Digital Jealousy, Connecting Through Vulnerability
September 26, 2019
00:00
This is ironic, in today’s digital world we’re more connected and disconnected than ever before.
Jealousy and envy are at an all-time high in our culture. Why? Because the daily “highlight reel” of social media makes everyone else’s life look perfect. So, while we’re seemingly more connected to other people’s lives, we distance ourselves in envy because our lives don’t compete. The way to truly connect between families and within your family is through transparency. Find the courage to give your family and friends a chance to love the real you; and see if they don’t return the favor.
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In biological families, when a husband and wife move toward each other, they bring their children with them.
Children are blessed when mom and dad love each other and spend time together. But in the beginning in a stepfamily it’s different. When a parent and stepparent spend time together children sometimes feel pushed aside. This naturally puts the biological parent in the middle. That’s a big difference between biological families and blended families. But what’s the same is how God’s instruction to extend grace and apply patience to relationships softens the competition and brings people together.
September 25, 2019
Sometimes life throws you a curve.
My five-year-old daughter adored Mike. They had a great connection and things were going well. But of course, the night before the wedding, she says, “I don’t want you to marry Mike.” I was blindsided. “What’s going on here?” I interviewed Kim Anderson and her husband, Mike, for the FamilyLife Blended podcast. Boy did life throw them a curve. It’s fairly common for the weight of a new marriage to cause hiccups in kids. Don’t panic, just reassure them as you walk through adjustments together.
September 24, 2019
When you get stuck, ask someone to pull you out.
When you struggle how do you know if you need help from an outside source? One indication is you rehash the same territory. One woman wrote that for years her husband talked about his former wife: what went right or wrong, why she left, and how it affected the kids. Clearly he’s stuck—and the comparisons to his former wife are taxing their relationship. If you keep walking in circles and can’t step out of the rut, it’s time to talk to a counselor or pastor. Free yourself and your new family.
September 23, 2019
Ron, he has nothing to do with them. He has completely shut down toward my kids.
I think foster parents and stepparents are heroes because they sacrificially chose to love, provide for, and raise a child not their own, sometimes in difficult circumstances. That’s why it pains me when I hear about a stepparent who is M.I.A. It’s rare, but some refuse to help pay for college, spend one-on-one time with the kids, or to even emotionally engage at all. Hey, when you married the parent you married the package. Don't miss this great opportunity. Bring the gift of you to a child.
September 20, 2019
Someone once said that being nagged is like being nibbled to death by a duck.
Well, it seems the book of Proverbs agrees because five times it makes reference to a quarrelsome spouse who is like a continual dripping of rain, it says. Apparently nagging is like water torture. Why do people nag? Because they are unhappy with something. But the question is, does nagging work? Well, in the short term it might get you what you want but in the long run, it won’t get you what you need: peace and harmony in your relationships. So please, stop nagging.
September 19, 2019
Actions speak much louder than words.
Someone who stands up and stands beside you in tough times, really loves you. After our middle son died, many who we thought were friends drifted away. They couldn’t handle it or us, I’m not sure what happened. But people we didn’t know well stood by and stayed with us. Their friendship was undeniable. In blended families, when a stressful situation arises, standing by one another makes your love undeniable. You may not have felt like family before the stressor but the proof is in the pudding.
September 18, 2019
When we’re suffering, why do we distance ourselves from the suffering Savior?
For some reason, we sometimes hide our pain and suffering from God. But on a FamilyLife Blended podcast speaker Michele Cushatt said God is in the pain. “The place where God connected with His people at the very closest moment was at the foot of the cross, in other words in the place of suffering. So very literally, God was where the pain is and He still is.” Michele reminds us that the suffering Savior is acquainted with grief—and he’s not afraid of ours. Whatever it is, bring it to Him.
September 17, 2019
Now, as far as national days go, Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving I get. But Bologna Day?
There’s Fruitcake Toss Day; Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day; Chocolate Cake Day (I’m an advocate for that one); Work Naked Day (I’m not an advocate for that one); Talk Like Yoda Day; and No Rhyme or Reason Day. If you ask me most of these days have no rhyme or reason. For example, today, September 16 is Collect Rocks Day, Guacamole Day, and National Stepfamily Day. Hey, blended families, today’s your day. So, get out there and collect some rocks, eat guacamole, and celebrate!
September 16, 2019
I once witnessed someone act in a mature, loving way and I learned a lot.
A friend stood up against an injustice. A group of people were standing by when his wife heard about what he did and because he put himself in harm’s way she reacted in anger. He could have gotten defensive that she chastised him in public, but instead he responded gently. Mature friends and lovers stay connected to people even when they are angry with them, and because their focus is on the other person, they can tell when anger is really worry and find a loving spirit even when being attacked.
September 13, 2019
A biological family is born out of hopefulness while a stepfamily is born out of loss.
That sounds strange and it’s not meant to be negative or condescending rather it’s an important observation. Every stepfamily has a loss narrative just below the surface that impacts and influences every aspect of the family. For a child whose parent died, for example, embracing a stepparent can feel like burying their parent again. Sadness impacts bonding. Understanding this helps you listen better, have more patience, and support those you care about. The more you know, the better you love.
September 12, 2019
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.