Focal Point

Dave Droege: Today on Focal Point with Pastor Mike Fabarez.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: People that dredge up the past, and women are known for this, by the way. I'm not saying men don't do it. But look at the memes and reels online, right? You got to leave the past in the past, and nine times out of 10, it's exactly what God's asking you to do. Maybe 19 times out of 20. You just need full-throated, complete, absolute, sincere forgiveness and never look back at it again.

Dave Droege: Jesus once told a story about two servants and two very different deaths, one impossibly large and one that was almost nothing by comparison. Today on Focal Point, Pastor Mike Fabarez asks what that story says about how quickly we forget what we've been forgiven. By the way, if you're new to Focal Point, we'd like to send you Pastor Mike's latest booklet that goes along with our current series called Fighting for Peace, Absolutely Free. Reach out online at focalpointradio.org. Well, now here's Pastor Mike with today's lesson.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: Take a look at your text here, Philemon in verse 8. It's printed on your worksheet, or if you want to turn your Bibles to it, I'll read it from the English Standard Version. We'll read through verse 16 accordingly. Though I'm bold enough in Christ, verse 8 says, to command you to do what is required, yet for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you. I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus, I appeal to you my for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment, just like Paul talks about being the father of Timothy.

Formerly, Onesimus, he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me. I'm sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me in order that he might serve me on your behalf, verse 14, but I prefer to do nothing without your consent, because that wouldn't be right. In order that your goodness might not be by compulsion, but by your own accord, I 'd like you to be reconciled to him, verse 15. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever.

Talk about reconciliation, forever. No longer as a slave, as a doulos, as a bond servant as translated here in the ESV, but more than a slave, as a beloved brother, especially to me. He's been great to me, a beloved brother to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh, right? He He's your servant, but he's also your brother in the Lord. That's great. It's a great text that I think has a lot embedded in it that may help us forgive. If you think about those people that have wronged you, and there are plenty of them, probably some just this week that have tweaked you in some way.

And matter of fact, let's get to the end of this discussion. In verse 14, he says, I prefer to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion, but by your own accord. The keyword there is willing. I want it to be of your accord. I want you to decide to want to do this, and I want it to be motivated by love. So let's get both of those concepts in the second point. Ready number two, willingly forgive for love's sake. That's what Paul is setting him up to do.

I want you to be willing, and I want love to motivate that. And that can be a much better motive than just saying yes, sir, I'll forgive. Now if you have to say yes, sir, I'll forgive, I guess there are days I obey God out of duty. I understand that. But God would have you do it better. Here's a basic principle we see throughout the discussions about forgiveness. When Paul talks about himself in this passage, yet for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you, I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner for Christ Jesus, I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.

Now he's going to say this later in in in this discussion. Verse 19, if you've got the text open, I, Paul, write this with my own hand, I will repay to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. So he's just reminding him, Christ has given you the gospel through me. But even as he speaks of Onesimus's salvation and Philemon's salvation, it certainly puts the focus on salvation. And here's the thing about salvation. God so loved the world that he gave his only son. While we were still sinners, Romans chapter by Christ died for us.

So we know that what we need to think about first and foremost when it comes to love, you should be forgiving because of God love for you, because that's a kind of love that certainly includes forgiveness as a subset of the virtue of love. That's the whole point, that you shouldn't perish. Well, you got to have your sins forgiven. The subset of Christ's love for you, of the Father's love for you is the willingness to forgive you at great expense to himself. Did Jesus feel like forgiving us in the garden of Gethsemane? Think now, think.

Did he feel like forgiving us? Well, the concept is nice, but he said, Oh God, please let this cup pass from me. I I I I but not my will. Guess what? It wasn't a real willing thing at that moment in the garden. Did he get there? Sure he did. He prayed himself through this while his disciples slept through the prayer meeting. But he got to the place where he willingly laid down his life for us. But what's the point? Is it hard sometimes? It's hard. But you can focus on this if it's hard. Christ's love for you, the Father's love for you.

God so loved the world that he was willing to give a great high price to see your forgiveness effectuated. Matthew 18. God's love for you ought to be a motive for you. And I can't get away from this without reading at least the end of Ephesians 4 in the beginning of Ephesians 5. Be kind to one another, verse 32 of chapter 4 says, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. See, there's no just God forgiving you. He has to forgive you in Christ because the payment and the debt has to be suffered somehow.

And he forgave you. Therefore, verse 1 chapter 5, be imitators of God like beloved children, your your siblings here, and walk in love as Christ loved us. And guess what he did? He gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Nothing would please God more than for you to willingly let go the debt of what someone has done to hurt your feelings, to wrong you, to tweak you, to do something against what you wanted. Duty is good, willingness is better, love is the motive. And the first aspect of that love is God's love for you.

How about this? How about your love for your brother? You should love your brother. That's part of the first evidence of real Christianity is you love the congregation of the redeemed. Jot this down. Proverbs chapter 10 verse 12. Proverbs 10 12 says, hatred, if you hate people, it'll stir up strife. Any little offense will stir up anger, strife, hostility. But love covers all offenses. It's amazing how often a little baby can offend a mother and the mother continues to love. The natural, embedded love of a mom for a baby. Like that That Just think about that.

How often did your baby wrong you, pulling your glasses off your face, pooping his pants incessantly, throwing up on your dress? And yet you're going to hug them within moments, within minutes. I'm sorry. You got to forgive because you love God's kids. It covers all offenses. Or 1 Peter chapter 4 verse 8, above all, keep loving one another. If you can focus on loving each other, that's why Jesus said it's the greatest command of the Old Testament as it relates to our relationship. Love each other. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly because love covers a multitude of sins.

If you just focus more on I need to love the person, I need to love the person, I need to love the person. First you think of God's love for you. Now I want you to think about your love for that person. You should love them. They are your brother in Christ. Christ loves them so much he sent his son to die for that person. You need to forgive them because you love them. Love covers a multitude of sins. How about Matthew chapter 5? There's one more aspect of love. You should forgive for for the sake of God's love for you.

You should forgive be for the sake of of your love for God's kids. You should forgive for the sake of your love for God. Why? Look how God works. Verse 43, you've heard it said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you so that you may be sons of your Father who's in heaven. Well, I don't want to be like God. No, no, no. You love God, right? Don't you want to be godly? Don't you want to be like your dad? Don't you want to do do what he does?

I I would think that's what you want. So if you love God, why don't you act like God? The most godly thing you can do, think about it, is to forgive because this is certainly what God has done. Think about the corporate sins and the individual sins that are made up here as an aggregate in the corporate worship of this room with hundreds of people in here. How much sin has God forgiven in this room? You want to be like God, why don't you forgive a little bit? Why don't you start forgiving? If you love God, you're going to be like dad.

Why? Because he makes his sun rise on the evil and the good. He sends rain on the just and the unjust. That word just, righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, verse 46, what what do you have? What reward do you have? No reward there. Don't even the tax collectors do the same? I mean, that's the lowest rung of betrayal in culture. Even the betrayers love those who love them. Even the gang members love those who love them. And if you agree only your brothers, what are you doing more than others?

Don't even the Gentiles, people who don't know God, don't they do that? Therefore, you must be teleos as your heavenly Father is teleos. Teleos is not and I I was taught this verse as a little kid in church as though this is just supposed to remind me that I'm a sinner. That's not what this verse is for. This is a command. You therefore must be perfect. Maybe that's a translation that would should have been rethought. Does teleos mean perfect? It does. It means perfect, but it means an incidental or a episodic perfect. It means that you're doing the right thing in a situation.

This is the right thing to do, not to curse, not to hate, not to respond with anger and retaliation. But even when someone wrongs you, those people that God is sending the rain on their fields and the sunshine on their crops, they didn't ask God for forgiveness and yet they're sinners. There's an aspect of your forgiveness that needs to be applied even before someone apologizes to you. Forgive for the sake of God's love for you. Forgive for the sake of your love for God's kids. Forgive for the sake of your love for God because you'd like to be more like him, I hope.

And remember this, God loves you back when you love him. When you forgive for love of God, Romans chapter 12 verses 18 through 21, just remember God is standing over your shoulder. It may feel very unjust. Well, let God deal with what's unjust. God says, vengeance is mine. I will repay. If something really needs to be settled, I'll make sure it gets settled. You worry about forgiveness and reconciliation. Back to our text, verse 15. Obviously verse 12 has already introduced this. I want to send him back. I love this guy. I want you to love him.

He could serve me here, but I'd rather you willingly receive him back. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever. This is not Paul saying to to Onesimus. Onesimus, go to Philemon, say you're sorry, then you can come back here. This isn't just making restitution. Right? Think about that. This is full-blown recon It's like you coming to my office and saying, I stold hundreds of dollars of merchandise from from a store I used to work at. Right? I might think, okay, go back there and and and make restitution and apologize.

Right? They may arrest you, who knows? But whatever, you go you go make it right. That's one thing, but to say, now I want you to work there and be best friends with the boss. That's something else. That's what we call reconciliation. And you know what you're going to have to do if anyone's going to reconcile with you after hurting you, you're going to have to not look back at the hurt. Number three, you need to be reconciled without looking back. You cannot keep looking back. There's no rearview mirrors in in this thing called forgiveness.

We just can't look back. Now once you write that down, some of you think, oh, this is the typical platitudes of church. They are always saying this is not real world. You told me to think real world. I'm thinking real world. And when I think real real world, that's hard to say, real world. Uh you know what? It It It doesn't work. Okay. If there's one thing I'm trying to be always is real world. Okay? That's my job. So if you're going to make a note under number three, please know that I know that there are exceptions, okay?

There are exceptions. It'd be like me preaching pro-marriage sermons like don't divorce your wife. That I I I could preach that for an hour and that would be all good. I could go to a million passages. But then you might come up well, there are exceptions. Well, they'll Okay, yes, right? There are exceptions. Romans chapter 7, 1 Corinthians chapter 7, right? Matthew chapter uh 16. Clearly there are exceptions. But we're talking about the rule, and the rule is you need to forgive. Now what kinds of exceptions would there be to forgiveness? I don't think there's any exceptions for a kind of forgiveness.

And the kind of forgiveness is the Lord's going to take revenge. It's not me to take my own vengeance. In other words, what what we read in Romans chapter 12 verses 18 through 21, that's true in every situation. I want to be like dad who is still kind to those who are unrepentant. But there is something about repentance. Even in Jesus's conversation in Matthew 18 with with Peter, think about it. He still says, if someone sins against you and repents, forgive him. Well, that seems conditional. Well, there is a kind of forgiveness that is conditional.

What kind is that? The reconciliation kind. I understand. If you have an accountant that steals a lot of money from you, you'd say, well, real reconciliation, put him right back in charge, give him all the passwords and the key to the safe. No. I understand there are things that you do. There can even be aspects of reconciliation that involve trust that you would you wouldn't do. There certain people do certain things you would never have them babysit your kids. Doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them, but there are aspects of reconciliation that I understand cannot be forgotten.

And it's not so you can hold a grudge. Let me put it this way. The only thing that I 'm talking about here is you should never look back for punitive reasons. It's not punitive. It's not punishment. And people that dredge up the past, and women are known for this, by the way. I'm not saying men don't do it. But look at the memes and reels online, right? You got to leave the past in the past, and nine times out of 10, it's exactly what God's asking you to do. Does the past affect the present?

Sometimes it does. Are there exceptions? Yes. Are there times as as John 20 says to withhold forgiveness? Well, just remember it it those are in corporate settings. Right? 1 Corinthians chapter 5, John chapter 10. Is there a time to withhold forgiveness? Here's what God says, you withhold forgiveness, I've I've withheld it. What kind of forgiveness? The kind of forgiveness that involves reconciliation. And that may be the kind that can't happen without real repentance or a real reform in some area. So I get that. And for not wanting to emphasize the exceptions, I I feel like I've already emphasized it enough.

But don't use the exception as something to help you somehow not carry out your responsibility to forgive. Because I say nine times out of 10, it may be more than that, maybe 19 times out of 20. You just need full-throated, complete, absolute, sincere forgiveness and never look back at it again. Be reconciled without looking back. Let me give you two verses. It's helpful. We We read one already in worship, Psalm 103 12. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. How complete is the Lord's forgiveness for you? How far is the east is from the west? Can't get further than that. Or how about Micah chapter 7 verse 19? Micah chapter 7 verse 19, and we'll throw in verse 20 because it's good too. He will again have compassion on us. There it is. And he will tread our iniquities underfoot, and you you will cast all of our sins into the depths of the sea. Here's verse 20. You'll show faithfulness to Jacob, your steadfast love to Abraham as you've sworn to our fathers from days of old.

This is all based on a covenant promise. The covenant promise for us is based in Christ. You are forgiven in Christ. I understand that. And because of that, you can confess your sins today to God, and he's faithful and righteous to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. I'd like you to start to practice that because real love grants that kind of forgiveness that can bury it in the deepest sea, tread it underfoot, and separate it as far as the east is from the west. There's one statement there in Philemon verse 15 that I think is very helpful.

For this is perhaps I don't know why, but maybe that he was parted from you for a while. This is perhaps why there was an infraction. This is maybe why he ripped you off in the first place that you might have him back forever. Right? No longer as a bond servant, but more than a So it may be not just providentially that you'll get saved, but that you have a better relationship on the other side of transgression. Think about this now, that you may have a better, tighter, longer-lasting relationship on the other side of forgiveness, reconciliation.

And I don't think anybody's been married more than six months who doesn't understand something about wronging each other sometimes with the proper kind of forgiveness and reconciliation can make a relationship stronger, not weaker. You know the book of Hosea, right? I quizzed you about Amos, but how about Hosea, the other prophet to the northern tribes? Hosea was told to go marry a prostitute. You want to talk about a prophet having his head spin around when he gets a revelation from God? Go marry a what? A prostitute. Well, I'm going to have to not tell my mom about that.

And off he goes and have with her children of whoredom. Crazy. And so he does, and she runs away back to harlotry, back to prostitution. And then God comes to him then in in the next chapter, chapter 3, after the explanation chapter 2. And in chapter 3, he says, go win her back. What? Think about it. The covenant destroying act of infidelity here is her job. And And you're told to to just forgive it? That's That is the point. It's an amazing point. And why did God have Hosea marry a prostitute and then keep wooing her back?

Because he wanted to show, this is my love for you guys. You sinned against me all the time. Now take us back to the heart of the message. God's love for you ought to be an impetus and a motive and a safeguard for us being unforgiving people. Some people in the office gave me a car wash for my birthday last month. And they got washed. Finally got got got around to cash it. It's not the car wash that you drive through and you have to sit there and wait. And watch other people watch you read or whatever.

This is the one that comes to your office. I felt like a king. They showed up on Tuesday and they washed my car. And I love it because my office looks down on my car where I park my car, and I just watch them just busy cleaning my car. I was just like I felt like Nebuchadnezzar, right? Just like look at this. Amazing. Well, if you walk by my car right now, you know what you're going to find? That happened on Tuesday. It's Sunday. I could use another one of those. My staff only let me enough to give me one car wash, but but you know what I'll do?

Because I'm a typical Southern California guy, I'll go and wash my car. I wash my car. We're not in Nebraska, right? I mean, we we wash our cars a lot out here. I'd like my car to look good. I even garage my car. Yes, I I value my clean car over the junk in my garage. I park in my garage every night. Try to keep my car clean. I'm not crazy, but I'm almost crazy about it. I want my car clean. Don't you Some of you like your car clean. And I keep cleaning it, and I know this, going to get dirty again.

Doesn't stop me because I like it when it's clean. Remember in John 13 when Jesus said I'm going to wash your feet. It's all symbolic, right? I mean, it's real, really happening, but Peter goes, no, you're not going to wash my feet. Jesus goes, I have no part with you if I don't wash your feet. Well, then wash my whole body. Jesus stop it, Peter. No. You're already clean because of the word I've spoken to you. You're forgiven. This is a picture here of forgiveness. And he says, I just need to wash your feet because you're going to get your feet dirty.

And then he says at the end, go and do the same. What's the same I'm supposed to do? Why don't we wash feet here? Some denominations do. That's not what the illustration's about. It's about how we sin against each other, and we got to keep on washing each other's feet. I'm going to clean this off. You've sullied this religion, want to fix it. Because Jesus keeps doing that to us every single day. God wants you to forgive. That's the kind of forgiveness we're looking for. It's not like the world's forgiveness, very conditional. The world's forgiveness like the rabbi's forgiveness, three strikes and you're out.

Let's prove that we're his followers and forgive.

Dave Droege: You're listening to Focal Point with Pastor Mike Fabarez and the end of a message called The Right Kind of Forgiveness out of the book of Philemon. To revisit our share any of these daily messages, just go to focalpointradio.org. And to get even more content from Pastor Mike, wherever you are, be sure to download the free focal point app. Speaking of things worth your attention, we want to tell you about something special this month. Pastor Mike wrote a brand new book called The Bible, A Book Like No Other. And it's exactly the kind of resource we want to put in your hands this week.

In it, he makes the case, plainly and directly, for why this ancient collection of writings still deserves our trust, the history behind it, the manuscript evidence, and the predictions recorded long before they came true. He wrote it so you'd have real answers ready, whether it's your own doubts keeping you up at night or a friend who's never quite believed the Bible holds up to scrutiny. It's a book meant to be used, not just read once and left on a shelf. Get equipped today by requesting The Bible, A Book Like No Other, when you give a financial gift to Focal Point.

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Does the book of Enoch belong in the Bible? Did a 4th century emperor really strike books out of it? And how can we help a family that's struggling financially? I'm Dave Droege, and we'll see you Friday right here on Focal Point.

Pastor Mike Fabarez: Hi, Pastor Mike here. God's word promises it'll never return void. So wonder, how is God's word moving in your heart right now? Drop us a line. Let us know. We'd love to hear from you. We love to be praying for you here. Just go to focalpointradio.org and then be sure to join us again tomorrow right here as we continue to explore the depths of Scripture. We'll see you then.

Dave Droege: Today's program was produced and sponsored by Focal Point Ministries.