Destined for Victory

Paul Sheppard: God said, "I'm up to something in your life, and I'm going to take this difficult chapter, I'm going to flip the script, I'm going to begin to write a new chapter. It will not ignore your past, but it will be built on the pain of your past. And God will build a wonderful story in your life on the pain of your past."

Guest (Male): Sometimes God builds his best houses with the bricks of brokenness and the mortar of mourning. Hello and welcome in to another great day here on Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Sheppard. We're talking this week about the pain of broken relationships and God's plan for us when someone hurts or abandons us.

We have to face the pain, grieve the pain, and forgive the person who caused the pain. Only then can we begin living the abundant life God wants to give us. Today, you'll get a glimpse of what that life looks like. Remember, visit pastorpaul.net to listen to any recent message on demand, including today's. pastorpaul.net. Also, subscribe to the podcast at Spotify or wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Now, let's listen in to our Destined for Victory message, "I've Got a New Attitude."

Paul Sheppard: Romans chapter 12, beginning at verse one, Paul says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

We have been looking at the fact that God has promised us in this passage that if we will no longer conform to the pattern of this world, that he will, in fact, do a work in our lives that will be transforming. He said, "Don't conform any longer to the pattern of this world." J.B. Phillips' translation says, "Don't let the world squeeze you into its mold." But instead, Paul says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

That's what God has promised us. He has promised that if we're in Christ, he'll make us new creations. And we've understood that that means new in kind. God wants to make some areas of your life and mine so new that we hardly recognize ourselves in that area of living. God wants to take you from where you've always been to a place you've never been in him, where he transforms us.

And we're seeing that the key to that transformation, Paul said, is the renewing of our minds. What are some of the areas in which God wants to renew and transform us? Well, one key area is in challenged and broken relationships. And in the last message, we were looking at the fact that God wants to take us, despite challenges in relationships, to another place.

So we've seen that the Lord says, "I want you to put down your weapons and stop feuding with some of the people in your life." And we looked at Philippians chapter four, where Paul called the names of two ladies in the church, Euodia and Syntyche, and he said, "Tell those sisters to stop fighting and to agree with one another. They're disrupting the flow of fellowship in the body, and tell them to get on the same page."

And we've learned from that. Some of us just need to decide there are some skirmishes in our lives, there are some ways we've been hassling with somebody, whether it's a family member or a coworker or somebody in your community, your kids, your parents, whoever it is. You need to quit fighting with them. Life is too short for some of the stuff that we have going on. At a certain point, you've got to end the little skirmish. Tell them, "You win. Listen, I'm not going to hassle with you anymore. Okay, we'll do it your way. It's no big deal." And just decide it's over.

Then we said there are some issues that run deeper. And in Second Timothy chapter four, Paul lets us know that there are some issues that run deeper, and he gives us a wonderful example as to how to deal with those. So in the last service, we were looking at the fact that Paul helps us understand what you do with a category of people in your life that I call deserters.

Paul said in Second Timothy chapter four, he said, "Listen, Timothy, I want you to come to me quickly. I'm in jail, I'm soon going to be executed, but I want you to come to me quickly." He said, "For Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me." And we talked in the last service about: what do you do when people desert you? What do you do when you've been counting on folk and they up and leave your life?

There are some challenges relationally that run deep, and you really have to know how to deal with them. And thankfully, we have precepts and principles in God's word to help us with that. So in the last message, we talked about: what do you do when people desert you? The first thing we said is you've got to face it. Don't live in denial. Let denial remain a river in northern Africa.

Don't live in denial. When folk have deserted you, you've got to have the courage to face it. You've got to look it square in the face and you've got to call it what it is. They have deserted me. Paul said, "That boy, I could count on him at earlier stages in my ministry," he said, "Timothy, but he has deserted me now." You've got to be willing to face it. You know, there are a lot of people who don't want to face the ugly truths in their lives.

But we said you cannot change what you will not confront. God wants to transform you. He wants you to get past that point of desertion and abandonment, but first you've got to take a look at it. Don't be like my friend Gail when we were growing up. She was deathly afraid of dogs. And one day a group of us young folk were walking down the street and she saw a loose dog coming our way, and she was terrified.

She froze in her tracks, screamed, and closed her eyes. Well, the dog didn't care anything about us. The dog went on about his business. And we assured Gail the dog is past. And when she had the courage to open back up her eyes, one of the young folk said, "Gail, why did you close your eyes?" She said, "I didn't want the dog to see me."

Let me tell you something, some of us are living that way right now. But you need to look the dog of desertion in the face, and you need to face it. You cannot experience the transforming power of God until you face it. Secondly, we said, if necessary, grieve it. And I took a lot of time and talked about the importance of grieving losses in our lives.

You can't get the transformation God has for you until you own it. Don't try to be so super spiritual that you don't feel anything. If you didn't need tear ducts, God wouldn't have given you any. There are times you need to cry. There are times you need to work it out. You need to give voice to your pain. And we went into detail about that.

And then the third point we covered is that you must forgive your deserter in your heart. In your heart. Now, they've deserted you, so there's going to be no reconciliation. They're gone on about their life. They have made their decision to not be true to you, not live up to their friendship or their obligation to you, whether it was a spouse or a good friend or whoever it is who has walked away from you.

We're not talking about them acknowledging their wrong and coming back and asking for forgiveness. When a person asks for forgiveness, the Bible commands us to extend it to them. But what do you do when a person has wronged you and they will not acknowledge the wrong? God doesn't leave us bound. So what he tells us to do is to forgive them in our heart.

Paul said in Second Timothy chapter four, verse 16, he said after he talked about the fact that some people, at his first defense, "No one," he said, "came to be with me. All of them deserted me." Then he said, "May it not be held against them." And that's forgiving in your heart. And I talked in the last message about the importance of forgiving people in your heart because you can't move on until you have placed them in the Lord's hands and said, "God, I'm just going to move on and believe you for greater things."

So we know now according to the word how to deal with our deserters. You face it, you grieve it, you forgive them in your heart. And then one more point I want to pick up here and let you know, and that is you pursue God for the strength to move on. After you have done the work of facing it, after you have done the work of grieving, after you have done the work of forgiving in your heart, now you're in a position to believe God and to pursue God for the strength to move on.

What that means is, many times you have to pursue God until he heals your broken heart. Because you know, folk can break your heart. And that heartbreak can be devastating until it heals. So what you have to do is say, "God, now I've obeyed your word. You commanded me to release them into your hands, but I'm still left with this pain." And there's somebody who can tell you and testify that if you will do what God tells you to do, he is as capable of healing your broken heart as he is of healing any part of your body.

And so you've got to pursue God and say, "You know what? This person may have deserted me, but they are not going to get the right to the last chapter in my life." And I'm going to pursue God for the strength to move on. I want somebody to make up in your mind that whoever deserted you, whoever walked away from you, is not so important that they can define the rest of your life.

Do not give them that much power. Do not give them that much authority that just because they're gone, your life is over. Don't sit in the house of your life singing sad songs. Don't give them that much power. You've got to pursue God. You know why? Because God said, "I'm up to something in your life and I'm going to take this difficult chapter, I'm going to flip the script, I'm going to begin to write a new chapter."

It will not ignore your past, but it will be built on the pain of your past. And God will build a wonderful story in your life on the pain of your past. God is able to get you where he's taking you. The fact that they wronged you must not be denied. Yes, they wronged you. Yes, it did feel like a handicap for a while. Yes, it made you feel horrible for a while. Yes, it got you off the path of right thinking for a while. But God is able to take you from where you are to where he wants you to be.

Listen, don't ever forget God has the original navigation system. The original navigation system. I told you many times when I got my first car with a navigation system, I was into something because I was tired of people giving me bad directions. "All right now, Pastor, let me tell you how to get there. Now you're going to go down this street and you're going to see, let's see, I think it's a gas station." And finally, I had a navigation system in the car.

And the first time I got a car with one of those, and they told me, "Pastor, all you need is the directions, the address. You don't need directions, you just need the address." I said, "Oh, that's wonderful." So when people would invite me somewhere, I have an appointment somewhere, I'd say, "Give me the address." They'd say, "Let me tell you how to get—" "No, no, don't tell me how to get there. Just give me the address, please."

They give me the address, and I learned to put it into the thing and push the guidance button. And this lady started talking to me. And I found out that if you listen to her and then if you look at the map on the screen, the map would confirm what the lady was saying. And I learned that when you walk with God, God through the Holy Spirit is the voice, and the word of God, the Bible, is the map.

And you've got to learn that God knows how to get you to the destination, to the destiny that he has for your life. God already put in the destiny for your life, and now he's guiding you from where you are to where he said he was going to take you. Now the problem is, sometimes while driving—and I discovered this when I first got a navigation system—sometimes while driving, we get sidetracked.

Either the music's too loud or you're thinking about something and you're not paying attention to the voice and the map. And listen, when somebody has deserted you, sometimes they can get your mind off of the voice of the Holy Spirit and the map of the word, and you spend a little season somewhere out in a desert, in a wilderness, feeling sorry for yourself. And sometimes you feel like Elijah, "Lord, just come take me home. I'm sick of this world. I'm ready to get out of here."

But God says, "No, no, I'm not ready to get you yet. I'm going to show you that I can get you from the wilderness to where I've destined you to be." And I'm talking to somebody who's in a wilderness right now trying to figure out, "Is there anything worth living for?" And the Lord made me stop by to tell you he has a plan for you. He has already put in the destination.

You're sitting in the wilderness, you're sitting on the side of the road feeling bad, feeling like there's no hope because some joker left you. And I want to let you know, I discovered when I got my first Navi that every now and then I didn't follow directions for a little season. I was preoccupied with my music or something and I didn't listen to where they told me to go.

I remember the first time that happened to me. And I remember saying to myself, "You know what? I haven't heard that lady in a little while." And something hit me, "Are you sure you're on the right road?" And I looked down at the map and I saw on the screen the word "recalculating." And I found out what the system was doing is saying, "He is somewhere he has no business being."

But we are still committed to getting him from where he is to that destination that was put in the system. And so it was recalculating. Okay, based on where he is now, how do we get him back on the right road? And in a moment after recalculating, the lady said, "At the next light, turn left." Oh, that's the way God wants to do somebody right now.

God is saying to you, "I know where you are. I know you're feeling hopeless. I know you're feeling messed up. I know you're wondering whether it's worth it." But God is saying, "Come on and follow me. I know the plans I have for you. They're plans to do you good and not harm. They're plans to give you a hope and a future." And the Lord is saying, "Just turn when I say turn. When I move, you move just like that. Hallelujah! Glory to God!"

Some of y'all don't know what I just said, but don't worry about it. It's all good. We're all right. God wants you to move with him. He hasn't thrown you away just because your heart's been broken. He hasn't thrown you away because somebody didn't cooperate and do what they should have done in your life. God says, "I can still get you to where I've destined you to be."

And so you've got to pursue God for the strength to move on. You've got to say, "Lord, I'm getting on the program with you." It's time for somebody to stop ignoring the voice and stop ignoring the map. You've gotten upset and you've thrown your Bible down and what have you, but listen, God is saying, "Come on, I'm ready to get you moving again. No need of sitting on the side of the road letting life pass you by."

It's time to engage. Put this thing in drive and believe me. I know it feels tough, but if you'll release it into my hands, I can heal your broken heart and I can cause you to move on and experience my glory and my goodness. So the Lord is up to something in your life. You've got to decide you're going to pursue him. You've got to be like the Psalmist who said in Psalm three and verse three, "But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me, you're the glory and the lifter of my head."

You've got to make up in your mind, I'm going to let God lift my head back up. It's been down a while. I've been heavy a while. I've been going through. But God, I'm tired of this. Sometimes you've got to get sick of where you are. And you've got to say, "Lord, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being down. I'm tired of feeling sad and pitiful. I'm tired of this. I believe, Lord, that your word is true and I'm going to believe you to be the lifter of my head."

I love that the Psalmist sometimes talked to himself. In Psalm 42, you see him talking to himself. Verse 11, he said, "Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Why are you disquieted within me?" He said, "Hope thou in God, who is the health of my countenance." Every now and then you've got to talk to yourself. I said every now and then you've got to talk to yourself.

I know some folk made you think that it's a little special, it's a little crazy to talk to yourself. I beg to differ. I have been alive long enough, I've been through enough long enough, and I've preached and ministered to enough people to tell you: sometimes the best person to talk to is yourself. Sometimes talking to the raggedy folk around you is not going to help you at all.

There are some times in your life when people around you—bless their hearts—when they first show up, you were mildly depressed. By the time they leave, you are gravely depressed. Somebody know what I'm talking about? You've been there. Time they get through with you, you say, "Lord, I thank you I don't have a weapon around here." I suggest that there are times when you have to be intentional about talking to yourself. You've got to join David and ask yourself questions. If you want the right answer, you are a professional.