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Dr. Erwin Lutzer: I said, Lord, thank you that you said no to the prayer of your son. Thank you, because if you had said yes, we'd have not been redeemed.

John Fuller: Dr. Erwin Lutzer is back for another powerful discussion about prayer: why we pray, how God uses prayer to transform us, and how we can learn to align our will with His. Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we're going deeper on the subject. I'm John Fuller.

Jim Daly: John, we're going to address one of the hardest areas of the Christian life, and that's when we turn to the Lord in prayer and it doesn't get answered. It doesn't get answered the way we expect. We feel silent or alienated from the Lord.

That is okay to feel that way, but what we do with that is critical before the Lord. It's our attitude. We covered so much great territory last time with Dr. Lutzer. It was good stuff.

John Fuller: It really was. One of the things in our journey together in this life is how do we go deeper into relationship with Christ. I'm excited because I think day two will be power-packed again with how our attitude needs to reside within God's heart and hands, and then what are we learning in that process to be deeper in Him.

Be sure to go back and listen to that previous episode with Dr. Lutzer. It's easiest to find on our app. You can download that, go online, or catch it on YouTube. Dr. Lutzer is pastor emeritus of The Moody Church in Chicago. He served there as senior pastor for 36 years.

He's got three radio programs in the US and internationally. He's online and has written over 70 books. We're so pleased to have him back to talk about this one: *Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers? A Biblical Guide to God's Hidden Purposes*.

Jim Daly: Dr. Lutzer, welcome back. What a great day we had yesterday.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Jim, the reason I'm so excited is because I think that people who have given up on God and given up on prayer are going to be encouraged to go to God with greater faith and greater understanding that His hidden purposes, though they are indeed hidden from us, are fully known by Him. Even in unanswered prayer, there are tremendous issues that God is dealing with that is hidden from our sight.

Jim Daly: So many lessons out of our discussion last time. One of the biggest struggles that we can have is not an answer in our prayers, it's silence. Seemingly we don't hear from God when we've petitioned Him for whatever it might be, some pain that we have.

Paul experienced that. He had the thorn in the flesh, and at some point he thought, okay, this is going to stay and I'm not going to pray anymore for that. I've petitioned God, He basically said no, and we'll keep moving. Job is another example of perhaps that silence where he was hit hard.

In fact, it's a very intriguing thing that Satan entered into the presence of God and said, give me your servant Job, he'll turn on you the minute he has a chance. God responds to Satan. I’d love you to comment on this too.

Here's a very important lesson: never interpret the silence of God as the indifference of God. God may be silent, but He is not indifferent. Let me pick up on Job since you mentioned that. Here's the remarkable thing that you have to understand: Job did not know the first two chapters of his book.

He didn't know that God and Satan had had this dialogue and that he was going to be tested. If he had known that, he'd have been able to endure this trial much better. All that he knows is, for no apparent reason, he has ten dead children on the hilltop.

His wife is very skeptical, as we all know. Job's wife is oftentimes highlighted. Job does not understand any of that. He doesn't know that the whole world is going to hear about his faith later on through the Bible. All that is hidden from him.

All that he knows is this: he doesn't say, the Lord gave and the devil took away. He saw the sovereignty of God behind his experience and he said, the Lord gave and the Lord took away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. He said that without any explanations as to what God was doing. That is real faith.

Jim Daly: Erwin, let me ask for that person who is suffering right now and they've given their prayers over to God. They are interpreting it as, "I may not be important to Him," or "I don't feel He sees me." That's one of the greatest desperations in humanity: not being seen.

For those that have faith in God, if you translate it to He doesn't care about me or He doesn't see me in my affliction, it's exactly opposite of what Scripture is telling us. Speak to the heart of that for that suffering person.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: I want to emphasize the fact that the Apostle Paul goes to God because he has a thorn in the flesh from Satan. That's interesting. Three times he entreats the Lord and says, please take it away. Twice the Lord says nothing. The third time He says no, but I'll give you grace.

To the person who is suffering there who has asked God for specific healing as the Apostle Paul did—we don't know exactly what his thorn was—could I give you that word of encouragement? Cleave to God's grace. We do not have God's understanding, but we do have the assurance of grace.

Jesus said that all things are known, and He even said to His disciples, don't worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble. What He's saying is the God who takes care of the birds is the God who is going to take care of you. He says, are you not of much more value than many sparrows?

My dear friend, bring your doubts to God, but at the same time know this: that God is on your side, He is there for you, and He's going to give you grace to endure. Grace is like a pillow upon which a weary traveler can lay his head. You don't have to understand in order to believe.

Jim Daly: Dr. Lutzer, I often have this thought of the disappointed Christian. If you were to take your last breath in that moment of angst where God hasn't answered your prayer and you're disappointed, and let's just assume that in the next second you're right in front of the Lord, you're done with this life. It just happened, and you're carrying that into that conversation with God.

I don't want to be there. I would much rather be all the examples that you've given: the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. That's how I would want to enter into heaven with my attitude. I feel like that's a discipline of thinking. Each one of us is going to face the Lord. Wouldn't you much rather face Him with an attitude of gratitude as opposed to having ten questions?

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Whether or not those questions will be relevant once you die, that's a question we don't have an answer to. But I want to say this to the person who is dying with doubts, even though they are true believers: we are not promised an easy journey. We are only promised a safe landing.

When you arrive in heaven, you will arrive there with the knowledge that you were bought by Christ, you belong to Him, and you're going to be with Him forever. As human beings, if you were before a firing squad, it might not be a happy experience where you say, "Lord, I'm so glad for this." It may be very difficult and fearful, but as a believer, you will arrive at your destination.

Jesus is going to be there for you, even as He was for Stephen who was stoned. That's a very interesting insight into eternity. Stephen is stoned, he looks up into heaven, and Jesus is standing. That is the only time in the New Testament when Jesus is standing. He's always seated at the right hand of God. Jesus is saying, "Stephen, these stones are going to hurt. You're going to go through a lot of suffering, but I just want you to know that when you die, I'm going to be here for you."

Jim Daly: That's exactly the point I was trying to make, but you've got to contemplate this because it's big. Are you capable of going down like Stephen attitudinally? Maybe not being stoned and the roughness of that, but even in our attitude to be able to go down with Your will be done, Lord.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: And into Thy hands I commit my spirit. That phrase was on the lips of most martyrs who died for the faith, imitating Jesus whose last words on the cross were, Father, into Thy hands I commit my spirit. That would be the ideal attitude with which we should die.

Jim Daly: An interesting story that I've come across: I was out visiting a donor who builds 9-1-1 rescue boats in the Seattle area. Wonderful man. He asked me to come down and just spend a day with them at the factory and watch how they do it. I'm always interested; it's like "How It's Made."

He said, "I don't know if Joe's here today, but Joe's got a pretty interesting testimony you're going to need to hear." We're almost three quarters of the way through the day and here comes this man running at me. Joe runs up. He was on the assembly line in some capacity.

He came up to me and said, "Hey, I'm Joe. I love Focus on the Family, Mr. Daly. Thanks for being here today." I said, "Joe, I've heard you've got quite a testimony." He goes, "Yeah, I got a diagnosis of cancer, but cancer, who cares? We're all going to go down, I don't care how we go." I said, "What happened?"

He said, "I had stage four cancer, and that night I'm already in the hospital getting a chemo treatment." He said the brightest light, when everybody left the room, appeared at the end of his bed. It was pure love. He felt like he was going to pop. He went through that story, and he just said, "I don't care what gets me, something's going to get all of us. I can't wait to be tapped into that source of love once again." Wow.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Yes, Jim, the statistics on death are very impressive. I remember sitting with a man who would die forty days later. He said to me, "If I could sign something to get out of this I would." He was 64 years old. He said, "I would have to come back to this moment anyway because there's no way to get out of death."

Whether it happens when you're younger or it happens when you're older, it may not matter much to you. Of course, those who are left behind struggle. In the book of Hebrews, it says that Jesus died to deliver those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. To the person out there who's a true believer, just know this: we can't avoid death, but we can prepare for it. The simple fact is this: you are going to arrive in glory.

John Fuller: What an assurance, what a confidence we can have in our faith in Christ. Dr. Erwin Lutzer is our guest today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Such great insight, such powerful scriptures and examples to help you in your doubts and in your struggles in prayer. We want to equip you to thrive in Christ. That's why we're here as a ministry. Get a copy of this book; focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. It's going to help you do that.

Jim Daly: Dr. Lutzer, I have been bursting at the seams here to ask you this question. I think it's one of the most important questions. You've done a great job giving us Abraham, Job, Paul, and others in Scripture. Let's go to the source, Jesus. He goes into the garden of Gethsemane. He knows what's coming. He knows His death is imminent and it's going to be horrible: scourging, hanging on a cross. He prays to the Father. What do we take away from how He prayed?

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Jim, I want to share my heart with you and with everyone else who is listening, because when I studied this, it was so transforming. First of all, Jesus is in agony. He asks Peter, James, and John to join Him. They of course fall asleep. He goes face down on the ground, and he is in great agony. Why? Because he has to drink the cup that his Father gave him.

We know that the cup is the cup of God's wrath. I want everyone to visualize this. Imagine all of the sin of the world and all of the judgment of God on sin compressed into three hours. Jesus is going to endure that. For a period of time He's going to be separated from the Father. Fellowship will be broken. The ontological relationship of the Trinity will be totally intact.

Jesus is going to have to say, "My God, my God." That is the only time in the New Testament where He called God "God" and not His Father. "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" He needs the help of the disciples. Jesus is going through unbelievable agony. By the way, if all depression and fear were sinful, Jesus would sin, but He's sinless. These kinds of experiences are common to all of us.

Jim Daly: Grief like that is okay? That's in the scope of being Godly; it's not ungodly.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Jesus goes and three times He prays to the Father in Mark chapter 14. Jesus says, "Father, all things are possible with You. Remove this cup from me." He prays that three times. And then Jesus says, "Nonetheless, whatever You will, let Your will be done."

Jim, when I realized this, I left my computer desk and I got on the floor before God because what I'm going to share was so transforming: our salvation was founded on an unanswered prayer. What if God had said, "Yeah, okay, from what I've seen of the human race, let's abort the plan. It's not worth it. These human beings are sinners, they love their sin, let them go and be damned." You and I would not be redeemed.

It's because the Father said no to the Son. You have to drink the cup. That is the basis of our salvation. If I could shout this to everyone who's listening, I would say this: God may be doing greater things through unanswered prayer than He is through answered prayer.

First of all, it's very evident that today's prayerless Christians become tomorrow's backsliders. Here's Peter, James, and John who fell asleep along with the other disciples. They weren't praying with Christ, and before the chapter ends, you discover that they've all forsaken Him. If you're a prayerless Christian, this certainly could happen to you.

Jesus said, "Watch and pray." The reason we have to watch is to watch for enemies. In our homes today, we have to watch for the enemies: the internet and everything that comes to us. Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. We've certainly all experienced that.

But here's the thing: though Jesus Christ's prayer was not answered in the affirmative, His prayer was heard. If you go to Hebrews chapter 5, you discover that Christ, in his flesh, offered prayers and supplications to God and he was heard in that he feared. Eventually, of course, Jesus was raised from the dead.

According to Greek scholars, the word heard is positive. He was heard. I want to say to all those who are listening, even your unanswered prayers are heard by God. I remember in Bible college visiting a home. A woman came to the door and she was wiping her tears from her cheeks. I still remember it vividly. She said, "Oh forgive me, I've just been praying for my son."

I don't know what happened to her son, but I do know this: her prayer was heard. In Revelation chapter 5, it says that the 24 elders fell down before the Lord and each of them had a golden bowl filled with incense, which is the prayers of the saints. My dear friend, keep praying and keep trusting. Even if your prayer isn't answered, God may have a hidden agenda.

Let us begin to thank Him for unanswered prayers because we know that if they are unanswered, there must be a good reason even if we don't know what that reason is. To be very clear, we have to live by promises, not explanations. You and I must recognize here that our Savior experienced unanswered prayer and thank God He did.

When I was on the floor before the Lord when this finally hit me, I said, "Lord, thank You that You said no to the prayer of Your Son. Thank You, because if You had said yes, we'd have not been redeemed." God may have agendas that are much greater than our experience, and what we need to do is to lean into that and say we don't have to understand in order to keep believing. This is the trial of your faith.

Jim Daly: That "greater" is wiser as well. God has wisdom beyond what we could imagine. To everyone listening, at the end of the day it's not my will or your will; accept the will of God for you, even though it's very different than God's will for somebody else. Say, "Nonetheless, not my will but Thine."

Powerful words and a powerful revelation that we're saved through an unanswered prayer. What a statement. That had to be the biggest aha in writing this book.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: For a moment, I shuddered. Oh God, thank You, Father, that You did not answer the prayer of Your Son. Think of the pain of that. And then Jesus drank the cup, and the cup came from the Father. Wicked hands crucified Christ, but there's a limit to what wicked hands can do.

There comes a time when wicked hands can no longer do anything and we are in God's hands. Jesus experienced all of the wickedness of Herod, the Romans, and the Jews, but that was okay. That was the cup that was given to him by his Father.

I'm speaking to people today who are going through suffering at the hands of unbelievers, maybe also the hands of believers. They need to see that this cup has been given to them of God. The source may be evil, but ultimately because it's under God's control, God is using that for good. Jesus drank the cup and thank God He did.

Jim Daly: Powerful words. Right at the end here, Dr. Lutzer, Joni Eareckson Tada is a person that we all know. A terrible teenage diving accident left her a paraplegic. She's probably one of the most amazing living inspirations in the world. She just wakes up gritting through the pain and all the suffering that she deals with to sing for the Lord, to paint. But she has to wake up every day with that willingness. Speak to the power of her testimony.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: I heard her say that when that accident happened so many years ago, first of all she wanted to commit suicide. She couldn't do that, thankfully. Then she said she went to healing services and everyone told her that John chapter 5 is the story for you. It's the story of the man at the pool of Bethesda.

About 40 years later, she's taken to Israel. Of course she's in a wheelchair, and she goes to the pool of Bethesda. She said that when she sat there, she thanked God that she had not been healed 40 years earlier because of all the good that God did through her as a result of her suffering. Thank God even when your prayers are unanswered because God may have a bigger vision to do in you and through you than you will ever find out about in this life.

Jim Daly: Joni, if you're listening, we love you and thank you for that witness. That's what we mean by being a witness for Christ. Dr. Lutzer, this has been so good. There's so much more in the book; we can't cover it all. Everybody needs a copy of this great resource. Thank you for being with us these past two days.

Dr. Erwin Lutzer: Thank you, Jim and John.

Jim Daly: Have you been praying? Do you have a habit of prayer? Have you made it important in your life? Prayer is powerful and prayer is important. I'm so grateful that Jean and I are able to start days mostly with prayer together as a couple and certainly as an individual.

It's a discipline and a habit that you need to form for all the right reasons. I know you've heard that through the great answers that Dr. Lutzer has provided. I hope you'll be wanting to get a copy of this book. Be a partner in ministry with us; just make a gift of any amount. If you cannot afford it, call us. Everybody should have a copy. Money shouldn't be the issue. If you can support us, we'll send it as our way of saying thank you. If you can't, we're going to send it and help you.

John Fuller: Get in touch today to get this wonderfully rich, practical book by Dr. Erwin Lutzer called *Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers?* Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. You can find the details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Next time, Dana Gresh will speak about the powerful connection between moms and their daughters.

Guest (Female): And this teenage girl said, "My mom looks in the mirror and tells herself out loud every day how ugly and fat she is." She was in tears and she's like, "I think my mom's beautiful, and I look just like her."

John Fuller: That's next time on Focus on the Family. Remember when you get in touch, let us know how you're listening: on our website, through our mobile app, or on our podcast feed. I'm John Fuller and on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, join us next time as we help you and your family thrive.

Jim Daly: Join us. We'll see you then.

Guest (Male): This program was brought to you by Focus on the Family. Be sure to check us out at focusonthefamily.com for more resources to help your family thrive. Thanks for listening.