Guidelines For Living

Guest (Male): Take a break from your busy schedule and join Harold Sala for Guidelines for Living.

Harold Sala: If I could write a prescription for the women of the world, wrote psychologist Dr. James Dobson, it would provide each of them with a healthy dose of self-esteem and personal worth. I have no doubt, he said, that this is their greatest need. Question: Is the same also true of men? I for one believe it is. What people need today is a good dose of self-esteem, and that is a great deal different from ego or pride.

Now you may consider this to be academic, but I'm convinced there is a lot of difference between self-love and the love of self. Self-love is your knowledge of the fact you are a person of value and worth, made in the image of God, and without this you can't function adequately. That is totally different from being in love with yourself or pride, which Jesus condemned.

Whenever I meet a person who is always putting himself or herself down, making remarks that tell me the person doesn't think he or she is as good as most people, I see an unhappy individual who doesn't function very well in life. Knowing who you are, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, allows you to maximize your effectiveness and realize your potential as a human being, accomplishing what God intended.

It's what Paul was driving at when he wrote: "Don't think of yourself more highly than you ought to, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment." This makes you understand your need to let God work through your life and gives you freedom to be yourself. In his ministry, Jesus recognized the value of the individual when he said: "You ought to love your neighbor as yourself."

He never went around saying, "I'm not baptizing nearly as many people as John is," or suggested that the woman at the well find a good counselor to break through her obsessive-compulsive behavior. He treated people as individuals of value and worth, which is part of what enabled them to accept his direction in their lives. On occasions, Jesus walked long distances to talk with only one person—someone whom society would not consider to be very important.

We've got to learn that many of the expectations that are thrust on us today are society's, not God's. The woman who is constantly comparing herself with others, saying, "I'm not as beautiful or as lovely as so-and-so," hasn't recognized the fact God made her an individual, a unique person, different from all the other women in the world.

No one in all the world sees with your eyes or feels with your emotions or experiences what you do. You're one of a kind, an original without duplication. Insight: To be the person that you can be, you must rid yourself of feelings that you don't measure up to your dad's expectations or what the culture expects of you, and say, "God, I want to be all that you want me to be. Nothing more, nothing less. So here I am. Fill me with yourself. Let me be the person you want me to be."

Shortly before his death, the English poet E. E. Cummings wrote to a high school student and said: "To be nobody but myself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you everybody else means the hardest battle any human can fight and never stop fighting." It is time to turn your back on the images and the stereotypes which confront us on television, in newsstand publications, and bombard us in society, and turn on to authentic being, reality, and genuineness.

When you're at peace with yourself, you can make peace with those who trouble you, and that is very important.

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