FamilyLife Blended®

Ron L. Deal

Extended Family Welcome

September 25, 2018

To be welcomed is such a blessing.

 

Both Robbie and Sabrina had been widowed and their former in-laws had gone out of their way to welcome the new spouse in their new blended family. Now, these parents had lost an adult child and this new person was going to be the stepparent to their grandchildren, but still they went out of their way to include them and affirm their place in the family. Wow. When extended family opens the door of their heart it’s a heavy dose of grace for the entire blended family.

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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you. 

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You know it’s good to be poor.   “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” said Jesus in Matthew 5, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” To be poor in spirit is not to be financially poor, or to think poorly of yourself. It’s to think rightly about yourself before God. Now, a spiritually proud person doesn’t need God because they are self-sufficient. But someone who is poor in spirit knows they need God. And, that person will find relationship with others who are poor in spirit much more attainable. So what would God say about you?
September 24, 2018
Have you ever been on the outside looking in?   It’s not fun is it? Maybe it was junior high and that group you wanted to belong to wouldn’t let you in. Or, it was a social club in college or a professional organization. Whatever it was, it’s not fun being on the outside. What does it take for a group of insiders to allow an outsider in? Softened hearts. Like in a stepfamily, biological family members--the parent and their children, grandparents, the aunts, the uncles have to soften their hearts to make room for the new outsider.
September 21, 2018
It’s quiz time. What do graduation, getting married, getting pregnant or having a baby all have in common?   They all tell us a transition has occurred and things are different. How do stepfamilies know they are a family? In the beginning, you are a collection of people from different families who try to figure out how to be a family. At some point, you do figure it out and a stepparent starts acting like a parent and stepsiblings start pestering each other like they do brothers and sisters. Well, so far, there’s no formal graduation ceremony for becoming a family but maybe you can act like there is.  
September 20, 2018
I’m sorry, what’s your point?   As I explained how FamilyLife Blended ministers to stepfamilies a woman in the audience said she wasn’t sure she could support us because God hates divorce. What’s your point? First, I won't get into the difficulties of translating Malachi 2:16 that way but second, if you think God doesn’t help people nor does He want us to help people if they sin in their divorce; well, then the church should just shut its doors. God’s grace is intended for sinners. Even you. Don’t you want that for others?
September 19, 2018
At school activities this year, let your kids be kids.   Co-parents and stepparents, do you feel stressed at your child’s school activities knowing there is another set of parents there? So do the kids. Stepfamily author, Heather Hetchler suggests you tell the kids that at school functions they can sit with whomever they want and greet you in any order they want. And, if you have a high conflict ex-spouse situation, act civil toward them in public no matter what. Essentially, make sure they don' have to pick sides. Give them permission to be a kid.
September 18, 2018
Sometimes, joy is mixed with sorrow.   Life often puts us in situations where two very different experiences are juxtaposed. Proverbs 14 insightfully observes, “Even in laughter the heart may ache.” In blended families, a child may enjoy new siblings or a stepparent and still ache over someone who isn’t there or a widow may thank God for her second husband, but quietly lament the first. Is there something wrong with this? No. We can experience many things at the same time. And love those who do the same.
September 17, 2018
Do you expect to get paid extra for doing your job? Ahhh, nope. You don’t expect anyone except your boss to say thank you, right? Parenting is like that. Parents expect their kids to be thankful, but we don’t expect others to thank us for caring for them. Stepparents are a little different. They give out of the overflow of their hearts so it’s nice when others notice what they do for their stepkids. September 16 is National Stepfamily Day. This is a good opportunity to honor stepparents and call attention to the love that’s shared in blended family homes.
September 14, 2018
“To know” or “to take.” In Psalm 139 David declares: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me.” The Hebrew word for known, yada, is a very intimate word. God knows me personally and he wants to be known by me, creating a close, intimate relationship. The same word is used for sexuality. It’s an intimate revealing form of communication. Now contrast that to how the world talks about sex. It’s what I can take. Not what I can give or share. Intimate communication or selfish exploitation? It’s up to you.  
September 13, 2018
When parenting, learn to sing in unison.   I have a friend in Ghana whose father’s advice to him on parenting is deeply profound: “Two voices,” he said, “do not raise a child.” That's right. When parents are singing the same song in unison, the message of the song can be heard by the child, understood, and followed. But if they are singing two different songs there is disharmony, discord, and distraction. Look, the Bible is the music. The values, morals, and heart principles found there give you one voice as you raise your child.
September 12, 2018
Tragedy and hope—what a strange combination. Sheri Ladley lost her husband, James, on September 11, 2001. Her two children lost their father. Their family lost their joy. The 9/11 attacks were tragic for all Americans, but for Sheri and her kids, it was deeply tragic. Since then our country has rebuilt some of what it has lost. Sheri’s family has, too. She remarried and had a daughter whose middle name is Hope. This year on 9/11, let’s remember the people we lost and the tragedy that changed everything. And let’s cling to the One who heals.
September 11, 2018
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Featured Offer

Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you. 

About FamilyLife Blended®

FamilyLife Blended® provides  biblically-based resources that help prevent re-divorce, strengthen stepfamilies, and help break the generational cycle of divorce.

About Ron L. Deal

Ron L. Deal is the Director of blended family ministries at FamilyLife®, and is the author/coauthor of the books The Smart StepfamilyThe Smart Stepdad, The Smart Stepmom, Dating and the Single Parent, and The Remarriage Checkup. Ron voices the FamilyLife Blended short feature and is one of the most widely read authors on stepfamily living in the country. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist who frequently appears in the national media, including FamilyLife Today® and Focus on the Family, and he conducts marriage and family seminars around the countryRon and his wife, Nan, have been married since 1986 and have three boys.

Contact FamilyLife Blended® with Ron L. Deal

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FamilyLife ®
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Orlando FL 32832
 
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1-800-FL-TODAY
(1-800-358-6329)