Every Man’s Battle Podcast

📻 START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist JJ West and Licensed Professional Counselor Doug Barnes continue Season 3 with a crucial conversation on the role of empathy in sexual integrity recovery.​

In this episode, they explore why empathy is not “soft” or optional, but central to healing—from how God empathizes with us, to how we learn to extend empathy to ourselves, and finally how we offer it to the spouses and loved ones we’ve hurt.​

☎️ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 & 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:

1. “What is sexual addiction, really?”
2. JJ and Doug define sexual addiction as misusing sexuality outside God’s will and design to try to change how we feel inside, rather than turning to God and healthy connection.​
3. “Why ‘just stop the behavior’ doesn’t work.”
4. They explain how focusing only on behavior (porn, acting out, affairs) ignores the broken emotions, lies, and internal pain driving those behaviors—and why this becomes a major barrier to empathy and long‑term change.​
5. “When church or spouse says, “Just stop it.’”
6. Many men have been shamed by spouses, churches, or leaders who only address outward behavior and miss the broken heart underneath, leaving men condemned instead of cared for.​
7. “How God models divine empathy.”
8. Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.
9. John 8 – The woman caught in adultery, where Jesus says, “Neither do I condemn you… Go and sin no more,” combining deep compassion with a call to change.
10. Hebrews 4:15 – Jesus as our High Priest who can empathize with our weakness because He was tempted in every way, yet without sin.
11. “Experiencing empathy before offering empathy.”
12. They describe a progression:
13. Receive empathy from God.
14. Learn to extend empathy to yourself instead of self‑hatred.
15. Accept empathy from safe others (like brothers in recovery).
16. Offer empathy to those you’ve hurt—especially a betrayed spouse dealing with grief and triggers.
17. “Empathy vs. sympathy—what’s the difference?”
18. Doug explains:
19. Sympathy: “I feel for you. I’m sorry that happened.”
20. Empathy: “I feel with you. I’m entering into what this feels like for you.”
21. They talk about how many men were only taught sympathy (“I’m sorry”) but never learned how to slow down, be curious, and actually feel with another person.
22. “You can’t give what you don’t have.”
23. If a man has never been allowed to feel or understand his own emotions, the emotions of his wife or kids can feel scary, and he’ll tend to shut down, fix, defend, or explain instead of empathizing. JJ uses a driving example with a couple to show how a husband can move from defensiveness (“You shouldn’t be scared”) to true empathy (“I know what that kind of fear feels like, I’ve been there”).
24. “Jesus wept—with them, not just for them.”
25. They reflect on Jesus at Lazarus’ tomb, who already knew what He would do, but still wept with Mary and Martha in their pain—another powerful picture of God’s empathy in action.
26. “If you’ve been condemned, don’t let that block your healing.”
27. JJ speaks directly to men who’ve been shamed by churches, leaders, or family: don’t let their sin against you keep you from pursuing the healing and empathy God offers you now.​
28. “Where can I learn and practice empathy?”
29. They encourage men to lean into Scripture, safe community, and especially the Every Man’s Battle Intensive and follow‑up groups as places where they can receive empathy and practice offering it to others.​

This episode ends with a teaser: there’s more to say about empathy, so the conversation continues in next week’s episode.

📚 FEATURED RESOURCES & NEXT STEPS:

➡️ 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙫𝙚 (Men’s Sexual Integrity Workshop)

A 3‑day, shame‑free intensive where you’ll:

1. Receive empathy and truth from licensed Christian counselors.
2. Connect with other men who “get it.”
3. Begin changing both your behavior and the heart drivers beneath it.​
4. 👉 Learn more & register:
5. https://newlife.com/workshops/every-mans-battle/
6. ​

➡️ 𝙎𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝘽𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙨

Read more on sexual integrity, empathy, and healing betrayal at New Life’s Sexual Integrity blog category.

👉

https://newlife.com/blog/category/sexual-integrity/

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(You can pair this episode with books mentioned in Episode 1 that deepen empathy and story work, such as Sharon Hersh’s The Last Addiction, Jay Stringer’s Unwanted, and Jason Martinkus’ Worthy of Her Trust.)

📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 – 𝐄𝐌𝐁 𝐏𝐎𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒

Receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast content—extra questions, exercises, and follow‑up tools on empathy and recovery.

👉 Email EMBpodcast@newlife.com with “Bonus Content” in the subject line.​

🎟 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄

New to the Every Man’s Battle Workshop? Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save on your registration fee.​

❓ Submit a question or share feedback anytime:

👉 Email EMBpodcast@newlife.com (put “Podcast Question” in the subject line).​

☎️ Call 800-NEW-LIFE for prayer, resources, or to find a Christian counselor.

👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​

👉 Explore all New Life podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/

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