National Stepfamily Day 2017
September 15, 2017
00:00
Do you expect to get paid extra for doing your job? Ahhh, nope.
You don’t expect anyone except your boss to say thank you, right? Parenting is like that. Parents expect their kids to be thankful, but we don’t expect others to thank us for caring for them. Stepparents are a little different. They give out of the overflow of their hearts so it’s nice when others notice what they do for their stepkids. September 16 is National Stepfamily Day. This is a good opportunity to honor stepparents and call attention to the love that’s shared in blended family homes.
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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Want to speed up bonding in your stepfamily? Stop orchestrating togetherness and just let them simmer.
Parents in stepfamilies can be anxious about how quickly people are bonding. But wise parents learn to be patient. One stepdad figured this out the hard way. He said, “When my kids came over to visit, they would hug some of their stepsiblings and shake hands with others. Then her kids would migrate back to her and mine to me. At first we thought we had to group everyone together so they would like each other. But we learned to let them simmer and respected when and how they chose to blend.”
September 14, 2017
When it comes to your marriage, the truth will set you free.
Terry and Sharon Hargrave suggest there are three sources of “truth” about your marriage. The first and most reliable source is God. Scripture tells you the truth about relationships, how to love, and who you are. The second is wise, godly people to lean into when you need perspective. Third is yourself. But only after you mature. Young couples shouldn’t trust themselves but older couples who have walked with God and learned hard lessons can listen to that voice that's in step with the Spirit.
September 13, 2017
Sorry, Ron, this might hurt.
So I’m getting my teeth cleaned and the hygienist says, “Sorry I’m having to be assertive.” I mumble back, “It’s okay; I’m not feeling any pain.” To which she says, “Then I’m not doing my job.” Wait, you mean there’s supposed to be pain? Yes, in many areas of life, pain means growth. When was the last time you read God’s word and let it step on your toes? Or made yourself attend a parenting or marriage or relationship conference? Or walked into a church without knowing anyone? No pain, no gain.
September 12, 2017
If your parenting came to an end today, would you have any regrets?
Nan and I have three sons. A few years ago our middle son, Connor, died of an illness at the age of 12. I certainly wasn’t finished parenting him, but I don’t have any regrets. We went fishing. We celebrated his talents and his gifts and urged him to use them for others. We talked about sexuality and other awkward subjects and we shared the gospel with him. I’m so glad we did because eternity came sooner than we thought. Parents, we can’t count on tomorrow. Love them and parent them today.
September 11, 2017
Do you see that smile on that older person’s face? They must be a grandparent.
It’s true, isn’t it? Just ask someone about their grandkids and their face lights up, they show you pictures, and they get giddy all of a sudden. No wonder Proverbs 17:6 says that grandchildren are the crown, or should I say the “reason for joy,” of the aged. Now sometimes in blended families grandchildren bring an added blessing: they unite the family. To a grandchild there’s no grandparent and stepgrandparent. They don’t’ know the family history and don’t care. You’re just someone they love.
September 8, 2017
On any journey, part of gauging your progress is knowing how far you have to go and knowing how far you’ve come.
Those who study team efficiency will tell you you need to mark your progress so you know what you’ve accomplished. Parenting is a little like that. It’s easy to see the qualities your child is missing and what you’re working on, but sometimes we fail to notice how far they’ve come. Stepfamilies sometimes feel like a never-ending work in progress but remember what it was like in the beginning. Get some perspective on how far you’ve come and know that God is with you with all that lies ahead.
September 7, 2017
Romans 12:18 says, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you.
Every year millions of kids become part of a family by adoption, foster parenting, or marriage and they get lots of new family members. You can’t make those kids love you but there are things you can do to help you live at peace. Engage in the child’s interests; join them in the books, sports, activities, and music they like. Actively pursue connection, and if you get discouraged don’t give up. Take special trips, or take part in service activities. Love is your goal and time is your friend.
September 6, 2017
Dating in mid-life is complicated.
He was in his mid-50’s talking loudly on his mobile phone and I overheard him say, “Sweetie, you know this. I have to pay alimony and child support. Don’t scream at me. No, I can’t change it and this has nothing to do with us.” Well, actually, it does. Mid-life dating means embracing the other person’s past and making it your present. If you find yourself, like this guy, dating someone who wants to untie your commitments—especially those to your kids—don’t plead with them to understand. Move on.
September 5, 2017
Trust calms the heart.
Without trust, relationships fall apart. Whether it's trusting our politicians, our parents, a salesman, a spouse, or God trust is vital. Family therapist, Terry Hargrave says trustworthy relationships have a strong balance of giving and receiving love. Trustworthy people are responsible and reliable to keep their promises. God is all of these things. If we want to be like him and want strong, intimate relationships where people feel safe and loved, then we need to be trustworthy people. Are you?
September 4, 2017
What do we do? My husband’s ex is so negative about us; it’s really hurting our relationship with his kids.
One of the most menacing attacks on any single parent or stepfamily home is an ex-spouse who, because they’re a parent, gets to be like a terrorist living next door. The temptation is to get drawn into the game-playing. Of course, that never works. What could work is praying for God to soften their heart and for them to realize they are only hurting their children. Pray for yourself, too. Ask God to help you to endure the persecution and to give you daily wisdom as you respond to the negativity.
September 1, 2017
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Featured Offer
Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.