Walk With Others
August 31, 2017
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Want to grow in your relationship with the Lord? Want healthy family relationships? Don’t go it alone; walk with others.
From day one it wasn’t good for man to be alone. We’ve always needed others in our lives. At a recent stepfamily retreat I made sure the couples got a lot of time to interact. They loved it! They talked, shared frustrations, and encouraged each other. Even though they were from all over the country, I challenged them to stay connected and to go back to their local churches and find other couples they could walk the blended family journey with. Want a healthy blended family? Don’t go it alone.
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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Dating is how you first fell in love and it’s one way to stay in love.
Dating is an investment of time, energy, and a little money but mostly it’s an investment in your “usness.” A chance to breathe and connect. It's a good idea to leave the kids with someone else. There are free dates (like a walk in the park), relatively inexpensive dates (like dinner and a movie), and expensive getaway dates (like a marriage cruise). There are even books that provide do-it-yourself marriage enrichment discussion ideas for your date. Invest in your usness. Go on a date!
August 30, 2017
When it comes to conflict, are you an adult, or just a big baby?
To worship the Lord David, in Psalm 131, prepares his heart by calming and quieting his soul. “Like a weaned child,” he says, “is my soul within me.” That’s the way to approach God and the right way to respond in conflict. A calm and quiet heart is humble and a weaned child can self-regulate when upset. Too many of us act like a big baby in conflict. We expect the other person to calm us down. That’s not going to work. Can you calm and quiet your soul? If not, it’s time to grow up.
August 29, 2017
Some surprises are great! Others, not so much.
Ask a parent what surprised them most about being a parent and you get a variety of responses: how scared we feel when we don’t know what to do, and how much fun it is to watch your child use their God-given gifts. We asked stepmoms what surprised them most and they sounded like other parents. Some were surprised by how complex stepparenting is and how hard it is to explain that to others. And some were surprised, despite their fears, that loving stepchildren was easier than they ever imagined.
August 28, 2017
You know it’s true: we often judge what we don’t understand.
There are many things about stepfamily living that people who don’t live in a stepfamily find hard to understand. Mostly, people are supportive but not everyone. The Bible says in Proverbs 11, “A man who lacks judgment belittles his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” From the outside it’s easy to criticize but those who take the time to understand discover that stepfamilies, like all families, consist of imperfect people who are redeemed by a Savior.
August 25, 2017
Honestly, sometimes when siblings fight, it’s our fault.
Sibling conflict is normal but sibling rivalry is rooted in something bigger. In the Bible, Jacob favored a special son, Joseph. Now Joseph’s brothers really resented him being favored and when he was presented with an extravagant robe, they had had enough. They wanted Joseph gone. The moral of the story: Sibling rivalry is predictable when parents show favoritism. Stepfamilies are vulnerable to this. So do your best to pour yourself equally into every child in your home. They all need you.
August 24, 2017
What does the second law of thermodynamics have to do with your relationships?
At FamilyLife® we tell people to be intentional about their relationships. Why? Because of entropy. Entropy is the unavailability of a system’s thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work. It’s the gradual decline of a system into disorder. Boy, did that hurt my brain. Okay, it’s why your mobile phone needs to be recharged and why the sun will burn out in 5 billion years. Relationships are like an old grandfather clock; if you don’t wind them up every once in a while, they stop working.
August 23, 2017
You’ve heard of a dog whisperer, right? Have you heard of a gossip whisperer?
Dog whisperers communicate with dogs. Gossip whisperers with people and according to Proverbs 26, they divide relationships and stir up strife. They whisper something to one person and something else to another. It’s fun to hear what they say, but God calls it an abomination because it hurts people. There are whisperers in church, the halls of school or business, in families, and on Twitter. Don’t be a whisperer and don’t listen to somebody who is. Better yet, tell them to knock it off.
August 22, 2017
My teenage daughter wants to live somewhere else. Should we let her?
Jerry’s daughter was angry over her parent’s divorce, living life between homes, and now Jerry’s remarriage. She wanted to live only with her mom. I told him that developmentally sometimes kids need to live with one parent more than the other for a season, but this request is about anger and avoiding conflict. That is not a good reason to make a change. Keep your visitation time and keep working through things. This is about reconciling with your daughter and that is always worth the effort.
August 21, 2017
Stepfamilies work hard to bond new relationships so is it ever okay to leave someone out?
That was the question a 62-year-old woman asked. She and her husband both have adult children and grandchildren. She loves being with his family, but wants to go visit her grandkids when her husband is at work. Compartmentalizing your time and relationships like this can be a healthy thing for stepfamilies. Spending exclusive time with your kids renews the hearts of those who have experienced a loss. All things in balance, give time to new relationships and the entire stepfamily, too.
August 18, 2017
If you’re a parent or stepparent, you and the highway department, have a lot in common.
The freedom to drive does not mean you get to drive anywhere you want. The highway department and other things determine that. Sometimes there is only one lane and sometimes there are multiple lanes. That’s when you get to choose. Good parenting is like being the highway department. We set the boundaries for our kids and teach them where and how fast they can drive. The combination of freedom and boundaries, and a few tickets every now and then, makes for a well-trained driver.
August 17, 2017
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Featured Offer
Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.