Dwelling Place

Guest (Male): Fathers have an important role of authority in the home, and that includes leading spiritually. Here's Pastor Al Pittman.

Al Pittman: The child is to be under submission to the father. And daddy is supposed to be saying, well kids, what do you think? Well, that's wonderful to get their opinion, but okay kids, thank you for your your input, but this is what I believe God wants us to do. And the family lines up with the father and they go and they follow follow the father instead of father following the children all around. They get mad at this youth leader, that person. They're going to that church and that church, bouncing around town, following the kids. Something is wrong.

Fathers ought to be leading their families, called to be leaders, not followers.

Guest (Male): Calvary Worship Center in Colorado Springs presents The Dwelling Place with Pastor Al Pittman. For the last couple of broadcasts, Al has been discussing husbands and wives. And today, we're going to move along to the other members of the family, the kids. Children are a real blessing and a real challenge, but God knows what's best when it comes to raising godly children. I think we can all testify to the fact that there are a lot of parents out there who could really use a refresher course raising kids properly. Here's Pastor Al.

Al Pittman: To continue our study, it seems as Paul is taking on actually three looking at three different relationships toward the end of this chapter. We saw last week the husband and wife and today we'll talk about the father child relationship. And the next week, the servant master relationship or employer employee relationship. All of these are in Christ and are and ought to bring glory to God if indeed we recognize God's divine order. So this is faith relations part two father and child relationship. As Paul writes in Colossians chapter 3 verse 20 and 21 children. There's you get all the kids from the children's ministry in here now to hear this, but but children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing in the Lord.

And fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. The enemy loves to use of course one of his favorite weapons is discouragement. And I would submit to you this morning that we have a generation of children who are discouraged because they are fatherless. Had the privilege of attending the homegoing of one of our members this past week. It's family's name and all is in the bulletin, but brother Bob Parks went home to be with the Lord. And we see Bob every Sunday at the door and he always have a smile for me. Lovely wife Yako and their daughters.

We at this funeral service the other day. It was just such a blessing to to see the legacy of a of a father after God's own heart. You can see the impression and the imprint of his life and the life of his wife and his children and his son in laws. It was just impressive and I thought man, that's the way to go out. You know. And he knew he was going. In fact, he told someone that the day before he went home to be with the Lord, he said I'm going home tomorrow. Amen. I hope God gives me that kind of notice before I go, you know, just I can kind of come tell you won't be here next Sunday.

God bless you. I'm going home, you know. But the legacy of a father fathers, we live in a society where there's an epidemic of father father within fatherhood, a epidemic if you will of fatherlessness. Senator by the name of Anna Coles of the Parliament of Canada. And an address to the International Fatherhood Conference on May 27th 2002 in Washington D.C. shared I believe a timely message with the Fatherhood Conference and I took a portion of that I wanted to read it to you this morning because I share her sentiments and and relationship to fatherlessness in our country.

And I believe this is what Paul is drawing the attention again to fathers, yes to children, but primarily as we'll see to fathers and our responsibility within the home in society. Again, don't tune me out if you're not a father. Uh this is a message for all of us because in that relationship we see a reflection of our relationship with God. But Senator Anne Coles, is her name, Coles. I think I said Coles. It's Coles. She writes, ladies and gentlemen, all social science tells us that fatherlessness is a major social problem as due to public opinion surveys.

A 1996 Gallup poll on father and entitled Fathers in America commissioned by the National Center for Fathering based in based in Kansas, excuse me, revealed that 79.1% of Americans agree that the most significant social problem facing America is fatherlessness and father absence. In a 1990 article entitled The Progressive Family Policy for the 1990s published by the Progressive Policy Institute, social scientist Elaine Cejula Camrack uh and William A. Galston addressed the enormous social consequences of fatherlessness and they said, and she quotes them here, the economic consequences of a parent's absence, almost always the father are often accompanied by psychological consequences which include higher than average levels of youth suicide, low intellectual and educational performance and higher than average rates of mental illness, violence and drug use.

Equally suggestive is the anecdotal evidence of the difficulties many young single mothers experience in raising their sons. The absence of fathers as models and co-disciplinarian co-disciplinarians is thought to contribute to the low self-esteem, anger, violence and peer bonding through gang membership of many fatherless boys, close quote. There is an epidemic of fatherlessness in our country. A need for fathers and of course Paul speaking here to Christian fathers to take on the leadership as or to the the own the responsibility of fatherhood. And of course fatherhood means more than fathering children. And we have a lot of that going on in society, but very few fathers.

And I thank God for the father I had. He wasn't perfect, but man I tell you it's so true. You know, without that that strong hand on the back of your neck. Amen. That firm grip. I never forget the time I said something really smart to my mother. Oh my Lord. We're in a public place and dad took me to a walk to the bathroom. I was like I was teenager. I was like I think probably 17. Just go to bathroom. Anyway uh all he said, I won't tell you everything because I can't remember everything he said.

I think it was a shock, but uh he just looked at me and said, if you ever talk to my wife that way again always your wife. I thought she was my mom. He was setting the record straight. You ever talk to my wife like that again, he said, I'm you know, you going to have to deal with me like a man. And I knew what he meant and uh you know, yes sir. You know. But that strong hand times when I needed it kept me out of situations that could have gotten into. Fathers are desperately needed, especially in the lives of young men.

And I believe that even as uh just a kind of a thought, I mean my vision really for our men's ministry here at Calvary is that it would just not be a self-serving ministry, but that we would take ownership in co uh investing in the lives of the young men of our own church. We don't just gather on Saturday men's prayer breakfast so we can eat eggs and sit around, drink coffee and talk shop or whatever, but that we come together. We're inviting young men to come with us. Some maybe young men who don't have a father, a fathers have gone off.

We have a responsibility as men of this church to reach out to the young men within our church. And we have a lot of youth that come here that you know, we see them to be an encouragement to them through our men. I think that's the essence of men's ministry. I really do. And if we're not doing that, I think we fail the young men of our church. God has placed a premium on fatherhood. And as one theologian said, God is always previous. God is always before man. Man finally catches up to God. But long before, God has always placed an importance upon fatherhood and relationship to our children.

Paul addresses this issue in his letter to the Colossian church, stressing the importance of a father's role within the life of a child. It doesn't condemn those who have grown up without a father or those of us who have grown up with a father who was abusive. It doesn't condemn us or or anything like that. I mean it it's uh it doesn't and it doesn't negate the importance of the the role. But Paul is simply stressing that those of us who call ourselves by the name of Christ ought to indeed be fathers in the image of our heavenly father to our children.

But firstly, it begins with the role of the child. And all of us are children. Some of our parents are still with us and those of us who are older and we are to honor and to respect them as well. But he is speaking here to minor children. As Paul says first to children, children obey your parents. Again, he's stressing the order of God because there is protection and covering in that order. And this is the commandment of submission as we saw with the commandment of the the husband relationship between the husband and wife. But it again it's for the protection and edification of the child just as the wife is submitting to her husband for her protection and edification as well.

It's God's design and order for the family we see here when he says children, you ought to obey your parents.

Guest (Male): We'll pause right here, but Pastor Al will be back in a few moments with part two of today's message in Colossians chapter 3. But first, I want to thank you for being a faithful listener to the Dwelling Place. And we would ask you to pray for this radio ministry as we seek to reach the world with the gospel. And to do that, we could use your help. Would you pray about partnering with us financially? To join our support team, please give us a call at 844 221 3363 or visit our website at cwcccs.org. And we have a brand new address to share with you for Pastor Al's podcast.

It's anchor.fm/cwcccs-podcast. That's anchor.fm/cwcccs-podcast. Now let's return to today's message in Colossians chapter 3. Here's Pastor Al Pittman.

Al Pittman: Minor children throughout ancient history including under the Old Testament law were expected to obey their parents. As my mother used to always tell us children, I'm not asking for respect, I'm demanding it. Amen. We are to respect our parents. Minor children are to respect their parents. In fact, the fifth commandment of the of the 10 of the 10 commandments found in Exodus 20 verse 12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, the fifth commandment says that we are to honor to honor your mother and father as the Lord your God has commanded you that your days may be long and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God has given you.

The commandment with a promise is the one that speaks of honoring our fathers and mothers. Children who dishonor their parents according to scripture shorten their days on earth and face all manner of unnecessary problems. The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy chapter 21 verses 18 to 21 that children as children, as minor children in the home they are to live a life live in such a way rather to bring honor to their parents in society. I always think of as a young man coming up, I would think many times a lot of things I wouldn't get into because I would think about how it would hurt my mother.

You know, I don't want my mom driving down to the prison to see me. You know, I don't want them to have to come bail me out of a situation. They've had to come help me out of situations, but as I got older, I just that you know, I don't want to bring that burden on them. I want to honor and respect them in my life and in society. That's honoring and respecting your parents to live a life as a Christian, as a child that has faith in Christ as a as a even as an adult, I believe, to honor your parents by living in such a way that it brings honor to them in society.

The Bible says that we are to honor our fathers and mothers, our father and mother, that it may be well with us. Well is an interesting word and the Hebrew word for well in its literal and figurative sense means a beautiful sound or a happy successful or to be right. To be happy, successful or right, a beautiful but a beautiful sound. Your parents hear you knocking at the door. It's a beautiful sound to their ear rather than don't open it. You know. They're glad to see you come around. Oh you welcome to them. It's a way we ought to live.

As children ought to be in the home a blessing. And we know that they need correction and guidance and all of that, but the Bible says this is, Paul says, well pleasing to the Lord. Not only our parents to please the Lord, but children ought to please the Lord. Obedience produces a beautiful sound, grants happiness and success you could say and brings the child into a right harmonious relationship with the parents. Proverbs chapter 10 verse 1 says a wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son or daughter for that matter is the grief of his mother.

When children are running the home, something's wrong. And I know you know, when people are looking for a church to go to, they're looking for different places and they want to make sure, and this is important, that's why we invest so much in our children's ministry. That why we're investing looking at building a new facility and all that because we believe in our children here at Calvary Worship Center. And we believe that that that ministry is not under the ministry that happens in the sanctuary, but it's equal to the ministry that goes on here in the sanctuary.

And so we believe in investing our children. We hire people for to staff that and and all all of those things. We invite kids to come to our Awana ministry on Wednesday night at no charge. And it costs thousands of dollars to do it, but we do it because we believe we don't want to turn one single mother away with her children. They know, bring them. Let them come or any single parent, father or mother. You can bring your children. We believe in the children, but you know that children they're in the home and and and we we you know, we know that children's ministry is important when people looking for churches, but the children shouldn't be making a decision where they're going to go the family's going to go to church.

And sometimes parents will do that. I think that's going to the extreme of saying, well, you know, we really like the church and my husband is blessed we're here, but but little Joey, you know, he doesn't really like the nursery or whatever. Well, hold little Joey out in the foyer because fathers, you need to be praying and saying, God, is this where you want me? I don't care if my child's in rebellion. The child is to be under submission to the father. And daddy is supposed to be saying, well kids, what do you think? Well, that's wonderful to get their opinion, but okay kids, thank you for your your input, but this is what I believe God wants us to do.

And the family lines up with the father and they go and they father follow the father instead of father following the children all around. They get mad at this youth leader, that person. They're going to that church and that church, bouncing around town, following the kids. Something is wrong. Fathers ought to be leading their families, called to be leaders, not followers. Fathers are given the responsibility by God to direct their children, not to be directed by their children. It is good for children to obey uh their parents. Again, it's God's order and when you violate that order and the parents are directing or the children are directing the parents, the house is in chaos.

Fathers are to take the lead in this matter and direct their children. But Paul says not through provocation, not provoking your children. Let's move on to the second point. As Paul says in verse 21, fathers do not provoke your children lest they be discouraged. In the Hebrew culture, fathers were responsible for the child's education. Do you know that? Rearing children is indeed a responsibility shared by mom and dad alike and and it takes both parents. However, here Paul targets the fathers. I always wonder, why do you say Paul here fathers and mothers, you know? But he says fathers.

Why? Well, I believe because Paul understood the meaning of Proverbs 17:6 is the Bible says children's children are the crown of old men and the glory of children is their father. I might add that the glory of children is their father and the afterglow of children is the grandfathers. Grandpa is always in the afterglow, isn't he? He's always smiling. He's always got a quarter for you. Hey buddy, you know? It's like Bill Cosby says, you know, my dad would just you know, give my kids money. He said now here's the same man that I used to ask a quarter from and I'd have to you know, jump through hoops just to get a quarter from him.

But when the grandkids come over, hey come over. Grandpa's got the money for you, you know. I can't believe this guy. I couldn't get a dollar out of this guy, you know. But grandpa's are glowing and and always good to be around and happy because grandpa's know they can always send you back home. Amen. If fathers are the glory of children, no wonder so many people in a fallen world are so messed up in relationship to their view of who God is because many fathers have failed to portray the essence of who God is. The Hebrew word for glory Proverbs 17:6 means or it implies an ornamental beauty, honor and majesty.

In other words, a father has been given to his children by God as in to adorn the children, to be a blessing in their life, not to oppress the child. Yet today, we have a generation of kids who who have no such covering. Their fathers don't reflect the essence of who God is. And so therefore they they they feel valueless. There is no glory covering them. They're being provoked. Fathers are frustrated not knowing what to do because they're not relying upon God, so they provoke their kids, threaten them. And the children feel valueless and they find it easy in such a an an atmosphere to devalue life.

The recent murder of a famous defense attorney's wife, you read in the paper and heard on the news, who was clubbed to death in her own home was killed by a 16 year old kid. It only magnifies the fact that children desperately need leadership and guidance. Children desperately need a covering of glory. Fathers need to know they have a heavenly father so that they can reflect the the love and the essence of who God is upon their children and adorn them with beauty and honor and majesty. Kids without a spiritual covering will always seek validation elsewhere.

Children without a spiritual covering will always seek validation elsewhere. And sometimes I believe the reason these kids are turning to these things is because they they're trying to find value and be validated somewhere else because fathers many times have neglected their role or Christian fathers many times are not following the Lord and reflecting the essence of who Jesus is and being a covering for the child, adorning their life with majesty in glory and beauty and structing them in the things of God.

Guest (Male): You're listening to the Dwelling Place with Pastor Al Pittman. This broadcast originates at Calvary Worship Center in Colorado Springs. We hope you were blessed by today's study in the awesome book of Colossians. And if you were, we'd love to hear about it. Email Pastor Al at amen at cwcccs.org. That's amen at cwcccs.org. And include a prayer request if you'd like to. If you're interested in hearing Pastor Al's message again, go online to cwcccs.org or call and request a CD copy at 844 221 3363. Again, we can be reached at 844 221 3363. If you've been blessed as you've studied along with us, perhaps you'd like to help support the ministry.

We'd be so encouraged if you would. And you can donate online at cwcccs.org or text the word give to 719 354 2778. Our address is Calvary Worship Center 505 Castle Road, Colorado Springs, Colorado 80904. If you missed any of that, it's all available at cwcccs.org. If you're in the area and looking for a church home, stop by on a weekend to Calvary Worship Center and be sure to introduce yourself as a radio listener. Join us at our west side campus or our creekside campus. You can find service times and directions for both on our website at cwcccs.org.

And then join us next time for the Dwelling Place when we'll again open the book of Colossians together with Pastor Al Pittman. Until then, may God bless you mightily as you dwell in his magnificent love.

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