Focus on the Family

Conclusion: In a study on controlling your tongue, the focus should not only be on what you shouldn't say, but on what you should say. Finding 30 ways to be more positive, as Deborah Pegue suggests, will lead to improvement in every area of your life.

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Deborah Pegue: Whenever you can encourage rather than criticize, and I think that is just so critical because it impacts other people's progress. When you read the story of Miriam in the Bible where they criticized Moses and then God struck her with leprosy, the whole place came to a standstill. They couldn't move. Nobody could move forward. And I say that's a lesson there, because when you are critical like that, it really impedes other people's progress.

John Fuller: Well, Deborah Pegue joins us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and she's going to be talking about how your words reveal your heart. I'm John Fuller.

Jim Daly: You know, John, have you ever said something that as the words are coming out, you're wishing, hoping that you could get them back in?

John Fuller: Far too many times.

Jim Daly: It's kind of a trick question, right? I remember doing a devotional with Trent and Troy when they were younger, and I squeezed out toothpaste and then said, "Now put it back in the tube." Of course, you can't. You could get a little back in there, but you can't do it. And that's the whole point of the devotional. Once you say something, it's impossible to put it back in the tube.

And it was, I think, a pretty impactful little devotional. But today we want to talk about how to curb what we say and how we say it, so our words reflect Christ. You don't have to worry about getting it back in the tube if you're reflecting the words of Jesus, right? Compassion and good questions, being interested in somebody, sincere, loving, kind, all the fruit of the spirit.

The Bible tells us to do everything without complaining or arguing. Just that one command could take a lifetime to master. That's my experience, because it isn't really about the tongue, it's about the heart. As the scriptures say, "From the heart, the tongue speaks." And we need to be mindful as Christians about those things.

Here's the hope. With God's help and the Holy Spirit's guidance, we can grow in this area. We can learn to pause, to take our thoughts captive, and to bless instead of wound. And here at Focus on the Family, we want to work on that, and we're assuming you too, as a believer in Christ, will want to work on that. So we're going to cover this today with our great friend and guest, Deborah Pegue.

John Fuller: Yeah, she is one of our most popular guests. We always love having her back here. She spent many years as a leader in the corporate world. She's a CPA, a certified behavioral consultant, a Bible teacher, international speaker, and has written a number of books, including *30 Days to Taming Your Tongue: What You Say and Don't Say Will Improve Your Relationships*, which is really the topic for the conversation today.

You can learn more about the book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And Jim, we're going to pick it up as you asked Deborah about why taming the tongue is so important.

Jim Daly: Why do you think people have resonated with your message?

Deborah Pegue: Well first of all, I think it's because God took a mess and turned it into a message because I wrote the book because I messed up. I mean, it was an accidental book, but I don't like to use that word accidental when I'm talking about the things of God. So I'm going to say it's a providential book. But I really messed up and told something I wasn't supposed to tell.

And I wasn't being indiscreet. I was just trying to rescue somebody. And so it backfired. I was trying to help somebody out, blah, blah, blah. It backfired, and she was so upset with me. I decided to go on a tongue fast myself. I'm going to put myself on a plan for 30 days and I'm not going to say anything negative. Now, just try that, all right?

Jim Daly: So this was for you in the end.

Deborah Pegue: It was a personal project for me only.

Jim Daly: I appreciate that vulnerability, because a lot of people would say, "Yeah, I wrote it for a friend."

Deborah Pegue: No, I wrote it for me. And people kept and I would put signs in my office at work. It would say "tongue fast." That means when you come in here, don't discuss anything negative. I'm on a tongue fast. If people started to be negative, I'd say, "I can't discuss that." And so somebody said, "I believe God wants you to write a book." "No, I believe God wants me to work on me."

Jim Daly: Okay, and this really is capturing that journey and what you did. Now, why are we so broadly, why are we all so affected with tongue problems? I mean, it's so natural for us in our flesh to lash out, to say things we regret. Why?

Deborah Pegue: Because we are human and also because we're not created carbon copies of each other. And so we don't always know other people's sensitivities. You may jokingly say something about my dark skin. You may not know that I am just like, "Oh, don't say that." Or whatever. You just never know what people's sensitivities are. And so you're bound to offend somebody.

Jim Daly: Yeah. Even though you're challenging us for 30 days, you started to say just try it for 24 hours. I want you to finish that challenge because I think you're going to say it's hard.

Deborah Pegue: I was going to say that at the end, but I'll say it now because don't think you can do all 30 of these tongues that I've listed in the book. I have 30 negative uses of the tongue.

Jim Daly: So it's one for each day.

Deborah Pegue: Just try one a day or just try one a week. Yeah. Just, for instance, if you have trouble telling the whole truth, you tend to tell half the truth, just say, "This week I'm going to tell the whole truth and nothing but. I'm not going to imply something that's not true." Here's an example. I tend to run late for things sometimes and I'll just come in. Now in L.A., you know, I would rush in and go, "Traffic." I didn't say I was in traffic. I just said traffic.

Jim Daly: Half truth.

Deborah Pegue: Half truth. My husband said, "Listen, the half truth is a whole lie."

Jim Daly: Wow, that's good.

Deborah Pegue: Yeah. And so but you see subtle ways that we can like not tell the truth? And so we all have negative uses of the tongue. So I, when I started this project, I said I'm going to look up every negative use of the tongue I can find in the Bible. I'm going to find scriptures for them and then I'm going to put a challenge out there to refrain from it. So that's what I did.

Jim Daly: Yeah, and that's good. And we're going to cover some of those. One is the know-it-all tongue. Now all the people that the know-it-all people just went, "No, don't cover that one."

John Fuller: We already have this one, move on to the next, please. What is the know-it-all tongue?

Deborah Pegue: Where you just can't even receive from anybody else, but every subject that comes up, you have the final word on it. Even if you're in Bible study and there's been a great lesson laid out and you'll say, "But what we have to really remember above all..." It's like, "No, we don't. That's not above all."

Jim Daly: You even have the vocabulary for this.

Deborah Pegue: No, really. Or here's a funny thing. When we're buying a car, because I deliberately like to let people teach me things. I just think it makes them feel better. Especially if they think they're teaching you something.

Jim Daly: Even if you already know it, that's important.

Deborah Pegue: And that's a big challenge. It's hard to let, especially for a man.

Jim Daly: You want to be the teacher. "I've been here, son. Let me show you how to change that tire."

Deborah Pegue: Sometimes when we're buying a car or something and they'll talk down to me because I'm the little woman. I think it's so funny because I am a CPA and they'll explain that with interest, the payment has interest and principal. I think that is so funny. I have an MBA in finance. I can do an amortization schedule in my head. And I'll say, "Okay," and I'll just act like they're telling me something.

Jim Daly: It's hard to bite your tongue in that case.

Deborah Pegue: Well, but if you choose to because let me tell you why you want to do that. It's pride. You don't want anybody to think you don't know something. It's this fear of appearing to be inadequate. So, "No, I'm adequate. I know that already."

Jim Daly: That's true. I think for men it's hard to say, "I don't know," if I could be blunt. It's hard to say that and that is something we've got to get over. I'm working on it.

Deborah Pegue: And there are examples of it in the Bible. That should be the 30-day challenge of saying, "I don't know." That's what I'm going to do.

Jim Daly: What about in marriage? How does this know-it-all tongue tend to play out in marriage?

Deborah Pegue: Well, I tell you what my mentor told me when she said when I was engaged to Darnell and she was in the car with us one day. We were discussing something and she said, "Okay, missy. We know you're smart. But don't know everything." She said, "Let him know some things." And I'm thinking to myself, "Yeah, I plan to let him know some things starting right now." But I took that to heart. Let him know some things. You don't have to jump in there and say, "Okay, I can do that." And so I'm pretty good being vulnerable. It just helps.

Jim Daly: It is a maturity in Christ to be able to bite the tongue and say, "Okay, I don't have to straighten him out every time."

Deborah Pegue: You don't have to straighten anybody out. You don't have to tell somebody, "I know that," or you just don't have to do that. That's pride and you've got to call it what it is.

Jim Daly: Well, our teenagers though. You might want to straighten some of them out. Okay, now the argumentative tongue.

Deborah Pegue: Oh boy, is this one hitting a little home? No, I grew up in a family that liked to argue. I have relatives that arguing is their norm.

Jim Daly: Okay, so let me ask that. Your family of origin, how you grew up, could shape some of these tongue maladies.

Deborah Pegue: Absolutely, because you could become like that or you could become the complete opposite. I decided I didn't want to be argumentative because I just thought an argument should have a resolution, not just keep going in a circle. Because that's how my parents argued and they just I never saw them really resolve something and say, "Okay, from now on, this is how we're going to go forward." It would just become circular. They'd just go to the next level of an argument.

I just think when people do that, it's because I think they're maybe feeling insecure about what they do know. Why do you need to argue that? I have a brother who likes to argue the Bible. I don't argue the Bible. I just tell you what part I embrace, which is all of it. And if you choose not to, that's fine.

Jim Daly: That sounds pretty definitive. But it's true and I can understand that. I think you can create an environment of arguing and some people might even say that's a positive because you want to be able to stand on firm ground, you want to be able to defend your positions.

Deborah Pegue: And you should. You should be able to defend your faith, but you don't have to be mean about it.

Jim Daly: Well, that's true. I totally believe that.

Deborah Pegue: Because I think that's what's wrong even in politics. This last election just split a lot of relationships. I'm thinking I'm friends with everybody. I embrace everybody's right to believe what they want to believe. Why do you have to believe the way I do?

Jim Daly: Yeah, but there's a certain intolerance in the growing intolerance in the culture in this regard and it's both left and right.

Deborah Pegue: It is and it's too bad. It's too bad.

Jim Daly: Well okay, that's a good place to put that argumentative tongue. What about again in marriage? Let me apply this here. When you have the spouse, and I'm not going to say it's the wife or the husband, just the spouse who is just constantly picking a fight. What do you what if you're the receiver of that? What advice do you have for that spouse to say, "Honey, can you stop chewing me up? I'm not processing at your speed. You just killing me here."

Deborah Pegue: Well, I think you need to agree quickly with your adversary. As the Bible talks about agree quickly with your adversary. So if my husband and I are in a discussion, I will say, "I hear you." You see I don't give any fuel to that. I'll say, "I hear you." If he's putting forth a point and if I don't agree with you, "I hear you" does not mean I agree with you. It means I have literally heard you.

Jim Daly: But it reduces the friction.

Deborah Pegue: It does because half the part of resolving an argument is for that person to feel like they've been heard and you're validating their point. So, "I hear you," will do that. "I hear you." And then I can say, "We can just agree to disagree. That's what makes us so unique. We're different."

Jim Daly: There is and I think generally when people say "I hear you," they do hear you. There is the occasional time when the person being told "I hear you" knows you're not listening.

Deborah Pegue: Well, you've got to listen though. You listen with your eyes and your expressions, you listen and you nod your head. You do.

John Fuller: Deborah Pegue is our guest on Focus on the Family today and *30 Days to Taming Your Tongue*. It's sold over a million copies. If you don't have it, get a copy of it. Get a CD or download of this conversation at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or give us a call. We'd be happy to tell you more. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Deborah, the complaining tongue. I mean again, these are societal problems right now. We seem to relish complaining.

Deborah Pegue: All of us. It's contagious. And we've got to be sensitive to it. That's why I call this a fast, where you become keenly aware of your tendency to engage in these negative behaviors. Complaining is so natural. I don't care, you can be in a market and everybody's... Here's a good example. In the bank. Oh, the line is long or whatever. And for people who still go to the bank, most of us do online banking.

Jim Daly: Do you go into the bank? I don't think I've been in a bank in years.

Deborah Pegue: Some people do. I have to send money often to relatives in distress. So you have to go to Walmart or somewhere and stand in that line. I hate it. But the complaining is like, "Oh," and I'm thinking you're standing here because you have access to resources. Do you know that half the world lives on less than $2 a day?

Jim Daly: So the half-full cup.

Deborah Pegue: Right. So here's the deal. You've got to become aware of your complaining. I think that we could actually park on this and spend an hour talking about it because it is so easy. So I like to give people a challenge to go the next 24 hours. Don't express any displeasure with anything. Not the traffic, not the weather, nothing that you can't do anything about. In the scriptures the Psalmist says, "I poured out my complaint before the Lord." If the person you're complaining to can't do anything about it, stop talking.

Jim Daly: Here's one that's funny for us. I remember when I first started at Focus on the Family. It was 1989. It was a long time ago. And I was on a training mission with another person and we were out and we went to a rental car counter to get the car. And they had no cars. And it was just out of a comedy situation.

And so the person who's training me from Focus on the Family was kind of upset with the agent, saying, "Well, I reserved a car, why wouldn't you have a car for me?" And it was a little heated, and "Are you going to get a car?" And the person finally brought all the information up on the screen and they said, "Oh, Focus on the Family. I love Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family." And this person went, "Oh great, that's so wonderful." I mean their tone changed like this.

And that was a great lesson for me to bite my tongue, you know, when on an airline problem or a rental car problem, I'm trying to always behave myself because you never know when they're going to say, "Oh, I listen to you on the radio."

Deborah Pegue: Okay, now lest I sound like a walking Bible, let me tell you this is what keeps me from complaining. Romans 8:28, all things are working together for my good. Now it may not look like it, but if I stop and tell myself that, this delay is working for my good, this traffic is working for my good, God is protecting me.

Jim Daly: That's a hard one to believe. Come on.

Deborah Pegue: No, really I do it. I do it. This traffic is working for my good. I don't care if I get up there two miles later and see an accident. Well, that could have been me if that car hadn't cut in front of me and slowed me down. You know, so we've got to believe that.

Jim Daly: It's a good way to look at things. Let's go to the self-absorbed tongue. I mean that one's tough to say with your tongue, but the self-absorbed tongue. What are you describing there?

Deborah Pegue: I'm describing a person who's always talking about himself. He's not interested in you and what you're about and your dreams and hopes. He's just talking about all the wonderful things that happened to him. "Oh, my book *30 Days to Taming Your Tongue* has sold a million copies and I'm in Denver doing six media interviews and I'm just me, me, me, me."

Jim Daly: Can I ask you though, at the core of that is deep insecurity. So there's more stuff going on there. So how does the person let's again go to the spouse. You're married to that person. You've noticed this, you obviously said yes, but how do you begin to say, "Honey, have you ever really just recorded what you're saying? Have you ever heard yourself and what you're saying?" How do you go about helping each other grow?

Deborah Pegue: I would take the sandwich approach. You always say something positive then you give them the meat of the matter. And you can say, "Listen, I just love it that God has blessed you in so many areas. He's just caused you to achieve in so many areas or so many great things are happening. Are you aware of the fact that other people may not be as blessed and it may not be very endearing to them to hear all about you like that? And so you might want to focus on other people."

Ask them questions and show them how to do it. My husband and I and he's not self-absorbed but as part of networking, he's learned how to ask people questions and be interested in others because you know they say that everybody's favorite subject is themselves. So I like to focus on other people. I don't want to just focus on me and what I'm doing. I like to ask them questions. "Tell me about your background. Where did you grow up?"

Jim Daly: People love to engage and talk about themselves.

Deborah Pegue: And we've got to watch that and we listen to it and be genuinely interested in others.

Jim Daly: Here's the greatest challenge on earth when you have children and especially again I'll just go to the teen years. That's an important parenting tool. How to ask questions of your teenager rather than just demand and really thoughtful questions, not "How did school go today?" because that's a grunt. "Yeah, good."

Deborah Pegue: Even if you ask them, "Who's your favorite teacher? Why? What do you like about her style? What teacher do you not like the most? What do you not like about that?"

Jim Daly: And then don't be judgmental about it.

Deborah Pegue: Don't be judgmental, just listen. You need to learn math. Listen. Two ears, one mouth. Listen.

Jim Daly: You also mentioned a moment ago the half-truth tongue. I really appreciate all these wonderful tongue twisters that you give us. The half-truth tongue. Elaborate on that a little bit more. I like that idea of prevarication as what the scripture calls it.

Deborah Pegue: Well, we don't think we lie, do we? Let's just call it what it is. It's a half lie. But as my husband said, a half-truth is a whole lie.

Jim Daly: Embellishing.

Deborah Pegue: But I used to be the queen of that. I would just tell half the truth if I had to take off from work and take my mom to the doctor. I only needed like four hours but I would just take off the rest of the day because like, "Oh, I had to take my mom to the doctor." Well, I did take my mom to the doctor. It didn't take all day.

Jim Daly: I'm saying that because I think in the Christian community we really pour ourselves into this one. Because we think we're getting away with it but the Lord sees that and He doesn't want that. He wants us to be honest and straightforward. I guess the question then becomes are we a culture that struggles with honest and straightforward?

Deborah Pegue: We struggle with sin, period. And if we're not conscious of it, which is why I like for people to go on these 30-day periods of abstinence from certain things because it sensitizes you to where you are. You know and we all have areas of our tongue especially that we could be less critical, we could be less a whole bunch of things. And so if we tend to tell half the truth, understand that it's displeasing to God.

If you want to read a story that's kind of like that with Ananias and Sapphira who sold their land in the book of Acts. And they said because everybody else was selling land and donating it, it was such a culture there that everybody was sharing and they said, "Yeah, we sold ours," but they told a lie. They did sell it, but they lied about how much they sold it for. They kept back part of it and God struck them dead.

Jim Daly: I think a lot of people that read that go, "Wow, that's pretty harsh."

Deborah Pegue: That's pretty harsh, but I think God was setting a precedent to say, "Listen, we're not going to tolerate this. No, we need to tell the truth. Foundationally, we need to base the church on the truth."

Jim Daly: Back to what you were saying though about your own experiences. Why were you telling half truths about taking your mom to the doctor or something?

Deborah Pegue: Because I was trying to mislead people. Listen, any lie is an intent to deceive.

Jim Daly: But for what purpose?

Deborah Pegue: Because I wanted them to think it took all day so I could go do something else. I don't want to say I took my mom to the doctor for three hours and I spent the other five shopping.

Jim Daly: This is a really tough one. Is it ever reasonable to just you have to tell the whole truth really every time?

Deborah Pegue: You don't have to volunteer the whole truth but you always have to look at the intent of the heart. If your intent even with the silence, if the intent is to deceive, meaning I want you to think something different than what the reality is, then you are lying. Yeah, and that's what it is. It is. So if you just call a spade a spade, then you can just go on and be healed. You can't be healed of things you conceal. You really can't.

Jim Daly: Now in that context of encouragement, you know, it's so fun. It's almost like giving a birthday present when you can be an encourager. But again, just personally that can be a struggle at times because you're feeling like we need reprimand, we need course correction, especially if you're in management, you're leading people, you have kids at home. There are times when you have to be helping them see the path.

Deborah Pegue: And giving them hope rather than punishment. Well, giving them hope but sometimes it might be punishment and an expectation though that I know you can do better than this. And there may have to be a punishment, but you don't leave it with just that.

Jim Daly: Well and I just want people and me to hear from you that course correction is okay. God, that's truth and that's something that God wants us to do to encourage each other. Even Paul writes about that to finish the race strongly, to rise up to the right standard.

Deborah Pegue: And when whenever you can encourage rather than criticize, and I think that is just so critical because it impacts other people's progress. When you read the story of Miriam in the Bible where they criticized Moses and then God struck her with leprosy, the whole place came to a standstill. They couldn't move. Nobody could move forward. And I say that's a lesson there, because when you are critical like that, it really impedes other people's progress.

So one of the things we can do and in the book I talk about the fact that not only should you refrain from these 30 negative uses, but find 30 ways to be more positive. Encourage somebody. To say, "Yes, you can do this." Let me tell you a story. I have a friend whose husband is very mean and I called her one day and I said, "I just want to tell you that your merchandise is good." I was studying Proverbs 31 and I said she perceives that her merchandise is good. I want to let you know that you have good merchandise. And she said she kept that message on her phone for like forever almost because she wanted to hear that validation.

Jim Daly: Just that little bit of encouragement. What kind of trigger do you use? And I guess for temperament reasons, you know, you have a more negative temperament to a more positive temperament. So the more positive person it's going to come more naturally. So speak to both of that. What kind of trigger do you use to say, "Oops, I'm going to bite my tongue. I'm not going to say that negative thing I thought of," and you're doing this in milliseconds and you're going to say something positive and encouraging. What trigger do you use to make sure you do that?

Deborah Pegue: Well, here's my trigger. The Holy Spirit will often tell you, "Don't say that." You know He's like a caution light. He's like, "Okay, you need to stop talking, you're about to mess up." And then sometimes and I have to tell you, I don't always I sometimes I run the light. I violate it. Especially if somebody's not doing a great job and I hate this. Because I'm thinking that's not brain surgery and I've actually said that but I didn't know what a negative impact that had on somebody to one of my former employees.

He lied about his qualifications and he couldn't do the job and I looked at it one day and I said, "That's not brain surgery. How hard is that?" Well, that's like saying idiot. That's a cutting remark. And I didn't realize that. But it wiped him out. I didn't know that. I'm thinking well you shouldn't have lied about the job. The least thing I could do is give you a tongue lashing.

Jim Daly: A lot of people are going to say that was reasonable, Deborah. Why you beating yourself up? I know but some people will say so how do we need to interpret that it wasn't? Because there's a logic to that too.

Deborah Pegue: The tone, the put-down. When you say everybody knows that, what do you say except you, idiot. Okay, so let's back the tape up. Play that forward how it should have been done. And I said, "Okay," he didn't post the receivables right when I was working as a CFO at this place and I said, "Now I," you know I shouldn't have said how hard is that. I'm going to say, "What aspect of this did you find confusing?" because I could use that as a teaching moment rather than a moment to beat him up.

And you don't add, "this obviously confused you." Right, yeah, you can say what part of this do I need to did I not make clear or what part do you need more clarity? I could ask that question if I stopped, if I thought about it and prayed about it before I said it. But sometimes you're so frustrated when you're so goal-oriented and that's why when you are a high achiever, you have to watch your tongue more probably than anybody else.

Well, and you think about that, the immediate response is wouldn't this be a better world? But think of this, wouldn't it be a better church if we had these principles down? Talk about the retaliating tongue, because that's one we need to cover here at the very end. Because it's so easy to fall into that spot.

Deborah Pegue: And especially in marriage. Because you know to retaliate means to return the punishment. So you're keeping score. Yeah, you're keeping score and you if he says something, I'm going to say something. Why do you need to return the punishment rather than seeking first to understand?

Jim Daly: So I will win, Deborah.

Deborah Pegue: But have you won? No, in the end, you lose everything. You lose because words never die. And that's what we have to remember. Words never die. They're going to last like they're going to be like shrapnel in that person's brain. So you don't need to return the punishment. You need to seek first to understand. Why don't you turn that into an opportunity to say, "Could you explain more what you mean by that?" And even if it was mean, the person says something that was mean you need to say, "You know, your tone really hurt me." It's okay to be vulnerable and to say that those words really hurt me and I really wish you would think about it next time.

If you think about this, what's so good is this applies to every area of your life. In your marriage, in your parenting, in your work relationships, in your friendships. I mean this is a secret to living a blessed life and a good life. And words frame our relationships. So whether we're at work, our words you can encourage your boss and become one of his favorite people. Oh you will, that's for sure. Try it. It works.

I've done this. My husband the other day, I said, "You know what I like about you?" And he's so used to me being positive for a reason. He said, "Uh-oh, is this a set-up for you to ask me a question?"

Jim Daly: There's a list coming, right? Saturday's list is on its way. Fix the door. We're back to that, John. Fix the door. You can't escape it. Just call somebody. Deborah, this has been so good. What's the end of that story?

Deborah Pegue: Well, I wasn't about to give him a list. I just heard about a guy who was not as sensitive to his wife's needs as mine and and I wanted to tell him that that I was so appreciate the fact that he was.

Jim Daly: Good. Every man will. Because it was Saturday. But it was a true compliment and he liked it later, but he said, "Oh, I thought that was a set-up so that you could ask me to do something."

John Fuller: What a fun conversation with Deborah Pegue on today's episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. And I'm sure if you're like me, there's been a little bit of conviction along with her message.

Jim Daly: You know, every time Deborah is with us, she brings such good biblical insight and wisdom and practicality and smiles. I mean, she's just beaming from her. That's why she's one of our most popular guests. And you know here at Focus on the Family, we want to equip you in your faith walk so that you can be a better husband and wife, a better dad or mom. We're here with answers to those questions that you have and hopefully solutions to those struggles that you're in.

We also have great resources available to you like Deborah's book, *30 Days to Taming Your Tongue*. That's a pretty good transaction, don't you think? 30 days and that tongue will come under better behavior. In fact, when you make a monthly pledge to the ministry of Focus on the Family today of any amount, we'll send you a copy of Deborah's book as our way of saying thank you for joining the ministry. And if you can't commit to a monthly amount, we understand. If you can send a one-time gift, we'll do the same. Your continued prayer and financial support allows us to provide much-needed help to individuals and families and we couldn't do this ministry without you. We're in it together.

John Fuller: Join us today, donate and get your copy of *30 Days to Taming Your Tongue* when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459. Or online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. You know John, before we wrap up, let me remind everybody Focus on the Family has a beautiful campus right here in Colorado Springs and as you're mapping out your summer vacation, let me invite you to stop by.

We have a wonderful welcome center with Whit's End soda shop which is a great break for the summer. You can browse our big bookstore and even take a behind-the-scenes tour and learn more about Focus on the Family. Plus, kids, we have something called Kids Radio and they can do a little CD with Adventures in Odyssey scripts in there and we put their voices into that. It's a great little excursion.

Jim Daly: Years ago I had a nephew do that, John, and he listened pretty much the whole 12-hour drive home to that CD of him in Odyssey. It's a great hit. And in addition to the CD, you're also going to get an MP3 of the audio. So visit us is the point and give us a call if you have questions. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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