Eagle Heights Cathedral

Pastor Lopez: Hallelujah. Praise God. You may be seated. Hallelujah. My God. Good morning, Eagle Heights Cathedral family. Bishop and Lady Brenda are on a mission trip with Pastor Leandro and Pastor Jose. They're visiting Eagle Heights Church in Chile. Amen. Praise God.

Bishop left us with an outline. The title of the outline is "The Tongue: To Live or Die." I told security to be ready. I'm just kidding. What we have for you this morning is part one of this message, and it's going to be a dual threat that we're coming at you. I said this morning and I'll say it again: Jesus help me. Help us, Jesus. Seriously, use ears of wisdom.

Father, I give you glory, honor, and praise, and I thank you so much. You're such a good God. Father, you speak to us all the time. So, Father God, I'm praying that I'm nothing but clay, and I know that. But God, whatever is in the heart, let it come out and let it be for your glory. You know every person. You know every detail of every individual that's in this room. Holy Spirit of God, you're such a master. You know how to shape, chisel, break, and redo. You know how to do it. So do it this morning for your glory. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Hallelujah. I'm going to read fast because I don't have a whole lot of time. Pastor Mitchel, I might step into like five minutes, I don't know. We'll see what happens. Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Here's an illustration. Fifteen years ago, a gentleman was driving home with his eight-year-old son after a trip to a grocery store. Traffic was light, the sun was shining, and a cool autumn breeze was in the air. He was quietly singing along to the song playing on the radio. He pulled to a stop at the intersection and looked both ways. The road was clear. He slowly started to make a right turn when suddenly a car rounded a curve at high speed and came straight at him.

He stomped on the brakes of his car, killing the engine in the process. The speeder zoomed past his car without even slowing down, missing him by inches. Before he knew it, a stream of profanity was flying from his lips, chasing after the car and its driver. Then he looked over at his son, who was staring up at him innocently with a red face and an embarrassed smile. He stopped the car, pulled back onto the road, and headed home.

Later that evening, he was reading a book when he heard certain unpleasant words coming from his son's bedroom. He was replaying the incident over and over in his mind and swearing enough to make a sailor blush. Too late, he realized the power of those words had flown from his lips in that moment of anger. It took a lot of talks about good language and bad language with his son to undo the damage of that one incident.

That mistake, however, did teach him just how strong words can be. It helped him to swear off swearing in his own life and to start using words that uplift and inspire instead. He slowly realized that language is a gift of God and should be used to make our world better, not worse. He learned too that a few loving words can help a hurting heart, strengthen a struggling spirit, and lighten a heavy load. He prayed that all of his words today were full of love, joy, happiness, and light. He prayed that everything that comes from his lips flows from his soul.

In your outline, why words are so important. Number one says because of the volume, the sheer volume of words that we use. The scripture is Job 16:3. "Shall words of wind have an end, or what provokes you that you should answer?" The tongue is a very powerful member of the body because of the volume of words that we speak every day. A single word may seem small, but thousands of words spoken over time shape hearts, homes, relationships, our faith, and destiny.

It is vitally important to understand why scripture teaches and emphasizes that the tongue is not merely a sound maker, but it is a spiritual force that reveals and directs the condition of the heart. In Job 16:3 from the New Living Translation, here's how it reads in this version. It says, "Won't you stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep talking?" It's what Job was really saying.

In this instance, Job was overwhelmed by the endless empty words spoken to him by his friends. Their constant talking only added to his pain instead of bringing healing. In this situation, the more Job's friends talked, the greater the injury to Job, because when volumes of words are spoken at once, the risk of worsening distress is more likely. This verse reminds us that words matter, especially because we use so many of them every single day.

It is estimated that the average person speaks countless words in a lifetime. In 2006, studies showed on average a person spoke roughly 16,000 words per day, which adds up to almost six million words a year. These statistics come from a landmark study by a psychologist named Matthias Mehl, who had participants wear microphones that sampled their speech throughout the day. Since 2006, research now shows that the average words spoken per day is slightly between 12,000 to 14,000 words. Man, you talk a lot.

It suggests that people now speak about four to five million words a year. This lower average is due to the different forms of communication that we have today, and one of them is texting. The study's based on the number of words that we speak. It does not take into account the words that we hear from other people or from television, radio, or any other media.

The truth is a person may speak thousands of words daily, and with such a large volume of speech, their words are either going to build up or tear down. They're going to encourage or discourage. They're going to heal or they're going to wound. As written in the book of Proverbs, life and death are said to be in the power of the tongue. As we move forward in this outline, let us keep in mind that as we constantly use words, we constantly release influence, which means that every conversation is an opportunity to either minister life or to spread destruction.

However, from God's perspective, words were never meant to be empty sounds. From God's perspective, God's words are given to accomplish divine purposes. Throughout scripture, God uses words to create, reveal, guide, heal, correct, and bless, and even bring people into relationship with himself. In your outline in number two, why words are so important is because of the amazing power of words. James 3:6 says, "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and it sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire by hell."

What the Bible teaches is that words are not small or insignificant. The power of the spoken word carries influence, direction, emotion, and spiritual weight. While words carry inherent power that God uses for the good, the enemy looks for every opportunity to use words for evil. Think about it. God himself chose words to reveal himself and make himself known to us. God himself chose words as a means of creation. He created the world through words. In Genesis, God said, "Let there be light," and creation responded.

From the beginning of time, the Creator chose words to communicate with his creation, and then God spoke creation into existence and through his speech, he demonstrated divine authority and power. Why is this important for the believer? Because this shows that words are not empty. They release purpose, direction, and influence. Human speech has significance because mankind is created in God's image. While human words do not carry the same unlimited power of God's words, we as believers are called to speak under God's authority. We're talking about kingdom.

To speak in power by the Holy Spirit, guided by his truth and aligned to his will. Because mankind is made in God's image, the believer's speech ought to reflect a part of God's nature. When the believer says what God says, it carries an uncommon authority. God is a speaking God, and humanity was created with the ability to communicate truth, blessing, worship, wisdom, and authority. Throughout scripture, we see that God empowered people to speak on his behalf. Let me give you some examples.

God told two prophets, Jeremiah and Isaiah, "Behold, I put my words in thy mouth." God then told them that the words that they would speak were given by him and he would carry God's authority. God assured Moses that he would empower and direct his speech when he told them, "Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what to say." Even Jesus demonstrated amazing power of words under divine authority. In John 12:49, he said, "I have not spoken of my own, but the Father himself who sent me has given me a command to say everything that I have said."

Now as believers, we're called to represent God through our spoken words, through our messages, through our witness as ambassadors of Christ. The Holy Spirit who spoke through the prophets has not changed, and now he speaks through us. In Luke 12:12, Jesus promised, "For at the time the Holy Spirit will teach you what you shall say." This means that when you face a moment where you need to speak, whether it's in a crisis, whether it's in a public setting, or even in everyday conversation, the Holy Spirit will guide you with the right words.

Jesus made this promise when he told his disciples not to worry about how to defend themselves or what they should say, because the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say. This assurance does not only apply to high-pressure situations, but to any time you need to communicate what God has to say. Now let me turn a corner here and let me go back to James 3:6, because just as the tongue can speak words of blessing, the tongue can also speak words to destroy and to corrupt.

In James 3:5, the part B of that verse and then verse six in the New Living Testament, here's what it says. "The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself." This verse provides us with one of the strongest warnings in scripture about the power of words and the use of the tongue.

On the opposite side of blessing, words can set a fire through angry speech, through gossip, through slander, through lies, through harsh criticism, and even through reckless talk. The tongue may be small, but its impact can be very significant. What God is telling us here is that although the tongue is powerful, it is also dangerous when it's not surrendered to God. Here, James compares the tongue to fire because destructive words can spread quickly, cause significant damage, and affect the entire course of a person's life.

In your outline, number three, why words are so important because of the amount of troubles too many words can get us into. Proverbs 10:19 says, "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise." The New Living Testament reads it like this. "Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut." That's to the point. That's like a shot.

Let me make this simple. Too many careless words bring great amounts of trouble into our lives. Listen with ears of wisdom. It doesn't matter your age. This is to everybody. When the tongue is not governed by godly wisdom, the more words we speak, the greater the opportunity for error. Many troubles in life do not begin with actions. They begin with words that are spoken too quickly.

In an exchange of too many words, one reckless statement can destroy trust, divide families, damage friendships, or create a lasting regret. Words do not stand alone as spoken or as mentioned. Words are spiritual in nature and they carry significance. One reason why too many words can get us into trouble is because what we say is just as important of how we say it. One angry sentence can create a chain reaction that continues far beyond the moment the words were spoken. It has been said when words are many, sin is often close behind.

Too many words can get us into trouble when we speak anger instead of patience. We speak without listening. We talk too much instead of seeking wisdom. We repeat matters that should remain private. We speak proudly or critically. We make promises that we cannot keep, or we speak before praying or even thinking. The point is a person who consistently speaks without restraint will eventually say something that's sinful or harmful. Proverbs 10:19 says, "But he who restrains his lips is wise."

Many of you have probably heard me say this before: what you say stays here, but what you hear, you take with you. Wisdom is not shown by speaking the most, but by speaking the right words at the right time. The scripture in James 1:19 tells us, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak." In Proverbs 15:1, it says, "A soft," meaning a gentle, "answer turns away wrath," meaning anger. All in all, here's the application: a mature believer is not known merely by how much they say, but by the character and the wisdom behind the words. This passage is not condemning all conversation. Scripture encourages godly teaching and encouragement. The warning is against careless speech, uncontrolled talking, and speaking without wisdom.

In your outline, number four, why words are so important because we will be held accountable for our words. Every word we speak matters to God, and scripture teaches that we will one day be held accountable for our words. Jesus gives a sobering warning in Matthew 12:36. He said, "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give an account of it in the day of judgment." What that means is that our speech is never insignificant in the eyes of God. God listens not only to what we say, but also to the spirit that's behind our words.

Our words are important because they reveal the condition of the heart. Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks," because speech exposes the inner man. The more we speak, the more the inner condition is exposed. Continuous complaining, gossip, anger, and negativity reveal spiritual issues within the heart. Likewise, consistent faith-filled, gracious, and wise speech reveals a heart that's shaped by God.

This is why the battle over speech is really a battle about the inner man. Bitter hearts produce bitter words. Faith-filled hearts produce life-giving words. This is why David prayed, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord." The tongue matters because words never stop multiplying. What we repeatedly say eventually shapes what we believe, how we live, and what others become who are around us.

This is important for the man and for the woman of God because our words are constantly sowing seeds into the people that are around us. Every conversation, prayer, correction, and response is planting something. Because we speak so many words over the course of life, we must learn to surrender the tongue to God daily.

As we grow in the Lord, a sign of spiritual maturity includes having discipline over your tongue. Wisdom knows when to speak, how to speak, and when not to say nothing at all. Silence can sometimes be wiser than many explanations. Jesus himself demonstrated restraint before his accusers. He understood that every word carries weight. When Jesus Christ was being arrested to be crucified, he said, "Do you think that I cannot pray to my Father, and he will provide me with more than 12 legions of angels?" A Roman legion contained roughly 6,000 soldiers, so Jesus was declaring that heaven's power was fully available to him in that moment.

If Jesus would have spoken and called on angels, several things would have happened biblically. Number one, his enemies would have been instantly overpowered. The crucifixion would not have been completed because the cross was not forced against Jesus's will. He willingly submitted himself. In John 10:18, he says, "No one takes it," talking about his life. He says, "No one takes it from me. I lay it down by myself." If angels had rescued him, the sacrifice of sin would have remained unfinished. Humanity would have still been separated from God because the payment of sin required a shedding of his blood.

Prophecy would never have been fulfilled. This is why Jesus immediately followed his statement about the angels by saying, "How then could the scriptures be fulfilled? That it must be so." In other words, it has to happen. There would be no atonement for mankind. Without the cross, there would be no forgiveness through blood, no resurrection victory, no reconciliation with God, no salvation through Christ. We would never fully see the depth of God's love. The remarkable truth is not that Jesus lacked power to escape. It is that he possessed all power and still chose the cross for the sake of humanity.

Likewise, we as believers must ask God to guard our mouths so that our words bring peace rather than trouble. David prayed, "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth. Keep the door of my lips." That prayer recognizes an important truth. If the tongue is not surrendered to God, it can quickly lead a person into unnecessary battles, wounds, and even sorrow.

In part two, let's go into the proper use of tongues. Proverbs 10:31 says, "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off." Proverbs 15:7 says, "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so." One of the highest purposes of the tongue is to bring wise counsel and sound advice to others. God did not give speech merely to express opinions, but to communicate truth and to help direct lives in the right path.

To the one who is submitted to God, wise counsel is a gift that can preserve a person from destruction and regret. One of the most refreshing experiences that a person can have is a timely spoken word with wisdom to a discouraged heart. It's refreshing when a word of wisdom restores a failing marriage, or it guides a struggling young person, or it helps someone make a godly decision. Scripture says a word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.

Another passage says the mouth of the just brings forth wisdom. Wise words and sound advice carry great value and it carries great healing. It's in those moments that the tongue becomes powerful when it is guided by wisdom rather than emotion. James 1:5 tells us if anyone lacks wisdom, you should ask God. He gives wisdom generously to anyone who would ask. The book of Proverbs repeatedly teaches that wise speech brings life because counsel rooted in truth protects people from deception and from making foolish decisions. This is why our tongue must be governed carefully.

Let me share some visible signs of proper use of the tongue. It looks to guide rather than manipulate. It seeks to counsel rather than condemn. It wants to restore rather than shame. It speaks to truth with grace and it strengthens faith and wisdom in others. Good counsel and sound advice often requires restraint. People with godly wisdom seek understanding before answering and do not speak hastily or give advice carelessly, but they do it timely. Sometimes the most powerful wise counsel comes from listening deeply and then speaking only what's necessary. Sometimes the best response is fewer words and more grace and prayer and understanding.

If we follow Jesus's example in scriptures, he demonstrated perfect wisdom in speech. His words brought clarity, conviction, healing, and correction and hope. He knew when to speak gently, he knew when to rebuke firmly, but he also knew when to remain silent. When godly wisdom is at work in us, wisdom is not only what we know, but it becomes what we speak because the words of the righteous becomes a source of blessing to others. On the other hand, a corrupt tongue eventually brings judgment and consequences. A tree bears fruit after its own kind. Give the tree time and it's going to expose fruit. Wise people do not keep wisdom hidden. Their speech will spread godly wisdom, their tongue will speak truth, and their words will have understanding and bear righteousness to help others grow.

Rebuke and reproof. James 3:5 in the New King James Version says, "Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool." A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of the fool. Proverbs 27:6 from the New King James Version says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." The New Living Testament says, "Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from the enemy."

God did not give the tongue only to encourage, comfort, and praise. He also gave it to correct, warn, and to restore. Many people struggle to receive biblical rebuke and reproof because rebuke touches areas of pride and self-will and personal blind spots. Scripture teaches that correction is not meant to condemn but to restore, to teach, to guide God's people into righteousness. Proper use of the tongue includes bringing rebuke and reproof according to God's word.

Godly correction is not meant to condemn but to restore, to protect, to guide and to bring people back into the truth. Biblical rebuke and reproof are not weapons to destroy you. They are tools that God uses to bring conviction, repentance, and spiritual growth. It might not feel good for the moment, but it will heal and bring you up. But here's the problem. Second Timothy 3:2 says, "In the last days, men shall be lovers of themselves and exhibit self-centered behaviors away from the call to love God and to love others." We're living in that day today.

The passage warns that pride makes a person believe that they're right and that they don't need instruction. Proverbs 15:5 says, "A fool despises his father's instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent." When pride governs the heart, even loving correction can feel like a personal attack rather than an act of care. Biblical rebuke and reproof is meant to be an expression of love, not rejection. While rebuke is intended to correct behavior, biblical reproof shines God's light on attitudes, on words, on actions that need to change. People often welcome encouragement but find correction uncomfortable because it reveals areas that require repentance.

The purpose of rebuke and reproof is to stop us in our tracks so that we can turn around. Some hear, "You did wrong," but here's how they interpret it: "You are worthless." But God's correction is different. In Proverbs 3:12 in the New Living Testament, it tells us, "For the Lord corrects those that he loves, just as a father corrects a child whom he delights." The natural human tendency is to defend itself rather than submit. Romans 8:7 says the carnal mind is an enmity against God. The flesh seeks comfort and self-justification, while the spirit seeks to lead us toward humility and growth.

This is why scripture commands believers to speak truth in love. Let your speech always be of grace. The goal is never to win an argument, it's to win the soul. Although God often uses words of correction to awaken people spiritually, spiritually mature believers welcome correction because they desire growth more than they do pride. Faithful correction is a sign of genuine care. A man or a woman of God who truly loves people will not remain silent when sin, error, or danger is present. David received correction from Nathan. Peter received correction from Jesus. A submitted heart to God does not ask, "Who are you to correct me?" Instead, he or she says, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me through this correction?" That attitude turns rebuke into wisdom. It turns reproof into growth and discipline into spiritual maturity.

Pastor Mitchel: You know what the crazy part about listening to the word as you're just sitting there? It doesn't matter how much you go through it. As I'm sitting there as Pastor Lopez is preaching, I got hit a little bit. Yesterday my son had a football game and his team got destroyed. I'm talking about like, "Yo, what happened? Are we playing football?" Anyway, it's flag football. But the concept is they got beat. As my son comes out and everything's happening, and the reason I say this is because how you communicate with your kids, it hurts because I did something that really hurt me as he was preaching.

My son, one of my daughters said, "Yo, they said good game and you did good." They said something to encourage. And I looked at them and I looked at him and I said, "You could have done better." After saying that, you could see the demeanor shift and change. And I knew he was hurt. Then at the same time, God looked at me just like a voice and said, "And you wonder why he doesn't encourage others." I was doing it because I thought I was being encouraging. After I hugged him and I grabbed him and I said, "Son, what's up?" and I asked him, "What's the matter?" and he wouldn't tell me. I finally got it out of him. It was the words that I said to you. He said, "A little bit."

Then I had to explain to him the reason I said those words is because I was trying to encourage you. But sometimes we try to encourage people the way we think we should encourage. In reality, we should be encouraging people the way the Lord intended us to encourage. As I was sitting there, I was like, "Lord, what is happening?" My eyes are getting... whoa, there's no need for all that. Anyway, on that note, point number three is the proper use of our tongues is to bring encouragement.

Proverbs 15:4 says, "Gentle words are a tree of life. A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." When it's talking about a soothing tongue, it suggests speech that heals and encourages. It really builds up. It's constructive, reflecting the wisdom that comes from a heart aligned with God's will, not with a heart that thinks this is how it should be done. Encouragement is the idea of strengthening one another and to really help the person, especially when they are facing difficulties and spiritual challenges.

Sometimes we don't realize but when we encourage other people, we come alongside them, we counsel them, we uplift them. It's very important to really encourage each other because we see it in Hebrews 3:13 where it says, "But encourage one another daily as long as it is called today, so that none of you be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Daily encouragement means to offer consistent support, motivation in faith, reminding one another of the truth of God's promise, especially in the time when we feel weary and to build each other up.

Heading to the other one, point number four in proper use of the tongues. And it is to bring the message of eternal life to others. Honestly, if I could be real with you, this is for me one of the, and as the body of Christ, it's one of the most important parts of our tongue is sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, the gospel, with everyone around us. Proverbs 11:30 says, "The fruit of a righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins a soul is wise."

Like I said earlier, one of the most amazing parts of the tongue is to be able to tell people about the kingdom of God. To really speak to them about what the kingdom is about, to really speak to them about Jesus, to evangelize and make disciples. It's a central part of the Great Commission that Jesus gave us in Matthew 28. Sometimes, honestly as a church, we take it so lightly. When it says and he who wins souls is wise, it's not just a mere wisdom but it's a wisdom of mere to understand a spiritual reflection, understanding the heart of God who desires all to be saved in First Timothy 2:4. The act of winning souls is a reflection of the mission that Christ has for us.

Now we started the flight a little bit good. We're going to get in the bumpy grounds and I might leave y'all bumpy to part two next week. As I get into this, I want you to really listen with your ears. There's a purpose that Pastor Lopez keeps saying as we met, we were talking. He was like, "Yo, sometimes we get in there and we hear the points that we're trying to make and we take them lightly because you tell yourself I've heard this before. I know, I got it. It's cool, not this guy."

Anybody here with kids understands that kids be telling you they're the most the realist person around you, especially when they love you a lot. I just keep telling myself this is just love. That's why they're so honest with me. But one of my children, the oldest one, one time I was around her and I said, "Yo, I'm a very optimistic person." She turned and said, "You?" I don't remember the full thing, but I remember being insulted. I was like, "What? Ask your moms." I was like, "Where do you rank me? Maybe number three." I'm number three? I think my wife be like, "You a little too optimistic. It's like, yo, Jesus got it, babe." She's like, "Okay, I know, but you know..."

Whatever, and I was like, "Lord." I had to walk away. Not because I was annoyed, but I was confused. I'm like, "Really? Me?" Then I was going to ask the other kids but I said, "Nah, that might go bad. I don't want to do all that." Anyway, the whole point of me saying that is that I went back and I started reflecting and I said, "You know what? Let me ask the one person that I know be honest with me and I could believe, and that would be Jesus." I prayed to Lord, "God, I need you to tell me." As I was there, God said, "Yo, it wasn't any more fun." But the concept was that sometimes you think you're doing something that you're really not. I'm like, "Lord, I'm moving very optimistically," but sometimes people see it as no, you might be thinking you're moving but you're moving... I see negativity. I was like, "Lord, I'm speaking truth." It's still coming out very negative. And I said, "All right, Lord," and I took that time to reflect and say, "All right, Lord, I ain't as good as I thought."

All that to say is, as I say these next points, don't think you're as good as you thought. Don't think you hear these and you go, "Yo, that ain't me, I'm good." I'm going to try to bang these out as quick as I can. Number one, to cause quarreling. I got that. I hope so. Listen, when I was going through this, I said squirrel so many times. Proverbs 18 says a fool's words gets them into constant quarrels. They're asking for a beating. One version even goes, and the version that I like in this one, it says, "Do him a favor and gag him." What that means is if a person's talking too much, if they're quarreling too much, you take a rag or your hand and just... whoop. I'm as safe as the next person, but I'm here to tell you that there are some people around me that you just want to... whoop. They be talking too much and you just... whoop. You know what I mean? And you could say it's in the Bible so I could... no, don't do that, don't do that. It's in there, but don't do it.

But on a serious note, that act that the Bible is telling you to go that far sometimes, the concept is it speaks to you to protect others. It's to protect that person from preventing saying something that they would regret or go further than they ever intended to, because a person that quarrels just goes and goes and you're like, "Bro, stop." And sometimes the Bible said you just... whoop.

I want to define quarreling for you because in my head, I've always had this word as it's just a person that likes to argue, but this word goes a little bit deeper. And it defines it this way. I found a couple definitions: an angry argument or disagreement, petty verbal disagreement or dispute. Another one says engaging in an argument or dispute, but often characterized by anger, hostility, and a lack of resolution.

A person who causes quarreling does more harm than they even know. Like I said, it goes way deeper than arguing, and the reason it goes deeper than arguing is because most of the time the person that quarrels literally loses sight of the bigger picture. They lose sight of the relationship that they even have with the person. It happens in our marriage, it happens with our kids, it happens with our friends, and because teenagers here, I'll include y'all too with your parents.

We end up caring more about being right than righteous. We end up caring more about making the point than their feelings. Your pride becomes more important than their heart. Again, this is for everyone, but honestly, especially in married folks, this one is the biggest thing that destroys marriage. Quarreling becomes a part of your normal. It becomes a part of your identity, and it's about the stupidest, silliest thing sometimes. Not understanding that it's like acid that you're pouring on your relationships. It's like acid that you're pouring in your marriage, slowly dissolving it and breaking what God has called you to be one. You're just slowly tearing it apart.

Husband, because I can, I'm going to call all of us out a little bit. You being the covering for your family, this proverb is for everybody but I really think as a covering it hits us deeper. Proverbs 15:18 says, "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel." What I mean by that is you could be like Pastor Mitchel, "Listen, you don't understand. She just keeps coming after me and there's nothing I could do." I tell you, keep reading Proverbs 15, sir. Keep coming to Jesus. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, trust me. I struggle with it myself, but not because of my wife, but she has her part, right? We all do. It's a two thing. But when you keep leaning in Jesus and you really keep coming to him, God will really help you to be the covering that you ought to be for your wife.

When quarrels happen, especially in a relationship, don't think it just started yesterday. It's been building up. So now it's our job to try to fix it up. And honestly, once you start really not being defensive and really say, "Yo, I ain't here trying to argue, I'm trying to build us up. I'm trying to calm what's happening," you will start seeing changes because remember quarreling takes two people. One person can't go at it by themselves. They will, but after a while they'll be like, "Yo, I'm a little crazy. I really am the problem. Trust me." You know what I mean?

Point number two is to spread gossip. Ways that your tongue really should not be used is to spread gossip. Proverbs 16:28 says, "A troublemaker plants seeds of strife. Gossip and separate the best of friends." Proverbs 17:9 says, "He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends." Believe it or not, there are different types of gossip. Some of them are just excuses to gossip, but there's different ones.

There are even types that people don't call gossip that the concept is you tell somebody about somebody, you might not know the full story, but you're like, "Yo, homeboy you trying to date, mm-mm, you know. Yo, that girl you trying to see, mm-mm. Yo, listen, I'm just trying to protect you." There are people that come from a good place like, "Yo, as a friend, I'm just trying to protect you." Right? And then you leave it there. That's it. You do what you want. I won't even say I told you so. I just leave it there.

But the one that we're talking about is intentionally spreading rumors, poor information, acting on assumptions to hurt someone's reputation. Or in reality, even if you're not intentional to hurt their reputation, it ends up doing it anyways. Gossip could be defined in many ways. It's idle talk, rumors about a private life, a secret, personal matter of others, and usually refers to something or someone and they're not even there when you talk about them.

It's dangerous because sometimes we say, "Yo, I just need to vent to somebody." It's usually how it starts. But that usually creates a cycle, and it creates something where we all start venting and we start talking about people, which eventually creates a gossip circle that does not become fruitful. Friendships and relationships are built on gossip, which is a big thing. And times people around you might literally be around you just to get info of other people. Even though you might be close to them, some of y'all get close to people to get info for them for other people. It becomes a social bonding and connection and the whole time you're being unfruitful.

Sometimes we forget that gossip ruins reputations, destroys family, and even destroy churches. In Proverbs 17:9, when it speaks and it emphasizes the value of forgiveness and maintaining relationships, when it talks about concealing an offense, it doesn't mean ignoring what the person has done to you, but rather it's choosing not to dwell on it. What I mean by that is that sometimes some people become asking for forgiveness and you move forward, but you really didn't move forward. You dwell on it because you keep talking about it. In no way is it helping. Even if it's been resolved, forgiven, somehow it still comes up. And the act of bringing up the offense can lead to bitterness and division and it messes with unity.

Gossip and quarreling, yo, they go together. Proverbs 26:20 says, "Fire goes out without wood and quarrels disappear when gossip stops." I was like, "Yo, Lord, they connected?" So for some of you, what will help you with your gossip is if you stop quarreling, if you stop complaining, if you stop holding onto things so deeply. For you married couples, the reality is if you stop gossiping about your spouse with your friends, with your family, yo, watch some of those fights go away when you start really saying, "You know what? I'm going to keep this between us and really work on it," instead of complaining to my parents, to my sibling, to my best friend that's on the side, to the opposite sex sometimes. Because at the end of the day, that's just adding to the fire and you're just calling it venting.

Number three that I have is to manipulate by flattery. Now the scripture that we have for this is Proverbs 26:28 and Proverbs 28:23. A lying tongue hates victims and flattery words causes ruins. Flattery often serves as a tool of manipulation and deceit and going away from the path of righteousness. Before I started digging deep into this flattery thing, in reality, I didn't think it was as bad as it was. I was like, "Lord, I've been doing flattery too much." I knew it wasn't the greatest, but I didn't know it was this crazy, Lord. Some of y'all be trying to get that discount. I get it. It's true.

In the Bible we see many people that use flattery, way more than I thought would. But the one that I personally like is Daniel. In Daniel 6, Daniel himself was picked out. He was part Israelite, they bring in the king, they get captive, but the king uses him with a bunch of other men, 120 and Daniel. Under these 120, Daniel and two other dudes are picked as the top three people. That's kind of annoying, this guy that got captured, top three. What are we doing here?

But the man worked so well that the king said, "Dude, I'm making you number one." That's how good he was. And Daniel said, "Cool, no problem. I got no issues." But the problem is everybody else had an issue because if he becomes number one, he controls everything, he governs us all, nobody wants that. So what happens here is that all of a sudden these dudes say, "Yo, we got to talk to the king," and they very smart. They were wise and they start flattering this guy. They said, "King, you're so amazing. Those rules you put, mm-mm, nobody's greater than you. We think you're so great that we should put that we only pray to you and no other God, nobody else, just you for 30 days."

They knew Daniel prayed every day three times. They knew if they set this rule up, Daniel falls. And this king was so flattered he's like, "Oh my goodness, I am pretty good. You know what? Let's do it." Quickly without thinking makes a decision and says, "Yo, we putting this rule." Later to find out the king finds out his favorite person is the one that's being put in the lions' den all because he felt for the flattery.

Story ends, Daniel lives great and everybody that tried to do their whole little flattery game, they all end up dying because God took over. But the whole concept here is that we use flattery to deceit and get our way. You might not know, but in the workplace, man, you know you don't care for that boss sometimes, but you tell them whatever they got to hear to try to move up in position. You might not feel in the restaurant, you might not be feeling the server, but man, you as kind as you are, maybe he give you free dessert because of the difference between being kind and moving in flattery.

Sometimes when you're moving in kindness, you're doing it just the abundance of your heart. I'm going to love you because of Christ. I'm going to cheer you, I'm going to be here because I'm going to love you and we're going to all have a blast together. But flattery says I'm going to love you but I would like something in return. And that's how it moves. At some point or another, we've been guilty of flattery. And sometimes we do it thinking that we're just being extra nice, but in reality, there's something behind there that we're thinking about.

Flattery is insincere praise and avoids really helping other people. Flattery at the end of the day is selfish. The verse in Proverbs says to rebuke. It's better to rebuke than give flattery and to be honest with you, in reality, it's easy to just flatter somebody than rebuke them. But flattery does nothing for you. Even though rebuking is difficult and the benefits may not be immediate, at the end of the day they will manifest over time, especially when we do it in love and especially because we know that's how the Lord would love us to move.

Point number four: to lie. In the Bible, lying is always consistently condemned and detestable, and it's often used to describe things that are repulsive to God, indicating a strong divine disapproval. Even sometimes we be like, "Yo, it's just little white lies." At the end of the day, the Bible speaks on principles about truth and deception, guiding to uphold honesty in everything that we do.

Point number five is to seduce evil. The definition of seduce is to persuade, entice, and lure someone into acting, into action or relationship. Seducing evil in reality is someone, when you seduce evil, it's that someone that you should not be trying to go after. It's that one person that values nothing that Christ does, it's that one person that doesn't even move in the same belief system that you move. One of our scriptures here is Proverbs 6. It talks about an evil woman, but it doesn't, this is not literal just a literal intent of an evil woman. It's a person that symbols temptation and moral danger, someone that is pushing you away from the values of God and someone that is tempting you.

When you use your tongue to seduce evil, you're using your tongue to try to get with that person, with a person that you know you have no business trying to get with. Proverbs 22 talks about the adulteress. In here again, it talks about a pit. This pit symbolizes difficulties to escape. What it emphasizes is the potential is if you keep going and you keep maneuvering in a way where you keep going after and seducing evil, you're going after something you're not supposed to. Once you start getting buried in that pit, it's almost impossible to get out. All that to say is stop using your tongue to seduce someone that you know that you should not try to be with and that the Lord never told you to be with. No matter how funny, how amazing, how beautiful, how built, how tall, how attractive, how much listening they're doing. That person is not for you, so stop trying to go after them.

My last point: your tongue really is not meant for you to talk so much. If most of you guys who know me here, I have an issue with talking. I tend to talk too much. I have no problem admitting that. If you don't want to hear me, just meet me in the morning and I won't talk to you. I'll give you a "mm-hm" and I keep walking. I've gotten better though. It gets so bad that when people see that I'm quiet, they're like, "Yo, are you okay?" And that's how I know it's bad. I'm just tired. "You good?" I'm okay. You know? And then I walk away going, "Dang, I look that bad just as I haven't been talking?"

The ability to hold one's tongue is a marker of self-discipline and spiritual maturity because a person that spends more time talking, they miss opportunities of growth because we fill conversation with our words and we limit the capacity of other and God's wisdom. To be honest with you, my oldest son that I was talking about earlier, Michel, the one with the football, yo, he's the one that I bump the most heads with. The reason is because he reminds me of me. He is me, and I don't know how to deal with me.

I pray more for my mother because she did great dealing with me by herself. But all that to say is that I don't know how to deal with me. But me himself, I said, "Yo, God has given me an opportunity," because homeboy, we could walk, we could drive, we could hike, whatever it is, he always has something to say up in the morning, up at night. I'm like, "Oh, bro, stop talking." It's early in the morning. What are we doing? I don't want to talk to you. But I don't say that because I don't want to discourage him. He be asking me weird random things. I don't know what I would rather you do, stop talking.

God's shown me and says, "Yo, sometimes that be you." I don't talk that much. He goes, "Oh, son." Damn, really? No wonder people looking at me like he's still going. You see your spouses, you see that face when they make your face you're like, "Oh my goodness." Anyway, all that to say is even though I've had a hard time, it has helped me to lean on. The Lord said, "Yo, son, I just need you to quiet more sometimes. I need you to listen sometimes." That has built me up to tell my son, "Hey, son, you talk a lot, and that's not a problem, but you say a lot of idle words that have not much meaning. You don't like silence. Silence is okay."

Through that God said, "You heard that?" I said, "Yes, Lord, I heard myself talk to him talk to me. Silence is okay." So as I close, as I say the last point, let God guide your words. Don't feel like you always have to talk. Let God guide your conversations and how you should move because like Pastor Lopez said, those that use few words, there's wisdom there. One thing that I've learned out of many things is that at the end of the day, those that talk a lot, many people are not listening because your words are so light. But when you hold back in wisdom and you speak, people say, "Yo, he has something to say because he doesn't just idle speak." So like I said, let God guide your words.

Bishop James E. Collins: I want to thank you for joining us today and for watching this message on our stream. We are flowing now from the worship of hearing and receiving God's word into the worship aspect of giving into the kingdom of God. As God has spoken to your heart, I pray that you're able to join us in giving and bringing him his tithe and our offering.

I want to share a little piece that's very interesting that you might even find interesting. People were asked how much money would it take for us to have enough money. Remarkably, every person said, if I could have a 10% increase, it would be enough for me to live and have a comfortable lifestyle. I share that with you because it's interesting that God says, but if you will give me 10% in Malachi 3 in verses eight through verse 11, he talks about if you give me the 10%, he says you will have more than enough, there will be an overflow.

Why is that number significant in your giving today? The number is significant in that in your desire to live and have a healthy life, you want 10%. God says, if you give me 10%, I'll make your 10% multiply in your life. As God leads your heart today, I ask you to first be obedient to the Lord and bring that 10%, that tithe, and then let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart as you give an offering above that. That will open the windows of heaven.

I thank you in advance for your faithfulness in giving to the work of the kingdom so that we might expand God's kingdom. Let me pray for you now. Father, I thank you for these that have committed this day to be obedient to your word. Because, Lord, they understand that sometimes thanksgiving is merely an act of obedience. Since we are thankful people, we obey you this day to bring you your tithe and to give our offering. We thank you in advance that you will open the windows of heaven, pour out blessing we will not have room to receive. We will be blessed spirit, soul, and body, and this we pray and believe for in Jesus' name. Amen.

Just lift your hands where you are. Though you may not be in this sanctuary, you become aware that we have words on this wall that are not just words. They are the biblical words from the very throne room of heaven. Let me speak them over your life. May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace. God bless you as you receive it.