Destined for Victory

Host (Male): Hello and welcome to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Sheppard. Coming your way in just a few moments, a message from the life of Jesus called Being Holy, Being Human. But before we get going, here's a special message from Pastor Paul's wife, Meredith.

Meredith Sheppard: Hi, this is Meredith Sheppard. Pastor Paul was my beloved husband. I want to take a moment to thank every person who has supported Destined for Victory through your prayers and financial gifts. Your generosity allows us to continue bringing the life-changing message of Jesus Christ to listeners near and far. Many are encouraged, strengthened, and reminded of God's faithfulness because you chose to invest in this work.

We often hear from listeners who tell us that they heard Pastor Paul's message at just the right moment—a word of hope during a difficult season, a reminder of God's love when they felt alone, or a message that helped deepen their walk with Christ. Those moments are made possible through your partnership.

As we look ahead, especially during these summer months, we invite you to continue standing with us. The need for the gospel has never diminished, and every gift, large or small, helps keep these broadcasts on the air and extends our reach to those who are searching for hope and truth.

If this ministry has been a blessing to you, or if you believe in the importance of sharing God's word through Destined for Victory, I would be honored by your continued support. Simply visit our donate page at pastorpaul.net/donate. Together, we can continue proclaiming the good news and touching lives for the glory of God. Thank you for your faithfulness, your generosity, and your commitment to advancing God's kingdom. I thank God for you and pray His richest blessings upon you and your family.

Host (Male): When you choose to give generously today, we have a special gift to share with you as our way of saying thanks. It's our latest booklet, "When Humans Attack." You may remember the story of Mary and Martha from the Gospel of Luke. Martha is busy preparing a meal and doing household chores, and she's growing frustrated because Mary, rather than helping her out, is sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to His teaching.

Pastor Paul Sheppard takes an honest look at this story in "When Humans Attack," contrasting distraction and devotion and showing the value of pausing to be near Jesus. It also offers some biblical wisdom about how to handle unmet expectations and personal conflict. That's "When Humans Attack," our thank-you gift this month when you make a generous donation to Destined for Victory.

You can give that gift by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500. Or you may visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. Or you can mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538.

Paul Sheppard: The Bible has something to say about making sure that you don't allow relationships to be mud in your wings. Because in order to go with God, you're going to have to fly to some heights, and mud in your wings won't let you go. And so you're going to have to learn that it is a God priority for your life to reconcile relationships. No matter how great and wonderful you may be, some people won't like you.

Some may be unbelievers who oppose your faith. Others may be right there in your home church. What's the godly way to handle these relational conflicts? Find out next on today's Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Sheppard. The message is called Being Holy, Being Human, and it starts right now.

There are people who don't like you. Now, the people who don't like you are in two categories. Some of them know why they don't like you, and if you give them half a chance, they will tell you why they don't like you. It can be personality conflict. It can be some of your strengths that are their weaknesses. It can be any number of reasons, but they know why they don't like you.

Then there are other people who are your detractors, and they don't even know why they don't like you. And you ask them, and it's just something about her. I don't know what it is. Something about her. I just can't put my finger on it, but something. Some folks just looked at you one day and just decided they did not like you. I'm trying to help you now. I'm trying to help you. And they don't necessarily know why.

Detractors. Jesus had them. You know who Jesus' detractors were? Religious folks. They gave him the worst trouble. Sinners he could hang with, because they knew who he was, he knew who he was, and everything was cool. He came to build relationship with them, not to go down to their level, but to bring them up to his. So the Bible called him a friend of publicans and sinners. He befriended people religious people resented.

So when religious people saw him befriending sinners, then he became their enemy. And then when he preached against their hypocrisy, even more so they became his enemy. Because one time he looked at the Pharisees, he said, "You all remind me of a graveyard." He did. He said, "You're all cute on the outside and white stones all cleaned up," because the Pharisees wore these white robes and stood in public places and appeared to be spiritual and prayed these public prayers.

And Jesus said, "You all look just like a cemetery with white stones but full of dead men's bones." Well, you know, when you talk about folks like that, good luck trying to get invited to their special events. But those were his detractors. And you have detractors. What are you going to do with them? You're going to do what Jesus said. If you're going to live a productive life, live a balanced life, get the will of God done, you're going to do just what your Savior said.

He said, "Love your enemies." Love them. Don't go down to their level, because they're rolling their neck and snapping you off and sucking their teeth. Don't go down there with them. Don't do that. Jesus said, "Don't go. Love them. Do good to them. Don't do them any harm. Do them good." Leave them on that level by themselves. What will happen is some of us will find that this pushes a button for you.

Your enemies push a button for you. They push your pride button, and you feel like, "No, see, I don't let people dog me. No, see, you don't understand me. No, you're not going to come at me like that. No, Pastor, I'm sorry. People don't treat me that way. Do you know where I am? You know where I'm from? You don't treat people that way. I will cut you." Well, see, God let those enemies come into your life so you could discover the fact that you had too much pride to do His will.

Because to do the will of God, you have to humble yourself. You have to humble yourself. You don't have to put yourself in harm's way, but you have to humble yourself. See, a lot of people misunderstand that. They'll look at this teaching on the Sermon on the Mount and they say—I've heard people, pacifists, and there are many Christian pacifists in the body of Christ, and thank God they are our brothers and sisters—but I respectfully disagree with them on this issue that you should never, under any circumstances, take up defense of yourself if you're attacked.

Because Jesus taught us not to do that. And I said, "No, he didn't." Jesus wasn't against self-defense if somebody presents genuine harm to you. He wasn't against self-defense. He told his disciples in Luke chapter 22, he's about to be betrayed, they're about to be on their own, he knows how scared they are. He said, "If you all don't have a sword, this would be a good time to buy one." And he was talking about a defensive weapon.

He's not talking about going out and starting a fight. But they lived in a hostile environment. They lived among people. They didn't have a police force that was there to protect and to serve. And right in your Bible, I didn't write it, it's in there. He was giving them the sense of security that they had a felt need for. And again, it was under those circumstances. I've seen Christians fight back and forth and argue back and forth.

Christians love debating stuff over, in our present circumstances, what's appropriate and what's inappropriate, and should Christians ever take up arms and all. You all can figure all that out later. I've got to finish my message. Point is, in the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus said, "If they slap you on one side of your face, turn your cheek," he's not talking about self-defense. Because a slap on the cheek isn't going to kill anybody.

He's talking about your pride. He's saying, "Prove to them, your Roman oppressors," he's talking to the Jews under Roman occupation, he said, "Prove to them you're bigger. Prove to them you have more character. Prove to them you don't have to defend yourself every chance somebody insults you." So if they slap you on one side of your face, turn the other cheek. Let them slap that one, too.

And I've heard carnal folks say, "All right, but now what do I do after the second one? All right, Pastor, I want to do what Jesus said, but now after that second one, can I light into them?" No, he's not trying to tell you to count hits now. Because some of you all would be like, "Hit me again. Come on, no, no, right there. Go on, hit me again." He's not talking about self-defense. He's talking about pride issues.

They were trying to humiliate the Jews. Same principle. He said, "If they make you carry their burden one mile, when you get to the end of that one mile, carry it a second mile." There's no physical harm in walking two miles. It would do most of us a lot of good. He's talking about issues of pride. If you humble yourself, God can fight your battle. But if you're always fighting them, then God stands back and says, "No, God, I've got this, I've got this."

And so your detractors keep pushing your button. And have you wondered why enemies keep on coming into your life? Sometimes it's because you haven't passed the test. Now, enemies will come in different seasons, but every now and then, you get into a cycle where you can't look up for a new enemy. And it's because you keep flunking your test, and God keeps giving you makeups.

The only way to grow in this area of development of getting your relationships in order so you can stay focused on doing the will of God is you have to master what you do when a detractor comes along. You have to learn to love them, you have to learn to give them over to God, and pray. Some of you all should thank God for your enemies, because they're the ones that make you pray.

Some people wouldn't have a prayer life if it wasn't for their enemies. You know, if you're undisciplined in that area and you typically don't take the time to spend time with God, that's all right. When your enemies get through with you, you're either going to pray or you're going to hurt somebody. And so they keep coming into your life. When you hit one of those seasons where it looks like they're just lined up somewhere, just waiting to come into your life, you'll know why.

Host (Male): In case you joined us late, you're listening to Destined for Victory, featuring the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Sheppard. Stay with us, the second half of today's message is coming right up. One of the things we love to do for friends and listeners like you is to pray for you when you're in need. So if you have a prayer request, please visit pastorpaul.net and use the contact feature to share it with us.

Our ministry team is always happy to lift you up in prayer. And of course, when you stop by our website, remember that's where you can listen to the broadcast on demand at your convenience, pastorpaul.net. Jesus had plenty of friends and followers, but he also had his fair share of detractors and disappointers. So will you. Now, let's turn our attention to the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, "Being Holy, Being Human."

Paul Sheppard: Then there's another category of people: they're disappointers. Now, disappointers are different from detractors. I've taught this for years, but it's an important concept for you to get. Detractors are people who don't like you. They resent you, they hate you, they resent what you stand for, whatever it is, whether they know why or not. They don't like you. And if they could, they'd do you harm.

But aren't you so glad that when you belong to God, they can't determine your fate? So you have to deal with them by loving them. Now, you keep a respectful distance. Please understand, this humility thing is very important, but humility and lack of wisdom are two different things. You love enemies, but you don't turn your back on them. When somebody has proven to you that they don't like you, believe them.

And don't give them entree into your life. Don't go out looking for them. Don't invite them to lunch. You say, "But I'm supposed to love them." Send them lunch money. I'm telling you now, you have to walk in wisdom. Jesus didn't go around looking for the Pharisees. They came to him. You've got to be wise in dealing with your enemies. But you master that. You walk in humility, you walk in wisdom, you can master that so that your enemies don't get in your crawl.

You have people who are out against you. You've got to learn how to properly defend yourself. I've told you for years, when I first as a pastor started getting poison-pen letters—people want to write you and tell you off what they don't like and all, and don't even want to sign it—when I was young and green in ministry, I'd read all that stuff, and it would get all in my heart. And I'd just say, "Oh, Lord, look at this."

And so they would get to just sniping me and talking about everything they didn't like and what they resented and what you need to do and you ought to be this and you ought to be that. And I didn't even know who they were. And then they'd leave me messed up. And there were seasons where for weeks, sometimes months, some sniper has gotten into my crawl through the stuff they said from a distance. And I had to learn.

Now I teach younger pastors: don't open that stuff up. If there's no return address or no name at the bottom of it—a real name that you know or they've identified themselves in the first paragraph—don't read that stuff. Don't let it get in your system. Don't let people snipe at you, because the Bible says if somebody's got something to say to you, they ought to walk up in your face and say, "I have a problem with you.

I have a problem with a decision you made. I have a problem with what you did here. I have a problem with this, and I need to talk to you." That's a person with whom you can seek reconciliation. You let people snipe at you from the shadows, you're just putting yourselves in harm's way. And so I learned many years ago—and to this day every now and then, it doesn't happen much, thank God, but every now and then to this day, somebody will still send one of those things—it goes straight and I know they're sitting there saying, "I hope he got it."

I never even saw it. If you sent one, I'm telling you now, I don't know what you said, because I learned that it wasn't good for me to expose myself like that to anybody who had something to say. There were ways, there were opportunities for them to do it according to the Word of God. The Bible says if somebody has offended you, go and show them their fault, and the two of you sit down. And so you have to learn how to be wise.

But your disappointers are in a different category. Your disappointers are people who don't hate you. In fact, many of your disappointers would say they love you. That's what makes them disappointers. In Joseph's life, Joseph of the Old Testament, he had the disappointer who was the king's cupbearer. You remember when he served him while they were in jail? And he prophesied to him. He had a dream, and he told him that means that three days from now you're going to get your job back.

And because I've taken good care of you while you've been down here in prison and what have you, when you get your job back, would you remember me to Pharaoh? I'm down here. I'm innocent of this charge of attempted rape. I did not try to rape Potiphar's wife. She came on to me, and I fended her off, and she got mad. And so she decided she was going to say I tried to rape her. And I've been in jail for years for a crime I didn't commit. Would you please remember me to Pharaoh?

Reasonable request. People disappoint you because you have what you think are reasonable expectations of them. But here's the thing: disappointers, although they may love you or at least certainly don't have any harm intended towards you, they are uniquely human. Some of them have weaknesses and flaws and besetting sins. Some of them were messed up from childhood.

They have family-of-origin issues. They have all kinds of stuff. You could write a PhD on some of these people, a dissertation for a PhD. I'm telling you, some folks are just messed up. And so when they come into your life, they might have good intentions, but they're still jacked up. And the result is, when you make a reasonable request—and Joseph said, "Just remember me to Pharaoh so I can get out of jail. I've been in here for years"—the Bible says the cupbearer got his job back.

My man was so glad to get his job back, he forgot all about Joseph. For two years longer, Joseph remained in jail. Until one day the king had a dream, and no one in the kingdom could interpret it. And the cupbearer was standing there by the king's side. And suddenly it dawned on him when he heard, "Is there anybody who can interpret this dream?" Here's the cupbearer: "Oh!" Don't you have people like that in your life?

Two years late, but here they come. "Oh, King, I was supposed to tell you about a Canaanite who's down in jail, and he can interpret your dream. He's a man of God." King said, "Go get him." The thing I like about Joseph is he kept his spirit right. That's what I'm telling you you've got to do if you're going to do the will of God. You've got to balance your life. You can't just pray; you've got to keep your spirit right.

And when your disappointers disappoint you, you can't have an eternal attitude towards them. You're going to have to give them over to God. Now, I'll be the first to tell you that's not always easy. And sometimes in the church, we're guilty of making folks think everything is easy. Not everything is easy. Some things you have to work through. Some things you have to wrestle with.

You've got to get down to the core of those issues, find some loving people you can trust to work it through with, pray it through. And if you have a disappointer who won't come clean, who won't acknowledge what they did—some of your disappointers live in denial. And so if that's them, God wants you to release them anyway. See, forgiveness is a two-sided coin, and we love talking about the part where if they come to you, then you forgive them.

That's one side. But let me tell you, there's another side to the coin. What if they don't come? What if they don't acknowledge? You have to have a heart of forgiveness anyway, just so that you are free. If you never come, if you never acknowledge what you did to me, I can't let you in my life, because when you have a person in your crawl, they leave you stuck right at the moment of the offense.

I know people who today they're living 15 years ago, 20 years ago, when some offense happened, and they're right there emotionally. They are right there psychologically. And you can't let your disappointers do that to you. Your disappointers are people who you've got to give over to God just like your detractors. Reconcile, sometimes brothers and sisters in the family of God, sometimes in your natural family, your family of origin.

Whoever it is, the Bible tells you how to get those straight. Deal with them one-on-one. See if you can bring reconciliation about. If they're in denial or resentment and don't want to deal with you, then you have to deal with it in prayer and let God help cleanse you of any resentment and bitterness. Sometimes you have to get people out of your system who are dead.

I'm not telling you what I think, I'm telling you what I know. People who are long gone, but they're still stuck in your heart. Unresolved issues. I want to let you know God loves you too much to leave you in bondage over something people did, over mistreatment. And He has a power and a grace available to set you free, break those shackles.

And you have to be willing to say, "Lord, in order to live a balanced life, to do Your will, I want to be available for You to help me reconcile my relationships." Reconciliation takes two. Even if they won't reconcile with me, help me to get it right with You and get free from them so that I can go on and do Your will.

Host (Male): When we hold on to bitterness or unforgiveness, we are like the man who drinks poison hoping someone else will die. As you heard today, reconciliation takes two, but forgiveness only takes you. Choose to release your detractors and disappointers today. There's no weakness in forgiveness.

We're so glad you stopped by for today's Destined for Victory message, "Being Holy, Being Human." To find out more about Destined for Victory's mission and purpose or about the special gift reserved for you when you give generously today, please come see us at pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net.

Paul Sheppard: You and I have to learn that we've got to get our act together with people. God doesn't want you to be one of these kind of folks who says, "Oh, just give me Jesus and leave those folks alone." That's not balanced Christian living. That's not living that can please God. You can't please God without getting your relationships right with people.

Host (Male): And that's next time in our continuing message, "Being Holy, Being Human." Until then, though, remember: He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.