he had touch. He turned around and had taste, honey, kissing, different things like that, honey and stuff. He also talked about the smells and the fragrance, engaging all the senses.

That's why I really believe when we get to heaven, I don't think our senses are going to be deadened or dull. I think they're going to be just literally like on steroids. Because there's nothing to indicate in the marriage ceremony that God does anything to our senses to deaden them. Why do we think that when we get to heaven, where we're with our bridegroom at the wedding feast of the Lamb, He even calls it that, that all of a sudden our senses are going to be deadened in some way?

No, we're going to be spiritually so alive and experiencing so many beautiful things. I mean, the colors, the imagery, the smells, all of it, I expect it to be very beautiful, very beautiful. Look at Verse 12. Now, this is beautiful too in this passage because this is going to be a praise of purity. He's now going to go in and start to talk about her purity and just opening up to her on her beauty and how they're going to grow together in some ways.

"A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed." I think everybody here—maybe I don't want to make that assumption—this is certainly poetic. And what he's talking about here is her virginity. And he is exclaiming that he is so thankful that she kept herself pure. The greatest thing that she could do was present to her husband this purity as a gift on wedding night.

Now, this is not saying that—look, let's—there's young people in a—if there's been a situation where you were young, you weren't saved, you didn't know—please understand, God can make all things new. Don't go into your wedding and go, "Oh man, it's ruined for ever now. Why even get married?" No, no, no. Do you think that the God of miracles can't turn around and restore and heal and make new? Of course He can. Of course He can.

But His design, His desire is that one man and one woman would keep themselves until marriage and then present each other with that beautiful gift. And that's exactly what he's praising her for. "A garden enclosed," talking about virginity, "is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits; fragrant henna and spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, with all the chief spices. A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and the streams from Lebanon."

So just like many, he finds pleasure being intimate with her. That's what he's describing at that point. He's now actually being physically intimate. He's engaging in this sexual intercourse; he's being intimate with her at that point in Verses 14 and 15. He's describing it in all of these ways through, at that time, what would be fragrances and cinnamon and herbs and these beautiful things.

The closest thing I can relate that to is probably some of you, or many of you, like to garden in here. And some of you like to spend time in your garden. You find it to be very peaceful, very relaxing to be out in the garden and spending time and working with your hands and doing those things. That's effectively what he's creating poetically for us here, this idea.

That just like someone would find an enjoyment being in your garden, working in the garden, likewise, Solomon is finding enjoyment being with his wife in a very intimate way that he only knows with her and she only knows with him. Now, the Shulamite, okay, she's now going to talk. And this is sort of beautiful here. It's a consummation, as I mentioned, of the marriage.

Verse 16: "Awake, oh north wind, and come, oh south! Blow upon my garden, that its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat his pleasant fruits." What is she speaking about? I think we want to keep it PG, but I think we all understand here what she's saying. Out of her is coming forth the things, and she's speaking about just her body and the beauty of the consummation to the point of the marriage.

And again, nothing shameful about this. God has this level of detail there, this level of beauty here that we should see. And it is beautiful to God. Lest we forget that God ordained marriage pre-fall. Marriage didn't come after the fall; marriage was before the fall. And last I checked in Genesis, God said pre-fall that it was very good.

So marriage is good. It can be good if done God's way. And so there's just these beautiful pleasantries happening here. Their first time of intimacy, the whole thing coming forth, the climatic aspect of it all. And then it goes into Chapter 5 here. "I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse," Solomon speaking in.

"I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk." Joy, right? What's he talking about? All those things in the ancient would have been luxuries. Every one of those: myrrh, spices, honeycomb, wine. Those are all luxury items.

So what is he saying? That basically he has been able to partake of what he is saying is greater and better than anything you can get on earth. He is basically saying compared to all the luxuries that life can offer, this woman and what she has done together, them together, has been more beautiful than anything he could relate to this material world.

And once again, ladies, I'll point you back, and men, I'll point you back to Jesus. If you think this is good, and it is, how much more so when you partake of Jesus Christ and the holiness, the perfection, the enjoyment. Think about the first time you see Him and you give Him a holy kiss. What is that going to be like? When you come up to Him and you kiss Him and you worship Him and He holds you in His arms ever so tender and dear? And all of everything you've ever wanted, your heart is just going to be like, "Finally. I've longed my whole existence for something like this, and now I have it."

And I often think of those that we love that have passed on and gone before us; they're enjoying that right now. How awesome is that? They wouldn't trade places with us for anything because they're with Jesus and they're in such a beautiful place. They're like, "I love you and I know how it's going to work out, so I'll see you when I see you." Because they're with the Lord Jesus; they love it. Just beautiful, so much more pointing to that.

Okay, now to his friends. One of the few times Solomon actually goes and talks to the guys. He speaks to his friends, actually endorsing marriage. It's wonderful when people extol the beauty and the attributes of marriage. He says—and just, I mean, think about this young people, please—he says, "Eat, oh friends! Drink, yes, drink deeply, oh beloved ones!"

He's saying partake. Today that's a really important message because I think as we're living and we're seeing the younger generations, a lot of times—sometimes not of their own doing, they're just waiting on God—but sometimes I think so many of this generation, they don't want to get married. They're actually like, "I'd like to wait till 30 or even older; I just don't want to get married when I'm young."

And again, sometimes it's because they're waiting on the Lord, and praise the Lord for that. You don't want it any other way. But sometimes it's because they're like, "Well, why do I have to get married? I can sample the milk, I can turn around and do—what's the point, right?" And no. No, marriage is so much more than that. So much more than that.

I mean, if we were given the gift of marriage, that familiar bond that God wants us to have with another person isn't something we should, out of fear or out of any other reason, look to escape from. Instead, we should be looking to be drawn to that if we have the gift of marriage. We've been given the gift of marriage by God.

It's okay and we shouldn't worry about, "Well, I don't have enough money." Friends, I'm going to tell you right now, nobody ever does. I mean, really, you could look at the whole sanctuary here; I guarantee of all of us that are married or have been married, every one of us would tell you the same thing: we never thought we had enough money. "Oh, and well, we can't have kids yet because we don't..." Let me tell you, you're never going to have money when you have kids. It doesn't ever change. It just multiplies.

And if you don't have kids, you've got animals. It's something. I mean, it doesn't—you never get to the point where you're like, "I have enough and now I should..." No, it's never—you never get to that place. It's amazing because it is frightening, but it's the best frightening ever.

I've shared that story I think with you guys in the past. I remember when Lisa and I got married, I talked to you about the cheeseburger we were on our honeymoon, I was bawling. And we came home from the honeymoon, okay, we're okay, we're going to live, we're going to go up and live in Rockland County, that's right outside—because I worked in Manhattan. So outside of Rockland County, so we go up to live there and we're going to buy a house.

And I saved some money, so we put the money down and bought our first home. And I remember just getting in the home and Parker was—because it was about eight months later, so yeah, Parker wasn't even born yet. And I remember thinking, okay, we're going to have a home, he'll come up, he'll grow up. And it was a small first starter home, not a very big home, very just small but lovely. Built into the side of a rock, just simple and lovely.

And I remember just going to the closing. I never closed on anything before like that and I think I was 24, 25 when I bought our first house. And I remember signing the paperwork and then they give you the keys and I'm like, "I can go now? Like, we're good?" And they're like, "You're good."

And I remember taking Lisa and we got to the house and I'm still like, "I don't know about this. We should change the locks." But because you get inside and I remember we didn't have any furniture. I mean, we had a couch, I think that was it from my apartment kind of thing.

And I remember just sitting down on the floor. And what I didn't know is her father had slipped her a $50 bill or a $20 bill or something like that. And so that night, we're like, "You know," because we're foolish, what should we have done with that money? Gone to the grocery store, bought chicken and cooked. But we don't know what we're doing. What do we do? We order a pizza.

So we go out and pick up the pizza, right? We come and we sit down, and we're literally just sitting on the dining room on the floor. We just put the pizza box, she's sitting there, I'm sitting there, and I just remember like, "This is what it's like. This is so cool. I have no idea what I'm doing."

And I just—it was amazing. So please don't run from that because you're fearful of not having enough money or not having enough wherewithal. We never do. It doesn't matter. What matters is you find your love. You find the one that God is directing you to. And that's just so beautiful.

Well, I think I'm going to stop there for tonight for our time and we'll come back and we'll spend more. But man alive, guys, how beautiful is this? Right, guys? Like Song of Solomon, right? You probably thought, okay, I'm coming, my wife has me, we're coming to study, and I'm looking out and your wife—I'm sitting here looking at you going, "Good study, right, guys?" And you're looking at her.

But really, guys, you—maybe some of you have never really read through the Song of Solomon and you're thinking, "Wow, this is amazing. This is what marriage is supposed to be like?" Yes.

And ladies, you're here tonight and you're like, "That is not like any marriage I have ever seen." My kids would probably be like, "Dad, mom and dad, that is not—no. You blew it." It's like, okay. But that is God's standard. When you look at marriage and you're reading the Song of Solomon, isn't this beautiful God's standard? So much higher than ours, so much better than ours.

I pray that everybody desires a biblical marriage like this. And young people wait on it. And people that are getting married in their 60s and 70s because the Lord has given you a new season, find that right person, don't rush in. I know you might be going, "But my time clock." Look, none of that matters when you're in the Lord; it's beautiful when it's done right.

So I just really want to encourage everybody that way. And for those again that are either widowed or maybe you're sitting here and you're not married, or you're young and you're in the college career and you're just, "Okay, Lord, I desire marriage, but the Lord, you haven't brought anybody yet." Just remember that: yet. God will. God didn't forget about you. He didn't forget the gift He gave you of marriage. God's timing is perfect every single time. And many times He will tell you to wait.

And I know it's difficult, young people. I know it is. We've all been there. But it's worth it. Every one of us would tell you the same thing: it is worth it to wait for your soulmate, the person that God has brought into your life, whether it's for a day or for 60 years, to have that and to know that you've lived. You've lived.

Guest (Male): Well, thanks for joining us today for His Perfect Love. You can hear this study from Pastor Matt VanderVen again when you visit hisperfectlove.org. There are four messages in the Song of Solomon series. Catch up what you may have missed at hisperfectlove.org. Look for us on onepace.com and most of the major podcast players.

The Calvary Chapel Harrisburg mobile app is another great way to listen to Pastor Matt's messages shortly after they're delivered. We can help you get started when you visit hisperfectlove.org. His Perfect Love is listener-supported. It's listeners like you that help us bring the truths of God's word to the radio every day.

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Are you looking for a Christian school that offers a quality education and a nurturing environment for your children? If so, you might be interested in Calvary Chapel Christian Academy, a ministry of Calvary Chapel Harrisburg West Shore. Calvary Chapel Christian Academy is a non-denominational Christian school that serves students from kindergarten to 12th grade.

The academy's mission is to provide a Christ-centered education that equips students to love God, love others, and serve the world. The academy offers a rigorous academic curriculum, a variety of extracurricular activities, and a caring and supportive staff. The academy is located at 28 North Locust Point Road in Mechanicsburg, PA. For more information, please visit our website at ccharrisburg.org/academy. That's ccharrisburg.org/academy. Well, put a bookmark here in the Song of Solomon and join us next time for His Perfect Love with Pastor Matt VanderVen. God bless.

His Perfect Love is brought to you by Calvary Chapel Harrisburg West Shore. Let the word go out, the perfect love of Christ to shine. Our lives will shout, I am my beloved's and he is mine. Every heart is in His hands, we'll never stop reaching out. This is His perfect love. The word of God. This is what real love looks like in truth and prayer. This is His perfect love.