Destined for Victory

Paul Sheppard: Do you know some people are better off after they make a little mess? Some folk can't be used too well because you're a little too stuck up. You're a little too out of touch with reality. You think you're all that. And so God has to let you go through some experiences where you realize, "No, no, you're not all that, you're some of that." But you're not all that.

Guest (Male): Hello and welcome to another great day here on Destined for Victory, where we feature the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Sheppard. Always glad to have you with us.

Paul Sheppard: So let me ask you, have you ever made a mess of things? If so, you already know God can turn our messes into messages. He did it with Peter who denied him, with Thomas who doubted him, and with Paul who persecuted him.

Guest (Male): Today, we'll take a look at how Jesus handled relationships and how he wants us to handle ours. Online, you'll find us at pastorpaul.net, where you can listen on demand to any of our recent messages and get details about how to listen on your favorite digital platform. And be sure to download our free mobile app when you get a chance. Search Destined for Victory at the App Store and listen to Destined for Victory wherever you go.

Now, let's get started with today's Destined for Victory message, Being Holy, Being Human.

Paul Sheppard: Bible says he takes our sins and cast them into the sea and remembers them no more. And you want your forgiveness of people to be a reflection of God's forgiveness in your heart. A wonderful example of that is in the gospel record after the resurrection. Remember how badly Peter messed up?

Luke chapter 22, he bragged to the Lord, "I'll always be with you. These other folk are going to forsake you. You picked the wrong ones. But you did do one thing right, you picked me. I got your back, Jesus. I'm with you to the end. I'll even die with you. We're going down together. We're being in the same foxhole, we're going to go down together, me and Jesus."

Jesus looked at him and said, "Before tomorrow morning, you will have denied me three times." And it happened just as Jesus said. And Peter felt miserable. And he followed even when Jesus was going to the cross. Bible says he followed from afar. And he was ashamed, thoroughly ashamed of himself. Failed miserably.

But he didn't know how wonderful Jesus was until after the resurrection. Jesus had given instructions to the women and said, "Go tell my disciples and Peter to meet me in Galilee."

Now, the wonder of that is that Jesus wanted to make sure Peter knew he had not disqualified himself because of how he denied the Savior. See, if Jesus didn't have it right, he'd say, "Go tell my disciples." They said, if somebody would have said, "Well, what about Peter?" He'd say, "Hmm."

See, or if he was like some of us, he'd have been, "Oh no, Peter want to, oh no, Peter want to swear to people that he doesn't know who I…" Well, you can't have it both ways. If you're going to release him, release him. He said, "Go tell my disciples, and in case Peter's not sure whether he's still a disciple, I'll call him by name. When you find him, tell him I gave a personal invitation."

Because you may well imagine, they'd get to him and to the others and say, "Jesus said meet him in Galilee." And you would imagine, without that clarity, Peter would be standing there saying, "Well, I guess that doesn't mean me." Because you know all the people he's running into in life are probably like the people we've run into and dealt with, who when you mess up, that's it. None of this three strikes, you're out. One strike will get it done.

I'm through now. I told you not to mess over me, didn't I? Told you not to mess over me. No, no. Jesus made it plain. He said, "Go tell my disciples and Peter to meet me in Galilee." I'm so glad for that kind of grace. I'm the recipient of that. How about you?

God doesn't forgive me on probation. God doesn't give me one little shot at it, and I blow it, and he's looking at me cross-eyed the rest of my life. In fact, going back to Luke 22, do you remember what Jesus said to him after prophesying that he would fail? He said, "After you are converted." Peter, you're going to mess up.

Satan is going to shake you up, sift you like wheat, but I prayed for you that your faith won't fail. See, sometimes you fail, but your faith doesn't. I messed up, but my faith is still anchored in the Lord. And Jesus said, "I prayed for you, Peter, that your faith wouldn't fail." And he said, "And when you are converted, strengthen your brothers."

Do you know some people are better off after they make a little mess? Some folk can't be used too well because you're a little too stuck up. You're a little too out of touch with reality. You think you're all that. And so God has to let you go through some experiences where you realize, "No, no, you're not all that, you're some of that." But you're not all that. You have some problems, you have some weaknesses, you have some besetting sins.

See, if all you do is evaluate yourself, you get a wrong perspective. That's why you've got to have some people in your support system who love you enough to tell you the truth. If you don't have anybody who can speak truth to you and you say, "Thank you for that. I needed that. I appreciate that wake-up call." You are, you are a shipwreck waiting to happen. See, if you're grading your own test, you'll pass every time.

You don't know the answers. You pass every time. You've got to give your test to somebody else. Am I as nice as I think I am? Let your friends say, "No." Uh-uh. And the good thing about it is that Jesus already knew who you were when he called you. When he saves us, he sends his spirit into our lives to be with us forever because he knows it's going to be a lot of work. And so the Holy Spirit moves in. He doesn't come to visit, he moves in, because he's going to be dealing with you and your issues and your stuff.

But I want to tell you, you've got to reconcile relationships. I love the fact that even in the New Testament, the apostles didn't ignore that. Paul was writing to the church at Philippi, and he's writing all these wonderful truths, "He that began a good work in you shall come" and all of that. And then he gets over into chapter four, and he says, "Oh yeah, those two women in the church who are feuding." Call them by name.

And says, "Tell them to get their act together." Right in the midst of all this, "He who began a good work in you is going to perform it and and and God is at work in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." All those scriptures we love to quote. Well, right there, in Philippians chapter four, he says, "Yeah, those two ladies, tell them to get their act together." Verses two and three. Because God cares about that.

And some of us are having these feuds and these spats with people, and you won't let stuff die, and you keep on bringing up little petty things and silly issues with people. Come on, life is too short. Get over that stuff. Get over it, stop it. Cut it out. Well, some of y'all want a spiritual word, you need to sound more spiritual. "Yay, and the Lord would say unto thee, 'Stop it.'" Cut it out.

These little feuds running little fights and and somebody you've got to hold on to something that you should have let go a long time ago. Life is too short for that. It'll mess up your walk with God. It'll mess up your fellowship with him and your ability to minister to other people.

Now again, if you've got something to deal with, deal with it. But once it's dealt with, let it go. It's over. Send it away. You'll do yourself and other people in your life a wonderful favor. You ever seen mean old people? Next question, do you want to be one? Well, I suggest if you don't want to be one, you better be practicing the right things now. Because what happens is you get good at what you practice.

And you show me a mean old person, I'll show you somebody who didn't deal with stuff right as they were living their life. As they went from one decade of life to another, they just carried more and more junk with them, more and more stuff with them, more and more unresolved issues, more and more hatred and resentment and bitterness in their hearts. Bible says, "Let that stuff go." That's what for the concept of forgiveness is. Let it go, release it. If you can't reconcile, then release. Give it over into the hands of the Lord and let him bless you.

Third point in Christ-like balance: Establish appropriate boundaries. These are the kinds of things you have to study the scriptures to see about the life of Jesus. See, we love looking at how he ministered, how he healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out devils, and he did all of that. But you know what else our Savior did and teaches us by his example? He established appropriate boundaries.

When you see that story over in Matthew chapter 14, just before he walks on the water and goes out and rescues them in the midst of that storm, do you know what happened before that? Before that, he ministered to some people. And then the Bible says, he withdrew to a solitary place. Because he knew that in between ministry opportunities, you've got to find time to withdraw.

He withdrew so he could commune with the Father without the distraction of the demands of people. Jesus knew that in order to do the will of God, you've got to establish appropriate boundaries. And so you find him withdrawing in Matthew 14, before, in fact, you find him trying to withdraw, the people come, he ministers to them because they found out where he was.

And then he said, "Well, we've got to go to the other side of the lake, and I haven't had all the quiet time I wanted, because when I withdrew, the people found me." And he had to minister. So then you're told that he tells his disciples, "We're going over to the other side of the lake. I tell you what, you all go ahead. I'll meet you." And he sent them. That's why he had to come rescue them, because Jesus said, "You all go."

And if somebody said, "No, no, no, we're hanging with Jesus." "No, no, please, please, go." Why? He needed his time with the Father. This isn't time for all of you all. Sometimes you need the Father to help you deal with the next episode with the people. I don't understand how you get up, run out, and go to your job and don't pray first. Dealing with the people you have to deal with, and you didn't stop and pray? What were you thinking?

Talk about you're too busy to pray. You're too busy not to pray. You've got to get up and say, "Lord, thank you for this day," and worship him and get Christ-centered in your mind and in your heart. And then say, "Now, Lord, I'm getting ready to go out and start my day. I've got to deal with my job, or I've got to deal with my family, or I've got to deal with the people at school. Whatever it is. Lord, you know what's ahead of me today. I need you to anchor me in you."

I need you to help me prepare my mind and my heart. Get into the word. Let the word speak to you. Remind you of what's important. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. You're too busy not to pray. You've got to establish boundaries so that you can have time to build yourself up physically, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically. You need time. And so you find Jesus not always going forward, but you find him withdrawing.

You find the same thing in Luke chapter 5, verses 15 and 16. He withdraws before he goes to the next ministry assignment. Not only that, but part of that establishing boundaries is learning how to say no when it's time to say no. Some folk don't understand that that can be a very godly word. See, a lot of people in your mind, you know, turning people down is somehow un-Christ-like.

You've got to understand that sometimes you cannot do what people want of you, because you've got to stay focused on what God wants out of you. That wonderful story in Luke chapter 8, where Jesus healed the demoniac who was running around in the tombs. Demons just driving him crazy. Jesus cast those spirits out of him. And you find him there in the latter part of Luke chapter 8, sitting at one point with the man, and the folk were amazed because the man was clothed and in his right mind.

Because they were used to seeing or hearing about him naked in the tombs when those demons were just driving his life into destruction. And he would often just tear his clothes off him, just be naked. And now he's clothed and in his right mind, sitting there, and the people come and they're just amazed. But then the people were scared of Jesus too. And so they sent him and they said, "Please, leave here."

And Jesus said, "All right, I'm on my way." And he's on his way to his next assignment. Well, keep reading. That man begged Jesus, "Please, let me go with you. Please! You've done so much for me. If I can just go with you, I'll serve you, I'll do whatever you want." It's the clear implication. He wants to just go with him and be with him. Here's the man who's changed my life.

Jesus looks at him and says, "No. No, you're not coming with me. I want you to go back to your hometown. And everywhere you go, I want you to tell everybody you run into what I've done for you." In other words, Jesus said, "You've got to do what God called you to do, which resulted from your healing and deliverance." You've got a testimony. You've got to go places I'm not going, but you can tell them what I did for you. But in order to get that done, Jesus had to tell the man, "No." "No, you can't come with me."

And some of us have false guilt. I've seen a lot of Christians over the years laboring under a load of false guilt. "I feel bad when I don't do what people want me to do," and they're just laboring. You have to understand something, that your calling is to please God. And as you pray and seek his mind and his heart for your life, there are people who are only in your life for a season. Or there are some people you're only there to minister to for a season.

But if you keep them with you longer than God wants you to, they develop an unhealthy attachment to you. And they stop seeing God and start seeing you. And so you have to listen to the Father. And you have to you have to understand that some things are seasonal in nature. If I minister to you, get you on your feet, now you've got to go forward and do what God's called you to do. And you can't attach yourself to my life.

Some people labor under that burden with their families. And there comes a time when you say no. No, I can't help you. No, I cannot be there when you want me to be there. No, I can't bail you out all the time. You've got to understand. God didn't call you to be somebody's rescuer. Jesus died for all of them. If Jesus died for them, his death will do some good. You let him kill you, that won't do them any good.

And so you have to know when it's time to withdraw. You say, "Well, I have trouble with that." Well, ask the Holy Spirit and your support system, the people God sends into your life, to help you begin to establish appropriate boundaries so you can say no. Parents, I tell you as often as I can. I tell you who have young ones so you can learn it now. Your job is to work yourself out of a job.

If you do it right, one day your children won't need you the way they need you now. That means you've done your job. Don't let your self-esteem and your identity be wrapped up in actively parenting them. Because it's supposed to change as they grow, as they mature. It's supposed to change. And after a while, you reach that time when you're able to look at them and say, "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Go, my child, go."

Don't feel guilty. That's what God gave them to you for. So you can train them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Hopefully, they've come to love God with all their heart. Now, if they're not loving him yet, keep praying for them. Keep believing that that seed of the word you sowed down in their heart will produce fruit of righteousness. Believe God for them.

But understand that you're in a different season. And you shouldn't have something walking around your house 30 years old that still can't make it without you. Something's wrong. If they're there, they ought to be there at that point at your convenience. If they're there, they ought to be there at that point to help you. Come on now. Ought to be there to help you, to support you.

"What can I do to make your life easier?" If they're still there, they ought to be at your request and your convenience. They ought to be there, they ought to have a job. Come on. It's the will of God. Establish appropriate boundaries. My money is not yours forever and ever. Amen.

And so you've got to discern where you are. Sure, anybody can get in trouble. And if you can bail them out, it's fine. Do that. But a bail out and a life of dysfunctional dependence, two different things. And then some take it up, take up the cross with their grandchildren, start all over again. And they depend on you for every single thing. And then the kids who made them are off living like God knows what, because you've allowed them to shirk their responsibility. And you're actually supporting it.

I tell you, there was a season, the last three years we were in Philadelphia, we lived right next door to Meredith's mother. Right next door. And she told us as soon as we moved there, she said, "Now, I'm glad you all are here and what have you." Our kids were very little. She said, "But I want to tell you, don't think just because you live next door, you have built-in babysitting." She sure did. Looked us right in the face. "I want to tell you now, don't even don't even start it. When I feel like it, I will tell you this is a good day. Bring them on over. You all go, help yourselves. Knock yourselves out, have fun. If you don't hear from me, or when you call me and I say no, believe me."

You know what? She was right. She was right. Those are your children. You all had them, raise them. Support them. Appropriate boundaries so that you can do the will of God. So that you can please him in every area of your life. And so you've got to learn, at times, God will call you to say no. I can't help you right now. You can't make yourself always physically available to people. Thank God for answering services.

Thank God for it. You know, back in the old days, you know, the phone would ring and ring, and if you didn't want to answer it, or you were busy, you'd miss the call. That was it. You didn't know what happened. Told you, technology can be a blessing. Now there's no excuse. You don't have to worry, "Well, what if I miss a really important call?" You know, back in old days, you had to pick it up for fear it was urgent.

Well, nowadays, let the machine get it. You check the machine, see what's going on. You don't have to be live with everybody. You don't have to be available to everybody. And let me help you Christians, you don't have to lie on your answering machine. A little tired of calling Saints' house. "Hi, I'm not here." "Leave a message." And I start leaving, "This is Pastor Paul." "Oh, hey, Pastor!" "Lord, Pastor's on the phone. Honey, Pastor's on the phone."

No, no, no, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up, rewind. That machine told me you weren't there. Don't lie on your machine, that doesn't honor God. You don't have to tell them what you're doing at all. You call my house, you'll hear this, "This is the Shepherd's residence. Please leave your name and phone number. God bless you. Beep." I told you the truth. It's our residence. Leave your name, your number. If we're not answering live. Often we answer live, but when it's not live time, when it's family time, when it's prayer time, when it's not you right now time, you go into the message.

And you know, lie, just say, "Leave a message." And you know, you probably have folk in your life like I have in mine, "I don't talk to machines." "Well, then you won't be talking to me." Take your pick, figure out what you want to do. If it's live time, fine. You understand what I'm saying? We've got to follow Jesus' lead. If our Savior knew that there were times when it's too much. I've got to withdraw and play pray and reflect and get my heart and my mind and my body ready.

If the Son of God had to do that, what chance do you think you have of not living with appropriate boundaries? And the point is not so that you can be grand. You're not trying to be grand and special and "Oh, now you're cute, huh?" Don't let people throw off on you like that. No, it's just a matter of regulating my life. Not every ringing phone is urgent. And so there come those ways and those times where you screen and where you just make sure you deal with what you need to deal with, but you allow God to help you bring a balance to the activity and the motion and movement of your life. And in these things God will be well pleased.

Guest (Male): Thanks so much for being here with us for today's Destined for Victory message, Being Holy, Being Human. You know, our media ministry was built upon a deep desire to honor God with our time and resources, and it's listening friends and partners like you who give so generously to give us that privilege. But it seems the summer months can often be a tough time of year.

I once asked Pastor Paul if this was true for Destined for Victory, and he gave me a very candid answer. Here's what he said.

Paul Sheppard: Yes, it is, and it's simply because people love us and they want to support us, but sometimes we're so glad to be through the winter and the spring, and we're now in the summer, and we're ready to take some vacation time and and do some things that we've longed to do for months. And we get to do it, whether it's travel or or whatever, but I just want to encourage and remind our listeners that if we're going to keep on preaching the word throughout the year, then the support is absolutely necessary, because I have found out that the bills don't take vacations. They they keep coming every single month, and so we have to be ready to meet them with the finances necessary. And again, it's not about the money, it's what the money does. Your giving allows us to keep on declaring truth that people need to hear day in and day out, month in and month out. So at every season, even in the summer, we get to keep preaching timeless truths if we have the financial support. I want to thank all of our partners, all of our donors, everyone who make sure to meet the financial needs so that lives are changed, souls are saved, and people come to know who Jesus is and how important knowing him is in their lives.

Guest (Male): We're so grateful for friends like you who support our media ministry with your prayers and charitable giving. As you heard Pastor Paul say, your donations do make a difference. And as you give generously today, we have an outstanding resource to share with you as our way of saying thanks. It's our latest booklet, When Humans Attack.

You may remember the story of Mary and Martha from the Gospel of Luke. Martha is busy preparing a meal and doing household chores, and she grows frustrated because Mary, rather than helping her out, is sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to his teaching. Pastor Paul takes an honest look at this story in When Humans Attack, contrasting distraction and devotion and showing the value of pausing to be near Jesus. It also offers some biblical wisdom about how to handle unmet expectations and personal conflict. That's When Humans Attack, our thank you gift this month when you make a generous donation to Destined for Victory.

You can give by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500. Or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538.

Paul Sheppard: God has called us to live an authentic life, that life is really too short to be lived inauthentically or to be lived unwisely. Life is not a dress rehearsal, it's the real thing. You don't get to come back and do it again. And therefore, we must let the word of God teach us how to live wisely.

Guest (Male): And that's tomorrow in our message, Being Holy, Being Human. But until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.