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You’re Not My Dad; I Don’t Have to Do What You Say—Part 1

October 18, 2018

What would you say if your stepdaughter just declared, “You’re not my dad; I don’t have to do what you say.”?

 

Recognize that on some level this teenager is telling you about her sadness. Yes, I know, she doesn’t want to clean her room but she also misses her dad. Sometimes kids defy a stepparent because they are hurting. So, respond first with genuine compassion. “You’re right. I’m not your dad and I can tell that you miss him.” This connects to her heart and shows her you’re really not all that bad. In fact, your gentleness just might earn you some respect and obedience. I'll share part two tomorrow.

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About FamilyLife Blended®

FamilyLife Blended® provides  biblically-based resources that help prevent re-divorce, strengthen stepfamilies, and help break the generational cycle of divorce.

About Ron L. Deal

Ron L. Deal is the Director of blended family ministries at FamilyLife®, and is the author/coauthor of the books The Smart StepfamilyThe Smart Stepdad, The Smart Stepmom, Dating and the Single Parent, and The Remarriage Checkup. Ron voices the FamilyLife Blended short feature and is one of the most widely read authors on stepfamily living in the country. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist who frequently appears in the national media, including FamilyLife Today® and Focus on the Family, and he conducts marriage and family seminars around the countryRon and his wife, Nan, have been married since 1986 and have three boys.

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