Focal Point

Dave Drury: Today, on Focal Point with Pastor Mike Fabarez.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: willingly forgive for love's sake. I want you to be willing and I want love to motivate that. And that can be a much better motive than just saying yes, sir, I'll forgive. Now, if you have to say yes, sir, I'll forgive, I guess there are days I obey God out of duty. I understand that. But God would have you do it better.

Dave Drury: Some things in the Christian life can feel optional, nice to do if we ever get around to them, but not exactly required. Today on Focal Point, Pastor Mike Fabarez asks whether forgiveness belongs on that list or whether scripture treats it differently. We're continuing our series Fighting for Peace, and today's message picks up in Philemon chapter 8 as Paul continues his appeal to a man named Philemon. If you missed any part of our study so far, just go online to focalpointradio. org. Well, now let's join Pastor Mike for today's message titled The Right Kind of Forgiveness.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: Jot that down. Number one, you need to know that you are required to forgive. That is a requirement as clear as any other requirement in scripture. It is non-optional, non-negotiable, it is not an opinion, and it is not a suggestion. God doesn't say I suggest you forgive people cuz that would be be better for If you have it in your heart somewhere, please just forgive people. This is a command. How clear is it? I think you know the words of the Lord's Prayer. Give us this day our daily bread. Remember that line? And forgive us our debts, right?

As we forgive our debtors. As we Okay. So we forgive our debtors, people that have wronged us, and we're asking you to forgive us for wronging you, God. Now, you probably have that memorized. Have you memorized the bottom of that passage? How about verse 14? It says this in the Lord's Prayer. It's a clarification by Christ. If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. It's funny how we don't memorize that part. If you forgive others their trespass, when they've wronged you, then your heavenly Father will forgive your trespasses.

But if you do not forgive the trespasses of your brothers against you, God's not going to forgive your trespasses. And could you think of a stronger way to say this is required for Christians? Required. Remember I I took you to the passage there in in 1 John chapter 4 when he talks about new commandment I give to you. Well, it's not new, it 's old, you've had it, but it 's new. Remember all that? And I said the difference there, you might remember, is that the standard has changed. The old standard from Leviticus is love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Jesus now says in the Gospel of John, no, no, no, love your neighbor as I have loved you, which is better than how you love yourself. It's a clear requirement in scripture. Love includes forgiveness partly because if you think about who your brother is to you, I I I I talked about the interchange of the word part and member. Member in scripture, 1 Corinthians chapter 12, means a part of the body. You're part of the body. And in your church, you have people in the church that are seen organically by God as a part of you because you are a part of Christ.

You all relate to the head. And the imagery there in in in the book of Ephesians is he is the head and you all are his body. 1 Corinthians, same thing. You could be a thumb. The other person in your in your in your small group could be an ear and someone else can be an eye. All these different parts of the body. But just like you love yourself, or as Paul put it in Ephesians chapter 5, you nourish and cherish your own body. Right? That shows the love you have. You forgive and you recognize that.

You continue to recognize that you forgive. Cut my finger this week. Can you see my band-aid here on my finger? Here's the thing. The hands that look at that finger that got in the way of my pocket knife problem, the body doesn't want to continue to bring damage to the finger because it got in the way, right? Or this hand doesn't think Well, this hand was carrying the pocket knife when you cut the finger. So this hand doesn't want to punish it. These hands, they've wanted to work together all day long because they're connected to the head.

So all week long, I'm still trying to make sure that the body just works together. I don't want any grudges between hands. That would be That would be a nightmare. And God says you are the body of Christ. Yeah, well, I don't like the damage that this did to me. Right? And And the left hand should be really mad at the right hand cuz the right hand was very careless in how it handled the knife. And yet the left hand is as for the right hand as it's ever been. Matter of fact, it's praying for the right hand to handle that pocket knife carefully.

We don't want to forget that we're organically connected as the body of Christ. We are parts of one another, members. Turn to Luke 17 real quick. Luke 17. I don't think duty is a bad thing. You need to remember that we have some duties. One of the duties is to love, one of the duties is to forgive. You must forgive. We are slaves of God. That's one of the reasons this is not an inherently horrific analogy. That does the New Testament say if you can get your freedom as a slave in the Greco-Roman world, get your freedom?

Yes, of course. Be better for you to not be a slave. I don't want anybody to be enslaved. That's a good thing. But I am enslaved as a Christian to Christ. That's the whole point of the logic there in Romans chapter 6. I am a slave of Christ. I've become a willing slave. I've leaned my earlobe against the doorpost and I've let him put an awl through it and I've said forever I will be your slave cuz I have a perfect master. In this text though, Jesus wants to remind us what that implies. Verse 7, will anyone of you have a slave?

There's the word servant, bond servant, do law, same word. Plowing or keeping sheep, will he say to him when he has come in from the field, hey, come at once and recline at the table? That's what I want you to do. I will sit here, you look sweaty. Let me bring you a handkerchief. No. Will he not rather say, hey, get supper for me and dress properly. Clean your face, wash your hands. And then can you bring me some food tonight? You're my servant, you're my slave. And after I eat and drink, well, then you can eat and drink.

Yeah, that's what that's what a master does with a slave. Does he thank the servant because he's done what he's commanded? No. This is a quid pro quo. And just like It's nice when your boss thanks you for doing your job, but that's what he's paying you for. This is even greater than that. You're I I Talk about insurance. You got insurance in every area of your life from your master. He is your life source for you, your wife, your kids. And um he's not going to say thanks. He certainly doesn't have to. So also, Christians, when you've done all that you were commanded, say we are unworthy slaves.

We've only done what was our duty. We have duty in the Christian life. And here's one of the duties. And if you want to resonate on that for a minute, let's resonate on that. And Paul could have skipped it all together, but he says, you know, I could command you as an apostle just to do what is required. This would be a very short letter. But instead, I'm going to appeal for a better way. Duty's not a bad thing, and sometimes duty gets us through. But look what he says in verse 9. He says what I'd rather have you do is to let love motivate all this.

Yet for love's sake, I'd prefer to appeal to you. And he goes on to explain that. We're going to look at dimensions of that in just a second. Philip Brooks, old preacher from yesteryear, put it well. He says duty I remember quoting this for you when we were going through Proverbs and talking about the Christian work ethic. To duty, Philip Brooks preached, duty makes us do things well if we understand our duty, but love makes us do them beautifully. That's a good distinction. And here's what Paul wants, a beautiful reconciliation between Philemon and Onesimus. I'd like this to be beautiful because love will make it beautiful.

I think Philip Brooks is right. It will be much better if you're motivated. And as a matter of fact, let's get to the end of this discussion in verse 14. He says, I prefer to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion, but by your own accord. The keyword there is willing. I want it to be of your accord. I want you to decide to want to do this, and I want it to be motivated by love. So let's get both of those concepts in the second point. Ready number two, willingly forgive for love's sake.

That's what Paul is setting him up to do. I want you to be willing and I want love to motivate that. And that can be a much better motive than just saying yes, sir, I all forgive. Now, if you have to say yes, sir, I all forgive, I guess there are days I obey God out of duty. I understand that. But God would have you do it better. As a matter of fact, let me throw three quick verses at you regarding that. How about 1 Corinthians chapter 9? 1 Corinthians chapter 9 verse 16. Paul says, you know, I'm a preacher, and if I preach the gospel, that gives me no grounds for boasting.

Jesus does not say to Mike Fabarez this morning, thank you so much for preaching there at that church. No, this is my job. This is my what we would say even more sacred, it's my calling. Paul says, for necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I don't preach the gospel. So Paul is a missionary. Of course, you got to preach the gospel. That's your job. And as servants of Christ, we know it's our job. It's our duty. Verse 17 now, if I do this of my own will, if I willingly do it, I have a reward.

But if not of my own will, if I just do it cuz of duty, I'm still entrusted with the stewardship cuz I'm still a slave and I'm a steward, a steward who who is indentured to my master and Okay, but it'd be better. It'd be better. It'd be better cuz God loves to reward people who get their will involved in this. I said three passages. How about 1 Peter chapter 5 verse 2? You can just jot that down. He talks to pastors there. Peter does and he says, shepherd the flock of God. That word poimen, shepherd, it's a noun we're used to shepherd, but it's used here as a verb.

Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight. That's not always easy, it's not always fun, not under compulsion because that's your job, but willingly and I love this as God would have you. God would have us do things willingly. Be good to be willing. How about one more? 2 Corinthians chapter 9 talks about giving. Now, giving is a compulsion by the way. Galatians 6 6 talks about it in 1 Corinthians 8. You have to give to those who sow spiritual things in your life. Your church, you have to give to the church, you have to.

The Bible says it. But it says, I would love for you to give not reluctantly or under compulsion because God loves a cheerful giver. Let me talk about your will and I would love for Philemon to cheerfully take back Onesimus. That would be so better. God loves that. It is what God would have you do. It is what comes with a reward and it's better. But please don't become a 21st century sentimental Christian that often says if I don't feel it, I'm not going to do it because duty is always in the background of this command to forgive or any other command.

You don't wait to feel like you want to get baptized. Get baptized. If you're a Christian, get baptized. Don't wait till you feel like giving to your church. If you go to a church and it's serving you spiritually, you got to give. Right? If you are a Christian, you can't just say, well, I'm going to wait to love my brother till I feel it. You don't You don't have to wait for that. And I'm going to wait to feel like I can forgive him before I forgive You got to You got to do it, your duty.

But you know what God would want? He'd want you to feel it. He'd want you to willingly do it, volitionally say, I want to do that. How do I get there? Well, love can help us do that. Here's a basic principle we see throughout the discussions about forgiveness. When Paul talks about himself in this passage, yet for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you. I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner for Christ Jesus, I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. Now, he's going to say this later in in this discussion.

Verse 19, if you've got the text open, I, Paul, write this with my own hand, I will repay it, to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. So he's just reminding him, Christ has given you the gospel through me. But even as he speaks of Onesimus's salvation and Philemon's salvation, it certainly puts the focus on salvation. And here's the thing about salvation. God so loved the world that he gave his only son. While we were still sinners, Romans chapter 5, Christ died for us. So we know that what we need to think about first and foremost when it comes to love, you should be forgiving because of God's love for you cuz that's a kind of love that certainly includes forgiveness as a subset of the virtue of love.

That's the whole point, that you shouldn't perish. Well, you got to have your sins forgiven. The subset of Christ's love for you, of the Father's love for you is the willingness to forgive you at great expense to himself. Did Jesus feel like forgiving us in the garden of Gethsemane? Think now, think. Did he feel like forgiving us? Well, the concept is nice, but he said, oh God, please let this cup pass from me. I I I But not my will. Guess what? It wasn't a real willing thing at that moment in the garden. Did he get there?

Sure he did. He prayed himself through this while his disciples slept through the prayer meeting, but he got to the place where he willingly laid down his life for us. But what's the point? Is it hard sometimes? It's hard. But you can focus on this if it's hard. Christ's love for you, the Father's love for you. God so loved the world that he was willing to give a great high price to see your forgiveness effectuated. Matthew 18, I brought it up, verses 21 and 22, when Peter goes seven times and Jesus has to say no a lot more than that.

Well, then he tells a parable on the heels of this. You probably know this parable, but let's look at it afresh. Verse 23, Kingdom of Heaven. Your relationship to God and to heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him and owed him 10,000 talents. Now, sometimes I think like camp when I was a kid, you had a tally and you you would settle up at the end, right? If I If I ate endless hot dogs and endless snacks and Tootsie Rolls and all the stuff I would buy at the little, you know, candy store there, Abba Zaba, of course, all the stuff I would eat at camp.

At the end, you'd have to settle up. Or even in college, we had certain things that way. We'd settle up at the end. So the servants obviously living under all that the master provided, when they got extra things that weren't included in the arrangement of being a conscripted slave, then they would rack up a bill. And this bill was racked up here and he is going to settle the accounts. Well, he has one one one particular slave, verse 24, who owed him 10,000 talents. Now, 10,000 talents is a ridiculous amount of money. A talent was 20 years wage for a laborer.

I just want you to think about it. He owned 10,000 of those. Think about it. This is absurd. Could he ever work this off? Impossible. That's a debt that no one can pay off. I mean, that's just ridiculous for a slave. No. Since he couldn't pay, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle cuz who could pay that? No one could A slave certainly couldn't pay that off. His master ordered him to be sold. Well, I'm going to cut my losses here, just sell him, sell his wife, sell his kids. I'll at least get something out of this and payments are going to be made and whatever the payment's going to be.

So the servant fell on his knees imploring him, no, no, no. I like working here. I don't want my wife and my kids separated. I No, have patience with me. I'll repay you everything. Well, that's a joke. You're never going to be able to repay the master. And out of pity, compassion, great word, out of a movement in his own soul, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. That's the picture. That's the whole sermon, to let it go, to let it go, to release it, to pay it in full in your own mind even though you're not getting anything back.

He forgave the debt. Now, when the same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. A denarii is 1 day's wage. 100, that's a lot. So figure out what a person working at McDonald's, which is 20 bucks an hour now, at McDonald's that'll date the sermon. They'll listen to this sermon 30 years from now and say, they 20 bucks? We're making 300 bucks an hour now. Well, back in the olden days, 20 bucks was a lot for an unskilled worker flipping hamburgers. Day's wage, unskilled worker, 100 days, that's a lot.

One slave owed another slave a lot. Now, I don't know what kind of deals were going on, gambling debts or whatever, but that's a lot of money to owe for a slave. Now, it's not 10,000 talents. That's That would That would be absurd. Well, when he found that guy, he seized him. He began to choke him and he said, pay me what you owe me. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me, déjà vu. I will pay you. That's what I said to my master. Well, the slave refused and he went and put him in prison, debtor's prison, till he should pay the debt.

Now, if he went to the magistrate in town, they would put him in jail, debtor's prison, cuz you're right. He owes you, he should have paid you, he didn't pay you. Um put him in jail. When his fellow servants So now there's a third party, a bunch of other servants watching. When they saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed. They went and reported to the master all that had taken place. Why were they distressed? Cuz we know this guy had 10,000 talents forgiven. And he won't forgive 100 denarii. That's That doesn't seem like he remembers what he was forgiven.

Verse 32, the master summons him, summons him, brought him in, said, you wicked servant, you wicked slave. I forgave all that debt because you pleaded with me. You asked for it and I gave it to you, forgiveness, full forgiveness, paid in full. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? That's the principle by the way throughout the New Testament. It should be one of the first things that pops in your mind when you're finding it hard to forgive someone. I don't care who it is. They haven't sinned against you as much as you've sinned against the holy God.

From the time you became a Christian, let's just think about your post Christian sins, not to mention all the sins before that. God looks at you and if you confess your sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. And where does that sin go? Right? Think about it. I know what it feels like when I'm forgiving my brother, like I'm just supposed to say poof, it's gone and act like it didn't happen. Now, does God act like it didn't happen? Well, he does. But here's the thing, it goes somewhere.

The debt goes somewhere. Well, it goes to something we call the propitiation of Christ on the cross. It's why he ended his life with a word here in his earthly ministry to telestai, which you know the translation of that. What's the translation of the Greek word to telestai? Paid in full or it is finished. Paid in full. It's an accounting term, all paid. So the propitiation, the satisfaction of the debt of justice before the tribunal of a holy God was paid in full. So everything you've done that you've asked God forgiveness for, God himself paid for himself.

And now you feel wronged and you feel like there's a debt owed to you. Well, you know, wash my car for the rest of my life and I guess I'll forgive you. But you're supposed to just let it go. aphemi, the Greek word for it, just let it go. That's hard to do. But it ought to be remembered every time it's hard to forgive how you have pleaded with the Lord to have mercy on you and out of great compassion, with the great love with which he loved us, to quote Ephesians 2. Right? He made you to be born again.

No sin, no transgression, no guilt, no condemnation. God's love for you ought to be a motive for you. And I can't get away from this without reading at least the end of Ephesians 4 and the beginning of Ephesians 5. Be kind to one another, verse 32 of chapter 4 says, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. See, there's no just God forgiving you. He has to forgive you in Christ because the payment and the debt has to be suffered somehow. And he forgave you. Therefore, verse 1 chapter 5, be imitators of God like beloved children, your your siblings here, and walk in love as Christ loved us.

And guess what he did? He gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Nothing would please God more than for you to willingly let go the debt of what someone has done to hurt your feelings, to wrong you, to tweak you, to do something against what you want it. Duty is good, willingness is better, love is the motive. And the first aspect of that love is God's love for you. How about this? How about your love for your brother? You should love your brother. That's part of the first evidence of real Christianity is you love the congregation of the redeemed.

Jot this down. Proverbs chapter 10 verse 12. Proverbs 10 12 says hatred If you hate people, they'll stir up strife. Any little offense will stir up anger, strife, hostility. But love covers all offenses.

Dave Drury: You're listening to Pastor Mike Fabarez on Focal Point and a message titled The Right Kind of Forgiveness. You can revisit these messages anytime at focalpointradio. org or take them with you wherever you go and whatever your schedule looks like through the free Focal Point app. Now, let's talk about something special happening this month. It's Pastor Mike's brand new book, The Bible, A Book Like No Other. He wrote it to give you in plain language the reasons this ancient collection of writings has held together and held up across thousands of years. Inside, he walks through the historical record behind it, the way it's been copied and preserved without losing its message and predictions that came true centuries after they were written down.

It's a resource you can actually use, whether that's answering your own kids' questions, handing it to a skeptical friend, or just settling your own mind on a subject most of us have wondered about at one time or another. Request your copy when you give to Focal Point this month. Just give us a call at 888-320-5885. That's 888-320-5885 or give online at focalpointradio. org. You can also mail your gift. Just write to us at Focal Point, Post Office Box 2850, Laguna Hills, California 92654. You know, every message that reaches a listener today got there because someone at some point decided this ministry was worth backing, which is exactly why we're asking you to join the Focal Point partner family with a monthly gift.

It's the kind of support that doesn't just cover today's costs. It builds toward tomorrow's listeners, the ones who haven't found this Bible teaching yet. Sign up to give a monthly gift today by calling us at 888-320-5885 or go online to focalpointradio. org. And if this is your first time listening, we'll send you a free booklet called Fighting for Peace by Pastor Mike as our welcome gift. Call today. 888-320-5885 is our number or reach out online at focalpointradio. org. Well, I'm Dave Drury and we'll see you Thursday when Pastor Mike continues our lesson on The Right Kind of Forgiveness here on Focal Point.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: Hi, Pastor Mike here. God's word promises it'll never return void. So I wonder, how is God's word moving in your heart right now? Drop us a line. Let us know. We'd love to hear from you. We'd love to be praying for you here. Just go to focalpointradio. org and then be sure to join us again tomorrow right here as we continue to explore the depths of scripture. We'll see you then.

Dave Drury: Today's program was produced and sponsored by Focal Point Ministries.