Expressing Commitment
June 14, 2017
00:00
Can you imagine at your wedding expressing vows to someone other than your groom or bride?
Maybe you saw the online video that went viral, it includes a groom expressing vows to his bride—and to her daughter. This stepdad-to-be knew that marrying a single parent means marrying the entire package—which in this case, included a young girl. He promised to play games with her, love her, and show her how a man should treat a woman by the way he treated her mother. Right from the start this girl was assured her stepdad was committed to her. We all need to hear that stepfamilies included.
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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“You see, Ron, I think I destroyed his dreams.”
A stepdad said, “When I married my stepson’s mother, I destroyed his dream of his parents getting back together.” Yes, because many kids of divorce do hold onto that dream it’s really hard when their parent marries. And that explains why the boy wasn’t welcoming to the stepdad. For a long time. The stepdad’s realization helped soften his heart toward his stepson and in time they found their way to each other. Dreams do die hard. And then sometimes, new dreams begin.
June 13, 2017
Is your church kid sensitive or out of touch?
A teacher gave the option of making two Christmas gifts so the kids wouldn't have to choose between mom's or dad's house. She gathered supplies for two gifts but another teacher in her grade thought that was too much trouble. Is your children’s ministry like the first teacher or the second? Do you have a curriculum that makes kids feel left out when they can’t be there each week? Our free tip sheet on ministering to students in stepfamilies can help your church stay kid sensitive and relevant.
June 12, 2017
The song “Respect” may have been made famous by Aretha Franklin, but the lyrics were written by a man!
Ladies, it may be true that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the best way to keep his heart is with your respect. Respect to a man communicates admiration and appreciation, both of which spell love. What does Paul tell wives to do in Ephesians 5 in the Bible? Well, he tells husbands to love their wives but he tells wives to respect their husbands. Find a way today to communicate respect to your husband. Thank him and tell him what you admire about him.
June 9, 2017
Okay, this is going to sound a little strange, but no; don’t try to be the knight in shining armor.
Romance novels and movies often characterize men as a knight who rides in and sweeps the woman off her feet and into wedded bliss. Many stepdads I know have also tried to fix all the wrongs for their stepchildren. I know it sounds strange but if you try to fix all the problems that other people have created, people may end up turning on you. Come alongside the kids, stepdad, embrace them and try to be a steady, positive influence over time—not the knight in shining armor. Just love them.
June 8, 2017
Yellow flashing lights mean proceed with caution.
Christine’s 16-year-old daughter was having emotional difficulties, but Christine’s boyfriend wasn’t very patient. In fact, he blamed her for keeping them from getting married. Even though Christine was in love and felt their “coupleness” was a good fit I suggested there was a huge flashing yellow light in front of her. He’s not mindful of your daughter. "Familyness” yellow lights should bring caution to “coupleness.” Your kids need you to slow down and make sure the light isn’t turning red.
June 7, 2017
Parents, you’ve got to role with the changes.
A biological parent’s role changes over time. As a child matures we shift from telling young children, to teaching adolescents, to delegating or coaching young adults. A stepparent’s role might shift from being a babysitter to being an aunt or uncle, to being a bonus parent. Later life stepparents likely start and finish in a friend or mentor role with their adult stepchildren. How your role changes depends on a lot and it can be confusing. Let us help with the changing roles of stepparenting.
June 6, 2017
Spring weddings are just around the corner. So, how do you prepare to be a blended family?
One woman said, “Take your time in dating. Don’t rush things. Think about your kids before making decisions. They need to feel like they're part of the process, not just watching it. We went to counseling and included our kids. We made sure they had a voice. We got educated about stepparenting. At the very heart of it all, we relied on God. I don’t know how we could have made it if we didn’t have God at the center of everything we deal with on a daily basis.” That sounds like good advice to me.
June 5, 2017
So this guy runs up to me at one of my stepfamily conferences and asks, “What do I do about the ‘D & R’ tattooed on my forehead?”
Now, trust me there was no tattoo. He explained, “Do you remember the women in The Scarlett Letter? She committed adultery so the community put an “A” on her clothes so everyone knew what she did. It's like I have a D & R on my forehead: divorced and remarried. Everyone knows it and they look at me like I’m a horrible person. I said, “I hate it when people do that. The truth is we are all sinners and we all need a cross. Maybe Jesus changed the meaning of your tattoo to delivered and redeemed.”
June 2, 2017
Summer is here and for some of you it means the kids are switching homes. Would you like to know how to start it off right?
Helping your kids with the summer sleepover depends on whether you’re sending or receiving. If you’re sending a child schedule a pre-summer conference call with the other household to find out how to pack. Then send your child off with your permission to enjoy their time. If you’re on the receiving end, plan some special activities around their arrival. Now, whether you’re sending or receiving having a good attitude just might translate into a good attitude in your kids, too.
June 1, 2017
Do you want to win at life? Surround yourself with wise people.
Many times the book of Proverbs in the Bible says wise people are more savvy and able to rise above. Proverbs 24:6 says one reason for that is wise people surround themselves with wise people. “In an abundance of counselors,” it says, “There’s victory.” Hey, do you want to excel in life? In your marriage? Your parenting? In your stepfamily? Even in business? Surround yourself with wise Christian followers and let them speak truth into your life. For there is where you will find victory.
May 31, 2017
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Featured Offer
Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.